Road Trip - CSI:Miami - "Crazy Eights"

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Off topic: Actually, that Speed is the servant to Valentine, one of the gentlemen that the play is named after.

On topic: Can't wait to see what's in store for the gang in the next update, but don't rush yourself. We wouldn't want you typing with cramped fingers.
 
Thanks everyone for waiting so patiently. :)

***********

Outside, forest, 10pm

Jess: *running* Where is it!

Delko: I don't know!

Jess: Shoot it!

Delko: I don't know where it is!

Jess: It's going to get us!

Delko: No it's not!

Jess: How do you know!

Delko: I don't know!

Carly: Why are we running!

Colton: And yelling!

Delko: Wubba monster!

Katie: *screaming*

Jess: I can't believe we're falling for this again!

Delko: Hey Jess, watch ou-

Jess: AH! *bangs into two trees*

Delko: ....

Carly: Ouch.

Katie: *starts laughing*

Calleigh: Oh my.

Colton: That's a dilly of a pickle. I could go for some pickles.

Jess: I'M STUCK BETWEEN TWO TREES! MY GAZONGAS!

Delko: Now don't worry honey, we'll get you out.

Jess: YOU DID THIS! IT'S YOUR FAULT!

Delko: Hey I'm not the one with the double D's.

Jess: *sigh* At least my epitaph will be colourful and amusing.

Katie: Nah we'll get you out. *grabs large stick* Okay suck in your gut and cross your legs and close your eyes.

Jess: What is that going to do?

Katie: I don't know I was just giving some helpful suggestions. *jams stick between Jess and tree*

Jess: *screams*

Katie: Whoops.

Delko: *grabs stick* Stop hurting her.

Katie: Hey I have the right to hurt her. She got herself stuck between a tree. No one does that.

Jess: Hey don't discriminate.

Katie: Against what? People with large breasts?

Jess: Yeah.

Katie: Well excuse me I'm not up to your level.

Jess: You want to get stuck next? Because I'll throw you in here when I get out.

Katie: Yeah well I'll just end up falling.

Delko: Okay, let's knock it off and get Jess out before it gets too dark to see. Jess, can you move?

Jess: If I could move, I'd be out of here already.

Delko: Maybe you should think about surgery.

Jess: *kicks Delko*

Delko: OW!

Calleigh: I have an idea. Let's chop down the trees.

Delko: ...Chop down the trees.

Calleigh: Yeah.

Delko: We can't just chop down a tree. We don't even have an axe.

Colton: Ask Speed, he has a lot.

Katie: *slaps Colton*

Colton: Ow.

Ryan: *runs over* Hey I came over as fast as I could.

Colton: You're still here?

Ryan: Horatio invited me along.

Colton: *narrows eyes* Not enough room for us both I'm afraid.

Ryan: Sure there is. I'm a small guy.

Colton: *punches Ryan*

Ryan: OW! Calleigh he hit me.

Calleigh: Stop beating each other up. We have to get Jess out.

Ryan: And what was this noise I was hearing on the way over? It sounded like a large growl.

Delko: What do you mean a large growl?

Ryan: Well it's nothing an animal or human could make.

Delko: 0_0

Ryan: ...What.

Delko: WUBBA MONSTER! *runs into the woods screaming*

Jess: Way to go.

Ryan: Oh....My bad, it was my stomach.

Calleigh: Okay Jess, we'll get you out.

Jess: I don't trust you guys to get me out. Everytime you try, I get even more stuck.

Katie: Ah come on, it'll be fun. You can see a whole bunch of spots and different colours.

Jess: *frowns*

Katie: *grabs stick*

Jess: Do not use the stick.

Katie: ....*drops stick*

Ryan: I have an idea. Why don't we just pull her out?

Calleigh: That's been done.

Jess: THERE'S A BUG IN MY HAIR SOMEONE GET IT OUT!

Katie: *slaps Jess in the head*

Jess: OW!

Katie: Hey I got it out.

Jess: You didn't have to beat it out.

Hummeerhome

Horatio: Where did JC and Missy go?

