Re: Det Vartann
The comment in "Big Middle" was extremely rude towards obese people. It was supposed to be Greg's line at first, but Szmanda complained so the writers shoved it onto Vartann. I think the line just sounded out of character for him. Normally he's really softspoken and sweet, like when he opened the door for Sara at the scene one time. I forget the ep.
As for marriage, I could see him being married and then divorced, his wife cheating on him or something because he was never home -- the whole cop thing, maybe bringing the job home or something. Coffee, I say either black or really strong with a little cream, like hhunter suggested. Definitely boxers. He only drinks when a case gets to him, like with a murdered child or something.