Favorite TV Show Quotes

A

AlyssaluvsDanny

Coroner
I searched the thread and I didn't see this, so, if it's already been brought up, mods, feel free to lock. :D

Anyways, what are your favorite quotes? I find myself quoting Red Dwarf a lot.

Lister: Kryten, what is this?
Kryten:It's a carrot, sir.
Lister. Kryten, you know how I feel about raw vegetables. They're for health nuts, vitamin freaks, [/b]people who exercise![/b]
 
Will and Grace, baby!!!

Will: This isn't weird, gay republicans are weird!!! This is SICK!

Karen: Hi poodle, love your scooter.
Jack: Love your hooters.

Jack: Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present to you, fresh from 45 minutes of buttrobics, I give you... MY ASS!!!

Will: You think Grace and I should get married? Funny.
Grace: This would be us two weeks in. Honey, I'm having an affair.
Will: Me too!!!
Grace: His name is Donald.
Will: Me too!!!!
 
oh oh oh oh I have A TON of Friends qoutes


heres just a few of them

Phoebe: (upon seeing Chandler and Monica making love through Rosses Window) "Chandler and Monica Chandler and Monica AH MY EYES MY EYES"
Rachel: I Know!!!
Phoebe: You know???!!??
Rachel: Yes I KNOW and Joey knows but Ross doesnt know soooo SSSHHHH (or something to that effect)
***
Ross: Upon seeing Chandler and Monica through his window Knocking on the door furiously "Get off my Sister!!"
Chandler: *looking at Monica* "we had a good run, 5 ,6 months thats more then some people have in a life time *all sarcastic like*
****
and Rachel: *Lying to Joey about why she's upset* Its My Boss
Joey: Yeah
Rachel: and My Baby *Joey looks at her* My Boss wants to buy my Baby!"




thats it for now I'll be back later with more
 
madgeorge said:
Will: You think Grace and I should get married? Funny.
Grace: This would be us two weeks in. Honey, I'm having an affair.
Will: Me too!!!
Grace: His name is Donald.
Will: Me too!!!!
Click to expand...
LAMO! :lol: I love Will & Grace.

Will: Did you eat salami today?
Grace: No. Did you wash your face with ugly soap? :lol:

Just a few from Friends. I narrowed it down from about 5000! :lol:

Ross: Chandler entered a Vanilla Ice look-alike contest and won!
Chandler: Ross came fourth and cried!

Ross: What are you doing?
Chandler: Making chocolate milk. You want some?
Ross: No thanks, I'm 29.

Rachel: Can you take care of Emma just for today?
Ross: Sure, just lend me your breasts and we'll be on our way. :lol:
 
Simpsons ones (that I adore):

Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

Ralph Wiggum: Hi super nintendo Chalmers!

And this one from NCIS which I loved:

Gibbs: Ducky. I'm not interested in what happened to him after he died.
Ducky: Well I'm surprised to hear you say that, Gibbs. You know post-mortem details can be extremely revealing. Remember that case, four years ago, where the young Marine was buried in an anthill up to his neck?
Gibbs: Ducky. Eight years ago.
Ducky: No, it can't be eight years. No, I know it wasn't. Four years ago, your third wife hit you over the head with a baseball bat, and I distinctly remember the ant-eaten Marine on that table there while I stitched you up.
 
Palm said:
Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."
Click to expand...
:lol: That is one of my fave Simpsons quotes ever.

Others from The Simpsons:

Homer: Do you want to change your name to Homer, Jr.? The kids can call you HoJu.

Bart: Dad, What's a Muppet?
Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, it's not quite a puppet, but man... (laughs then pauses) So to answer your question, I don't know.
 
The only one I can think of right now is from Scrubs (there are lots more, but can't be bothered to look)

Dr Cox: And the category is...*ding* Things that have a better chance of happening then you winning the lottery. Tedski? 10 seconds on the game clock for me would ya please?
Ted: Go!
Dr Cox: Brain transplants, Britney Spears having another hit record, the Rolling Stones going on a farewell tour and actually meaning it, me caring about anything that happens on Wisteria Lane, Jessica Simpson winning an Oscar, Jessica Alba winning an Oscar, Jessica Simpson becoming Jessica Alba Simpson...
Ted: Time!
 
Law & Order SVU has some great quotes:

perp: honey, I'd like a mineral water, no ice.
Olivia Benson: And I'd like your balls in a blender, but ain't life a bitch


John Munch: Detective Tutuola, come and pollute your soul with child porn, my friend.


Alex Cabot: At some point, we've all thought that justice means 'an eye for an eye.' But 'an eye for an eye' leaves the whole world blind.



there's a lot more, but I can't think of them right now :D
 
Fawlty Towers!!!

