Are We Paying You By The Word? - The CSI Booklist

Discussion in 'General CSI Discussion' started by midnight_tiptoes, May 30, 2006.

  1. midnight_tiptoes

    midnight_tiptoes Head of the Day Shift

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    I thought it might be fun. The idea is you write the title and author of a book that would be incredibly short given their knowledge on the subject. In other words, topics our CSIs would be REALLY bad at writing. Example:

    Ethics, Schmethics: Interpersonal Relationships In The Workplace by Gilbert Grissom and Sara Sidle

    You Have The Right To Remain Fabulous! A Guide To Appropriate Workplace Attire by Catherine Willows, foreword by Stella Bonasera

    ¡Libérate Hombre! The Day Of Judgement Is Closely At Hand: Don't Let Your Co-Workers Push You Around by Nicholas Stokes (also available in broken Spanish)

    Gay Spirit Warrior: An Empowerment Workbook for Men Who Love Men by Donald Flack, foreword by (wishes to remain anonymous)

    We're All Pink Inside: Approaching Racial Issues in the Workplace With Tact by Frank Tripp

    Necrophilia For Dummies: 101 Funny Uses For The Word 'Stiff' by Dr. Alexx Woods

    Surviving Loss, Betrayal, Lies, Death, Drowning, Demotion, Addiction, And Geriatric Sex With Class and Professionalism by Catherine Willows

    Labels Disable: Fat and Loving It! by Tony Vartann

    Crazy And Me: A Survival Guide For Men Who Love To Give by Eric Delko

    Whip It! The Long Lost Art of Communication by Lady Heather, illustrations by Gilbert Grissom

    "Oh, What The Hell" - A Love Story by Gilbert Grissom, edited by Sara Sidle

    "..." : Helping Your Co-Workers Mourn by Calleigh Duquesne

    I'm Gonna Pretend I Didn't Hear That: When No Means No by Sara Sidle

    Lil' Kid Lover: Using Proximity And Gratuitous Touching To Help Children Through Trauma by Horatio Caine (rejected titles: Let Me Kiss Your Boo-Boo Away and Funny Uncle Horatio Has Loving Hands)

    He's Just Not That Into You by Rick Stetler, foreword by Sara Sidle (foreword retracted after printing)

    Cancerous And Fabulous! Don't Let Your White Blood Cell Count Drag You Down by Marisol Delko
     
  2. Bunny

    Bunny Rookie

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    That is such an awesome idea!!

    My Career As a CSI - A Real Life Account of Someone Who Saw It All by Holly Gribbs

    Setting a Good Example For Your Co-workers By Demonstrating How to Do the Work Properly by Horatio Caine, with a preface by Conrad Ecklie


    Heh. :D
     
  3. _Calleigh_

    _Calleigh_ Coroner

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    Great thread! :lol:

    Ok, here's my try...



    How to deal with a crowd of adoring teenage fans, by Dr Gilbert Grissom

    What to expect when you're expecting: 1001 tips and tricks to raise a child without risking a breakdown, by Sara Sidle, in collaboration with Dr Gilbert Grissom

    Sex abstinence and Chastity: no girls in my bed, by Eric Delko

    The Top 10 Rules to face safely your job and survive it , by Timothy Speedle
    & Ryan Wolfe

    The day I fell in love with the right woman, by Horatio Caine

    Weaponless self defence: say no to guns, by Calleigh Duquesne

    Guide to the best classical music, by Greg Sanders

    Be abhorrently nice, flirt with as many colleagues as possible, try not to be caught. Handbook for the perfect mole. , by Natalia Boa Vista

    Da man who dropped the Casino (aka: I'll never marry the wrong woman and piss off my ex-boss), by Warrick Brown

    Looking young without plastic surgery: keep your scalpels off my face!, by Catherine Willows

    Honey, I buried the team alive. How to rescue your co-workers in 12 hours when they're in grave danger., by Nicholas Stokes
     
  4. midnight_tiptoes

    midnight_tiptoes Head of the Day Shift

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    Mothers and Daughters: Weaving A Lifelong Bond by Catherine Willows

    Letting Go by Lindsay Monroe

    Forgive And Forget: Attaining Peace of Mind by Ellie Brass

    Awakening Intuition: Using Your Mind-Body Network for Insight by Mac Taylor

    Achieving Your Goals: How To Mantain Your Self-Respect by Natalia Boa Vista

    How To Throw A Fabulous Moulin Rouge Party: Dos, Don'ts, and Brulees by Conrad Ecklie
     
  5. Top41

    Top41 Administrator Administrator Moderator Premium Member

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    ROTFLMAO!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

    The PARTY Hardy Book by Mac Taylor

    How to Stalk Your Co-Workers So They Never Suspect a Thing by Lindsay Monroe

    The Art of Being Subtle by Don Flack

    How to Stay Calm, Collected and Centered in Any Situation by Danny Messer

    *cough* Flack could so write that book. It would be dedicated to Danny. ;)
     
  6. pizzapie

    pizzapie Pathologist

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    That is hilarious!


    How to talk normally by Horatio Caine
     
  7. Bunny

    Bunny Rookie

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    101 Pick-up Lines by Emergency-Backup-David

    How to Choose the Perfect Tie by Donald Flack, jr.
     
  8. midnight_tiptoes

    midnight_tiptoes Head of the Day Shift

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    Who do you think wrote the foreword?
     
  9. Top41

    Top41 Administrator Administrator Moderator Premium Member

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    :lol: :lol: :lol:

    How to Be a Functional, Well-Adjusted Human Being by Danny Messer
     
  10. MacsGirlMel

    MacsGirlMel Mac's Personal Assistant

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    1001 Ways to Look Great in Sunglasses by Horatio

    Ways to Entertain Yourself While Trapped by Danny

    How To Annoy Your Boss and Get Away With it-Flack

    The Cell Phone Blues, or how to get blown up and live to tell about it
     
  11. midnight_tiptoes

    midnight_tiptoes Head of the Day Shift

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    You're Never Fully Dressed Without A Smile: Achieving Complete Happiness by Horatio Caine, foreword by Calleigh Duquesne

    The Luckiest Little Girl That Ever Lived (a children's book) by Madison Keaton

    Be A People Person: A Guide by Gilbert Grissom

    Love And Marriage: Learn To Trust And Respect Your Co-Workers by Ryan Wolfe

    Ka-Boom!: My Life In This Fucking Lab by Greg Sanders

    Little Boys Bible Storybook for Mothers and Sons: For Mothers and Sons (Little Boys) by Paul Millander, illustrations by Charles Shultz
     
  12. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Being a Rookie and get pushed around by your coworkers by Greg Sanders
     
  13. MacsGirlMel

    MacsGirlMel Mac's Personal Assistant

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    City Guide for Country Girls by Lindsey

    How NOT to be a Private Detective by Aiden

    When Good Dates Go Bad by Stella

    What To Do When You're Sleeping With The Boss-Sara
     
  14. Bunny

    Bunny Rookie

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    How Not to Mix Up Work and Your Private Life - The Art of Putting Down a Case You're Personally Involved In by Catherine Willows, edited by H. Caine

    How Best to Approach the Person You Always Wanted to Be by Nigel Crane
     
  15. Ninjakitten

    Ninjakitten Victim

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    How to Win Friends and Influence People, Revised Edition by David Hodges.

    Your Day in the Sun: Getting Out from the Shadows of your Coworkers by Emergency Backup David... Robinson.

    Who's Your Daddy?: Devloping Healthy Relationships with Absentee Fathers by Catherine Willows.
     

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