GSR - The only thing I need is you

S

Steve_Jobs

Police Officer
This is my second fic, so please don’t expect too much from my writing skills.
After having said that, I will write this fic with SaraSullivan, I hope an experienced writer can make up for my poor writingskills and make this story interesting.
I will write the Grissom side of it and SaraSullivan will do Sara’s side.


I’ll start:

Grissom sat in his office studying a very interesting bug he found in his own backyard. He didn’t notice it was already 3 hours past the end of his shift.
“Time flies when one is having fun…”
Since he found it a good plan to get some sleep before the next shift, he left the bug a small piece of meat from his personal fridge. Catherine made him get it after he stored a very large hump of raw meat in the break room’s refrigerator fore some of his experiments just as he was about to walk out of his office, Sara came in.
“I need to talk to you.” She said as she carefully closed the door behind her.
“About what?”
“You know. Grissom, I can’t take it anymore! This non-thing we have, It’s driving me mad! So, please, let’s have dinner together and see what happens.”
“Sara, you are a very beautiful woman, and I like you a lot but we have 15 years and our job relation between us. I don’t think we should go out.”
“Please, just give it a chance”
“No”
He didn’t mean to be so rude. Sara was near tears now.
“You know, it was true what I told you, very soon it is going to be too late.”
As Sara ran out of the room Grissom needed to grab something so he could save himself from a fall to the floor. He couldn’t…
He got up and slowly walked to a chair and let himself drop in it. How could he, how could he! He had just turned down the final attempt to just ask him to dinner from the woman he loved. He had loved her since Boston, he always told himself the age difference was too big, but she didn’t seem to care.
Catherine walked by and when she spotted him in his office, she paced inside, slammed the door and walked to the chair where Grissom was sitting.
“How dare you, you know she loves you and still you treat her like that.”
“Cath, please, I made such a mistake.”
“You sure did! Sara ran out of the lab crying!”
“I like her too, it’s jus that we differ 15 years in age. I think I was a fool, using that excuse not to have to face her.”
“Grissom, what are you going to do now?”
“I don’t know…”
“I do, if you like her, you go to her apartment and rip the bottle out of her hands.”
“What makes you think….”
“SHE IS AN ALCOHOLIC WHO HAS JUST EXPERIENCED THE MOST DRAMATIC EVENT OF HER LIFE!
Oops…..”
“You think this was the most dramatic event? How about when her mother killed her father! How about the countless times he came home drunk and beat her and her mother up?”
“Whoa calm down, is this real?”
Then it hit Grissom that he had just done something terribly stupid and he was too emberaced to speak in proper sentences.
“oh yes”
“And lemme guess, you aren’t allowed to share this with me?”
“yes”
“I will not say you told anything.”
“thanks”
Catherine took a seat in the break room and started thinking about the things she had just heard.

As Gil walked out of CSI: HQ he did not know that Sara did not only have a bottle in her hands.
 
Sara's side to Chapter One

Sara went through the longest shift of her life. She had to talk to Grissom, she couldn't keep it in any longer. Sure, the shift was just as long as any other, but it went by 20 times slower. The end of her shift had finally come, Sara sat down and breathed for a few short moments. She thought of going to Gil's office now, then she remembered that she didn't know what to say. She thought long and hard. She sorted out what to say, but what she wanted to tell him, no one could ever put into words. Just ask him to go out for a simple dinner. It's not that hard, her mind was telling her, her heart thought differently. Sara kept sitting in the evidence room and thinking of how to ask Grissom to go on a date with her.

Three hours had past without her knowing. Maybe he already left? Sara got up and walked to Grissom's office, she saw that he was just about to leave. This was her chance, the perfect moment that she had been waiting for. Sara slipped into the office before Grissom could leave.

"I need to talk to you." Sara said slowly as she closed the door. Grissom looked at her and took off his glasses. Sara leaned against the door, waiting for him to speak. She couldn't believe what she was about to do.

