Stella and Adam

[Duke]

Re: Stella and.......

I dunno, Adam's always had a major crush on Stella. He may seem fine now with their thing being a one-nighter, but is he really? Will one night with Stella be enough for him? How happy and goofy he was at the crime scene proved he's in deeper than he's leading everyone to believe. I guess we'll find out.

 

[v*a*l*y]

Re: Stella and.......

I don't like the idea of Adam and Stella together
Adam is not the right man for her! :scream:

 

[PerfectAnomaly]

Re: Stella and.......

I completely agree with Fay that if Stella/Adam is bad then Stella/Mac should be too. Stella and Mac may behave like equals at work, but the fact remains he is her boss because he runs the lab. She's his subordinate just like Adam is her subordinate. To say one relationship is OK when the other isn't is applying a double standard/being hypocritical.

 

[FieryRed]

Re: Stella and.......

I completely agree with Fay that if Stella/Adam is bad then Stella/Mac should be too. Stella and Mac may behave like equals at work, but the fact remains he is her boss because he runs the lab. She's his subordinate just like Adam is her subordinate. To say one relationship is OK when the other isn't is applying a double standard/being hypocritical.

PA I think is not quite the same. Without wanting to be hypocritical because I am SMAC fun, I believe is not the same. Because both Stella and Mac are in the "management team". So, I see it somewhat different.

 

[PerfectAnomaly]

Re: Stella and.......

I completely agree with Fay that if Stella/Adam is bad then Stella/Mac should be too. Stella and Mac may behave like equals at work, but the fact remains he is her boss because he runs the lab. She's his subordinate just like Adam is her subordinate. To say one relationship is OK when the other isn't is applying a double standard/being hypocritical.

PA I think is not quite the same. Without wanting to be hypocritical because I am SMAC fun, I believe is not the same. Because both Stella and Mac are in the "management team". So, I see it somewhat different.

They may both be part of the "management team," but at the end of the day Mac is still Stella's boss the exact same way Stella is Adam's boss. Actually, I don't think Stella has the power to hire and fire people so Mac is much more "the boss" of Stella than Stella is of Adam.

 

[Cath]

Re: Stella and.......

I completely agree with Fay that if Stella/Adam is bad then Stella/Mac should be too. Stella and Mac may behave like equals at work, but the fact remains he is her boss because he runs the lab. She's his subordinate just like Adam is her subordinate. To say one relationship is OK when the other isn't is applying a double standard/being hypocritical.

If you're talking about my stance on the subject, then you've mistaken my opinion of boss/subordinate relationships: I've never been against Adam/Stella on those grounds alone.

I'm saying that from what we know so far, it looks like Stella has taken advantage of Adam's crush on her to make herself feel better and if Adam ends up having trouble letting go of their one night stand more than she does, it's gonna create some problems for Stella from a boss/subordinate standpoint in the workplace (because a boss is ultimately held responsible of the relationships he/she engages with his/her subordinates) and those are problems she could have easily avoided by not getting with someone who's emotionally vulnerable and so obviously not on the same emotional page as her.

And do you want to know what else? I'm betting that this will also end up hurting Adam professionally if information of this fling reaches the new girl who coincidentally happens to be vying for his job.

So what's my stance on boss/subordinate relationships? If they're not serious and you're not on the same emotional page, don't bother playing with fire.

 

[FieryRed]

Re: Stella and.......

And do you want to know what else? I'm betting that this will also end up hurting Adam professionally if information of this fling reaches the new girl who coincidentally happens to be vying for his job.

So what's my stance on boss/subordinate relationships? If they're not serious and you're not on the same emotional page, don't bother playing with fire.

I couldn't agree more. New girl is after Adam's job. The Adam/Stella thing could cause problem there is word comes out.
Bad Bad idea Stella/Adam... It will hurt both and give TPTB perfect chance for drama....

 

[PerfectAnomaly]

Re: Stella and.......

