ladyhunter
Head of the Swing Shift
This is my version of what happened after Right Next Door
There is more to come, this is just the first part.
Many, many thanks to my lovely beta Waiting. :luvlove:
Now that Mac and I are going to be parents, it’s funny what goes through your mind when a circumstance is going to change your life forever.
I’m sitting here on our couch waiting for Mac. And when I say going to be parents, I mean in the very near future. My contractions are about three minutes apart and the last one, I tell you, was a doosey. It took my breath away. The amusing or shall I say interesting things I’ve been thinking about was whether I should have told Mac he was going to have a son sooner than I did, but things didn’t turn out that way.
The past year has been such a whirlwind I can’t even begin to tell you how we got from my apartment burning down to where we are now, on the verge of parenthood. Twelve months can seem like a lifetime to some and to Mac and me it’s the beginning of our future and our family’s future.
~~~~
It all started when my apartment burned down. Mac offered for me to stay with him. I had an odd feeling about doing that at first. All he needed was for someone in the Chief’s Office to get wind of the fact that Mac and I were living together. Even if it was just as roommates, the possibility that the Chief would make more trouble in light of the situation for Mac, but for everyone in the lab- so I declined.
But, after several attempts to find a decent place to live, my attempts turned up useless. I wound up staying in a hotel for a few weeks. Yeah, the privacy was great. No one was there to complain if I left my clothes on the floor, or if I drank the last of the milk, but that was the point, no one was there. I lived alone in my apartment, but I could hear people going about their daily lives all around me. I would forget that I was alone after hearing the laughter from the children next door. Then I realized that’s what I wanted. No more solitude, but something where I wasn’t by myself.
Mac was the only one who offered a place to stay, so I found myself at his door.
I paced the floor in front of his apartment for I don’t know how long. I heard his neighbors laughing and talking. My heart immediately knew this was going to be a good thing. I just need the courage to get myself there…
I knocked. I could feel my face fill with heat as a sense of awkwardness came over me. Why? I’m not sure, but panic filled me after I knocked on his door.
I stood there, as hotness filled my cheeks. Who knows how long I actually stood out in the hall, 2 minutes? 20? It didn’t matter.
I heard some noises from the other side of the door. I stood, rigid at the thought that I was being too invasive as I stared intently at his wooden door. I swallowed down my nerves, I ran a hand through my unruly hair, I forced myself to look somewhere other than the door. The potted shrub of a plant that stood right next to Mac’s door did just fine. As I stood pondering the oddness of a plant in the starkness of the hall, I heard more laughter coming from across the hall, the kind of laughter that comes from true happiness. Whoever lived there convinced me to try Mac again.
This is it I said to myself as my hands wrung together again. Nervousness filled me along with only small twinges of panic this time.
I knocked again. Then Mac opened the door.
“Stella, what are you doing here?” He asked almost not surprised to see me.
“I … I … uh wanted to know if your extra room was still available,” I stammered to him. My eyebrows scrunched together as I felt the redness and heat return to my face.
“I … should go; maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.” I stumble out to Mac still standing in his doorway.
“Wait, Stella,” Mac called to me as I began to turn around. “Of course the room is available, I just wanted to know what took you so long to come around?” He smiled at me. A smile I couldn’t resist. The next thing I knew, I was walking into Mac’s apartment and to the beginning of our future.
~~~~
The next two weeks were awkward to say the least. I felt sort of out of place at Mac’s. I wasn’t quite sure of my new role. I didn’t feel like a roommate, I felt more like a trespasser. I felt like someone who was looking in on Mac’s life and trying to participate at the same time. Either way, I felt really, really out of place.
Then the level of uncomfortableness (if there even is such a word) reached an all time high, at least for me.
One day after work I came home, or shall I say, I came back to Mac’s place. (During the first few weeks I never really did feel like it was my home.) I was hungry and neither one of us had gone grocery shopping. I searched the cupboards and the fridge for something to eat. I usually stock my fridge with fresh fruit and vegetables. Mac was a little different. His eating habits were different than mine to say the least. But I did manage to find an apple sitting on the counter. Unfortunately, it was the last apple. I didn’t want to eat Mac’s last apple. Let me tell you, that was the weirdest decision I’ve had to make in a long time, whether or not to eat Mac’s last apple. Normally Mac and I get off shift at the same time, so we are usually home within half an hour of each other. But not this time; he didn’t get home until an hour later than I did. Needless to say, I was starving by then.
