"Holding You, I've Held Everything"--H/Y fic

Yelina glanced at Horatio as he drove. It was hard to take her eyes off of him. There he sat next to her with his hair blowing slightly from the rolled down window, his sunglasses hiding his eyes, and his lips set tightly. Everything about him seemed so surreal. If this was a dream, she wanted to sleep forever and ever. She was with him now and that was all that mattered—everything else was insignificant.

As she sat there, watching him, she recalled the last time they had ridden together. He had been driving her and Ray Jr. to the airport—not knowing that she would have to leave him there, alone. The entire ride there she remembered that happiness she had felt. The complete happiness she felt then had been hard to keep from overflowing. She had thought of her and Horatio barefoot on the beaches—in pale moonlight—talking about random things, swimming in the fresh waters to cool off from the unkind heat, maybe even Horatio and Ray Jr. could do some fishing, and they would all be happy…

“Horatio,” Yelina asked, shaking her head to try and rid herself of those hopes.

He tightened his grip on the steering wheel and glanced at her for a moment. She could tell, even with his sunglasses hiding his eyes, that perhaps he had been thinking the same things as her.

“Mm-hmm?” he answered, swallowing hard.

Yelina placed a blowing strand of her hair behind her ear and tried to control her breathing but it still came out shakily. There was so much to say, she didn’t know where to begin. Everything was just so boggled up right now that her emotions ran of edge.

“Why,” she began, finding the words came out quieter than she had planned. “Why didn’t you come with us?”

Horatio frowned sadly at this question and concentrated on the road in front of him. There was so much hurt in her voice he wanted to be careful with his answer. He knew, after a moment, that there were no right words—only words that were truth.
 
ahh bless. I can't wait for more. I love Horatio and Yelina fics too.
 
“I had to stay. The three of you needed time,” Horatio answered slowly, finding the words came out jumbled.

Yelina watched his expression and tried to read it. There was something hidden in the confines of his face. She wanted to tell him to take a chance but she’d be giving advice she herself couldn’t take. Two years ago, on that tarmac she’d let everything slip away. Everything she wanted.

Horatio glanced at her and felt that old familiar feeling. The want to say something but knowing it wasn’t right to say. That was what had been so painful about her. She always made him want to reveal everything he felt—but there were just so many obstacles.

“Yelina, I…” he began.
“No, no, it’s alright. I understand.” She quickly smiled.

They drove quietly for a short time. Horatio wanted to say something to ease the tension between them. He knew it had been a long time and that there were still a lot of questions she wanted answers to and emotions were on edge. Everything was just so complicated.

“Yelina, I did what I thought was best for you and the boy—and Raymond. The three of you were safer there. You know I had to stay. My place is in here in Miami.”

Yelina nodded. She was glad that he understood the feelings that were coursing through her and appreciated that he was trying to explain. That was how it was with these two. Always hinting at feelings for one another but never really professing it.

“I know, I know.” She said before pausing. “I’m just glad to see you again.”


They finally arrived at his apartment. It was a townhouse in a quiet neighborhood not far from the beach. Horatio been living there since he returned to Miami from New York. He’d been enamored with the place and she knew he would never move. Still he was hardly ever home.

“Some things never change,” Yelina smiled as they climbed out.

Horatio watched her. It was breathtaking to see her smiling. He’d missed it and how it had made him feel. There was nothing else to make his heart turn such flips and make him feel like a timid little schoolboy.

“I know.” He nodded.

Horatio unlocks his front door and holds it open for her. He enjoys the smell of moon daisy on her hair as she passes by him. It isn’t her usual scent but he enjoys it anyhow. For a short moment, he stands there and savors it.

“Wow, it’s been a long time.” She said.
“Yes it has.” He nodded.
“It’s good to see something so familiar.”

Yelina walks around the living room and he stands back and watches her. His living room is dimly lit by the tangerine setting sun coming in from the sliding deck doors and reflects in the black marble floors. All of the furniture in his apartment was the best money could buy. Yet, nothing anyplace measured up to to how well she looked in his home. Quickly he shut down those thoughts before they started to make their way completely into his mind.

