Re: "For Warrick" Season Premiere Discussion *SPOILERS*
*lurks in* I know I'm not around much, but this ep was AMAZING. Here's my little take on it. You know I'm a GSR fan, so it might be heavy on that, but it's mostly about Gil and Warrick, their relationship, and how this ep ROCKED my socks off:
Let's start with Gil holding Warrick. His whispered "please" reminds me of when Sara was in peril in the hands of a demented man ranting on about vibrations. In this highly stressful situations, when Gil feels completely helpless, he often utters "please." I love it, because he's trying to coax Warrick into staying with him. He's holding the man as the blood floods from his body, determination in his eyes. Gil can tell that there is something Warrick wants to convey, but he is unable to gurgle past the blood pouring from his body. Gil watches him dying, and it's so heartbreaking, because every time something horrible happened in the past, there was a quest to go on. There was some glimmer of hope. Yes, Nicky was buried underground, but there were clues to follow and even though there was not much time, it was there. When Sara was kidnapped and stuck under a car, again, there was hope.
In this moment, though, as Gil holds Warrick, the rational part of him knows that this man losing this much blood with no paramedics nearby will probably not survive, which is why I believe he shouts at McKeen, trying to get the paramedics there, willing them to magically teleport to his position to save the man he cares about. I love that he can't leave the scene, that he can barely move from it. When Greg was assaulted in Fannysmackin, Sara would not leave him. She came for him. This time, Gil came for Warrick, and he can't leave.
Even when Ecklie offers him a ride, he says he's going with Warrick. It reminded me of Warrick and Cath riding with Nick in Grave Danger, and Gil shouting out "I'm going with you" to the helicopter pilot when they found Sara. Gil wants to go along, but this time, again, the joy is gone, but he still feels the obligation to be there with his friend, and that alone, is extremely powerful.
They strip him of his clothing, of the blood-stained clothing that may never return to his wardrobe. So many times he's stripped others of their clothing as evidence, but this time that shirt will never be his again. It doesn't matter what positive memories might be attached to it, or who gave it to him, or what funny story of spilt ketchup might have once been assigned to it. All that is gone and now it is only evidence in a bag. I know that sounds bleak, but it's so heart-wrenching to me.
He walks through those familiar halls, so dejected, and the camera follows him, as once Sara did in pursuit of his time for, perhaps, a meal. This time, we're following him in a seemingly aimless walk ending in his office, where he finds something he never expected. There she stands, and for this time, none of what has transpired between them matters. Any bad tastes left in their mouths from how she departed need not be addressed, because in this moment she is there for him and his needs moreso than her own. She often in the episode seems out of place in Vegas, to no longer consider it her present and future, but in this moment, she just holds him.
It's very much her supporting him. He buries his head in her shoulder as she holds her hand high on his back, keeping him steady, letting him know that it's ok to let it out. Since walking in the doors, since the moment Warrick died, he's been holding it in. He's been just going through the motions, but in this moment, in her arms, he chokes up, and allows himself to feel a bit of the dispair he's been bottling inside.
When we come back, they're hand in hand, across from one another, and he's telling her about what happened. At first, the "Tell Me" from Sara bothered me, but the more I think about it, it's her coaxing him not to hold it in. Several years back, he demanded answers out of her in her apartment as she weeped out a story she dared not say before. It was a horrible burden to bear, but having someone else there to carry it made it easier, and I feel like she is offering that to him when she says, "Tell me." It's not about her being nosy or trying to pry, but giving him the ok to talk about it, and what's even more remarkable, is that he takes it. He opens up to her, and tells her things that he probably could not tell anyone else.
When the others walk in, their hands separate, but linger slightly, as though sharing that last bit of support and love before rejoining the group. When they got together, Gil and Sara tried to keep their romance separated from their work, so it makes sense that though they are no longer in hiding, they're still not going to be too incredibly overt in front of everyone. When Sara hugs the others, there's so much to be told in each hug. The women embrace as though none of the fighting and getting Sara suspended ever happened. The bad attitude we saw when Sara first came to Vegas is no longer there, and it's so refreshing. Sara and Greg hug as a brother and sister who've been apart for a while, and Nick and Sara embrace like best friends. Sara's hand lingers on his shoulder, knowing he must burden the loss of a best friend. Once upon a time, Warrick held a coin in his hand, worried that its flip sealed the fate of his best friend. Nick might blame himself, worrying that if he had walked Warrick out of the restaurant instead of flirting none of this would have happened. It's a burden too big for him to bear on his own, but he seems unable to let it out for fear he might break.
The four turn to their leader, and it feels almost like the beginning, except one very important face is missing. The blocking of that moment pulls at my heart strings every time, and I start to reminisce about assignment slips and group talks around a table. Gil has been their leader through so much, but now it's time for all of them to come together. Sara jumps right in wanting to help, and Greg, eager to keep busy, latches on. Nick focuses on the job, on his determination, on what he hopes to accomplish, and Catherine is more than ready to be on that level with him. They are a team. They work as one.
Sara and Greg's look into Warrick's life is telling. He probably has only had the apartment for a short time since I believe his marriage only ended last year. Perhaps he finds it hard to settle in on his own, but the picture of his friends, all together, badly photoshopped or not, shows the level of adoration he had for that group. They were family. They are family, and right now, they are the grieving victims every bit as much as they are the investigators on a search for justice. We can debate whether or not this would happen in real life until the end of time (thought it probably would not), but that's not the point here. The point is, they're hurting.
