MacsGirlMel
Mac's Personal Assistant
ROFL...You are sooooo pushing the PG-13 meter but I love it anyway
CSI:MIAMI - The Rebel side- Comedy skits
- Thread starter MacsLovlyAngl
- Start date
MacsLovlyAngl
Head of the Graveyard Shift
That Evening 
As "H" got into his Hummer to pick up the gang and take them to reek Havic on Miami, he ran into Natalia. :devil:
"Natalia, said "H", what are you doing around this area"? "You're not here to ride in Betsy Hummer are you"?
"What the hell is Betsy Hummer"? asked Natalia.
"My Hummer you stupid bitch, God no wonder Eric left you, you're to stupid for him".
"Suck my Lemon's Horatio", :devil: and Natalia strolled off.
"I'm gonna run over that bitch some day", said "H" to his Betsy.
Once "H" got to Eric's he had ring his buzzer again
"WHAT", yelled Eric
"Get your Cuban ass down here now, I'm getting tired of having to ring your bell everytime I get here".
As Eric walked out of the apartment he was wearing a lime green shirt. :lol:
"What the hell are you wearing"? "Christ you look like John Travolta, What the hell Eric".
"Listen "H" at least I'm not dressed like a tight ass, suit popping, red haired loser", said Eric. :lol:
"**** you Eric, at least my teeth don't look like a horses mouth". :lol:
"Kiss it "H", "Kiss it "H", said Eric :lol: :lol:
"Listen stop staying everything twice, I know I'm cool and you're proving it by imitating me".
As they left and pulled up into Calleigh's drive way, she was just coming out the front door.
"Hiya' ll said Calleigh. "What's up for tonight ""H"?. :lol:
As Calleigh got in to the Hummer she hit the back of "H"s seat with her knee.
"Watch out for Betsy you dumb ass blonde", said "H"
"Oh relax weasel breath, I didn't hurt your damn Hummer". :lol: :lol:
"Christ Eric , what the hell are you wearing"? "You could light up half of Miami with that shirt". :lol:
Just at that second "H" slammed down on the break.
"What the hell, said Eric.
"Look across the street, looks like a robbery in progress". "WE should investigate"
As they got out of the Hummer, they pulled out their weapons and crossed the street.
"FREEZE", you're under arrest", said "H".
The two guys looked at "H", Calleigh and Eric as they laughed. "Look at this Bob", It's Charlie's Angel's here to arrest us". :lol: :lol:
"Screw you and spread em , NOW" yellled Caleigh.
"What ever Britney", said the guy. :lol:
Calleigh hated that phrase and without warning she shot of the guy's toe".
"What the **** are you insane, you stupid cow, you shot off my toe"
"Next time it wil be your package", Don't ever call me Britney again". :devil:
TBC
As "H" got into his Hummer to pick up the gang and take them to reek Havic on Miami, he ran into Natalia.
:devil: "Natalia, said "H", what are you doing around this area"? "You're not here to ride in Betsy Hummer are you"?
"What the hell is Betsy Hummer"? asked Natalia.
"My Hummer you stupid bitch, God no wonder Eric left you, you're to stupid for him".
"Suck my Lemon's Horatio", :devil: and Natalia strolled off.
"I'm gonna run over that bitch some day", said "H" to his Betsy.
Once "H" got to Eric's he had ring his buzzer again
"WHAT", yelled Eric
"Get your Cuban ass down here now, I'm getting tired of having to ring your bell everytime I get here".
As Eric walked out of the apartment he was wearing a lime green shirt. :lol:
"What the hell are you wearing"? "Christ you look like John Travolta, What the hell Eric".
"Listen "H" at least I'm not dressed like a tight ass, suit popping, red haired loser", said Eric.
:lol:"**** you Eric, at least my teeth don't look like a horses mouth". :lol:
"Kiss it "H", "Kiss it "H", said Eric :lol: :lol:
"Listen stop staying everything twice, I know I'm cool and you're proving it by imitating me".
As they left and pulled up into Calleigh's drive way, she was just coming out the front door.
"Hiya' ll said Calleigh. "What's up for tonight ""H"?. :lol:
As Calleigh got in to the Hummer she hit the back of "H"s seat with her knee.
"Watch out for Betsy you dumb ass blonde", said "H"
"Oh relax weasel breath, I didn't hurt your damn Hummer". :lol: :lol:
"Christ Eric , what the hell are you wearing"? "You could light up half of Miami with that shirt". :lol:
Just at that second "H" slammed down on the break.