“Do you need a place to stay—?”

She stood at the window and looked to him. He wished he could move to turn a light on so he could see her expression. That was how he usually knew what she was thinking or feeling. However, right now her body language said it all. Those old heart-wrenching moments coming back to them.

“Maybe. I don’t really know yet.”
“You know if you…”
“I do.”

The two exchanged an understanding smile and a comfortable moment of silence.
 
You could cut the sexual tension with a knife. That was a great chapter keep going.
 
It's just brilliant Hummer. It's so 'them' and you understand them very well. Tender, heartwarming and very touching. :)
 
Lovely update, Jess. You do know them well and you write their emotions and describe everything so beautifully. Well worth the wait.
 
this installment is dedicated to HoratioAndMe for your never ending pool of support and love for all that is H/Y. You get better and come back to us soon! :(


*****

Yelina sits across from Horatio at his small kitchen table. He has made them coffee and it steams in the cups between them. It is hard for her not to look around the room. After all, it had been so long since she had been in his place. Any recollection of the sparse furniture and uncommon tidiness had been only recalled in memory for the last two years. It is a relief to be able to be there and not have to use her memory to see it.

“You still haven’t moved the furniture, I see,” she smiles warmly.

Horatio, still haven’t taken his eyes off of her, grins and forces himself to look around the room. Indeed his furniture hadn’t budged from their spots. Even after the floor was cleaned, everything was put back into their usual places.

“Some things have a certain place where they belong.”

Yelina knows this has a dual meaning and looks away to hide the slight blush it has caused. However, he sees the slight tinge of red brought to her cheeks and smiles quietly to his self.

“I agree,” she says, drawing circles in her coffee with her spoon.

Horatio nods and leans forwards. She feels the aroma of his cologne invade her nostrils and finds it hard not to sigh. It is, quite possibly, the most comforting smell that she has ever had the pleasure to inhale. However, the comfort is associated with whom it belongs to and not the scent itself.

“About Raymond,” he spoke slowly. “He gave no clue where he was going?”

Horatio found the need to talk about anything but their current position. It felt so different having her here in front of him, no longer having to remember her by memory, being able to reach out and touch her. How his hand itched to touch that bronze skin of hers and test his mind to make sure she is real and there with him.

“Has he ever?” Yelina asks with a slight smirk. “I mean, I should’ve expected him to do this again. I don’t even know why I was surprised. There was this voice in the back of my head before he left that kept saying—after all that’s happened—he hadn’t changed. Of course I ignored it…again.”

He watches her swallow hard and takes in a shaky breath. Obviously, she is more upset with herself than at Raymond. This had been the case several other times in the past. She moves uncomfortably in her seat to stare into her coffee.

“Yelina you can’t…” Horatio begins.

Yelina looks up quickly as if pulled from a deep thought. Her eyes are misty and Horatio starts to feel that old feeling again. The one where he wants to take her into his arms, make her happy, and protect her from everything. Yet, he must realize again that, even though she is only inches away, she mine as well be back in Brazil. For he cannot touch her.

“Please, let’s not talk about that right now. I’m sorry it’s just that it keeps getting harder and harder to talk about him,” she says with another shaky breath.

Horatio reaches out and touches her forearm in attempts to comfort her. For him it hasn’t gotten any easier to see her unhappy. This movement of his hand is also to comfort him. For as long as he can reach out and touch her he can protect her.
 
omg I love this... Hope you to write more soon! I think i'm becoming a H/Y shipper! I've always loved them both but... After reading and imagining this... more!! :)
Lots of love!
 
t0g0SzMaNdAL0vEr said:
omg I love this... Hope you to write more soon! I think i'm becoming a H/Y shipper! I've always loved them both but... After reading and imagining this... more!! :)
Lots of love!
Click to expand...
Yes, it is really beautiful.
H/Y 4ever
 
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