"About what?" Grissom said finally. Sara looked at the ground and thought quickly. She looked back at him and choked on her words. She swallowed hard and began to speak.

"You know, Grissom. I can't take it anymore! This non-thing we have, It's driving me mad! So, please, let's have dinner together and see what happens." Sara said, she meant to just ask to go and have dinner, but everything else just flooded out of her mouth before she could stop the words. Sara stared at Gil, waiting for him to speak. The moment that lasted forever.

"Sara, you are a beautiful woman, and I like you a lot but we have fifteen years and our job relation between us. I don't think we should go out." Grissom said.

"Please, just give it a chance." Sara pleaded, she could feel the tears poking at the back of her eyes.

"No." Gil answered. Tears came to Sara's eyes. The look in his eyes told her that he was sorry and didn't mean it the way it sounded, but she ignored it.

"You know, it was true what I told you, very soon it is going to be too late." Sara said quickly, tears fell down her cheeks and she ran out of the room. Sara ran past Catherine, ran past everything. She just needed to get out of there. As Sara ran outside, she heard Catherine yelling at Grissom. Good, he deserves to be yelled at. Sara drove home as fast as she could. She walked into her apartment, and took a beer out of the fridge. She was still crying.

Sara took a couple sips of the beer and then put it down on the table. She went into the washroom and stared at the razor blade that was on the counter, she picked it up and put it on the table next to the beer. Sara went into her bedroom and got out her gun that was in one of her drawers. She put the gun on the table and took another couple sips of her beer. Sara put the razor, the beer and the gun on the coffee table in front of the couch and sat down on the couch. She finished the beer in another gulp and picked up the gun. What will he think if he finds me dead? What will he think when he finds my wrists cut? More tears fell down Sara's face, she wondered what death would feel like.
 
Thanks for joining me!
Grissom's side to chapter 2

Grissom started to run, he just made it out of the lab, he needed to be alone, he felt like a melting iceberg. He knew he always acted cold around Sara, and when Cath confronted him he actually felt the ice around him melt.

Why am I so stupid! How can I be like this! I’m a scientist for god’s sake! Why am I ingnoring all the facts! Why did I turn the woman I love down again! Why! Why! Why!

When Grissom reached the Tahoe he couldn’t find the key in his pocket, not that he had the energy for driving or even opening the door. For the second time that night, he collapsed he leaned against the hood of the truck and slowly slid down eventually he sat leaning against a tire.
Where did it go wrong?
He thought about the first time they met, in Boston during his summercourse. He was attracted to her instantly, she always seemed interested in what he was telling, he always tried to look everywhere but at her, but he couldn’t resist it. Each time he looked at her beautiful face he forgot all about the bugs he was telling about.
After four weeks he finally dared to talk to her. He found out that she was not only gorgeous, but also highly intelligent. He fell for her on the spot.
A week after this conversation he asked her if she wished to see his bug collection. She agreed immediately and met him in his apartment the next evening for bugs and dinner. He made spaghetti, she brought desert. After dinner they went to see his bugs when they stood over a drawer containing his top-bugs they both moved in to see one specific insect. Their heads banged into each other and after apologizing they moved closer and closer. Eventually they kissed. Immediately after that kiss it went wrong. He brought up the ‘age thing’. Sara told him she didn’t mind it but her attempts were in vein.
Grissom, now be honest with yourself, why did you call her and asked her to come to Vegas?
Gil knew the answer all along, he was just not ready to face the truth, even though his job was to find it.

Catherine walked out of the lab, she looked forward to spend a couple of hours with her daughter today, as she walked to her car, she noticed Grissom’s truck still in the parkinglot. “Doesn’t he ever learn? Is that man blind or something?” she took her cell and punched a few buttons. In the distance, Catherine heard a faint noise, it was a cellphone. Grissom had not left the parkinglot. At that moment she noticed him.
He sat on the ground leaning on the wheel of his truck burying his face in his hands. Catherine thought about the sight, the brightest man she had ever met sat there totally desperate and not knowing how to cope with the situation. She walked up to him and softly called his name. “Grissom, Grissom?” he did not respond at all. Now she took a closer look at him she saw he was crying. “Grissom” she spoke louder now. “Grissom?” she touched his shoulder.
“huh? Please tell me this is not true..”
“You better get going.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s my only option here.”
“Yeah, I know this is difficult but why did you wait so long?”
“I guess I was just too afraid.”
Grissom fished the key out of his pocket and climbed in. It took a second for him to find the right way to put the Tahoe in drive but finally he drove off.