I think our conversation went something like this….
‘Mac good you’re home.” I practically whimpered when he entered the apartment.
“Why, what’s wrong?” He asked in his stern but worried Mac Taylor voice.
“Ummm… nothing,” I stopped, now really self-conscious at the idea of asking him if I could eat his apple. As hungry as I was, just the look in his eye made me blush with embarrassment.
“No, Stella, you sound like you have some really important to ask.” He replied this time in a not so serious tone.
Now I felt really, really strange and out of place. All I wanted to do was to get swallowed by a hole in the wall. If I could have gone back two weeks in time, I would have. But no, I stood there, in Mac’s kitchen seriously contemplating the idea of asking him if I could eat his apple. What kind of person am I?
Then something happened that made me more at ease; my stomach growled.
Mac smiled. His smile gets me every time. Something about his smile makes me blush, and that I did, because the next thing I knew, the apple was flying at me from across the kitchen. I was grateful I caught it.
“You don’t need to ask Stella. This is your home too.” He practically whispered to me in passing.
From then on, I felt much more comfortable with our living arrangements. I still didn’t quite feel like it was my home. But, I felt less like an intruder and more like someone who was staying there or at least for a short term basis.
My uneasiness let up over the following weeks. Mac and I would take turns cooking each other dinner. I would cook some Greek favorites of mine. He told me his favorite was Garlic/Lemon Chicken. He served me his famous Mac Cheeseburger. I laughed when I heard that’s his specialty, but it was actually really good. It quickly became my new favorite.
Then, one night, after a long, awful day at the lab, both of us needed a good break. The case was terrible to say the least. How can you get over the death of not one but two children at the hand of the babysitter? At first Mac wanted us to let it go as an accident, but something about the evidence wasn’t letting me settle for ‘just an accident’. I pushed Mac, and Adam, and Danny and everyone else. I wasn’t going to let this be just an accident. Maybe that was my motherly instincts telling me something or what, but I didn’t want to let it go. Mac and I actually got into an argument over it. Like the kind we used to have. It was actually kind of fun to push at him.
“Mac, you’re ruling it an accident?” I stormed into his office. “You are closing the case?” My voice was full of anger.
“Stella, there is nothing more to support that this wasn’t an accident.” He fired back.
“Mac, you can’t be serious,” I fumed. “Two little girls are dead and you are ruling this an accident? NO WAY! I’m not buying it, NO WAY!” My voice shrilled. “There is more to this case…. And you know it. What are you afraid of? Mac, what are you afraid of? Are you afraid that Sinclair will have your ass for solving a true crime instead of beating your ass about Clay Dobson?”
“Stella, calm down,” He ordered while slamming the door to his office closed. “Just what exactly are you saying here? That I care more about my own ass than solving a crime that the victims just happen to be two small children? Is that what you are implying Stella? Because if it is, than this conversation is over.” He firmly pointed out.
“Yes, Mac, yes it is.” My impatience got the best of me at that moment and the words just flew out of my mouth.
“Look,” I stammered in a voice I was fairly certain I had toned down from the frustration I was feeling at that moment. “I just don’t think this was an accident, random or not, that’s all.” I got out as I felt his eyes narrow on me. That’s never a good sign when dealing with Mac Taylor.
“Stella, if I were to give in to any doubts that we have regarding the evidence we collect, there would be a whole lot of people who wouldn’t be in prison right now. You know that and I know that. I just don’t understand why this case is different. Why this particular case Stella, why?” He asked after he had calmed down some too.
“I’m not sure Mac, but something is telling me that there is more, more to this just being an accident.” I said as I could finally look him in the eye.
