CSI Fan Fiction Critique Group.

lostladyknight

lostladyknight

Pathologist
Welcome to the Critique Group!

This group is for anyone interested in improving their writing, beginners and advanced writers are all welcome.

The point here is for everyone to benefit, the ones doing the critiquing and the one being critiqued. I find that people actually gain a lot more when they take a close look at someone else's fic.

Here's how it will work.

--Each week, I'll chose one story from a group member to feature. It can be from any CSI fandom.. It will be in accordance with Talk CSI standard rules and won’t be rated anything greater than “T.”

--Anyone interested in participating should read the story then leave their comments on this thread. .

--The story will be active for a week and then I'll post a new one. Discussion can continue on an old one for as long as need be but I will request that after a new story has been brought to the forefront than all other communication must be done via PM. Ideally, the writer will work with some of the suggested changes and that might spur additional comments.

Please remember these things when posting your thoughts:

1. Be honest but factual - give examples
2. Try for a balance - there's good and bad in all stories
3. It's about the work not the person - don't make it personal
4. There are bound to be disagreements - this is good, just keep it civil.

If you open yourself up to the experience, you'll be surprised at what you can take away.


Each week the story chose will be coupled with a topic question that was inspired by the story. For instance if the story is based on the MK saga from Vegas the question might be: “Should the author include background information with stories that relate heavily to a certain plot from the show, or would it be acceptable for them to assume that their readers know the whole story already?” This is strictly opinion and will be answered along with the critique. At the beginning of the next week the question may be re stated and what I deem to be the “Best” answer may be given. This depends on how I feel about this when we’re actually going.

Each critique will be submitted in five paragraphs. 2 things they did right. 1 they did wrong. 1 for the topic question. 1 for additional comments.

How to get your fic chosen:
1. Be active and critique for others.
2. Use good grammar and spelling.
3. PM me or leave a message in this thread.
4. If you didn’t write a critique for that week for whatever reason, you won’t be picked. Sorry.
5. Don’t’ hate me if I don’t pick yours that week. I can only do one a week.


Please let me know if you’re interested or are planning to participate in this. I’d also love suggestions and or ideas. And lastly I’m in need of a volunteer for our first week’s critique.

-LLK

(The above was taken and modified from the critique group at fanlib.com)


Since I've had NO responses yet I'd like to request one more thing. Can you please tell me why you're not responding to this? Is it a bad idea? Why? I'd like to know so I don't try to bring it elsewhere.
 
LLK...

I think its a good idea! Maybe you said this already so please forgive if I missed it, but can the stories be old and new? Can they be stories that you have already submitted on other sites as long as they are rated T?

Perhaps some are just scared to be critiqued? I know I take my writing seriously, and putting your work out there is hard. However, I think getting feedback is something that keeps people writing.
 
I'm up for it. As long as we are all careful not to start flaming. I find constructive criticism combined with lots of praise is the best way for writers to improve.

I get it from Jen (shopping_luva) all the time! She's amazing! Always ready with her red pen and smily face stamp hehe.

I'll volunteer if you like. I don't take criticism personally, I use it for improvement! :lol:

Jodie
xxxxxx
 
I have a piece that I wouldn't mind submitting. It's written in 1st person, and I just recently started to write in 1st person...so I wouldn't mind to hear how I could improve things.
 
Please PM me with a link to the piece you want critiqued, Waiting and Adorelo! I'll pick one, and we'll get started.



Once I have the link, I'll post it here, and the rest of us will have 1 week to write our critiques and post them here. We can discuss different points made as we go along. We can all learn from every submission.


Thanks, by the way, to the mods that sticky'd this topic!
 
I decided to make a seperate post for this. Sorry.

CSI Critique Fanfiction #1: CSI Miami, E/C, "Just A Moment" by Adorelo.

This week's TQ: Cnsidering perspective(IE first person), which perspective makes the best stories? What kinds of things effect your preference?


Please refer to the guidelines for critique that are outlined above and post your critique within this thread.

You will have one week. A new fiction will be submitted on Sunday October 14, 2007.

Thank you.
 
Ohhhh how exciting! I look forward to your opinions! Are you gonna join in LLK??

Jodie
xxxxxxx
 
Yes, I will be writing a critique, but I think I may wait a couple of days to present it. Just to give other people a chance to go first. I did read your story though, and I'm eager to write my review of it.
 
LLK, i think you should start your critique now, this way, the other members who like to criticize will have an example of what can be done or not.
Just a thought...

Sissi
 
Well, okay, I guess I could do that.

But it doesn't have to be exactly like mine.

-LLK

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay here is my first critique:


Critique #1.

I enjoyed reading your story very much. It was interesting from the beginning, even though I know very little about CSI Miami at all. I really enjoyed how you began the story stepping right into the action. The first thing the reader thinks about with this story is work, and then the reader’s attention is diverted to the conversation that begins. This is the way it should be in CSI fanfiction, because ophthal. the CSI’s lives revolve around their jobs.