Speed: They went to an outhouse. Apparently the toilet here is 'gross'.

Horatio: ...Did we not fix it?

Speed: No.

Horatio: Where's Megan?

Speed: She's their designated walker. They keep getting lost so she's taking care of them.

Horatio: A lot of people in this Hummerhome.

Speed: Yeah.

Horatio: When we first started out with this, there was only the four of us.

Speed: Yeah and it was less chaotic.

Horatio: That's for sure. Where's Anni?

Speed: She must have went with JC and Missy.

Horatio: *nods* You two seem pretty happy.

Speed: We are.

Horatio: It's my understanding that you were with Katie when we came to get her.

Speed: Anni was there too. We visited her.

Horatio: Who got there first?

Speed: ...I know what you're thinking and you're wrong.

Horatio: Am I.

Speed: Yeah.

Horatio: What am I thinking?

Speed: You think I went there to cheat on Anni.

Horatio: No, that's not what I think. I know you love Anni, but you also love Katie and this isn't going to go away.

Speed: Great, so now you're lecturing me too.

Horatio: I've been asking myself why you keep holding onto her, despite the fact that you've already gotten re-married and it's a happy marriage.

Speed: It's not really any of your business.

Horatio: Anni doesn't want a family, you do.

Speed: What's your point.

Horatio: Katie was able to give you that.

Speed: Yes, she was. And that's only half the reason. I feel responsible for her.

Horatio: Why is that?

Speed: I don't know. But I have to protect her.

Horatio: That's why you bought her the drugs.

Speed: *stares at Horatio*

Horatio: Nothing in my lab gets past me.

Speed: *nods*

Horatio: Speed, if we feel responsible for everyone else, the responsibility for ourselves is lost.

Speed: Is that supposed to get me to stop caring for her?

Horatio: No. I'm just letting you know that this could make life difficult for you. And your wife.

Speed: Thanks for the advice.

Horatio: Just out of curiosity, are you still going to those therapy sessions that the lab provided?

Speed: Yes.

Horatio: Good. Your anger's been under control.

Speed: Yeah.

Horatio: Did they talk to you about Lori?

Speed: *frowns*

Horatio: I realize it's privelaged discussion, but if you wouldn't mind...

Speed: I do mind.

Horatio: Alright that's fine. I was just curious to know how things are going with it.

Speed: Things are fine.

Horatio: So you've learned to deal with your anger.

Speed: If your daughter was slaughtered and you were five minutes too late, would you be angry?

Horatio: That was not your fault.

Speed: It was my fault, I was her father and I couldn't protect her.

Horatio: So now you're protecting Katie instead. You think it'll redeem you?

Speed: I don't have to listen to this.

Horatio: It's been a long time since she died, Speed.

Speed: Yeah and when your brother 'died' I'm sure you were a ray of sunshine and rainbows two years after. Don't give advice if you're not going to take it yourself. *leaves, slams door*

TBC.............
 
great catching up on them roadtrip, so much going on. I love the love triangle between, Speed/Anni/Katie, great writing Geni! keep it up. :D
 
Thanks calleighspeedle. :D

*************

Outside, 10:30pm, ravine

Speed: *places hands in pockets*

Anni: *walks over* Hey, Horatio said you were down here.

Speed: Yeah.

Anni: Something up?

Speed: I was just thinking.

Anni: About what?

Speed: Yeah hold on the fact that I'm thinking is a miracle all in itself.

Anni: *smirks*

Speed: To tell you the truth, I don't know what I'm thinking about.

Anni: H said you were pretty mad when you left.

Speed: Not at him.

Anni: At whom?

Speed: Myself.

Anni: Why?

Speed: It's not important.

Anni: You're important.

Speed: *shakes head*

Anni: Tim, I think the only way for you to let all of this go, is to move on.

Speed: You know how many people have told me that? No offense but what you just said isn't the biggest revelation.

Anni: *smiles* None taken. I live on the obvious side of life.

Speed: Yeah.

Anni: You know what was the most fun about our relationship? Investigating a case in a lingerie shop.

Speed: *laughs* Yeah making an ass out of myself in front of you must have been impressive.

