Any and every moment with Hodges is great but my favorites are...
__________
HODGES: The green powder on your vic's dress is open-celled phenolic foam,
holds more than forty times its weight in water. Reminds me of this girl I knew
in college--
GRISSOM: (interrupts) I don't need to hear about that.
_____
(Catherine walks through the hallway and into Trace. She puts a cup on the
table.)
HODGES: Oh, thank you, but there's no drinking or eating allowed in the lab.
CATHERINE: It's a urine sample.
HODGES: My bad.
CATHERINE: Get it to Tox. And ... (She gives Hodges the tampon.) Check this
for spermicide. Call me with the results.
(Hodges looks at the tampon.)
HODGES: Did you run out of proper swabs?
_____
(Hodges cuts the oven mitt open for Warrick.)
HODGES: I perfected my butterfly technique on chicken breasts. I sauté them in
a chardonnay reduction with herbes de provence. Drives women wild. (beat)
Well, mom. Now say the magic words.
WARRICK: "Shut up, Hodges"?
HODGES: No. "Open sesame."
_____
GREG: Hey, got some gasoline samples for you.
HODGES: Thanks, Greg. It's gonna take a little while to fill my tank. Why
don't I get you a funnel?
____
HODGES: I almost keyed a car once.
NICK: You what?
HODGES: I know, but, in the end, I couldn't go through with it. So I peed on
the door handles instead.
NICK: So they'd freeze up and can't get them open?
HODGES: No. It was San Diego.
NICK: Over a girl?
HODGES: Over a "B." Professor gave me one on my term paper. I felt I deserved
an "A".
_____
HODGES: Know what makes human bones glow in the dark?
GREG: Love?
HODGES: Tetracycline.
(Greg is reaching under the car seat and pulls out a revolver. He looks at it.
Hodges looks over his shoulder.)
GREG: You want to help me with a little experiment?
HODGES: Sure.
(Hodges goes to the counter to put on a pair of gloves. Greg gets out and goes
to the front of the car.)
GREG: Grab that evidence bag?
(Hodges walks over to Greg.)
GREG: Okay, let me see that.
(Hodges takes the hood ornament out of the bag and gives it to Greg. Greg gives
Hodges the hood ornament he’s carrying.)
GREG: Take this.
(Greg tries the hood ornament on the hood. It doesn’t match.)
GREG: No go.
(He swaps ornaments with Hodges and tries it on the hood. Hodges watches
intently. It matches.)
GREG: Okay. Looks like a match to me.
HODGES: This is your experiment?
GREG: Actually, it is. Thanks.
_____
(Grissom opens the present and finds a WILLIAMS sweatshirt inside. Hodges
stands in front of the desk and grins as Grissom takes the sweatshirt out of
the box.)
GRISSOM: How did you know about this?
HODGES: I saw an approved leave of absence form on Ecklie's desk. Don't worry,
I didn't say anything to anyone else. Did you think that you were going to
teach at my alma mater in the dead of winter without warm clothes?
GRISSOM: I thought you went to college in San Diego.
HODGES: Graduate school. Undergraduate was all about the Bay State. Crazy
times, my friend, crazy times. Those Hampshire girls down in Amherst? Insane.
GRISSOM: Thank you.
HODGES: You're welcome.
(Grissom sets the sweatshirt and box to the side. Hodges sits down in the
chair.)
HODGES: What are you teaching?
GRISSOM: The seasonal fluctuations in observed behaviors of the Walden Pond
swamp mosquito.
HODGES: Excellent. Yeah, I don't know what college was like for you, but for
me it was a new beginning, a chance to reinvent myself. For the first time in
my life, I felt like I fit in. Not like now. I mean ... you and I are close,
but sometimes I just don't think the others get me.
(Catherine knocks on the door.)
CATHERINE: You got a second?
HODGES: He's kind of busy.
(Grissom and Catherine both look at Hodges. Hodges gets to his feet.)
HODGES: Oh. When you get a chance, hit the Purple Pint. Ask for Cookie. Tell
her Davey Hodges sent you. Drinks'll be on the house.
GRISSOM: Crazy times.
HODGES: Yeah.
(Hodges leaves the office.)
_____
HODGES: (o.s.) You rang?
(Hodges walks into the lab.)
NICK: Yeah, I think I need a hand here, Hodges.
HODGES: Well, what is this?
NICK: It's from an '89 Jane Doe. I'm looking for anything that will help us
out.
HODGES: Those look like rat droppings.
NICK: That's because they are rat droppings, man.
HODGES: Are you familiar with the hantavirus? Carried by rodents, transmitted
to humans when they inhale vapors from contaminated urine, saliva or feces.
That crap will kill you.
NICK: (interrupts) Hodges ... glove up.
(Hodges sticks his gloved hands in the mess.)
HODGES: If I start leaking blood from my eyeballs, I'm blaming you.
There's tons more that I can think of.