I'm finding it difficult to formulate a coherant opinion on this episode because my heart is breaking.
I finally got to see the whole thing with my husband, tonight, and, surprisingly, enjoyed both cases, though one more than the other, and found the GSR bits to be just as lovely as before.
But, I'm haunted by the image of Sara standing there, arm in a sling, realizing just how separated she now is from those she loves most. It's poetic, and it's beautiful, and it was amazingly directed and acted, but it's absolutely heart breaking. I'm sitting here at my computer, and I'm deeply affected. I mean, it's probably because I'm projecting too much and finding a new kinship with Sara in that feeling of being still a part of the team, but somehow outside it. Whatever it is, it's not letting me go, and I'm sitting here devestated by the thought that soon that beautiful talent may no longer grace my screen except in reruns.
The Go-Kart case was the runaway fav for me this week. I just had a blast with it, even though I didn't think murder was ever a part of the equation. There were just so many subtle things in this episode that made it really... nice.
I liked the idea of the trophies. I've played laser tag twice in my life, and I still have my cards from my first one when I triumphantly took on the veterans and topped them all. I was 14, I believe, but it was an amazing victory for me. I felt like I was queen of the world, so I thought it was a nice touch that these teenagers, granted a bit older, but still very much obsessed with status, would enjoy that type of thing.
There were many funny lines associated with the go-kart case, most notably Greg's reference to making bombs in his youth, which I found absolutely delightful and perfectly in character. Greg and Nick are a grand team, and they play comedy off of one antoher brilliantly. I loved Nick's reaction when Greg claimed to have been "in the know" about the Gil/Sara phenomenon.
I loved the brother. I know this might sound strange, but it's comforting to me, sometimes, to see a person in a wheelchair. My grandmother was a cripple, and would often let me spin in her chair. It wasn't strange or out of place to me, but a part of my childhood. It was just a part of life. So, for me, there's a degree of familiarity to see someone in a wheelchair. So, I immediately, irrationally, liked the character.
I also liked the touches. Though his brother was a bit of a showoff, he was still very tender about their father's death. He wore the belt every day as his way of "dealing." And the helmet was to show pride in his brother. I thought it was brilliant and very true to life. It reminded me of my baby brother, and I believe that he'd do something like that in that situation.
And Mandy and Nick. They just have this great connection and understanding, and he's such a gentleman with her and she's a lady with him. I don't know how to describe it, but I adore the kinship, there.
On the other case, Warrick and Catherine take a twist in the dark, and while I really enjoyed all the funny twists and turns, it was very easy to pick out the killer. The motive was a jumbled mess, but the killer was easy to notice.
And whoever said they thought the sign said "bling" instead of "blind," my husband was with you, commenting how that wasn't very subtle for YoBling. I about died.
I told my husband that I believe the person who wrote the episode is not a fan of dining in the dark... I mean, we had an affair going on at one table. Then, we had a guy groping a young lady. Regardless of her profession, she did not deserve to be groped by a stranger against her will. And, we had a murder.
Not to mention, everyone's dining with those skewers. To me, that's lawsuit-central. But, I'm getting carried away with the minute details that don't mean anything in the grand scheme of things.
As for the Gil/Sara stuff, I rather liked most of it, and found myself chuckling out loud at times. When Sara came in, there was a nice moment of everyone regarding her, happy to have her back, but almost completely aware of what it meant to have her back. She's got a new label to them, and it's one that they're going to have to get used to.
Ecklie seems to have gotten over all his past issues with Sara. I'm glad. They have a good onscreen chemistry either way, but it made it a lot more relaxed and casual.
I adore that Sara stated simply that they've always had a relationship. This is true. There was always something there, regardless of what you want to define it as or label it as. Grissom, himself, couldn't put a name to it in season 3, but he couldn't help but admit that he felt it. He knew it was there. In "Butterflied," it still bore no name, but "it" drove him crazy throughout the episode as he fought the battle the reality of the dead girl versus the scenario in his head inwhich he had lost, not a stranger, but the one woman he believed he could love.
I also like that she stated "are" instead of "were." Some people think she was being snide or rude, but I think that she was simply trying to keep things real. To say that they "were" in a romantic relationship would imply that it was over. And while disciplinary action would still be taken either way, Sara wants it on the record that they are still together, and that this is an active thing. They are not each other's pasts. They are each other's nows.
She remembers when they first got "intimate," which rather gave me a giggle coming from Ecklie! I love, though, that it was two years ago, though, as so many of us have speculated. Those of us in the GSR fandom have spent a lot of time trying to settle on a timeline that made sense for all the things were knew were cut out of scripts, or changed at the last minute because of unforseen circumstances, etc. To actually know that it happened two years ago makes it even more fun for us to go back through old episodes and see how certain scenes were played, and to see if we can make it work, or if the writers are just stretching to satisfy their imaginary timeline that never made it onscreen...
Anyway, on a Sunday. My husband always remembers those little details. It's nice that she remembers.