Anni: I thought it was cute when you fell over the rack of...Racks.

Speed: Funny.

Anni: My point is, there's a good side to life no matter where you turn. Sulking's just going to make you wrinkle.

Speed: I'm not wrinkling.

Anni: Have ya looked in a mirror?

Speed: *frowns*

Anni: *laughs* I'm kidding. Man, you have no sense of humour. Hey we can be like Bonnie and Clyde!

Speed: What are you talking about?

Anni: Can you imagine the adventures if we went on our own road trip trying to escape the law!

Speed: Okay what law did you break?

Anni: Well nothin' yet. We should just have some fun together - And I don't mean like that.

Speed: I didn't say anything.

Anni: Hey OH! Let's go see the biggest ball of string.

Speed: Why, you want to start knitting?

Anni: *narrows eyes* Yeah HA. HA. *slaps Speed*

Speed: *rolls eyes*

Anni: I'm trying to cheer you up.

Speed: I don't need to be cheered up.

Anni: Yeah you do.

Speed: No I don't.

Anni: Take a page from my book. Don't care about anything in the world except the moment you're in.

Speed: Well the moment sucks.

Anni: *places hands on hips* I have much work to do with you young man.

Speed: Oh what happened to the wrinkles?

Anni: You can't see them in the dark.

Speed: Very funny.

Anni: How about we go get a buger.

Speed: ....In the middle of the woods.

Anni: Alright fine, we'll eat dirt.

Speed: Wait, why did I marry you again?

Anni: *laughs* Now that's funny.

Speed: Oh really.

Anni: *jumps on Speed's back* HA!

Speed: AH!

Anni: Haha, did you know HA is the opposite of AH?

Speed: *drops Anni*

Anni: AH! *rolls down ravine*

Speed: *start to laugh*

Anni: *sitting in water* Oh you...You...You....HA! See? I made you laugh. I'm full of mud and I smell like a sewer but it was worth it.

Speed: *walks down ravine*

Anni: What are you doing?

Speed: Well I can't leave you in the mud by yourself.

Anni: *smiling* How sweet.

Speed: *grabs Anni's hand*

Anni: *pulls Speed into mud* HAHA!

Speed: AH! *falls over*

Anni: Muaha. I am the master of mud.

Speed: *wipes mud from face* Cute.

Anni: You know who you remind me of? Bigfoot.

Speed: *throws mud at Anni*

Anni: *laughing*

Speed: So that would make you Bigfoot's wife.

Anni: Yes but I have considerably smaller feet.

Speed: Right.

Anni: *stands* Alright cowboy, how do we get out of here?

Speed: Start climbing.

Anni: You won't give me a boost?

Speed: Eric already tried that with me and it didn't work.

Anni: Well you climb up and then pull me.

Speed: Fine.

Anni: Oh but I have a question first.

Speed: What.

Anni: Do you like kids?

Speed: What the hell kind of question is that?

Anni: Well you always say you hate them.

Speed: I hate other people's kids.

Anni: Oh good. Okay climb.

Speed: *lifts brow*

Anni: Fine, I'll climb. *climbs onto dirt*

Speed: *pulls Anni back down* Hold on.

Anni: Um I'm trying to climb here.

Speed: What's with the question?

Anni: I was just curious. Oh I have another question. How much money do we have?

Speed: None, why?

Anni: Damnit because I don't want to live in our crappy apartment. I want a house. And I want one of those white picture fences or something.

Speed: Picket fence?

Anni: *snaps* That's the one. And let's not live in Coconut Grove, I don't want our kid being killed.

Speed: *staring at Anni* What kid.

Anni: The one we're going to have in seven months.

Speed: *stares blankly*

Anni: THAT'S what I was supposed to tell you! Ah man things always slip my mind. *climbs up over ravine*

Path to Hummerhome

Speed: *runs over* Okay what just happened?

Anni: I told I was pregnant and you stood there like you forgot what english was.

Speed: *stops walking*

Anni: And now you forgot how to walk.

Speed: *staring at Anni*

Anni: What?

