not much use for the gay teenage boys is it?!:lol::lol: sorry, i was being flippant. it's pretty sad that that should be the case - it's a real shame that sexual orientation is such a massive issue. gay people have had a really rough time and it's ridiculous - who the hell cares what you like or don't like? like all things sexual it should be down to one person and one person only: you - if you want to do it, do it, if you don't, don't - the amount of pressure put on people (especially young people) is just shocking and really depressing.
OMG! Drinking bleach? :wtf: That's so dangerous! I've heard the moutain dew thing before. In fact my 14 year old cousin said he won't drink MD anymore because he heard it will reduce your sperm count. Why the heck is a 14 year old child worried about low sperm count? :lol: Well pregnant at 19 isn't nearly as bad as pregnant at 14-16. Most 19 year olds are at least out of high school. My issue is that teens who are still in high school getting pregnant on purpose because they think that they can juggle it all. And then when it happens, they complain about how overwhelmed they are and I'm just thinking "tried to tell you so".
^ I agree that 19 isn't really *teenage parents*, my friends sister was 19 when she had her baby and she's got a house, a job, a husband and doesn't reley on her mum and dad for anything more than the occasional baby sitting night. (this may take me a minute to get to the point, sorry) Anyway.. we we're talking at lunch time yesterday about having kids/getting married ect. and my best friend (who like me, is 14) said that if her mum wouldn't kill her she would have a baby now!! She said she knows how hard it would be, but that it would still be just as hard if she waited until she was an adult!! Luckily we managed to talk her out of that one, for now anyway.. but how she got that in her mind i'll never know. We've had all the sex ed' lessons and her family is really open with each and talk about everything, so its not as if she has never had anyone to talk about it with before. (just wanted to say that ^^ wasn't an *i have a friend* excuse, personally.. im not planing on doing the whole marriag and kids thing untill im like 30, already had a quick rant on here a few days ago, so wont repeat myself) x
i think this conservative religious movement about sex could actually be part of the problem. when there is all this "dont have sex until youre married" being put out there, what do you think teens are going to do when you tell them not to do something? and then if all they have been told about safe sex is abstinence they are going to end up pregnant because they dont know how to be safe. and yes, you can be very safe from pregnancy. i do know people who have gotten pregnant on the pill, but they didnt use it properly. "oh noes! i missed my pills 4 days in a row but didnt use a back up, so now i am pregnant!" and there has been quite a movement of campaigns recently because of all the attention on gay marriage. so gay teens are going to feel more confused and ashamed of who they are, and what do straight people do? have sex with the opposite gender. so people are trying to deter teens from sex with this whole purity thing, but in the end it is probably backfiring.
^ oh yeah, exactly! i think i said very similar earlier in the thread - not only is it patently obvious to anyone with a brain cell that telling a teenager not to do something makes that thing far more attractive to them, but it's been proven in statistics that countries/sectors of society with more tolerant and educational attitudes to sex (and drugs and rock'n'roll!) have far lower rates of STIs and pregnancy among teens. kids will have sex, it's what they do, just like they drink, smoke and take drugs - burying your head in the sand and denying they do these things means they do them uneducated and uninformed and end up with nasty consequences. acknowledging these things and allowing kids to do these things with all the right information makes the kids far less likely to do them in an unsafe way. as for the gay thing, i think it (ie certain attitudes to gayness, not gayness itself!) is disgusting - no one chooses to be gay, it's just something you are (or aren't!) and making people feel ashamed/sinful/whatever for something they can't help is just plain nasty. kids/people have enough to worry about without getting unnecessarily depressed/victimised for something they can't even help.
I also belive that we as the western socitity have "confused" falling in love, sex and love. Look at any comerical and you could get the impression that love is sex. We even have the saying: sex is power. Look at "Paradis hotel"- in order to matter - to be important you have to want sex. How does that translate into everydaylife of teenager? Look at Hugh Hefner. We found the cure for old guys to have sex before we found the cure for cancer. So how does teenagers know: what is what? If socilogists are right we find our identity and importance in the relations we have. Not just as lovers or friends but in every aspect. So when your boyfriend tells you ....you don´t love him if you don´t want to have sex with him ......then a lot of girls prove their love by having sex. And if your knowlegde of sex and codoms are limited you get pregant. Some girls make it and have a happy life. Kids with young parents even state: it is good that my mum "gets" me. But you also have a large procent who doesn´t make it. Where they struggle to put their own life together to the extent we as sociaty(?) talk of neglected children. What is the solution? No sex before marriage. ....What if you marry the guy that beats the crap out of you. Is that forever going to be your benchmark for love and sex? Or you marry the guy what got his knowledge from late night tv? wam bam thank you ma´? Is that sex or love???? We are blessed as welleducated nations to keep our teens teens...for a extented periode of time untill they are in their 20´s we do not expect them to be adult and have fixed plans for the next 50 years. But they are often expected to define themself and their values b/s the adults are bussy making a living and adults often fear touching thoose tabu´s. Sex being the major one. Well I am ranting ...Sorry.....