"What the hell, said Eric.
"Look across the street, looks like a robbery in progress". "WE should investigate"
As they got out of the Hummer, they pulled out their weapons and crossed the street.
"FREEZE", you're under arrest", said "H".
The two guys looked at "H", Calleigh and Eric as they laughed. "Look at this Bob", It's Charlie's Angel's here to arrest us". :lol: :lol:
"Screw you and spread em , NOW" yellled Caleigh.
"What ever Britney", said the guy. :lol:
Calleigh hated that phrase and without warning she shot of the guy's toe".
"What the **** are you insane, you stupid cow, you shot off my toe"
"Next time it wil be your package", Don't ever call me Britney again".
:devil:TBC
MacsGirlMel
Mac's Personal Assistant
lol at Betsy...this is soooo darn funny!!!
MacsLovlyAngl
Head of the Graveyard Shift
Tripp showed up on scene
"What the hell you guy's up too now"? asked Tripp. "What the hell happened to your foot"?
"She shot it off, stupid cow, get me to the Hospital, you jackass".
"What did you call me, dumb ass", said Tripp.
"Jackass, you know the donkey". "You guy's have to be the stupidest bunch of cops I've ever scene".
"Listen you big fat bastard, we are CSI's, he's the stupid cop", said "H".
"Screw you Horatio" as Tripp kicked Betsy.
"What the hell, you bloody bugger, you kicked Betsy, Look at her, you dumb ass, get down there and clean that spot off now".
"Say another word and I'll kick her again".
As they all started fighting the robbers took off :lol:
"Now look what you did, you moron, they got away", said Calleigh.
"Look there they are let's go", said "H".
As they all loaded into Betsy, "H" took off and cut them off at the pass.
As Tripp and Calleigh exited the Hummer, Calleigh fell over Tripp causing him to fall on the road, while Eric tackled the robbers to the ground. :lol:
"Christ Calleigh, can't you watch the hell you're doing"? asked Tripp. "Look at my new pants, you've put a hole in them".
"Shut up, just shut up, Trippzilla", it's your big feet that got in the way", said Calleigh.
"Can I get some help over here, yelled Eric. "Come on "H", leave that damn Hummer for 5 minutes and get over here and help, you stupid ass Carrot head".
"One more word about my hair Eric, and tell everyone about that night in Todd's bar", said "H". :devil:
"You wouldn't dare"? said Eric.
"I would, and Betsy's been hurt". "Look at the foot mark Tripp put on her, she's never been kicked Eric and she needs me more then you do right now".
"I swear "H", one of these day's I'm going to fill her full of lead", said Eric.
"That's it Eric. "Hey everyone did you know Eric kissed Stetler one night at Todd's bar because he thought it was a girl"? :lol: :lol:
everyone stopped cold dead in their tracks.
"Eric is this true"? said Calleigh laughing. :lol: :lol:
"Shut up DumbCal anyone would have made the same mistake, and I was loaded".
"Christ said Tripp, just when I thought I heard it all".
"TBC
"What the hell you guy's up too now"? asked Tripp. "What the hell happened to your foot"?
"She shot it off, stupid cow, get me to the Hospital, you jackass".
"What did you call me, dumb ass", said Tripp.
"Jackass, you know the donkey". "You guy's have to be the stupidest bunch of cops I've ever scene".
"Listen you big fat bastard, we are CSI's, he's the stupid cop", said "H".
"Screw you Horatio" as Tripp kicked Betsy.
"What the hell, you bloody bugger, you kicked Betsy, Look at her, you dumb ass, get down there and clean that spot off now".
"Say another word and I'll kick her again".
As they all started fighting the robbers took off :lol:
"Now look what you did, you moron, they got away", said Calleigh.
"Look there they are let's go", said "H".
As they all loaded into Betsy, "H" took off and cut them off at the pass.
As Tripp and Calleigh exited the Hummer, Calleigh fell over Tripp causing him to fall on the road, while Eric tackled the robbers to the ground. :lol:
"Christ Calleigh, can't you watch the hell you're doing"? asked Tripp. "Look at my new pants, you've put a hole in them".
"Shut up, just shut up, Trippzilla", it's your big feet that got in the way", said Calleigh.