Mac and I have been friends for so long; I know when I should and need to look him in the eye. I know when I need to look away from him and I know when to push at him. This was one of those times I needed to, I really needed to push at him. He’s right about having doubts regarding evidence, but the doubts in this case were just too great to ignore. I didn’t want to let this go. But, I was beginning to see that Mac knew I wasn’t going to let it go either. I wanted to get across to him that I wasn’t going to drop this until I could prove without a shadow of a doubt this was no accident.
“Okay Stella,” the lilt in his voice made me feel more at ease, but I knew he had something on his mind. “You have 24 hours to prove to me that this wasn’t an accident. You have full access to the lab and to anyone who wants to help you, but if you can’t provide me with more sufficient evidence, then I’m ruling it an accident and this case gets closed. Do you understand?”
I didn’t need to ask twice.
I sat at the evidence table for hours I’m sure. I’m not sure how long I was there but I’m sure it was a while Don started me, after that I decided I needed a break.
“Hey Stella, you still here?” He asked as I practically jumped out of my seat. I was pouring over the evidence photos with such a high level of concentration; I didn’t even hear him come in the room.
“Detective Angell and I are heading over to McShay’s for a drink, wanna come? Danny said he’ll join us later.” His New York accent echoed in the room we were in.
I must not have answered him soon enough, because he leaned his head down next to mine and grabbed a photo off the table.
“HEY!” I sternly stated, “I need that!”
“What are you doing? I thought Mac closed this case, the babysitter said it was an accident and we didn’t have enough to hold her on.” Don pointed out much to my disgust.
“Well, I don’t see it that way,” I snarled snatching the picture back.
“Hey, if you change your mind or if Mac kicks you off of this, either way, we’ll be at McShay’s. Hopefully, we’ll see you there.” Flack said slightly laughing. His laughter could be heard as he walked out of the room.
More hours passed. My eyes grew tired and strained. Part of me wanted to give up and another part of me wanted to prove Mac wrong. Or maybe prove to myself that I could pull this out, that I could find ‘something’ that wasn’t there.
I looked at my watch; 10:30pm it read. I was ready, I was ready to throw in the towel and just let this case close, accident or no accident.
There is more to come, this is just the first part.
Many, many thanks to my lovely beta Waiting. :luvlove:
It’s Funny What You Think of in Times like These
Now that Mac and I are going to be parents, it’s funny what goes through your mind when a circumstance is going to change your life forever.
I’m sitting here on our couch waiting for Mac. And when I say going to be parents, I mean in the very near future. My contractions are about three minutes apart and the last one, I tell you, was a doosey. It took my breath away. The amusing or shall I say interesting things I’ve been thinking about was whether I should have told Mac he was going to have a son sooner than I did, but things didn’t turn out that way.
The past year has been such a whirlwind I can’t even begin to tell you how we got from my apartment burning down to where we are now, on the verge of parenthood. Twelve months can seem like a lifetime to some and to Mac and me it’s the beginning of our future and our family’s future.
~~~~
It all started when my apartment burned down. Mac offered for me to stay with him. I had an odd feeling about doing that at first. All he needed was for someone in the Chief’s Office to get wind of the fact that Mac and I were living together. Even if it was just as roommates, the possibility that the Chief would make more trouble in light of the situation for Mac, but for everyone in the lab- so I declined.
But, after several attempts to find a decent place to live, my attempts turned up useless. I wound up staying in a hotel for a few weeks. Yeah, the privacy was great. No one was there to complain if I left my clothes on the floor, or if I drank the last of the milk, but that was the point, no one was there. I lived alone in my apartment, but I could hear people going about their daily lives all around me. I would forget that I was alone after hearing the laughter from the children next door. Then I realized that’s what I wanted. No more solitude, but something where I wasn’t by myself.
Mac was the only one who offered a place to stay, so I found myself at his door.
I paced the floor in front of his apartment for I don’t know how long. I heard his neighbors laughing and talking. My heart immediately knew this was going to be a good thing. I just need the courage to get myself there…
I knocked. I could feel my face fill with heat as a sense of awkwardness came over me. Why? I’m not sure, but panic filled me after I knocked on his door.