^ yeah i agree with all of that - that whole "you'd do it if you loved me" thing has always really annoyed me - i know so many people who ended up doing stuff they regretted because that ridiculous line was trotted out. the only decent response is "and if you loved me you wouldn't make me do something i wasn't ready for/didn't want to do" - it's a real shame that sex is ridiculously overstated in everything - like you say it seems to be seen as the most important indicator of a person's (and society's) value, which is really sad. as for domestic violence, it's a really sad state of affairs where it's so easy to make the woman (obviously recognising that sometimes dv happens the other way around of course) feel like the guilty party, and yet still managing to blame them for not leaving - it's a very very common attitude and it pisses me off no end! i think that's probably a different rant but there's definitely an element about it of it's better to be with a total bastard than on your own - which is really sad, what does it say about collective self esteem if you have a world full of people who can't stand being alone? obviously being with other people is normal but it's not right that you should be seen as some kind of freak if you are alone (and happy) or that it should be seen as better to be with someone who treats you like shit than to be alone. it's one of my pet hates! also sex before marriage is a weird one - i can see the reasoning behind it but isn't it better to know someone properly before you commit to them for the rest of your life?!! you're right about kids - also there's a massive sexualisation of kids that i think has happened very recently (certainly in my lifetime) - kids (ok, girls, boys never suffered with this so much) can get make up and short skirts and crop tops that make them look like mini popstars, and then there's all this outrage about how paedophilia is on the rise. i'm not a blame assigner, i don't mean that by dressing kids like that you encourage it (because paedophiles will do what they do regardless), but it seems a real shame when kids look like mini adults and as a result become much more aware of things like sex, drugs, alcohol etc at a much younger age. when i was 13 i was still climbing trees and making dens in ditches, but i know a lot of 13 year olds who go out drinking all night at least once a week, smoking and if not having sex then getting very close. it makes me sad - once you hit 21 everything goes downhill fast anyway, kids should make the most of being kids! i'm ranting too... ps - Ajbuckly who said the quote in your signature? i lost faith in both a long time ago, but i like it anyway!
Well, this is really a personal choice that people have to make for themselves. However, You don't have to have sex with someone to know them properly, at least not in my opinion. There are other ways to tell if it's the right person.
:guffaw::guffaw:Now you made me return to this tread despite the fact I was not comming in here at all.... The qoute is from Criminal Minds. Alas the episode nr and name is gone to forgottenland as the characters name. With this tread we have open Pandoras box. As teenagepregnancies is related to belief, sex and parenting which is so emontial related. Let me just state: Your view on sex will define wether or not you aprove sex before marriage IMO; I must stress IMO If like Queen E. you see sex as a duty. Then don´t have sex before marriage. No need to know it could be different. If sex is your main source of pleasure(spelling sorry). Then DVD and Tv offers you endless hours of happiness. You will however forego the emtional side as "having sex" with your tv is cost- ,bonding- and emotionel free. If sex is an added pleasure to your life/relationship. Do you owe it to yourself and your partner to know that you like? I am back at -" if you get a partner that likes to dress up as a baby or get smack S/M -style" . Will you ever be a happy couple? If you watch CSI you know sex comes in many forms and that a lot of people hiding their preferences. Would you like to wake up with someone who goes to others behind your back? Eventhough psycologicists have abonded Erikssons stadies of life. They still acknowlegde that we all have mid-lifecrisis and male midlife crisis´s often involve a younger wife and a motorbike. Go see "American Beaty" you will know what I am talking about. So sex and passing of gens is biologically incoded in humans. BUT the way we express, value and have sex is a personel choice. AND - again IMO feel free to express yours but this is my- as a society we are promoting sex as a trading good(?). As a soicety we watch "Paradise hotel" and so forth. Where sex is the purpose of the show or underlying premise(?)- just watch the adds inbetween -.Most shocking to me: We invented a pill for old guys to have sex before the cure for cancer. You doubt me: tjek the sum of money spend on Viagradevelopment as to the amount spend on breastcancer.:wtf:. I once watch a show with an religious couple that was going to wait until they were married. They didn´t have to watch any mid - night movie or go on "Paradis hotel". They were happy as can be. And let them....But they are NOT the majority of teens. And as you stated they are NOT completly the norm as to religious teens. Indeed-- if you went across country or the world you would saded by the fact that religious teens often use bleach, coathangers or hit themself in the belly(?) in order to abort. As long as we (humans) are different we will have different opions as to why teens get pregant and whether or not we should wait. IMO as an adult I morn the fact that sexturism excists and that women are traded every day in order to please someone. Being a teen is a great age. They are full of hormons and life. They are often full of hope and a lust for living. And adults can´t and/or should not control their teens 100%. But could we and should we start promote other things then just "Dude,Where is my car? " "Zack and Miri make a Porn" or "Paradis hotel"? I need to stress that with my post I am generalizing - I am aware that in the narrative that is our life we all have different stories to tell. Now see that was a rant if ever I saw one:guffaw::guffaw::guffaw:
oh yeah, absolutely - sorry, i was just meaning it's my personal take on it that i'd want to find out about the sex as well as everything else before i ever married someone (not that i ever, ever, ever would). like so many other things it really does all come down to personal choice. it's just so sad that so many people are forced to either not do what's good for them or hide what's good for them because society's so judgemental all the time. each to their own! the only difference with teenagers in these situations is that it's hard to make your own personal choice until you reach maturity (at least legally) - there are so many other factors for teens, hormones, peer pressure, insecurity, trying to find out what you want to do etc (not that these things let up as soon as you hit 20 or something, they're still there but the teenage period can be especially traumatic) so teenagers need a guiding hand - not outright no to everything they want to do, but information and support. i totally agree about the sex-in-everything, the stats on money spent on things are a great example, it's pretty shocking really. the midlife crisis phenomenon just shows how much people value themselves by who they're sleeping with! as for home-abortions, don't even get me started on the whole pro-life movement, it could get very messy. i think teens (and everyone) should definitely watch more thoughtful things than just wacky stoner-sex movies, although those are ok in small doses! i'm glad you think being a teen is a great age in life - i've never met a single person that thought that before!!!
I think when you are in your teens you are so focus on being young and defining who you are. And that is hard work ...just look at the rise in depression in teens and anoxcia(?) and cutting yourself. We as adult should perhaps give the kids some space to enjoy being young instead of forcing them to grown up. I think you said something in an earlier post that rang true.
no worries absolutely - being a teen was always about finding identity and so on but the age at which kids are expected to express their identity seems to be getting lower all the time (at least from what i can see). i think the jumps in anorexia, self harm and so on are due to increased focus on body image, increased pressure of not fitting in or looking a certain way etc. eating disorders were rampant at my school and that was in the early 90s - i knew at least 7 anorexics/bulimics in just my class and the one above (and there were only 150 people in the whole school!). as far as i know there was only one selfharmer (i never bothered asking anyone else) but i bet in a more modern school it'd be far more common. it's just so depressing that everyone's expected to be the same, like the same things, look the same etc - difference should be celebrated! exactly, and also other kids should stop putting pressure on their peers to grow up too fast.
I think it's quite disturbing how many 'babies with babies' there are. I'm sick to death of seeing lots of young girls wandering round with about three kids in tow and they can't be older than 20. Don't even let me start on the benefit system, I agree with child benefit, and the tax credits you can, especially as the tax credits are there to enable parents to go back to work as they get help with childcare. What I don't agree with is the £500 bgrant they get given to them to buy fancy brand new prams and stuff for the baby, it's ridiculous if I were to fall pregnant I'd probably have to purchase all my baby stuff second hand as there is no way I could afford to buy all new, it's so wrong I work so many hours every week and get nothing in return. One young single mum who lives near me (she's 27), her child is of school age, says its no point in her returning to work to get the tax credits etc as then she'll lose her free school meals and doctors prescriptions, it's beyond a joke that the Tax and NI I have to pay should fund these kind of people when I get nothing at all.
Wow. That's just disturbing to me that it actually makes MORE sense to not work and stay on Public Assistance while then the people who work have to subsidize their lifestyle. I have no problem with Public Aid and helping out people in need. I just get irked when the system is set up to perpetuate poverty. It's similar in The States, with the welfare system being somewhat perpetuating. However, the Medicaid system will still provide benefits up to a certain income level. They've made a lot of changes to the system in recent years, some good, some not so good. I think it does somewhat better in providing assistance to families who need it, but there are still a lot of kinks in it. And that's the problem here in The U.S. The people who are impacted by teenage pregnancies the most are the people at the bottom of the pile. The lower middle class and the poor.