The only thing that took away from the story, for me anyway, was the perspective from which it was written. I think this was more a matter of personal prefernce though, than an actual problem with the story. It is harder to write any story in any pov than 3rd. I really don’t have any suggestions as to how you could change it. I think that with a little more practice in trying to create a sort of flow between the prose, you’ll have an a+ story. Since I’ve never made the attempt to write that way, I really don’t have much advice. I’m sorry.

Another thing that I really liked about this was that you hinted to something outside the story, there in the end, without saying what it was. It gives the readers something to do with their imaginations. It will also keep them thinking about the story for a long time after they leave. So, the ending was really great.

As for the topic question I don’t think that there is any one point of view that is better than the others. I think what really matters is the writer and how comfortable they are with the perspective that they are writing. I’ve seen some fantastic writers out there that just couldn’t pull off first person, but that had the most killer third person stories I’d ever read. I, myself, took more than a decade of writing for pleasure before I ever turned out anything in first person that I liked. So, I guess, no perspective is better than any of the others. I’m also not saying that any one is harder to do well than the others, people just have their talents. I think that it really is a matter of the opinion of the reader coupled with the skill, in that area, of the author.

I’m sorry that this wasn’t a more well written critique but with such a short story it’s hard to really get into an elaborate analysis of a story when there just isn’t much to go off of. So, again, I’m sorry. I’m not in any way saying that short is bad, because it’s not. I love one shots and drabbles and I write them very frequently myself. I’m just sorry that I couldn’t be of more service. Keep writing because I want to keep reading! Great job.
 
Okay...here it goes...this is my first critique so I am by no means an expert! ;)


Adorelo,

Thanks so much for sharing your story here. I haven’t really written anything in 2nd person or read anything in 2nd person before so it was different.

I think when a story is written in this perspective that it comes across less personal, and I’m not sure if that was what you intended for or not. Another thing to consider is the words ‘you’ or ‘your,’ because it stands out when it’s over used. But, then again those are the only two words that one can use while writing in this perspective. So I would just try to limit those words as much as possible. For example, you wrote:

“Calleigh?” you asked, peering into the blood-spattered bathroom, pausing to see the path she had created before you walk in.

Perhaps this might help limit the word ‘you’ that is repeated:

“Calleigh?” you asked, peering into the blood-spattered-bathroom, pausing to see the path she had created before walking into the diminutive room she was occupied in.

Wow…I had to think about that for a moment, because it’s Eric that is walking in and not Calleigh and describing who it is that’s walking in without using the word ‘you’ is challenging.

I think your grammar is in good shape, and your writing is easy to read and not full of too much description which can be tedious to readers that just want to get through the story.
I’m not sure that I liked all the stammering he did with the word ‘err’ being used because I felt that it was a distraction while I was reading what he was trying to say.

What I really liked was Eric asking for a place to stay, and no answer was given immediately because she gets distracted with evidence. This is so typical in the CSI world. I also like the gentle yet flirty banter that the characters shared towards the end. I could see this happening in my mind.

As far as the different perspectives go, I think this would have sounded better in 1st or 3rd person but that might be because I’m used to reading in those. It all depends on what one is trying to accomplish. I think 1st person is more personal and you can really reflect on what each character is feeling when you write it from their POV. But just like 2nd person, the word ‘I’ or ‘we’ can be over used. Third person seems to be more descriptive and more detail oriented because in a sense we are seeing the story through someone else’s eyes. All and all, it was an enjoyable read to me, and it seemed to flow very well. Nicely done!
 
Hey guys, just a little update frm me :) I did originally write this in 3rd person, but I found it just didn't work, hence the change. I have only written one other story in the second peson, so this was just more practice for me :)

Thank you to you both (so far) for takeig time out to do this!

And waiting? I am with you, I didn't like my Eric stammering. Any suggestions as to how I could change and improve that?

Really love this thread LLK, can't wait to hear/contribute more.

Jodie
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Adorelo,

When I write a character that is flustered I usually have them stumble over their own words. Here is an example of something I wrote. I bolded them for you! I don't know if this is any better...let me know what you think?

“Cat…, hey how’s your day going?” She quickly turned as she jumped at Nick’s sudden voice.

“Nicky…uhhh it’s been…,” she stopped as she felt the floodgates loosening. She could not lose it in front of him. Not him of all people. “Fine,” she barely managed as her throat started to restrict with emotion.

“That tough already? I noticed that you came in wearing a jumpsuit. Did you have to surf through garbage or something?”

Catherine smiled at him in hopes to keep her emotions in check. “You…you could say that.”

“Well do you need any help or anything? Grissom has me on paperwork and I’m already caught up. I’ve sort of been doing nothing, and it is driving me crazy.”

“Well…Nicky…you know I’m not the lead. You need to ask Sara. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind your help,” Catherine says as she takes a seat on the bench and puts her sneakers back on.

“Woa…when did that happen?” Nick asked as he ran his hand over her right cheek.

Her face deepened a new degree of red as she stuttered over her words. “I…today…at the…scene…fell.” Catherine closed her eyes in further embarrassment as her words made no sense. “I fell while processing the scene, and caught a tree branch.”

“You had a fight with a tree? Did it get away?”
 
I just wanted to thank everyone who is participating in this therad. I really appreciate all the open mindedness to my idea and all of the participation.

Thank you all.
 
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