I completely agree with Fay that if Stella/Adam is bad then Stella/Mac should be too. Stella and Mac may behave like equals at work, but the fact remains he is her boss because he runs the lab. She's his subordinate just like Adam is her subordinate. To say one relationship is OK when the other isn't is applying a double standard/being hypocritical.

If you're talking about my stance on the subject, then you've mistaken my opinion of boss/subordinate relationships: I've never been against Adam/Stella on those grounds alone.

Did I mention you specifically? No. There are multiple people who are using the argument that Stella/Adam is a bad idea based on their inequality of positions at work. Mac/Stella have that same inequality.

I'm saying that from what we know so far, it looks like Stella has taken advantage of Adam's crush on her to make herself feel better

Where did you make the leap that Stella has taken advantage of Adam? There's no indication one way or the other about that.

and if Adam ends up having trouble letting go of their one night stand more than she does, it's gonna create some problems for Stella from a boss/subordinate standpoint in the workplace (because a boss is ultimately held responsible of the relationships he/she engages with his/her subordinates) and those are problems she could have easily avoided by not getting with someone who's emotionally vulnerable and so obviously not on the same emotional page as her.

And if Stella had gotten involved with Mac and it didn't work out those same exact things could also come into play. Stella was emotionally vulnerable because of the shooting so I don't think you can say Adam was more or less emotionally vulnerable at this point.

And do you want to know what else? I'm betting that this will also end up hurting Adam professionally if information of this fling reaches the new girl who coincidentally happens to be vying for his job.

That could be, but that has the potential of happening with any work relationship where there is an inbalance of power. If someone was vying for Stella's job and she was involved with Mac the same thing could happen.

So what's my stance on boss/subordinate relationships? If they're not serious and you're not on the same emotional page, don't bother playing with fire.

It could easily be said that if they are serious and the parties involved were at one time on the same emotional page it would be worse when it ends. Either way getting involved with a boss/subordinate is playing with fire.

 

[Faylinn]

Re: Stella and.......

Stella was emotionally vulnerable because of the shooting so I don't think you can say Adam was more or less emotionally vulnerable at this point.

It could be argued that Stella was more emotionally vulnerable when it comes to them sleeping together because Adam already had a crush on her, whereas her participation in a relationship with him seems to come out of nowhere. If Adam has a crush on her and 'flirts' the way he has in the past, and she responds to that because of what happened, that shows her to be vulnerable. Her being the boss or the one in charge or the 'mature' one doesn't preclude her being the more emotionally vulnerable of the pair in this situation.

 

[FieryRed]

Re: Stella and.......

It could be argued that Stella was more emotionally vulnerable when it comes to them sleeping together because Adam already had a crush on her, whereas her participation in a relationship with him seems to come out of nowhere. If Adam has a crush on her and 'flirts' the way he has in the past, and she responds to that because of what happened, that shows her to be vulnerable. Her being the boss or the one in charge or the 'mature' one doesn't preclude her being the more emotionally vulnerable of the pair in this situation.

For me there is nothing to be gained by the relationship.
Adam is in love clearly, Stella was vulnerable
both are overwelmed with emotion result: Mutual agreement of their mistake.
And Deep down in their heart and mind if think the "What-have-I-done rules".
By the way I don;t know who took advantage of whome. Her being in emotional state or Adam being in love and in the right place the right time? Eitherway, I like both but not together...

 

[Curiosity]

Re: Stella and.......

As I said elsewhere, I think Mac/Stella and Stella/Adam are both similar types of supervisor/subordinate relationships.

In fairness to Cath's comments above, though, I thought she was responding initially to the comment that Mac and Stella together was somehow worse than Stella/Adam.

As I said above, I think they're similar in terms of the positional relationships but different in other areas such as how they relate to each other.

 

[Cath]

Re: Stella and.......

