Once upon a time there were three gals who happened to be big Gary Sinise fans.
At the age of 11, BittenbytheWolfe memorized every line Gary had as Lt. Dan in Forrest Gump. She would recite the lines at family parties for whatever relative that would listen. Given that Lt. Dan's favorite words were of the four-letter variety, this did not go over well.
midnight_tiptoes celebrated her eighteenth birthday with a drunken jaunt to Mexico. In one of her only sober moments, she brazenly walked into a tattoo parlor and demanded that the owner tattoo a picture of Gary on her backside. After eight hours in the chair, midnight left the parlor fiftenn hundred dollars poorer and one Sinise richer.
Top41 saw her dream purchase on eBay: a pair of Gary Sinise's underwear (or so the seller, Sketchball007, claimed). But, being a poor, unemployed English and creative writing major, she had no choice but to sell her body on the mean streets of the big city to win the auction (for a reasonable $38, 250).
One day these three Gary fans found themselves at Talk CSI together. There was a little tension at first, when midnight realized Top was the one who beat out her bid for Sinise's underwear by thirty seven cents, and when Bitten bested the other girls in a "Who Loves Gary Best" contest (the winning claim is best not repeated here. Let's just say it has something to do with the divinity of Gary's used mouthwash).
But soon the gals put aside their differences and formed the Church of Sinise. Services are held Wednesday nights following CSI: New York and often last well into Thursday. Rituals usually involve male models who stand in for Gary, various essential oils, and copious amounts of alcohol.
Where is this story going, you might ask? Well, one day it was announced that The Lt. Dan Band, Gary Sinise's very own band, was coming to Chicago for a benefit concert. What are three devotees of the Church of Sinise to do?
Together the gals borrowed, begged and stole the cash to be able to go see the man himself! Next Saturday (June 11th) is the big date! Will Bitten impress Gary with her encyclopediac knowledge of his films?
Will midnight show him her tattoo? Will Top get him to sign the hard-won underwear? :devil: Stay tuned!
*100% pure parody, except for the fact that we're going to the concert.
Any other Lt. Dan Band fans here? Anyone else seen them in concert or on TV? Post your stories, and we'll share ours next week!
At the age of 11, BittenbytheWolfe memorized every line Gary had as Lt. Dan in Forrest Gump. She would recite the lines at family parties for whatever relative that would listen. Given that Lt. Dan's favorite words were of the four-letter variety, this did not go over well.
midnight_tiptoes celebrated her eighteenth birthday with a drunken jaunt to Mexico. In one of her only sober moments, she brazenly walked into a tattoo parlor and demanded that the owner tattoo a picture of Gary on her backside. After eight hours in the chair, midnight left the parlor fiftenn hundred dollars poorer and one Sinise richer.
Top41 saw her dream purchase on eBay: a pair of Gary Sinise's underwear (or so the seller, Sketchball007, claimed). But, being a poor, unemployed English and creative writing major, she had no choice but to sell her body on the mean streets of the big city to win the auction (for a reasonable $38, 250).
One day these three Gary fans found themselves at Talk CSI together. There was a little tension at first, when midnight realized Top was the one who beat out her bid for Sinise's underwear by thirty seven cents, and when Bitten bested the other girls in a "Who Loves Gary Best" contest (the winning claim is best not repeated here. Let's just say it has something to do with the divinity of Gary's used mouthwash).
But soon the gals put aside their differences and formed the Church of Sinise. Services are held Wednesday nights following CSI: New York and often last well into Thursday. Rituals usually involve male models who stand in for Gary, various essential oils, and copious amounts of alcohol.
Where is this story going, you might ask? Well, one day it was announced that The Lt. Dan Band, Gary Sinise's very own band, was coming to Chicago for a benefit concert. What are three devotees of the Church of Sinise to do?
Together the gals borrowed, begged and stole the cash to be able to go see the man himself! Next Saturday (June 11th) is the big date! Will Bitten impress Gary with her encyclopediac knowledge of his films?
Will midnight show him her tattoo? Will Top get him to sign the hard-won underwear? :devil: Stay tuned! *100% pure parody, except for the fact that we're going to the concert.
Any other Lt. Dan Band fans here? Anyone else seen them in concert or on TV? Post your stories, and we'll share ours next week!