'Guess it wasn’t a smart idea to send him on the road like that…'
While Cath got in her own car and drove off she truly hoped that Grissom and Sara worked out.

As Gilbert pulled over he was glad his journey had ended, he had almost caused two accidents on the way over. Now was the hard part. He took a deep breath and got out of the truck, as he walked away he totally forgot about locking it. He ascended the stairs leading to Sara’s apartment. He had been here only one other time. He wanted to forget all the memories about that meeting. He reached the door, and he took one more deep breath as he knocked.
 
Sara's side to Chapter Two

Sara wiped the tears away from her eyes. She looked down at the gun and the razor blade. She couldn't stop crying, no matter how hard she tried. Will Gil even care when I'm dead? Will he just forget about it like another one of his cases? Gil doesn't care about my feelings, so why would he care about my life? Sara punched the table, if she never asked Grissom to have dinner with her, she would never have been in so much pain. Sara picked up the razor and looked at it, she looked at its sharp egdes, the sharp edges that could kill her if she cut deep enough.

The pain from cutting herself would never add up to nearly as much pain Grissom had caused her over the years. She put down the blade and got up from the couch. Sara unlocked the door so Grissom could come in and see her dead body, lying on the couch. He would wish he never had said no to her. Who would Gil get to replace her? Probably Sofia... Sara thought to herself. He's probably heading to Sofia's right now, and Sofia probably made him a wonderful dinner, and Gil brought dessert. Just like Sara had done when Grissom had shown her his bug collection. Gil probably has already shown Sofia his bug collection. They probably kissed too. They've probably been dating for months now.

Sara punched the table again after sitting down on the couch. Grissom had always made excuses about 'but what about our age?' As if he cared how much younger she was compared to him. For someone who is so unpolitic, he sure does care what people think. If he didn't care what people thought, the age wouldn't matter. Her age wouldn't matter, his age wouldn't matter, and he would accept love for love.

Sara picked up the razor and slit her wrist once, the pain felt good. It felt better than knowing Sofia and Grissom could be together right now. That's where he was probably heading after shift. Right as I was walking up to him. When I asked him to dinner, the only thing he was thinking about was 'I'm going to be late for my date with Sofia. The thought made Sara slit her wrist again.

Suddenly, Sara heard a knock at her apartment door. She decided to ignore it. It probably wasn't anyone important anyway. She looked down at the razor, which now had her blood on it. Then, she slit her wrist again.

----------
~saraa_*
 
@ debje, you should know that Gil aint that stong! He finds another solution...

“Sara? Sara! I know you are in there! Open up!” Grissom found that he started sounding more desperate with every word. He banged the door, usually he would feel the sharp pain one feels when he hits a hard surface with such force as Gil did there, but he didn’t. He banged the door again…
Then, it hit him. That one remark Sara made! That one remark did it.

““You know, it was true what I told you, very soon it is going to be too late.””

