Does Danny Seek Out Abuse?

[kissmesweet]

^^ :lol: Agreed. We love him no mattter how messed up he is! rolleyes: Which is saying alot...) Great posts, Top41 & everybody else. It's really interesting to see what everyone thinks of Danny.

I think looking out for Adam was a way of looking out for the weaker side of himself. I do think knowing what he knows about Adam's father played into it, but I suspect Danny was also a victim of abuse of some sort, and he figured if one of them was going to take a beating, it might as well be him.

Well his brother certainly abused him. More verbally than physically, but he still hurt Danny pretty bad.
Poor guy.

 

[chaostheory08]

The fact that he looks up to Louie and whatever he says weighs a lot to him says something about his relationship with his father. And when Louie pushed him away, he had no one to turn to.

He joined the force probably to find a sense of belonging -- something that he didn't find in the mafia life. The life he grew up in failed him so he sought belongingness and approval somewhere else. And that somewhere else turned out to be the NYPD.

Once he got in, he wanted to prove that a mafia kid can kick ass, too. He was picked by Mac and ever since, he's trying to live up to that. He finds a dad in him. And then he finds a brother in Flack.

Idk where Lindsey comes in to his picture (not that I care lol) though.

 

[lookaboomerang]

I don't think Danny ever had a positive male influence in his life. I think Dad was too busy taking care of his own business and Louie was always off doing something else and came back home showing it. I think he kinda had to learn on his own how to be a man.

I think he's been trying to find that in Mac and tries a little too hard to impress him and Mac sees through it and shoots him down. When that happens, he probably feels useless and makes him spiral even more.

As for being set up for hurt in relationships, what else could you expect? It's what he knows. Hurt by dad and brother, his best girl friend is killed by someone who should have been locked up. I don't think he knows how to form positive relationships with people. It seems like he gets just so far and then he starts self destructing and pushing them away because he's afraid of getting too close and may have to deal with the potential loss of them. The only person who's been a constant in his life so far, is Flack. Who, I think, even though they seem to be peers, is Danny's biggest role model and best friend. He's always there for him and the only one who's constantly got his back.

 

[Orison]

Top41 said:
So yeah, he is pretty screwed up. :lol: I think it makes him more interesting though.

That's what drew me to him in the first place. I tend to get attached to "screwed up heroes" on TV shows...

lookaboomerang, I totally agree with every word you wrote. That's a quite accurate portrait of Danny and who he really is.

I'd love to see more of his relationship with Mac next year, if Danny's going to have issues because of his injured hand it would be nice to see Mac concerned about him.

 

[chaostheory08]

Yeah, I agree too.

And when he begins to develop a closeness, he drives it away. Afraid of what it can do to him since it is unchartered territories.

 

[Top41]

lookaboomerang said:
I don't think Danny ever had a positive male influence in his life. I think Dad was too busy taking care of his own business and Louie was always off doing something else and came back home showing it. I think he kinda had to learn on his own how to be a man.

I think he's been trying to find that in Mac and tries a little too hard to impress him and Mac sees through it and shoots him down. When that happens, he probably feels useless and makes him spiral even more.

Yeah--it definitely seemed like he hit rock bottom at the end of season one when Mac told Danny "we'll see" when Danny asked if he and Mac were okay. I feel like Danny's always been looking for more from Mac than maybe Mac can give. It's got to be kind of draining to come to work and have an employee looking to you not just as a boss but as a father figure. I think Mac feels bad for Danny, but I'm not sure he's ready to play daddy to him.

As for being set up for hurt in relationships, what else could you expect? It's what he knows. Hurt by dad and brother, his best girl friend is killed by someone who should have been locked up. I don't think he knows how to form positive relationships with people. It seems like he gets just so far and then he starts self destructing and pushing them away because he's afraid of getting too close and may have to deal with the potential loss of them.

Not even just loss--the other person actually abandoning him. Louie pushed him away, and that seemed to define their relationship. Danny was avoiding him after he got out of jail not because he thought Louie was a deadbeat or trouble, but most likely because he was afraid Louie was going to hurt and abandon him again.

The only person who's been a constant in his life so far, is Flack. Who, I think, even though they seem to be peers, is Danny's biggest role model and best friend. He's always there for him and the only one who's constantly got his back.

Definitley. I love how Flack can calm Danny down when Danny starts to get worked up emotionally. He got Danny back on track in "Heroes" and his presence in the hospital seemed to comfort Danny in RSRD. And then when Danny was starting to lose faith in the profession in "...Comes Around," Flack was able to get through to him by pointing out the positives in what they do, as meager as they sometimes are. Flack does seem to be the one person Danny trusts not to abandon him.

 

[chaostheory08]

^Yeah.