Speed: If you're joking, that's cruel.

Anni: Believe me I wish I was.

Speed: I thought you didn't want kids.

Anni: I thought you did.

Speed: Okay...We'll just...I....

Anni: You're not happy?

Speed: I'm...Surprised.

Anni: But not happy.

Speed: No no, I'll be happy as soon as I'm finished being surprised.

Anni: I figured if this marriage has any future at all, then we can't waste it by sitting in a couple of chairs our whole lives and then I started thinking hey what the hell I've never had a kid. I might as well see what all the hype is about.

Speed: I love you.

Anni: Well I love me too.

Jess: *runs over* MY BOOBS!

Carly: Oh stop.

Anni: You have splinters in your shirt.

Jess: They're not just in my shirt.

Katie: *runs over* I can't find Eric. He ran off.

Delko: *runs over* I'M OKAY! The Wubba Monster didn't get me.

Speed: *waves at air* Yeah well something did.

Delko: Oh yeah. I got into it with a skunk and the skunk won.

TBC................
 
"I hate other people's kids."

Ask any parent in the world an they'll say that! :lol:

Speed: *staring at Anni* What kid.

Anni: The one we're going to have in seven months.

Speed: *stares blankly*
Click to expand...

OMG!! FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING MIAMI RELATED!!! :eek: :eek:

Wait.

Geni. What did you do on vaction?

LOL JK!! :lol: But oh WOW, they're having a kid! *starts to call everyone* You come back form vaction, and we get a big surprise! Sweet! Thanks for the update Geni!! :D

(Sorry for quoting, it's just a really important event so...yeah...)
 
I'm not sure what I did on vacation. :lol: I do know that I slept, went outside, had some pizza... Other than that, I can't control what the RT gang does while I'm away. :p


***********

Hummerhome, 11pm

Katie: Seriously Eric you smell vile.

Delko: What?

Katie: It means you smell bad.

Delko: I smell manly.

Speed: You smell like a skunk.

Jess: No worries everyone, I have tomato sauce.

Delko: That's great but what does it have to do with me?

Jess: Hop in the tub.

Delko: We don't have a tub. We took it out and replaced it with a panic room.

Carly: What? No we didn't.

Calleigh: Eric, the bathroom is not our panic room.

Carly: And it's not even sanitary.

Jess: Sit in the sink.

Delko: I'm not going to be able to fit in the sink.

Jess: Well you smell and I'm not sleeping near someone who smells like an elephant's butt exploded.

Delko: I smell like an elephant's butt exploded?

Speed: *covering nose* Nah, she was taking it easy on you.

Delko: *rolls eyes*

Missy: *coughing* He smells like a dead body.

Speed: No he smells worse.

Delko: I DO NOT! Come on guys, I'm very self-conscious.

Speed: So don't go beat up skunks.

Delko: I was using it for protection against the Wubba Monster.

Speed: You used an animal you knew full well could throw stink at you, against an imaginary word you came up with while playing Scrabble.

Delko: ...Yeah you got a problem with that?

Speed: You're an idiot.

Anni: I HAVE THE ANSWER! *grabs body spray*

Delko: No, no chick scents.

Anni: *spraying Eric*

Katie: *grabs body spray* I like this idea. *spraying*

Delko: *screaming*

Missy: *grabs body spray*

Delko: NO NO! AH! THE EYES! *covering eyes*

Katie: I shouldn't enjoy this but I do.

Horatio: Alright people stop spraying things in here you're making it worse.

Everyone stops

Horatio: Great, now he smells like a cross between Midnight Breeze, Coco-Palm Nut and Caramel Ice Cream Vanilla Chocolate Swirl.

Delko: Oh tasty.

Calleigh: I still smell skunk.

Anni: Thank God they dont't bottle that stuff.

Delko: I didn't always smell like this!

Anni: *grabs nozzle from sink* Okay Eric, I'm going to spray you. Don't move.

Delko: AH! *runs*

Anni: *sprays*

Horatio: Stop! Stop spraying water! *wiping shades* I can't see!

Anni: Someone grab the tomato juice and throw it at him!