“NO! NO! Please NO!” It was like Grissom lived in a nightmare now. “Please Sara! Open the door! Sara don’t do this to me!” Grissom’s world started to collapse around him. He threw his weight against the door, it wouldn’t budge. “Don’t do this!” He didn’t even try to break through the door again. He grabbed the gun Brass made him carry everywhere and he unlocked it. He pulled back the slide, aimed and fired straight through the lock. Again.
He pushed the door open and ran inside. He made it through the small hallway, past the kitchen and the counter. As he saw her laying on the couch, near unconsciousness, his heart shattered. He rushed over to her side, she tried to pull her hands away from him, but he was much stronger that the woman with severe blood loss. “Sara, I want to help you!” he put pressure on the veins in the upper part of her arm, thereby stopping the bleeding.
“I don’t want help! I only want you!” Grissom felt tears rising as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. He called the Medical Department directly, not everyone needed to know that the CSI had become suicidal.
“Medical, Jenna speaking”
“Hello, this is Gil Grissom, CSI supervisor.
I need an ambulance at Infinite Loop 1 asap.
And keep this one quiet, so no radio transmission ok?”
“Ok Mr Grissom, the ETA is 5 minutes, one of the ambulances just finished up in the neighborhood.”
“Thanks, Bye”
When he looked at Sara, he saw the pain in her eyes, but he saw one more thing, rage. Gil couldn’t blame her, he had hurt her for years. Her face was covered in blood by now, she looked so vulnerable but so strong.
Grissom heard the siren of the approaching ambulance, as the siren stopped and he heard doors bang, the woman in his arms lost consciousness and didn’t move a muscle anymore.
As she paramedics walked in they saw Sara and what was wrong with her. One of them quickly stopped the bleeding by wrapping a bondage around her wrist.

No hesitation marks, this girl knew what she was doing, and she was serious about it…

“Sir, we’ll take her to the hospital now, do you want to ride with us?”
“That would be great, thanks.”
As the paramedics carried Sara out on a stretcher, Grissom looked at the apartment one more time before he pulled the door shut behind him.

After a few minutes in the ambulance, Sara woke up. “Where am I?” Her voice sounded weak. “We are going to take you to the hospital.” One of the paramedics replied. “It is going to be all right…”
Grissom couldn’t think clear, let alone speak.

Why am I in this situation, what have I done to deserve this? He knew the answer. He had hurt Sara more than once. It was because of him she tried to end her life. I am a horrible person…

After they had reached the hospital, Sara was quickly brought in. A nurse stopped Grissom from entering her room, he had to wait outside. He wanted to know what was going on inside. Because of the absence of a chair, he let himself slide down to the ground and pulled out his cell.

“Willows”
Relieved to hear her voice he started speaking.
“Catherine, meet me at desert palm room 213. Don’t speak about this meeting with anyone.”
Catherine understood the need to keep this private so she suppressed her curiosity and just told Grissom she would be there in 10. She could sense that this was about Sara.
 
@ debje, you should know that Gil aint that stong! He finds another solution...

“Sara? Sara! I know you are in there! Open up!” Grissom found that he started sounding more desperate with every word. He banged the door, usually he would feel the sharp pain one feels when he hits a hard surface with such force as Gil did there, but he didn’t. He banged the door again…
Then, it hit him. That one remark Sara made! That one remark did it.

““You know, it was true what I told you, very soon it is going to be too late.””

“NO! NO! Please NO!” It was like Grissom lived in a nightmare now. “Please Sara! Open the door! Sara don’t do this to me!” Grissom’s world started to collapse around him. He threw his weight against the door, it wouldn’t budge. “Don’t do this!” He didn’t even try to break through the door again. He grabbed the gun Brass made him carry everywhere and he unlocked it. He pulled back the slide, aimed and fired straight through the lock. Again.
He pushed the door open and ran inside. He made it through the small hallway, past the kitchen and the counter. As he saw her laying on the couch, near unconsciousness, his heart shattered. He rushed over to her side, she tried to pull her hands away from him, but he was much stronger that the woman with severe blood loss. “Sara, I want to help you!” he put pressure on the veins in the upper part of her arm, thereby stopping the bleeding.
“I don’t want help! I only want you!” Grissom felt tears rising as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. He called the Medical Department directly, not everyone needed to know that the CSI had become suicidal.
“Medical, Jenna speaking”
“Hello, this is Gil Grissom, CSI supervisor.
I need an ambulance at Infinite Loop 1 asap.
And keep this one quiet, so no radio transmission ok?”
“Ok Mr Grissom, the ETA is 5 minutes, one of the ambulances just finished up in the neighborhood.”
“Thanks, Bye”
When he looked at Sara, he saw the pain in her eyes, but he saw one more thing, rage. Gil couldn’t blame her, he had hurt her for years. Her face was covered in blood by now, she looked so vulnerable but so strong.
Grissom heard the siren of the approaching ambulance, as the siren stopped and he heard doors bang, the woman in his arms lost consciousness and didn’t move a muscle anymore.
As she paramedics walked in they saw Sara and what was wrong with her. One of them quickly stopped the bleeding by wrapping a bondage around her wrist.