Did I mention you specifically? No. There are multiple people who are using the argument that Stella/Adam is a bad idea based on their inequality of positions at work. Mac/Stella have that same inequality.

My mistake: since you brought up the argument on this thread, I thought it was because of something I argued.

Where did you make the leap that Stella has taken advantage of Adam? There's no indication one way or the other about that.

That's not what I said. Stella did not take advantage of Adam since their fling was consensual. She rather took advantage of his crush on her to have this fling. Anyone with two eyes can see that Adam is more smitten than Stella and that is a garantee that it will eventually impact their working together and create unnecessary problems. I cannot buy the argument that Stella did not get into this with eyes open.

And if Stella had gotten involved with Mac and it didn't work out those same exact things could also come into play. Stella was emotionally vulnerable because of the shooting so I don't think you can say Adam was more or less emotionally vulnerable at this point.

Yes I can. Adam has been emotionally vulnerable where Stella is concerned way before the shooting happened so both of them right away are not approaching this fling from the same POV. It might be easy for Stella to tell Adam that it will never happen again but what about Adam? He kinda backtracked into agreeing with her when Stella spoke her mind.

It could easily be said that if they are serious and the parties involved were at one time on the same emotional page it would be worse when it ends. Either way getting involved with a boss/subordinate is playing with fire.

You're speaking in hypotheticals here: that's like saying people who are getting married are playing with fire because 50% of marriages end in divorce. People on the same emotional page when they make a commitment to one another are not actively looking for trouble: people in a relationship where they know one cares more than the other are.

 

[PerfectAnomaly]

Re: Stella and.......

Where did you make the leap that Stella has taken advantage of Adam? There's no indication one way or the other about that.

That's not what I said. Stella did not take advantage of Adam since their fling was consensual. She rather took advantage of his crush on her to have this fling. Anyone with two eyes can see that Adam is more smitten than Stella and that is a garantee that it will eventually impact their working together and create unnecessary problems. I cannot buy the argument that Stella did not get into this with eyes open.

Um. You did say you think Stella took advantage of Adam and you just said it again. And I can't buy the argument that Adam didn't get intio it with his eyes open either. Yeah, he had a crush on her, but the man is an adult and not a love struck teenager. And Stella was dealing with the trauma of the shooting. Unless this story plays out more we can't say one way or the other if anyone got into it with or without their eyes open.

And if Stella had gotten involved with Mac and it didn't work out those same exact things could also come into play. Stella was emotionally vulnerable because of the shooting so I don't think you can say Adam was more or less emotionally vulnerable at this point.

Yes I can. Adam has been emotionally vulnerable where Stella is concerned way before the shooting happened so both of them right away are not approaching this fling from the same POV. It might be easy for Stella to tell Adam that it will never happen again but what about Adam? He kinda backtracked into agreeing with her when Stella spoke her mind.

Having a crush on Stella doesn't automatically mean he didn't approach it differently than Stella. You can have a crush on someone and sleep with them and still be very aware that it won't lead to more. Again, he's not stupid or a love struck teenager. And he didn't "backtrack" when he agreed with her. We can assume he may be more invested than Stella, but until we see concrete proof of that it is only an assumption.

It could easily be said that if they are serious and the parties involved were at one time on the same emotional page it would be worse when it ends. Either way getting involved with a boss/subordinate is playing with fire.

You're speaking in hypotheticals here: that's like saying people who are getting married are playing with fire because 50% of marriages end in divorce. People on the same emotional page when they make a commitment to one another are not actively looking for trouble: people in a relationship where they know one cares more than the other are.

And again, we don't yet know how this is going to play out so saying that Adam and Stella are "playing with fire" is speaking in hypotheticals too. You can't make these huge leaps based on a couple of scenes where Adam flirted with Stella and one scene after they slept together. I don't think anyone is "looking for trouble" when they enter a relationship even if it's a casual one. And even if Adam is more invested than Stella he didn't show any hint of pursuing it further or causing problems for Stella at work. The fact remains that whether it's casual, serious or one party isn't on the same page as the other, there are some of the same potential problems, a co-worker finding out and using it against them or one of them getting fired for examples, so any relationship between a boss/subordinate is "playing with fire."

