Fire & Ice ( Ryan Wolfe Mystery )

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Kaunis Mies, Sep 26, 2011.

  1. Kaunis Mies

    Kaunis Mies Pathologist

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    Chapter Five

    The day had finally come for Ryan to confess the other part of the story to the team and also Speed had something to confess as well and Ryan was in the locker room with the others ready to confess his secret but deep down Ryan was scared of their reaction but not of Speed...

    Ryan admits " I was the one who killed Stetler and Donner as Speed asked me to and now i hated Stetler and it felt so good to kill the son of a bitch and Donner well that was Speed's choice as he told me what she did which wasnt nice so i took her out with one shot and in case you wondered why there was no trace only the DNA of the victim well i cleaned up both times as Stetler was first then three nights later it was Donner's turn to be killed which made me feel good and FYI the cold trails of each case? Well that was down to Madison who did that everytime and no charges can be taken against any of us as that was our deal with the boss of MI6 in Biscayne and right now i dont know what you all think but what i do know is that killing those two for Speed felt fantastic and i know Speed has something to admit as well so i'll let him tell you"...

    Speed admits to the team " There's another reason why i took Ryan under my wing and the reason is very simple - Ryan's my younger brother well half brother but i think of Ryan like my whole brother and least that one's out but Ryan is hiding a different secret but wont be revealed for some time to come but what i wanna know is - What did you think of Madison when you saw her that night?"...

    Alexx replies " I liked her and least Ryan is happy which is the main thing for me and one of my babies is happy and the same can be said about you and Horatio's relationship, Speed" and Horatio's face turns red with shock and admits " It's true and i owe Ryan for giving me Speed and our relationship is solid" and then Speed replies " Damn right" which makes the others laugh at Speed's comment when Ryan gets a call from Madison's doctor and rushes off to see her as she was in Dade Memorial after an accident which totally scares Ryan witless and when he sees Madison in the ICU it pains Ryan in his heart and walks inside and gently traces Madison's cheek with his knuckles when Speed and the others appear clearly worried about Ryan and they see Madison lying seriously ill in a hospital bed and Speed enters the room to comfort his half brother and whispers " They're gonna be ok i promise" and Ryan slowly nods while Madison hadnt woken up yet and the team felt at a loss on what to do when Calleigh speaks " Let's catch the asshole who did this!!"...

    Speed watches Ryan being upset since he found out a few hours ago and the doctors had said that the baby was alive which came as some sort of hope to Ryan but all he wanted was for Madison to wake up and make Ryan's wish come true and Ryan knew that he wouldnt be able to move on if he lost Madison...

    It had been a few weeks since the hit and run while the team caught the person who caused it and Ryan kept watch over Madison every day and only left to change and shower until one winter's day, Ryan had closed his eyes and was sleeping when he felt something on his right shoulder which startled him to his funny bone then opened both eyes and looked up half sleepy to realise that his wish might of come true and Ryan hoped that he wasnt seeing double but shook his head when a hand was placed on top of his and it made Ryan tingle all over...

    What has got Ryan all in a tizz??
     
  2. BlueDiamondStar

    BlueDiamondStar Coroner

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    Whoooosh!
    Not that "big boom" what I expected but don't mind this either.
    I'm kinda picky but I can manage

    Well my guess is that Madison woke up and touched Ryan.

    Another thing- I know this is ff, but for some reason the "big reveal" felt too peachy/sweet-ish. Yeah I'm used to old fashioned style.
    I was wondering what were the real emotions of the team. Didn't seem they're too "touched" or anything.

    Oh I'm bit moody tonight.
    But I'm just trying out "constructive criticism" for once. Been promising to myself to try this out.

    No offence, but seriously (you've been told that by someone else too) it's kinda hard to follow up if there's barely any commas/points. The sentences seem so long.
    I missed more emotional background (like inner thoughts on subject).
    I can't just take it mostly like direct speech etc like-ish (if you catch my drift)

    Ok I better slink off before I say something really "snarky much"
     
  3. Kaunis Mies

    Kaunis Mies Pathologist

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    I've got more of this sequal which might be the final nail in the coffin for posting fics here
     
  4. BlueDiamondStar

    BlueDiamondStar Coroner

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    Good you have more.
    Sad you won't post.
    Where will you post then?
    I know I promised to get you on ff.net one day. I'll keep my promises:) I just need more space at pc which isn't mine (if you catch my drift).
    Will you read my ffs here? If I get some drabbles.
     

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