No hesitation marks, this girl knew what she was doing, and she was serious about it…

“Sir, we’ll take her to the hospital now, do you want to ride with us?”
“That would be great, thanks.”
As the paramedics carried Sara out on a stretcher, Grissom looked at the apartment one more time before he pulled the door shut behind him.

After a few minutes in the ambulance, Sara woke up. “Where am I?” Her voice sounded weak. “We are going to take you to the hospital.” One of the paramedics replied. “It is going to be all right…”
Grissom couldn’t think clear, let alone speak.

Why am I in this situation, what have I done to deserve this? He knew the answer. He had hurt Sara more than once. It was because of him she tried to end her life. I am a horrible person…

After they had reached the hospital, Sara was quickly brought in. A nurse stopped Grissom from entering her room, he had to wait outside. He wanted to know what was going on inside. Because of the absence of a chair, he let himself slide down to the ground and pulled out his cell.

“Willows”
Relieved to hear her voice he started speaking.
“Catherine, meet me at desert palm room 213. Don’t speak about this meeting with anyone.”
Catherine understood the need to keep this private so she suppressed her curiosity and just told Grissom she would be there in ten. She could sense that this was about Sara.
 
Sara's side to Chapter Three

Sara kept slicing her wrists, ignoring the banging on her door. After a while, Grissom's voice had echoed through her apartment. It's Grissom. Gil is at my door. Sara sliced once more, her hands were covered in blood now.

"Sara? Sara! I know you are in there! Open up?" Gil yelled. He sounded desperate. Sara didn't care, she cut her wrist again. She heard Grissom banging on the door again and again. She felt like screaming 'Go Away!' but then that would tell Gil that she wasn't dead. So she didn't say a word.

“NO! NO! Please NO!” Grissom yelled. “Please Sara! Open the door! Sara don’t do this to me!” Don't do this to him? What about what you've done to me? You don't seem to care about that! Sara thought to herself. She tossed the blade aside, her vision had started to go blurry. Sara closed her eyes. She regreted what she was doing for a brief moment, but Grissom's voice made her think otherwise.

"Don't do this!" Gil yelled. Sara's eyes flew open as she heard two gunshots. Even though her eyes were open, she couldn't see anything clearly. She heard the door open and heard Gil run over to her. She pushed him away, it was his fault she was doing this and now he wanted to save her? Sara wasn't going to let that happen.

"Sara, I want to help you!" Gil said, Sara could tell by his voice that he was crying.

"I don't want help, I only want you." Sara said quickly and angrily. Sara listened to Gil call for an ambulance, he still wanted things to look normal?! He cared what people thought.

"Keep this one quiet." The qords rung through Sara's head. Her vision cleared a little bit. Sara stared at Gil, and he looked back at her. Sara was angry, depressed, scared, and hurt. Then, everything went black.

---

Sara opened her eyes and looked around, she was in an ambulance. There were people standing around her, including Grissom.

"Where am I?" Sara managed to say.

"We're going to take you to the hospital." A paramedic said to her. "It's going to be alright." Sara felt the ambulance stop and she was taken inside. Everything went black again.