I stood there, as hotness filled my cheeks. Who knows how long I actually stood out in the hall, 2 minutes? 20? It didn’t matter.
I heard some noises from the other side of the door. I stood, rigid at the thought that I was being too invasive as I stared intently at his wooden door. I swallowed down my nerves, I ran a hand through my unruly hair, I forced myself to look somewhere other than the door. The potted shrub of a plant that stood right next to Mac’s door did just fine. As I stood pondering the oddness of a plant in the starkness of the hall, I heard more laughter coming from across the hall, the kind of laughter that comes from true happiness. Whoever lived there convinced me to try Mac again.
This is it I said to myself as my hands wrung together again. Nervousness filled me along with only small twinges of panic this time.
I knocked again. Then Mac opened the door.
“Stella, what are you doing here?” He asked almost not surprised to see me.
“I … I … uh wanted to know if your extra room was still available,” I stammered to him. My eyebrows scrunched together as I felt the redness and heat return to my face.
“I … should go; maybe this wasn’t such a good idea.” I stumble out to Mac still standing in his doorway.
“Wait, Stella,” Mac called to me as I began to turn around. “Of course the room is available, I just wanted to know what took you so long to come around?” He smiled at me. A smile I couldn’t resist. The next thing I knew, I was walking into Mac’s apartment and to the beginning of our future.
~~~~
The next two weeks were awkward to say the least. I felt sort of out of place at Mac’s. I wasn’t quite sure of my new role. I didn’t feel like a roommate, I felt more like a trespasser. I felt like someone who was looking in on Mac’s life and trying to participate at the same time. Either way, I felt really, really out of place.
Then the level of uncomfortableness (if there even is such a word) reached an all time high, at least for me.
One day after work I came home, or shall I say, I came back to Mac’s place. (During the first few weeks I never really did feel like it was my home.) I was hungry and neither one of us had gone grocery shopping. I searched the cupboards and the fridge for something to eat. I usually stock my fridge with fresh fruit and vegetables. Mac was a little different. His eating habits were different than mine to say the least. But I did manage to find an apple sitting on the counter. Unfortunately, it was the last apple. I didn’t want to eat Mac’s last apple. Let me tell you, that was the weirdest decision I’ve had to make in a long time, whether or not to eat Mac’s last apple. Normally Mac and I get off shift at the same time, so we are usually home within half an hour of each other. But not this time; he didn’t get home until an hour later than I did. Needless to say, I was starving by then.
I think our conversation went something like this….
‘Mac good you’re home.” I practically whimpered when he entered the apartment.
“Why, what’s wrong?” He asked in his stern but worried Mac Taylor voice.
“Ummm… nothing,” I stopped, now really self-conscious at the idea of asking him if I could eat his apple. As hungry as I was, just the look in his eye made me blush with embarrassment.
“No, Stella, you sound like you have some really important to ask.” He replied this time in a not so serious tone.
Now I felt really, really strange and out of place. All I wanted to do was to get swallowed by a hole in the wall. If I could have gone back two weeks in time, I would have. But no, I stood there, in Mac’s kitchen seriously contemplating the idea of asking him if I could eat his apple. What kind of person am I?
Then something happened that made me more at ease; my stomach growled.
Mac smiled. His smile gets me every time. Something about his smile makes me blush, and that I did, because the next thing I knew, the apple was flying at me from across the kitchen. I was grateful I caught it.
“You don’t need to ask Stella. This is your home too.” He practically whispered to me in passing.
From then on, I felt much more comfortable with our living arrangements. I still didn’t quite feel like it was my home. But, I felt less like an intruder and more like someone who was staying there or at least for a short term basis.
My uneasiness let up over the following weeks. Mac and I would take turns cooking each other dinner. I would cook some Greek favorites of mine. He told me his favorite was Garlic/Lemon Chicken. He served me his famous Mac Cheeseburger. I laughed when I heard that’s his specialty, but it was actually really good. It quickly became my new favorite.