So where does Lindsey fit in? A constant in his string of girlfriends? My friends and I have been arguing about this -- some say she is that one constant and some say she's no benefit nor detriment to him.

 

[MichelleK]

It just seems that if someone says no or that he can't do that he will run with it anyway.
Lindsay turned him doen a number of times and he still pursued her.
How many times did Mac have to tell Danny about following evidence or dropping cases and he still went and did it anyway.
It seems that although people are looking out for Danny's best interests and his welfare (Mac and Flack in particular) he does't trust them and leads himself up for a fall anyway.
I think trust is his main issue!!

 

[Top41]

MichelleK said:
It just seems that if someone says no or that he can't do that he will run with it anyway.
Lindsay turned him doen a number of times and he still pursued her.

Not exactly. He took no for an answer--he didn't keep asking her out (a la Chase with Cameron on House), but he still went out of his way to show her he'd be there for her. Basically, he acted the part of a doormat, and she let him.

How many times did Mac have to tell Danny about following evidence or dropping cases and he still went and did it anyway.

That's definitely true--it was interesting how Danny would defy Mac while still desperately seeking his approval.

It seems that although people are looking out for Danny's best interests and his welfare (Mac and Flack in particular) he does't trust them and leads himself up for a fall anyway.
I think trust is his main issue!!

I agree. The way he defied Mac and ran out on Flack in On the Job definitely show he has major trust issues. He kind of did the reverse in RSRD, though--he went to Mac with the DNA and took his advise, and when Flack said "we're not going anywhere" he listened and obeyed. But I don't think his trust issues evaporated overnight--I think he was pretty much at the end of his rope there.

chaostheory08 said:
So where does Lindsey fit in? A constant in his string of girlfriends? My friends and I have been arguing about this -- some say she is that one constant and some say she's no benefit nor detriment to him.

I really don't think he quite has a "string of girlfriends" but he's obviously very attached to Lindsay. I think he's setting himself up to get hurt because she's so self-involved and he basically has set up the relationship so that she knows she can walk all over him (by being there for her no matter how poorly she treats him). I don't think it's healthy. Not having seen any of Danny's past relationships, it's hard to judge his overall dating history, but my guess would be that unhealthy relationships are a pattern for him.

 

[La_Guera]

7 - Flack got blown up.

I'm sorry, but Flack getting blown up did not happen to Danny. Nor did Aiden being murdered; that happened to Flack and Aiden respectively. Flack, dammit; Aiden, dammit. They did not plan these acts to stick the screws to Danny Messer. They were victims, and while what happened to them should certainly affect Danny, I don't think they belong on a list of things All About Him.

Why do people prate about no one being there for Danny? Flack has consistently been there for Danny throughout the show; Aiden invited him to dinner before she died, and Mac braved lung cancer to clear him despite a mountain of circumstantial evidence. Not to mention Louie getting his brains beat in. People have been there, have sacrificed for Danny, but he chooses to ignore those moments and gestures in favor of adding to his pile of imagined slights and woes.

Honestly, if Danny wants support, maybe he should offer it. He offered it Lindsay because he wants to taste her panty manna, but he left Flack high and dry in the hospital, and God knows if he blew off Aiden's invitations. Danny has a habit of being a friend only when there's something in it for him, and thus, I'm not at all sympathetic to poor little Danny Messer and his emotional boo-boos.

 

[chaostheory08]

I really don't think he quite has a "string of girlfriends" but he's obviously very attached to Lindsay. I think he's setting himself up to get hurt because she's so self-involved and he basically has set up the relationship so that she knows she can walk all over him (by being there for her no matter how poorly she treats him). I don't think it's healthy. Not having seen any of Danny's past relationships, it's hard to judge his overall dating history, but my guess would be that unhealthy relationships are a pattern for him.

*cues These Boots Are Made For Walking*

 

[Top41]

La_Guera said:
I'm sorry, but Flack getting blown up did not happen to Danny. Nor did Aiden being murdered; that happened to Flack and Aiden respectively. Flack, dammit; Aiden, dammit. They did not plan these acts to stick the screws to Danny Messer. They were victims, and while what happened to them should certainly affect Danny, I don't think they belong on a list of things All About Him.

I think it was the quick succession--first Louie, then Aiden, then Flack. Wouldn't seeing three friends/relatives get hurt/killed in a matter of weeks affect anyone?

Why do people prate about no one being there for Danny?

I think we're talking formative years here--when he was a child--not now. Danny had to get his needy, self-destructive personality from somewhere. :lol:

Flack has consistently been there for Danny throughout the show;

I think just about everyone in this thread has mentioned that.

Aiden invited him to dinner before she died, and Mac braved lung cancer to clear him despite a mountain of circumstantial evidence.