Katie: *grabs tomato juice* I need a can opener!

Jess: I don't think we have one.

Katie: *grabs knife, starts beating can* OPEN DAMN YOU!

Anni: HURRY HE'S CATCHING ON!

Delko: *closes bathroom door* PANIC! PANIC! PANIC!

Anni: *knocks on door*

Delko: Who's there?

Anni: Panic room rescuer.

Delko: *opens door*

Anni: *spraying Eric*

Katie: *throws tomato paste*

Delko: AH! There was garlic in that!

Anni: Die!

Delko: *runs*

Katie: *throwing tomato paste*

Missy: AH Don't throw it at me!

Katie: *throwing tomato paste*

Calleigh: My face! My hair!

Anni: Are you stupid? AIM FOR ERIC!

Katie: I AM!

Carly: He's running in a zig-zag pattern. Much harder to aim that way.

Speed: Are you the commentator or something?

Carly: If someone want to give me the job, sure.

Delko: *runs outside*

Anni: AHHH DIE! *nozzle cord stops* AH! *falls*

Katie: *throwing tomato paste*

Delko: My face! *trips*

Katie: Bullseye!

Horatio: ...My...Hummerhome...

Speed: It looks like spaghetti gone wrong.

Horatio: And it still smells. And HE still smells. Eric Delektorsky!

Delko: *walks in* Yes sir.

Horatio: Stop running and just...Sit in some tomato juice for a while.

Delko: Yes sir. *grabs tomato juice, walks into bathroom*

Horatio: *wipes shades*

Calleigh: What a fun evening.

Anni: I fell down and hurt my hip.

Speed: *runs over* Are you okay? Do you need ice? Do you want to sit on the couch? How does it feel? Is there any bleeding? Do you have a fever? What's your pusle? I'm going to take your pulse.

Anni: ...I'm fine.

Speed: That's cool too. *sits on couch*

TBC................
 
:lol:
I laughed so hard my mom came in and discovered I'm not doing my homework. Ah man the wait was SO worth it because that was so funny! Also- what exactly is a Wubba Monster? You?
Horatio: Just out of curiosity, are you still going to those therapy sessions that the lab provided?
Click to expand...
That made me think fo my own fic, lol. Speed goes to therapy? Also, I'm so behind- how did Lori die? And what thread? Ah gosh I missed so much here. :D But that was so great, thanks so much Geni. And Anni's pregnant! I wonder what her mom would say? :lol:
So thanks again. Awesome update. :)
 
It made me think of your fic too. :lol: But I in no way intended it to be a copy of yours. :) And yeah, Speed goes to therapy which was just revealed now.

And Lori died on a pier at Miami Beach. She had discovered that Logan (a guy she went to college with, and he was a drug dealer) was working with some corrupt FBI agents. So she was going to exploit him. But, when she went down to the pier with Carly to look over a different crime scene, Logan showed up and then Lori confronted him about everything. Carly had run off to stop a bunch of guys shooting at them and that's when Lori and Logan had a hand-to-hand fight in which Logan pulled out a knife and stabbed her in the chest, killing her.

Whew. Hope that clears things up. -- Oh! And it was toward the end of the 7th thread. :)

You're welcome for the update!

**************

Hummerhome, 12 am, Speed/Anni's room

Anni: *rolls over*

Speed: You've been tossing and turning for the past half hour.

Anni: I'm sorry I can't sleep. Why are you awake?

Speed: Because of you.

Anni: *sits up* It's just really hot in here.

Speed: It's not hot in here.

Anni: I find it hot. Open a window. It might let some of the skunk smell out of here.

Speed: *reaches over, opens window*

Anni: *sigh*

Speed: *sits up* You feeling okay?

Anni: Yeah, it's just the smell.

Speed: *rubs Anni's back* You'll be okay.

Anni: *smirks* You know, I felt totally scared about this. But since you've done this about a gazillion times, I feel better about it.

Speed: You don't have to worry about anything.

Anni: Good.

Speed: I'll be here whenever you call.

Anni: Even if you're at the lab at 2 am?

Speed: Especially if I'm at the lab at 2 am.