If you haven't seen "Fawlty Towers" I DEMAND that you run, not walk, immediatly to the nearest video store and rent the complete set on DVD(they only ever made 12 episodes, :(:(:() because NOBODY should have to live without Fawlty Towers' amazing humour.

To clear any confusion up, Basil owns a hotel with his wife Sybil, thier sarcastic maid Polly, and Manuel, their Spanish waiter who can barely speak English.

QUOTES:

Basil Fawlty: [two guests are speaking to Basil in German] Oh, you're German. I'm sorry, I thought there was something wrong with you.

Basil Fawlty: *points to Sybil* This, Basil's wife.
Basil Fawlty: *point at self*This, Basil. *holds up hand* This, smack on head. *hits Manuel in the head*

Basil Fawlty: Manuel...
*hits Manuel in face with a spoon*
Basil Fawlty: ...You're a waste of space.

Basil Fawlty: If you bother me again I shall visit you in the small hours of the night and put a bat up your nightdress.

Basil Fawlty: Manuel, go and get me a hammer
Manuel: Que?
Basil Fawlty: A... hammer
Manuel: Ahhhhh, a hammer sandwich!
Basil Fawlty: Oh, must we go through this every time? A hammer.
Manuel: You want to see my hamster?
Basil Fawlty: No, not your hamster. How could I knock a nail in with a hamster? Well... I could try, couldn't I?
*walks away*
Basil Fawlty: Get a hhhammer and hhhit you on the hhhead with it.

Honestly, funniest show of my life. It's really something everyone should check out.

John Cleese played Basil, I mean, how much more awesome could it get?
 
Hilarious!

One of my favorite Friends quotes ...

Phoebe: Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to. Yours can say "Ross Gellar: Good At Marriage". I want mine to say "Phoebe Buffet: Buried Alive"

Oh yeah and from House ...

House: I like my coffee how I like my brain damaged doctors, black.
[not trying to be racist or anything, but that makes me crack up everytime]

Keep in mind these are all from memory so I might have messed up on some of them.
 
these are from entourage one of my fave shows ever.
-Turtle: We saw Kristin in the middle of 40 Deuce with her hands down Vince Vaughn's pants.
Eric: She had her hands down his pants?
Johnny Drama: Yeah, both of 'em.
Eric: Vince Vaughn? That puffy motherfucker?
Johnny Drama: Nah, bro, he didn't look puffy at all... He was lookin' reeeeal good.
Turtle: Yeah, it was kinda like "Swingers" Vince Vaughn, not Old School Vince Vaughn... it's kinda like Neeewww Schoool Vince Vaughn.
-Ari: Call me Helen Keller because I'm a fucking miracle worker!
-Ari: We are gonna get drunk with Russell Crowe and we're gonna head-butt some goddamn kangaroos.

and from NCIS
-agent dude: NCIS anything like CSI?
DiNozzo: Only if you're dyslexic
-Gibbs: DiNozzo! Why are you touching his face?
DiNozzo: I don't know. It's soft, like touching a bunny rabbit.
Gibbs: Don't!
-Jimmy: We were hanging out, listening to Dashboard Confessional.
Tony: Emo.
Gibbs: Emo?
Tony: Emotional music. Gotta get a radio, Gibbs.
 
Seth Cohen- “Well, at least I don’t shave my chest.”
Luke- “What did you say?”
Seth- “I just said you look nice in a sweater vest. It was a compliment.”


oh and this one:
'Oh Snap!'

These sayings are all thanks to Seth Cohen from The OC. I loved these sayings. I used to say them religiously.
 
I dont remember the EXACT qoute because its been a long while since I saw Will and Grace
but I remember one that was something to this effect
Grace: (all hysterical to Will) and then Some Sara Michelle,Jennifer Love,Felicity THING called me MAAM?? Do I look like a Maam??!??
 
Proverbs from Thomas Banacek (George Peppard):

"A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn."

"A wise man never tries to warm himself in front of a painting of a fire."

"A wolf that takes a peasant to supper probably won't need any breakfast."

"When an owl comes to a mouse picnic, it's not there for the sack races."

"Twelve good horses and silver candlesticks won't stop the snow from falling in Bialystock."

"No matter how warm the smile on the face of the sun, the cat still has her kittens under the porch."

"Only someone with nothing to be sorry about smiles back at the rear end of an elephant."

"Though the hippopotamus has no sting on its tail, the wise man would still rather be sat on by a bee."

"If your socks are not in your shoes, don't look for them in Heaven."

"Even a thousand szloty note can't tapdance."
 
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