Your captions:
1.
Calleigh: Hey, Eric. What are you doing?
Eric: I wanna make party today, but someone drunk all beer i buy for it. Soon i find out who... and this person see russian-cuban anger! *evil laugh*
Calleigh*to herself*: Damn it! I told Ryan it was bad idea! *to Eric* You know, i gotta go... *run away*
2.
Eric (singing): 18 bottles of beer on the wall, 18 bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around, 17 bottles of beer on the wall.
Calleigh: :wtf:
3.
Eric: 99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, You swab one down, Run it through CODIS, 98 bottles of beer on the wall.
4.
Eric: "Hey, what are these?"
Calleigh: "Mutant beer trees, Eric. A vic gave these to us as a gift for catching the bad guy. She does genetic research, and she found a way to make beer grow on trees."
Eric: "Wow! This is great! I'll keep this one, you can have that one, and Frank--"
Frank (off camera): BUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRP! "What's this you and me crap, buddy? It was MY CASE!"
5.
Eric: "Mmwwaaaah, ha ha ha! We're finally alone, my little precious. You're all mine!"
Calleigh: (thinking to herself) "I swear, he's been hanging around too much with Alexx in the morgue" *shakes her head*
Eric: "I love you...you...you..and you"
6.
Calleigh: Eric, I'm glad you're enjoying your new telekinetic powers. But the party starts at Five, and the team will soon be here. I think you'd better levitate the beers back to their upright position on the table.
Eric: But I don't want to, this is just too fun!