Anni: What if you're asleep beside me?

Speed: Wake me up.

Anni: What if you get mad?

Speed: I'll never get mad.

Anni: What if you're in England and I'm in Miami and I need you?

Speed: Then I'll be on the first plane back to Miami. And I'm not leaving that far.

Anni: *sigh* Thank you.

Speed: Why didn't you tell me for two months?

Anni: I didn't to make you mad, I didn't want to have everyone make fun of me, I-

Speed: Why would anyone make fun of you?

Anni: Because I did this whole thing for the longest time about how I hate kids, and I hate marriage, and bla bla bla and now I have all of that and...I didn't want to feel like a hypocrite.

Speed: You're not a hypocrite.

Anni: But I just love you so much and I wanted to make you happy and I didn't want to just leave nothing behind when I die, you know? This is the ultimate declaration of our love as pathetic and idiotic as that sounds coming from my mouth.

Speed: So you've thought pretty hard about this.

Anni: Yeah. But I mean this is ours. Our child so...I like to think we both kind of agreed on it, just not at the same time and...Interval.

Speed: You're still freaked out about this.

Anni: Extremely.

Speed: Anni, if you ever have concerns just feel free to talk and talk and talk.

Anni: Good because there was something else I was meaning to bring to the foreground. I have these cramps and-

Speed: Except that. Th-That's a woman thing.

Anni: Ah. Well then, thanks for your ear. *lays down*

Speed: No problem. *lays down*

Anni: ...Hey Tim?

Speed: Yeah.

Anni: It won't hurt, right?

Speed: ....Uh....Well 'hurt' is a very...Relative term.

Anni: *throws pillow at Speed* Shut up you dork, I know it'll hurt.

Speed: You asked.

Anni: You lied.

Speed: I did not lie, I witheld information.

Anni: Dork.

Speed: I love you too sweetheart.

Delko/Jess' room

Jess: You smell.

Delko: ...So do you.

Jess: I do not smell.

Delko: Well I do.

Jess: I know, I just said that.

Delko: Well stop saying it.

Jess: Isn't that stupid tomato stuff supposed to work?

Delko: Yes, theoretically.

Jess: Well whoever thought of it should spend the night in this room and see their theory being disproved.

Delko: It's not that bad.

Jess: Yeah well you're used to it.

Delko: I am not.

Jess: Neither am I.

Delko: How about we get close-pins and work this out.

Jess: I doubt that will work. It's like friggin Hiroshima of smells in here.

Delko: Hiro...What?

Jess: Nevermind.

Delko: It's not like I always smelled like this, right?

Jess: I sure hope not.

Delko: Come on, I don't smell that bad. The skunk was just very ripe.

Jess: Eric, I don't want to talk about your body odour anymore.

Delko: It's not body odour! It's skunk!

Calleigh: *opens door* Eric, if I have to hear about the skunk ONE. MORE. TIME.

Delko: Fine.

Calleigh: *shuts door*

Delko: ...I don't smell.

Everyone: *from all over the Hummerhome* SHUT UP!

Hotel, front desk, Miami

Josh: Look I'm asking for two more days.

Sarah: *typing* I'm sorry, I can't do that. This isn't an apartment it's a hotel.

Josh: My house burned to the ground.

Sarah: I'm sorry for your loss.

Josh: You want my children to sleep in a car?

Sarah: That's not really my problem.

Josh: I'll work here if that's what it takes.

Sarah: There are no job openings.

Josh: Then I'll stand at the door and greet people. But I will not take a warm bed and a hot shower away from my kids.

Sarah: Why don't you file a complaint with management.

Josh: Because you're management.

Sarah: Oh yeah. *looks across room* Great.

Josh: Who's he?

Sarah: My boss.

Bob: *walks over* Sarah! You and I need to talk!

Sarah: Yes sir.

Bob: Those potted plants, need water. Where the hell were you all day?

Sarah: Working in the back office.

Bob: I need you out here. Working here. You understand me?

Sarah: They're plants.

Bob: I don't care. Get your skinny white barbie leaf-eatin' ass into my office.