Then, one night, after a long, awful day at the lab, both of us needed a good break. The case was terrible to say the least. How can you get over the death of not one but two children at the hand of the babysitter? At first Mac wanted us to let it go as an accident, but something about the evidence wasn’t letting me settle for ‘just an accident’. I pushed Mac, and Adam, and Danny and everyone else. I wasn’t going to let this be just an accident. Maybe that was my motherly instincts telling me something or what, but I didn’t want to let it go. Mac and I actually got into an argument over it. Like the kind we used to have. It was actually kind of fun to push at him.
“Mac, you’re ruling it an accident?” I stormed into his office. “You are closing the case?” My voice was full of anger.
“Stella, there is nothing more to support that this wasn’t an accident.” He fired back.
“Mac, you can’t be serious,” I fumed. “Two little girls are dead and you are ruling this an accident? NO WAY! I’m not buying it, NO WAY!” My voice shrilled. “There is more to this case…. And you know it. What are you afraid of? Mac, what are you afraid of? Are you afraid that Sinclair will have your ass for solving a true crime instead of beating your ass about Clay Dobson?”
“Stella, calm down,” He ordered while slamming the door to his office closed. “Just what exactly are you saying here? That I care more about my own ass than solving a crime that the victims just happen to be two small children? Is that what you are implying Stella? Because if it is, than this conversation is over.” He firmly pointed out.
“Yes, Mac, yes it is.” My impatience got the best of me at that moment and the words just flew out of my mouth.
“Look,” I stammered in a voice I was fairly certain I had toned down from the frustration I was feeling at that moment. “I just don’t think this was an accident, random or not, that’s all.” I got out as I felt his eyes narrow on me. That’s never a good sign when dealing with Mac Taylor.
“Stella, if I were to give in to any doubts that we have regarding the evidence we collect, there would be a whole lot of people who wouldn’t be in prison right now. You know that and I know that. I just don’t understand why this case is different. Why this particular case Stella, why?” He asked after he had calmed down some too.
“I’m not sure Mac, but something is telling me that there is more, more to this just being an accident.” I said as I could finally look him in the eye.
Mac and I have been friends for so long; I know when I should and need to look him in the eye. I know when I need to look away from him and I know when to push at him. This was one of those times I needed to, I really needed to push at him. He’s right about having doubts regarding evidence, but the doubts in this case were just too great to ignore. I didn’t want to let this go. But, I was beginning to see that Mac knew I wasn’t going to let it go either. I wanted to get across to him that I wasn’t going to drop this until I could prove without a shadow of a doubt this was no accident.
“Okay Stella,” the lilt in his voice made me feel more at ease, but I knew he had something on his mind. “You have 24 hours to prove to me that this wasn’t an accident. You have full access to the lab and to anyone who wants to help you, but if you can’t provide me with more sufficient evidence, then I’m ruling it an accident and this case gets closed. Do you understand?”
I didn’t need to ask twice.
I sat at the evidence table for hours I’m sure. I’m not sure how long I was there but I’m sure it was a while Don started me, after that I decided I needed a break.
“Hey Stella, you still here?” He asked as I practically jumped out of my seat. I was pouring over the evidence photos with such a high level of concentration; I didn’t even hear him come in the room.
“Detective Angell and I are heading over to McShay’s for a drink, wanna come? Danny said he’ll join us later.” His New York accent echoed in the room we were in.
I must not have answered him soon enough, because he leaned his head down next to mine and grabbed a photo off the table.
“HEY!” I sternly stated, “I need that!”
“What are you doing? I thought Mac closed this case, the babysitter said it was an accident and we didn’t have enough to hold her on.” Don pointed out much to my disgust.
“Well, I don’t see it that way,” I snarled snatching the picture back.
“Hey, if you change your mind or if Mac kicks you off of this, either way, we’ll be at McShay’s. Hopefully, we’ll see you there.” Flack said slightly laughing. His laughter could be heard as he walked out of the room.
More hours passed. My eyes grew tired and strained. Part of me wanted to give up and another part of me wanted to prove Mac wrong. Or maybe prove to myself that I could pull this out, that I could find ‘something’ that wasn’t there.
I looked at my watch; 10:30pm it read. I was ready, I was ready to throw in the towel and just let this case close, accident or no accident.
