I was going to post this in the spoiler thread, but it wasn't entirely appropriate for it, so I made another thread. The squee and speculation over the hidden meanings behind the S4 promo pic got me thinking: what don't you want to see? What storyline would send you running for the exit, barf bag in one hand, remote in the other?
I'll launch the opening kickoff.
There's been much speculation on TalkCSI about the hidden meanings of the CSI:NY S4 promo pic. Flack is holding a gun in a towel while Hawkes shines his flashlight on it. Some fen have speculated that this could mean Flack is involved in a coverup. I have no doubt that Eddie Cahill could and would knock such a meaty storyline out of the park, but I hope this never happens. Why? Oh, let me count the reasons:
1-Much of CSI:NY's meat turns out to be tofu. We've seen it happen again and again. TPTB invent the fabulous beginnings of a storyline, with tons of drama and "Oh, NOEZ" suspense. Danny shoots a cop. Danny has a shady brother. Danny's brother gets turned to oatmeal. Flack gets blown up. Flack has to deal with the reality of dirty cops. Stella is exposed to HIV. Stella's DNA turns up at an old Philly crime scene. All rife with juicy possibility for angst and major character development. And what happens?
They fizzle. Each and every damn one. They spend maximum effort on buildup for minimum payoff. It's like being on the cusp of a monumental orgasm, only to have your partner-or plastic friend-shift and ruin the whole rhythm. Danny's shady brother remains in limbo, Flack is A-OK after having his intestines exposed, and Stella is HIV-free because the writers can't be arsed with that level of continuity.
But the worst case of big-buildup, no bang was Lindsay's Deep, Dark Secret. They contort her character from smarmy, independent, and capable to a wilting flower whiny emo kid to accommodate the storyline, and then they never give us the story, just a half-assed patchwork of soap opera cliches. The fact that Lindsay was the only survivor of a diner massacre was secondary to engineering the smoldering passion of her and Danny's Tru Wub. The problem is that the Tru Wub is a wet blanket of lackluster acting that diverts attention from more deserving actors and backstories. Danny went out of his way to mention that Hawkes was taking extra shifts because of money problems in S3. Was this ever addressed again? No. They had more important things to address, like bad sex on a pool table.
2-I have zero faith that TPTB could successfully execute a Flack coverup. They're to unwilling to follow things to their natural conclusions. If Flack committed a coverup and were discovered, he would have to be fired and arrested, and I doubt TPTB are open to losing such a dynamic character. They'd inevitably hatch some cockamamie reason why he shouldn't be fired, and after an episode, everyone would embrace him. Flack is too good a character to be so mishandled, and I'd rather see him underused than misused.
3-Besides, you know how it would go. Flack would discover that Miss Plastic Happy Tits is the bankroll for the Irish druglords from "Snow Day." Because he's thinking with his other white meat, he conceals this knowledge. Because of his concealment, an innocent dies. Wracked with guilt, Flack eventually confesses to Mac, who delivers a lecture about the Integrity of the Job. You know, because the sermonizing after "Consequences" didn't take. Flack is suitably stricken, and by S5, everything is hunky dory.
Now, I could get behind a storyline wherein Flack discovers his father was dirty and tries to bury that, but even that's problematic as to resolution. At least that would have a deeper, more understandable motivation than "OMG, my Barbie doll is Teh Eefil, WOE."
Which is why it will never happen.
I'll launch the opening kickoff.
There's been much speculation on TalkCSI about the hidden meanings of the CSI:NY S4 promo pic. Flack is holding a gun in a towel while Hawkes shines his flashlight on it. Some fen have speculated that this could mean Flack is involved in a coverup. I have no doubt that Eddie Cahill could and would knock such a meaty storyline out of the park, but I hope this never happens. Why? Oh, let me count the reasons:
1-Much of CSI:NY's meat turns out to be tofu. We've seen it happen again and again. TPTB invent the fabulous beginnings of a storyline, with tons of drama and "Oh, NOEZ" suspense. Danny shoots a cop. Danny has a shady brother. Danny's brother gets turned to oatmeal. Flack gets blown up. Flack has to deal with the reality of dirty cops. Stella is exposed to HIV. Stella's DNA turns up at an old Philly crime scene. All rife with juicy possibility for angst and major character development. And what happens?
They fizzle. Each and every damn one. They spend maximum effort on buildup for minimum payoff. It's like being on the cusp of a monumental orgasm, only to have your partner-or plastic friend-shift and ruin the whole rhythm. Danny's shady brother remains in limbo, Flack is A-OK after having his intestines exposed, and Stella is HIV-free because the writers can't be arsed with that level of continuity.
But the worst case of big-buildup, no bang was Lindsay's Deep, Dark Secret. They contort her character from smarmy, independent, and capable to a wilting flower whiny emo kid to accommodate the storyline, and then they never give us the story, just a half-assed patchwork of soap opera cliches. The fact that Lindsay was the only survivor of a diner massacre was secondary to engineering the smoldering passion of her and Danny's Tru Wub. The problem is that the Tru Wub is a wet blanket of lackluster acting that diverts attention from more deserving actors and backstories. Danny went out of his way to mention that Hawkes was taking extra shifts because of money problems in S3. Was this ever addressed again? No. They had more important things to address, like bad sex on a pool table.
2-I have zero faith that TPTB could successfully execute a Flack coverup. They're to unwilling to follow things to their natural conclusions. If Flack committed a coverup and were discovered, he would have to be fired and arrested, and I doubt TPTB are open to losing such a dynamic character. They'd inevitably hatch some cockamamie reason why he shouldn't be fired, and after an episode, everyone would embrace him. Flack is too good a character to be so mishandled, and I'd rather see him underused than misused.
3-Besides, you know how it would go. Flack would discover that Miss Plastic Happy Tits is the bankroll for the Irish druglords from "Snow Day." Because he's thinking with his other white meat, he conceals this knowledge. Because of his concealment, an innocent dies. Wracked with guilt, Flack eventually confesses to Mac, who delivers a lecture about the Integrity of the Job. You know, because the sermonizing after "Consequences" didn't take. Flack is suitably stricken, and by S5, everything is hunky dory.
Now, I could get behind a storyline wherein Flack discovers his father was dirty and tries to bury that, but even that's problematic as to resolution. At least that would have a deeper, more understandable motivation than "OMG, my Barbie doll is Teh Eefil, WOE."
Which is why it will never happen.
Give Stella somebody normal, damnit. Melina is definitely able to pull off regular, everyday life with a regular joe and make it interesting!