Sarah: Why?

Bob: Because I said so.

Sarah: I'm working.

Bob: You want to be 'working' on medical leave for the rest of your life?

Josh: Hey. Take it easy.

Bob: I don't have to listen to you. *grabs Sarah's arm* Let's go.

Sarah: No!

Josh: Hey!

Bob: Why don't you stay out of it?

Josh: *lifts badge* How about I arrest you?

Bob: Sarah we don't allow cops here.

Sarah: It's not like there's a banner on the front of the building that says 'no cops'.

Bob: *pushes Sarah* Stupid bitch.

Josh: *grabs Bob, shoves him against wall*

Bob: AH! AH! THAT HURTS!

Josh: Oh whoops. *pushes Bob harder against wall*

Bob: AH!

Josh: *whispers* You want to find out a nice warm place where handcuffs can end up?

Bob: *frowning*

Josh: If you don't want to experience that, back off and don't touch her again. *lets go*

Bob: *walks away*

Sarah: *walks over* I'm sorry about him.

Josh: Don't apologize.

Sarah: *smiles* I guess I can't say no to letting your kids stay here, huh.

Josh: Your choice.

Sarah: You have five more days.

Josh: Thank you.

TBC................
 
Ohhhhh look at Joshie being all..The Enforcer and everything. lol. Awww Anni's pregnant. It doesn't seem that long ago that she was all single and stuff and now she's married and pregnant. Seriously Jess....what are we going to do with you. Go to a surgeon already.

Delko: We can't just chop down a tree. We don't even have an axe.

Colton: Ask Speed, he has a lot.

Katie: *slaps Colton*
Click to expand...

Hahaha. Oh man the Axe man lives. I was actually with my friend Amanda last night and there was this guy walking and I was like "ITs the Axe man! Run! Only....not young and not attractive." lol. But seriously asking Speed for an axe is just asking for trouble lol. Update soon.
 
Oh my, Eric and the Wubba monster. The poor guy is just convinced that it exists. Or maybe it does exist. *X-Files music starts to play* Anni and Speed mud fighting, that’s priceless. And Anni’s pregnant! Great stuff, I can’t wait for more! :D

Oh, if the tomato juice doesn’t work, Eric should try using soap, hydrogen peroxide and baking soda. It was proven to be more effective against skunk smell than tomato juice on Mythbusters.
 
Ah Mythbusters. So entertaining. :D

I hope this fic is as well. ;) Thanks for the wonderful reviews! And that darn Wubba Monster. I swear, they'll run into it one day. :p

**************

Hummerhome, 10am

Horatio: WAKE UP WE'RE LEAVING!

Calleigh: We were already awake.

Horatio: Oh. My bad.

Delko: Hey I don't stink anymore.

Jess: That's because I threw a whole array of ingredients at you.

Delko: While I was asleep?

Jess: It's the only place where you stay still for more than an hour.

Delko: That is true.

Calleigh: So where are we going?

Horatio: Wherever the highway leads us.

Calleigh: I thought you said we were going to an asylum or something.

Horatio: I realized I don't like those places. I mean it's one thing to be gutting a place and wearing hazmats suits but then people start to go crazy because of something that never happened but it actually happened and then you stick a rod in people's eyes to do lobotomies and it just all goes to hell.

Everyone: ...

Horatio: Nevermind.

Ryan: Hey I'm still here.

Speed: Yeah we can see you.

Ryan: But I never say anything. It's like I keep forgetting I'm here, haha...How silly.

Katie: Don't worry we know you're here. *pinches Ryan*

Ryan: OW!

Katie: See? Not a dream. You're here.

Ryan: Everyone is always torturing me.

Katie: Yeah well that's your own fault.

Ryan: Some people like me.

Everyone: ...

Ryan: Calleigh?

Calleigh: *whispers* It's not cool to say right now, so I'll tell you later.

Ryan: Oh okay.

Katie: I hate you. *kicks Ryan*

Ryan: OW!

Horatio: Katie, cut it out.

Katie: Fine.

Ryan: What's the big problem? So I'm the new guy.