 

[Cath]

Re: Stella and.......

Um. You did say you think Stella took advantage of Adam and you just said it again. And I can't buy the argument that Adam didn't get intio it with his eyes open either. Yeah, he had a crush on her, but the man is an adult and not a love struck teenager. And Stella was dealing with the trauma of the shooting. Unless this story plays out more we can't say one way or the other if anyone got into it with or without their eyes open.

Taking advantage of someone and taking advantage of their feelings are two completely separate things, equally wrong in their own rights. What I said was that Stella took advantage of Adam's feelings, no more no less than that. Yeah, Stella is dealing with the trauma of the shooting, but so is Adam and that still makes him the more vulnerable one because he's had that crush way before the shooting happened and you think that even an adult wouldn't jump at the chance to start something with their crush? Adult or teenager, you can enter into something with all the open eyes and the best intentions of the world but the truth is that you can still get in over your head in those irrational matters of the heart. Stella, being the less enamoured of the two, trauma or no trauma from the shooting, should have considered what door she was opening, especially when there are complications that can arise from it in the workplace.

And he didn't "backtrack" when he agreed with her. We can assume he may be more invested than Stella, but until we see concrete proof of that it is only an assumption.

True enough, but the tell tale signs are there: he practically chased after her with a smile plastered on his face like he was going to ask her for seconds before she spoke her mind.

And again, we don't yet know how this is going to play out so saying that Adam and Stella are "playing with fire" is speaking in hypotheticals too. You can't make these huge leaps based on a couple of scenes where Adam flirted with Stella and one scene after they slept together. I don't think anyone is "looking for trouble" when they enter a relationship even if it's a casual one.

All we have as canon to follow these characters and know who they are is what they show and tell us onscreen otherwise it's just shitty fiction with shitty plotholes.

I never said that anyone is looking for trouble when they enter into a casual relationship. I said that they're looking for trouble when they enter into a casual relationship with someone who they know is more smitten than they are themselves: that's having a form of power over someone and using it against them for selfish means.

And the fact remains that whether it's casual, serious or one party isn't on the same page as the other, there are some of the same potential problems, a co-worker finding out and using it against them or one of them getting fired for examples, so any relationship between a boss/subordinate is "playing with fire."

The potential problems of a boss/subordinate relationship are indeed the same, but really, is a casual fling, and worse, one which is on an unequal emotional footing, as much worth risking your job for as a serious relationship? No it's not, therefore, you're more dangerously playing with fire by seeking out the former kind of relationship than the latter.

 

[PerfectAnomaly]

Re: Stella and.......

Taking advantage of a person's feelings for you IS taking advantage of the person. You can't take advantage of a person and NOT take advantage of their feelings and vice versa. That makes no sense to me.

Once again, we have nothing but speculation to go on when saying Adam and Stella are not on equal emotional footing. Adam could very well have jumped at the chance to sleep with "his crush," but that doesn't automatically equate to him getting in over his head or having expectations that Stella doesn't, so you can't say at this point that Adam is more vulnerable than Stella. There's no proof one way or the other.

And yeah, Adam had a smile on his face when he called for her in the hallway, but again you're making a huge assumption based on one look. Just like it's a huge assumption to think Stella slept with Adam for selfish reasons. The potential is there, but the potential would be there for Mac/Stella too because it's a boss/subordinate relationship and Mac has more power in the relationship than Stella does.

And if your job means the world to you even a serious relationship with a boss/subordinate might not be worth risking your job. The potential for things to go very wrong is still there and in my book playing with fire is playing with fire. Casual or serious, a relationship with a boss/subordinate has too much potential to go wrong in too many ways.