----------------
~saraa_*
 
“Grissom? Grissom!”
“Huh?!”
This situations was very much like the one earlier that night on the cold parkinglot of the Lab. Again Grissom held his knees to his chest and buried his face in them. Catherine could tell he was crying.
“What did you do to her!”
Catherine shouted, as a nurse shot her an angry glance she quickly lowered the volume of her voice.
“I knocked on her door, and she wouldn’t open it.” Grissom had a lot of trouble to keep talking. It was like all the energy he once had had been sucked out of him.“ I immediately knew something was wrong so I tried to open it throwing my weight against the door. That didn’t work so I pulled the gun Brass made me carry and shot the lock.” Catherine almost grinned as she thought of the conversation Brass and Grissom had had a couple of months ago. “ When I walked inside I found her on the couch.” Grissom couldn’t go on. The man who once was so strong was weak. Sara, the one person who he had ever loved, tried to kill herself because of him. Because he was too afraid to just to dinner with her, a simple first step in a possible relationship. Catherine felt the anger flow away and sat on the ground next to Gil. “She slid her wrists Cath! She had her gun next to her! We could have lost her. How can I be that stupid!”
“Can we see her?”
“No, they won’t let me in…”
Considering the state Grissom was in she couldn’t blame the hospital staff.

<three hours later>
They hadn’t spoken, they just sat there. Catherine had her arm around Grissom. Although he was, according to her and himself, the stupidest man in the universe, she still felt sorry for him. He was a very strange person but somehow Catherine appreciated having him around her during cases. Maybe just because apart from her daughter, sister and colleagues he didn’t have time for anyone. Stop thinking Catherine, this is not the time to feel sorry for yourself! One of your close friends and colleagues is in there with a deathwish, you should worry about her!

A nurse came out of the room.
“She’s fine Mr Grissom”
“Can I go and see her?”
“No, she has asked not to let anybody with her except for a Greg Sanders and a Catherine Willows”
Catherine quickly got up and showed her ID to the nurse.
“I’m Catherine Willows, can I go in?”
The nurse nodded at her and Cath slipped in.
Gil knew that he wasn’t going to be allowed to get in the room but he couldn’t leave Sara like this.

Once again, Grissom has a major problem, and it is called Sara.
 
Sara's side to Chapter Four

Sara woke up. A nurse was looking at her wounds. Sara changed her position and the nurse realized she was awake. The nurse sat beside Sara. Sara looked away, it was awkward, looking at someone who had just stopped you from killing yourself.

"Hi Sara." The nurse said. Sara looked back at her.

"Hi." Sara said quietly. "I regret... trying to do what I did."

"Good." The nurse said. "There's a man outside the door, a Gil.. Gil Grissom. Is it okay if he comes in?"

"Umm... I'd rather not." Sara answered. The nurse nodded and got up. "But if Greg Sanders or Catherine Willows comes, could you send them in?"

"Sure." The nurse said. Sara smiled. The nurse went to the other side of the room. Sara heard voices outside, in the hallway. It was Catherine, and she was yelling. Then, she heard Grissom's voice. Sara turned and stared at the wall. As she lyed on the white hospital bed, she slowly fell asleep.

<three hours later>

Sara woke up and the nurse was re-wrapping her wrist. Sara glanced at her arm and she wondered what would have happened if she had used the gun instead.

The nurse looked at Sara, and noticed that she was awake now. "Hi Sara, it's good that you're sleeping."

"Is there anyone outside the door?" Sara asked.

"The man and a blonde lady are sitting on the ground." The nurse said.

"Can you let the man know that I'm alright and if the lady wants to come in, she can." Sara said. The nurse nodded and opened the door, Sara heard her talking to Gil and Catherine.

"She's fine Mr Grissom." The nurse said softly.

"Can I go and see her?" Grissom asked. Sara grinned to herself, he probably wanted to apologize. She wondered how awkward that would be.

"No, she has asked not to let anybody in with her except for a Greg Sanders and a Catherine Willows." The nurse explained. I wonder what he thinks about that, Sara thought to herself.

"I'm Catherine Willows, can I go in?" Catherine asked. Sara watched the nurse nod and let Catherine in. Catherine stood for a moment, and Sara looked at her worried face.

-------------
~saraa_*
 
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