I think having an alcoholic father and being a survivor of domestic violence are both very defining characteristics- equally so. Without going into too much detail, my childhood wasn't all that different from Calleigh's. Having an alcoholic parent isn't something that magically gets easier once you're an adult and out of the house. It affects you long after that. It changes your entire perspective on life- it affects how you make friends, choose romantic partners, and form other relationships. It feels like a perpetual shameful secret. It makes you feel lonely. That's why there are support groups like Al-Anon for friends and family members of alcoholics- just as there are support groups for women affected by domestic violence.
I am a child of physical and verbal abuse every day of my childhood. I know what it's like to feel hopeless, helpless and alone. I know what it's like to try and run and hide, but there is no one to run to. I know what it's like to cry youself to sleep and hurt so bad you just want to die! I know that it's like to try and hide the belt marks and bruises from classmates so they won't guess I'm living in hell.
The physical as well as emotional ramifications last for the rest of your life. You're right. It does define how you choose to be as an adult and the relationships in your life.
But at some point you have to take control of your life and others become more important than you and your past. You decide to suck it up and get past the pity party. You have to decide if you're going to turn it around and use that life experience to become a better person.
I don't see Calleigh having an alcoholic father as an "excuse". I see it as it is- a lifelong wound that has a significant impact on a person long after childhood. It's always there.
I've been in therapy since I was 9. I'm still in therapy more than a decade later. My therapist is an incredibly perceptive person. It's amazing how something painful or difficult in your life that you think has to do with a personal weakness can actually be traced back to your feelings about and the actions of an alcoholic parent during your childhood. Dealing with it is a lifelong process.
I agree that dealing with abuse in your childhood is a lifelong process. My heart breaks when I see a child who has been abused, because I've been there. The sympathy and empathy I feel for those children knows no limit. I'm sure it's the same with the children of alcoholics.
But as I said, at some point you have to decide that you aren't going to let it rule you. You take your life back.
The writers on this show use Calleigh's alcoholic father as an excuse and I've seen endless posts that assign every misstep she makes to the fact that she's still dealing with being the child of an alcoholic. Again, at some point you have to stand up and take responsibility for your own actions and not let actions that you had no control over define you as a human being.
If they could show Calleigh making the decision to move on and asserting herself, like she did at the close of "Under the Influence", that might get my attention. Right now I see her using Duke's alcohol issues as a crutch and excuse for all her problems.
The writers are doing the same thing with Horatio. We're seeing all this "dark" persona and him doing things that are obviously something totally wrong for the character, and we're left to assume that it's because Marisol died (will that horrible storyline ever end! :scream
Horatio ALWAYS had a sadness about him, but he channeled it into positive action. No more. Now, instead of shooting everyone who crosses his path, he just beats them up!
I don't excuse him at all for his actions. He's wrong. His childhood was apparently a nightmare (been there, done that) and he's suffered a substantial number of losses in his life. That is no excuse for his actions. What he's doing is on HIM and he needs to take responsibility.
The difference is that, once someone finally gets in Horatio's face and makes him see that the crap he's pulling is wrong, I don't see him blaming it on his childhood or the losses he's suffered. I see him saying he was wrong and taking responsibility. Just my take on the character - others are sure to disagree.
But they need to get a freaking psychiatrist on the payroll for this show if you're going to turn all your characters into a psychological mess!
Just my opinion. Others may differ. Disagreeing in a civil manner is what this county is supposed to be about.
They could have done some really remarkable things with both Calleigh and Horatio and their pasts. They elected not to. As a result I find Calleigh boring and, at this moment where they going with Horatio is really annoying the heck out of me!
Natalia's backstory may be more "interesting", but Calleigh's is just as real. I'm living proof, and there are many others in the same position.
For some, I'm sure your right. Just not me. You identify with Calleigh because it speaks to you. I get it. I just don't find her character sympathetic.
I don't doubt that Eva LaRue is a good actress. I think Jon, Omar, and Rex are also great. I just found Natalia more enjoyable when she was more of a background character.
To each his own. I'm enjoying Calleigh in the background or gone while it lasts. I think Natalia is lead character material and would love to see her new-found screen presence continue.
Maybe they can find a way to make us both happy.
EDIT: Apologies for being so long-winded!
Okay, I'm probably going to open myself up to all kinds of flame here, but I'm really surprised that so many people seem to have given up on Horatio. This whole darkside thing is clearly a plot device of some kind, I would like to believe the writers aren't THAT stupid as to turn Horatio into a villain. To do such a thing would kill the show, IMO, and I don't believe they want the show to go out that way.
No flames here, sweetie. I agree with you completely.
Yes, he is not himself and he the things he is doing are wrong. But who honestly believes that he is NOT going to get called on his behavior and be forced to confront it? And when that does happen, I seriously doubt he is going to shrug and be okay with it. It will be a wake up call.
Again, I totally agree. I just hope he's called on it sooner than later!
I also think if this were any other character such as Calleigh, Eric, Ryan, Natalia, etc., we would be seeing more board posts showing compassion and concern. Right now, it appears a lot of people are ready to throw Horatio to the wolves and that makes me sad. Maybe other people want to imagine the show without him, but I personally can't.
It's a double-standard, you're right. For some reason there doesn't seem to be a lot of sympathy for Horatio. Don't understand it myself, but I agree it would be nice if the character could be shown the same compassion and understanding as goes out to other characters. He does appear to have the more devasting childhood and to have experienced many more significant losses.
For some reason it appears to be more fun to be negative about him.
Clearly H has problems ...
{snip outstanding synopsis of the sad events in Horatio's life]
Anyone else with that amount of trauma in their life and no real counseling would probably eventually go off the deep end too. :shifty:
Agreed. I keep hearing Rick demanding that Horatio get counseling! He was right and Horatio should have listened.
I think it's a safe bet that repercussions are coming at H, whether it's in the next few eps or at the end of the season. in the meantime, I think DC is doing a great job portraying Horatio's decent into darkness.
I agree!
The episodes for the most part have been a heck of a lot better than some we've seen in the past few seasons, IMO, and I think that is because of better writing and storylines - not due to any one particular character. After nine seasons, some risks need to be taken to keep the show from getting stale and ultimately cancelled. I, for one, want to see a season 10 happen.
I agree (this is getting a bit repetitive... isnt' is? :lol
I'm truly enjoying this season, if for no other reason that we are seeing the "TEAM" working together and Ryan, Natalia and Frank are coming out of the shadows and into the sun! It's truly a breath of fresh air and I'm going to enjoy every second while it lasts. (And hope it continues!
)
Okay, I'm done ranting. Flame a-way.
For this amazing post? Not a chance!