They search for clothing to bury their friend in, a suit that makes him look sharp, a tie to compliment him, something to make him look dignified. He's going into the ground, and though they know that his body will be cut into for an autopsy, though they know the process for preparing a body for burial, they still see the man, living and breathing, smiling, encouraging.
One of the last times Sara saw Warrick was in the locker room in "Goodbye and Good Luck." He offered her encouragement, saying he wasn't worried about her, letting her know he thought she was going to be ok, that she was still loved. Now, Sara can offer that a little bit back in helping bury him.
Sara's little speech within the scene is also very telling of how she has changed since leaving Vegas. She mentions how she used to make her bed in case she never came home, and that hit me really hard. I've worked in news, and sometimes things can get so dark. You sit there in a dark newsroom on the night shift, surrounded by people who constantly voice their desire for a shooting, preferably a violent one, maybe a double shooting. It gets into your blood, and it aches. After a while, it's too much to handle. I believe Sara's desire for justice drove her farther than her heart had strength to take, but now she's living a life without that darkness, without the constant reminders of death and her own mortality. She's finally LIVING with a sight towards a future.
And just as we realize that about Sara, she finds the same attitude mirrored in her friend, Warrick. He has a son, and he's not looking to his past. He wants to look to his future, and he wants to be there for his child. He wants to provide that love for him, and he wants his son to know what kind of man his father was. How poignant and sad to know that Warrick lost his father so young, and now his son will follow in his footsteps.
Sara tells Gil he needs to see the video, and I love that she can get him to stop, to take a moment out of his time to see how much this man really loved him. They had such an amazing relationship in earlier seasons, and it's just so beautiful to see Gil and Sara standing there, and though Warrick never referred to Gil by name, Gil got to know in what high regard he was held. For once, the accolades are not bestowed upon Gil for his scientific prowess, but for his nature as a human being. I doubt Gil ever thought of himself as "nurturing" despite his ability to teach. For one, he gets to see someone who loved him because of the man he is, because of the life he led. I think that could be a driving force for Gil in helping him realize that there is so much more to him than science.
I love that Sara was the one to come up with the break in the case, to figure out what piece of evidence might help them. It reminded me of so many other times that she was the final piece of the puzzle... with the Calendar and fake victim in that one serial killer case, when she told Gil to "think outside the box," when she realized how the wax in "Invisible Evidence" was transferred. There was something about it that showed that maybe she's living another life, but it doesn't mean she's not sharp. She hasn't lost that magic that she has, which might make it harder for Gil to understand why she does not want to return to her life as a CSI. Just because one has skills does not mean one wants to spend a lifetime using that one section of abilities. Sometimes, people have to branch out. Gil spent years encouraging Sara to do that, to try to keep her from chasing rabbits and listening to scanners all the time. She has finally found that place where she's not doing that, but Gil's not quite ready to follow her out.
One of THE MOST intense scenes? Nick standing over McKeen with his gun drawn. Nick turned off his radio, separated himself from everyone else, and stood there over the man who murdered his friend in cold blood while dealing with taunts. McKeen does all he can to convince Nick to shoot him, from being coy about his death, to bemoaning how he couldn't help telling the man he got to keep his job before ripping his future from him. When Nick fired his gun, my heart lept in my throat because he loved Warrick so intensely, and a part of him might want revenge, but the other part of him, the part we love, kicked in. His heart and compassion overrides his rage, and he does what he knows Warrick would have wanted him to do. He lets the police take him in so he can rot in jail.
The funeral scene breaks my heart, and I have to think that it must have been so painful to pack for the return to Vegas and that even that act of packing, of preparing funeral clothing, can be so disconcerting and heartbreaking.
The Lord's Prayer leads into Gil's speech, and the verse they start on really jumps out at me. "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil." In the CSI life, you do spend a lot of time around death. You spend so much time entrenched in it, but there can be a light in the darkness, and it's just powerful to me to start there.
Gil walks up to the podium, and his prepared speech is a far cry from the napkin he once passed off to Catherine as a speech in honor of Conrad Ecklie. He speaks of loss, and the whole point of this episode comes back to where it began. It's all about Warrick. For Gil, this is the first time he's had to bury one of his team. Yes, we can count Holly Gribbs, but they barely knew one another. Tragic? Yes, but for Gil, this is so much harder. He tries to talk about the kind of man Warrick was, to emphasize all his amazing qualities, and what a light he was, but when he comes around to the team breakfast, it's as though he falls apart a little.
This pain within his heart that he's tried to bottle up escapes from his lips as he proclaims to everyone how much he will miss that man, tears in his eyes. Gil covers his mouth, as though embarrassed by the words coming out of it, as another layer of the protective armor he's spent so many years wearing falls away.
Though he may not have had the best storylines, he was a heartbeat in the team. He was there from day one, and he was there for his friends in so many ways on so many assignments. I remember Gil and Warrick playing chess while a bus turned its wheels behind them. I remember the team running the race together, embracing one another so tightly. I remember him in the back of the ambulance as his best friend rode away from the worst experience of his life. Warrick was so important to this team, that for this one episode, they put aside any problems the might have with one another and just focused on their love for a life cut tragically too short.
Next week may hold more drama, but I am perfectly fine with that, because this week we saw our team as a broken family, each with their own ways of coping, each trying to keep it together, but each breaking under the surface. They did their job, but at the end, they didn't go out to the diner to celebrate the capture of a killer. They gathered in a church to say goodbye to someone they loved. Not a "see you tomorrow," but a final "goodbye." At least, in this life.
RIP Warrick Brown. Fictional as you may be, you've been an amazing part of this show and have hopefully helped change the future of all the remaining characters for the rest of the series.