True. Mac's attitude towards Danny has changed since Danny has become a little less needy--well, at least where Mac is involved. I think he's just transferred it to Lindsay.

Not to mention Louie getting his brains beat in.

I saw that as penance--Louie trying to clear Danny so Danny wouldn't go down for something Louie did.

People have been there, have sacrificed for Danny, but he chooses to ignore those moments and gestures in favor of adding to his pile of imagined slights and woes.

I think that's a bit of an inference. Danny seemed genuinely grateful for Flack's presence in RSRD, fondly remembered dinners with Aiden, and was genuinely broken up about his brother.

Honestly, if Danny wants support, maybe he should offer it. He offered it Lindsay because he wants to taste her panty manna, but he left Flack high and dry in the hospital,

True--one of the most disappointing moments for the character in my book, but he does seem to look at Flack as someone who takes care of him, and I guess he wasn't prepared or didn't know how to return the favor. Definitely selfish.

and God knows if he blew off Aiden's invitations.

Another inference--I don't think we have any evidence that he did.

Danny has a habit of being a friend only when there's something in it for him, and thus, I'm not at all sympathetic to poor little Danny Messer and his emotional boo-boos.

I wouldn't quite say he's only a friend when something is in it for him--he desperately tried to make things good with Mac in season one and I think it was pretty clear not for the promotion (he never brought it up again) and he was there for Lindsay even after she turned him down, just like he said he'd be.

 

[MichelleK]

I do think Danny has a very needy and un-trusty characteristic but if I'd ben through what he had I think I would have a hell of alot more wrong than that.

It does seem like as soon as Danny lets someone in, they get hurt or something happens. I'd imagine he does maybe have a passing thought that it could be his fault.
He's gotten better for being there for people I guess: He stuck up for Stella in Cold Reveal and he tried his hardest when being interviewed about Mac in Comes Around. He's constantly been there for Lindsay even though she said she didn't need him. His protection for Adam in the finale and also his friendship with Hawkes has spoke volumes this season too. The only person where I've been disappointed is the way he treats Flack. Flack has shown time and time again he's there for Danny but we've not been shown the other side of the story! Season 4 maybe?

 

[CrushinOnMesser]

Quote:

Honestly, if Danny wants support, maybe he should offer it. He offered it Lindsay because he wants to taste her panty manna, but he left Flack high and dry in the hospital,

True--one of the most disappointing moments for the character in my book, but he does seem to look at Flack as someone who takes care of him, and I guess he wasn't prepared or didn't know how to return the favor. Definitely selfish.

At the time I couldn't understand how Danny could just leave a blown up Flack like that. And honestly I think Danny was just a victim of the writers.

I've noticed that at Danny's low-points, where we are a little disappointed in him or cofused, the spotlight seems to shine somewhere else.

When Flack nearly died the spotlight was fixed on Mac and how he was handling the situation. When Stella got attacked by Frankie, they wanted to show that Lindsay has emotions, so Danny ended up calming her down.

Danny has a personality that can just get your attention. So in a pathetic attempt to showcase others they pushed Danny into the background. This season they focused more on Flack, Hawkes and even Lindsay. Thus Danny became a prop.
(so, so SAD )

 

[Top41]

I think ultimately it was the writers who did Danny wrong in "Charge of This Post" in favor of focusing on Mac and his angst. Danny did have that one mournful look in Flack's room, but having him leave with Lindsay was a mistake. It just made Danny look selfish given that no one has been better to him than Flack.

MichelleK said:
He's gotten better for being there for people I guess: He stuck up for Stella in Cold Reveal and he tried his hardest when being interviewed about Mac in Comes Around. He's constantly been there for Lindsay even though she said she didn't need him. His protection for Adam in the finale and also his friendship with Hawkes has spoke volumes this season too.

Of all the characters, Danny is actually the one who is supportive the most--we've seen him try to help out pretty much everyone but Flack. Flack's focus is mainly Danny, Stella's is mainly Mac, and Lindsay's is mainly Lindsay :lol: (with the exception of bringing Danny the DNA in RSRD) and Hawkes hasn't gotten much of an opportunity to be there for anyone because of his limited screentime, but he did check up on how Flack was doing in the finale.

The only person where I've been disappointed is the way he treats Flack. Flack has shown time and time again he's there for Danny but we've not been shown the other side of the story! Season 4 maybe?

I hope so. We've seen Flack be there to help Danny out emotionally or rescue him that it just seems so incredibly imbalanced. I think Flack definitely looks at Danny as someone he has to protect (he's done it so many times, how could he not? :lol: ), but it would be nice to see Danny give Flack a little emotional support or something like that.