And Gil asserting that the relationship started nine years ago was just hilarious. I have to step back a second, though, and agree with Ecklie that Gil did not handle this situation well. Hold off! Don't bite my head off, yet! Yes, Sara's to blame as well, but please let me make my point!
See, there were ways around all this mess and having it come out the way it did. It's awful that it's happening, but it was preventable. I do wonder, sometimes, why Gil and Sara chose to keep it hush-hush, and knowing that there were alternatives makes the decision even more questionable. Yes, I know that the writers are trying to make it more dramatic, but I do question how that interlaces with what they've established for these two characters. I always assumed that them being together would be a violation and they would be subject to consequences no matter what. I never would have considered that Ecklie would make arrangements otherwise. However, in this scene, he's the controlled one, and Gil seems a bit... snippy.
I mean, while I admit I snickered at the comment when Gil asked Ecklie where he got his information on women since I believe we know his character is divorced, but Gil and Sara did have a choice, and could have avoided her moving to another shift if only they had sucked it up.
I'm still very conflicted on this part of the episode, and will probably have to meditate on it, further, before I come to a conclusion that makes sense within my own head, let alone one I can express to anyone else.
As for the scene in the car: I adored it. It was probably the most "couply" I've ever felt these character have been together. As they sat there in the car, he had to know what she said to Ecklie about their timeline, and while we don't get to see his face when he reacts to her reply, we see hers, and it cracks me up. I love that she finds his answer amusing and that she just laughs at him. See, it reminds me of me and my husband. We do things like that to each other all the time, and it just cracks both of us up.
I just loves how easy and relaxed they seemed with one another, and how he remembered that she had her hair in a ponytail that day. It just seems so sweet and romantic and relaxed. Yes, I said it, again. This scene felt very real and honest and just... human.
I love how she sobers first, asserting that she's going to swing. "We talked about this." He doesn't like it. He does not like the idea of her being the one to switch. He thinks he should be the one to go down, but she argues her case, and he decides to step back and let it be her decision. It hurts him, and you can tell he's not happy with it, but he loves her and he's going to let her make her own mind up. They talked it out and probably weighed the pros and cons, but she now sees things differently. She's being self-sacrificial in a way that she really shouldn't, but it ties into her personality. And Gil, trying to be a part of this couple thing, lets her make up her own mind.
In the go-kart place, Gil's watching, and he's willing to stay by Sara's side, but she wants him to have fun. She knows that, in a minute, she'd be out there if not for the cast. She'd be going round that track and having a blast, and she doesn't want to take that from her roller coaster loving sweetheart.
And so, she stands there, and as she does, the loneliness hits her. She wasn't prepared for it, but here she is, watching the entire team go round and round the track, enjoying their lives, smiling and laughing, and she's set apart. She's watching the show, and she's smiling when they look over, but she's not actually a part of it. It's a terribly beautiful metaphor for what she's going through in her life, right now.
These are her friends, her family, and now she's going to be on a shift without any of them. When the team split the first time she still had Gil and Greg and all the night lab people, but now she's going to be in a whole new world, and it's killing her inside. If the first episode of the season was about the team finding Sara and acting as a group to reach her, this is the episode where she starts to worry she's going to have to let them go, in a way.
Bear with me. I'm not saying she's never going to talk to them anymore, but there's this emotion that washes over you when you realize the people you've seen every day for the last seven years aren't going to be a part of your daily life anymore. Just a few weeks ago, a guy at my workplace left. He's a great guy with a wife and two kids, and he wanted to be with them more, and nobody blamed him. And while we all still stay in contact with him, it's not the same. And as he said his goodbye speech, he teared up, admitting that we'd all still be in touch, but that it wouldn't be the same thing as coming to work everyday, because the people there were his best friends, and he was used to having them in his life daily.
I've only known the man seven months, but I teared up.
Sara's on the outside now, to an extent. She's on a different shift. She's with different people. She just came through one of the most harrowing experiences of her life, and now she's stepping back and taking the brunt of the punishment for her and Gil's involvement. She loves him, and you can see her smiling at him when he looks her way, because she really loves him. You see her smiling at her friends when they wave. This is her family, and she doesn't want them to see her cry, but it's breaking her to feel like an outsider.
Someone else pointed out that she's on the outside "again." It's true, and I believe that's part of her reasoning for wanting ot be the one to switch... This team was together before she came along. She became a part of the team, she integrated, but now she's pulling herself out. And, it breaks your heart. When things like this happen, you start wondering if you were ever part of the team to start with. It's irrational and out of place, but pain will do a lot to the memory, sometimes. You start confusing what's real and what's perceived, and it's heart breaking.
And that's what worries me most for our dear Sara. I don't think she'll fall apart, since it's clear she's still able to laugh and smile, but I do think she's going to be aching for a long time, and I can only hope that she doesn't have to be as alone as she believes herself to be at this moment.
And... I could write a novel on this, so I better stop, but my heart is still breaking.