Katie: I never liked new people.

Jess: Hey let's string him up like a pinata.

Ryan: NO!

Jess: *grabs Ryan*

Katie: *grabs Ryan*

Jess: No, let me string him up.

Katie: No it's my turn.

Jess: No one has had a turn yet.

Katie: Yeah so it's mine first.

Jess: I thought of it.

Katie: I'm stronger.

Jess: I hate him more.

Katie: I seriously doubt that.

Jess: *yanks Ryan's arm* He's mine.

Katie: *pulls Ryan's arm* No he's MINE.

Ryan: I feel so needed.

Jess: *pulls Ryan* Back off.

Katie: YOU back off biatch.

Jess: I want him.

Katie: NO I want him!

Jess: He's mine!

Katie: Mine!

Ryan: You know, if you switch up the context, I'm like Hercules.

Katie: What?

Jess: What?

Ryan: ...Or Hugh Hefner.

Jess: EW! *slaps Ryan*

Ryan: OW!

Horatio: Ladies, no one's going to string Ryan up in the Hummerhome and beat him with sticks until candy falls out.

Ryan: Exactly! And I don't have candy in me. Just a lot of guts.

Katie: Oh we didn't want to beat candy out of you.

Ryan: *wide-eyed*

Katie: *winks*

Ryan: Are you flirting with me?

Katie: What? No. No I wasn't. No. What happened?

Jess: Oh geez Katie.

Katie: What! I want to beat the crap out of him!

Ryan: Sure you do.

Katie: I do!

Ryan: Yeah?

Katie: Yeah.

Ryan: Then take this stick and hit me.

Katie: *grabs stick* Where did you pull this from?

Speed: His ass.

Everyone: *looks at Speed*

Speed: I'll shut up.

Ryan: Okay hit me.

Katie: No.

Ryan: Hit me.

Katie: No.

Ryan: Hit me.

Katie: No.

Ryan: Hit me.

Katie: No.

Ryan: Hit me!

Katie: No!

Ryan: Come on, hit me!

Katie: No!

Ryan: Hit me! Hit me! Hit me!

Katie: No! No! No!

Ryan: Hit Me! Hit me!

Katie: FINE! *smacks Ryan in the side*

Ryan: OW! *falls over*

Katie: Well, it's true. No candy.

Ryan: *holding ribs* I hate you.

Katie: Well I hate you too.

Ryan: So why wouldn't you hit me?

Katie: I didn't know how hard I'd hit. I don't want to kill you, just make you suffer.

Ryan: *kicks Katie*

Katie: AH! *falls*

Ryan: Get off of me!

Katie: You kicked me!

Ryan: You weren't supposed to fall this way!

Katie: Well look what happened anyway!

Ryan: GAH!

Katie: GAH!

Horatio: Enough! Both of you sit down and be quiet. Put the stick away.

Katie: *sits in dinette*

Ryan: *sits in dinette*

Katie: No don't sit with me. *pushes Ryan*

Ryan: Ah! *pushes Katie*

Katie: *pushes Ryan*

Ryan: *pushes Katie*

Katie: *pushes Ryan*

Ryan: *pushes Katie*

Speed: KNOCK IT THE HELL OFF!

Katie: ....

Ryan: ....

Katie: ....He started it.

Ryan: You started it.

Katie: YOU STARTED IT!

Ryan: NO YOU STARTED IT!

Delko: I don't care WHO started it, I'll finish it.

Ryan: Pfft yeah right Eric.

Delko: You don't get to call me that.

Ryan: FINE. Delko.

Delko: That's better.

Katie: *pushes Ryan* Idiot.

Ryan: *pushes Katie* Jerk.

Katie: *pushes Ryan* Uh...I can't think of one.

Ryan: How about incredible attractive single male with great teeth? *smiles*

Katie: Well...You do have great teeth.

Ryan: Thank you.

Calleigh: *frowns*

TBC...............
 
*huggles Jess and Katie* YAY! I LOVE how Katie tortured him! :lol: And Jess was gonna! :D I realllly loved this update. :)

Update Soon. :D
 
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