"Can I get some help over here, yelled Eric. "Come on "H", leave that damn Hummer for 5 minutes and get over here and help, you stupid ass Carrot head".
"One more word about my hair Eric, and tell everyone about that night in Todd's bar", said "H".
:devil:"You wouldn't dare"? said Eric.
"I would, and Betsy's been hurt". "Look at the foot mark Tripp put on her, she's never been kicked Eric and she needs me more then you do right now".
"I swear "H", one of these day's I'm going to fill her full of lead", said Eric.
"That's it Eric. "Hey everyone did you know Eric kissed Stetler one night at Todd's bar because he thought it was a girl"? :lol: :lol:
everyone stopped cold dead in their tracks.
"Eric is this true"? said Calleigh laughing. :lol: :lol:
"Shut up DumbCal anyone would have made the same mistake, and I was loaded".
"Christ said Tripp, just when I thought I heard it all".
"TBC
MacsGirlMel
Mac's Personal Assistant
ROFL Giggle snort....this is just tooooo funny
MacsLovlyAngl
Head of the Graveyard Shift
Once they had the suspects in cuffs, they had Tripp take them to booking.
"See ya Trippzilla", said Calleigh. "Come on "H", let's go". :lol:
As they all headed to the bar for a much needed drink, Eric was still sulking in the back seat.
"Auh! come on Eric, said Calleigh, "H" didn't mean to hurt you", said Calleigh. :lol:
"Why don't you keep your gums shut for 5 minutes Dumbcal, I' didn't ask for your opinion on the matter".
Just at that moment they pulled up to Ryan's ,
"What the hell took so long"? Chrsit "H" it's 10pm already".
"Just get the hell in, "Watch out for Betsy you dumb ass, she's been beat up enough tonight".
"What's the matter with Cuban boy"? asked Ryan.
"H" told one of his secret's and now he's sulking", said Calleigh.
"What secret, I want to know, share, share", said Ryan. :devil:
"Screw you Wolfenstien", said Eric.
Once they got to the bar, they ordered beer's al around. Looking around Calleigh seen the gang from NY.
"Oh my God "H", look it's the Wimpy CSI's of NY", said Calleigh.
Calleigh started laughing at her own joke. :lol:
"Stella, Mac, Danny, Flack, over here it's Calleigh".
"Oh God", it's the Messed up Miami gang", said Stella, "Now what"?
"Shit, look at the tight ass "H", and that Cuban Banana, though I must say that Bimbo blonde is looking hot", said Mac. :devil:
"Let's go tease them" , said Danny. :devil:
"I swear if "H" say's anything twice today I'll smash his sunnies", said Mac.
"Oh God, here they come, The Brainless Bunch of NY, said "H". "Pretend to like them", said "H". :devil:
"Hey, what the hell is up Wacky Macky, said "H". :lol:
"Not alot HussyHO", said Mac. :devil:
"Look at you Stella, I see you still have your giraffe legs", said Calleigh. :lol:
"Yeah!, just like you have still have your Bumpkin Butt", said Stella. :lol:
Danny couldn't help but laugh at Stella's comment to Calleigh. :lol: :lol:
"What are you laughing at Dippy Dan", said Eric.
"Bite the big toe Eric", said Danny. :devil:
"No thanks, but Ryan will, with relish", said Eric. :lol: :lol:
"Screw you Eric, you're such a Cuban Ho", said Ryan. :devil:
"Enough of this, said "H", what the hell are you doing here"? "This is our territory", said "H".
"I brought my CSI"s over for a little R&R" , said Mac.
"Well then how about we join together and go make some trouble Miami/NY Style, said "H". :devil: :devil:
"Sounds great to me, let's go", said Mac. :devil:
TBC
"See ya Trippzilla", said Calleigh. "Come on "H", let's go".
:lol:As they all headed to the bar for a much needed drink, Eric was still sulking in the back seat.
"Auh! come on Eric, said Calleigh, "H" didn't mean to hurt you", said Calleigh.
:lol:"Why don't you keep your gums shut for 5 minutes Dumbcal, I' didn't ask for your opinion on the matter".
Just at that moment they pulled up to Ryan's ,
"What the hell took so long"? Chrsit "H" it's 10pm already".
"Just get the hell in, "Watch out for Betsy you dumb ass, she's been beat up enough tonight".
"What's the matter with Cuban boy"? asked Ryan.
"H" told one of his secret's and now he's sulking", said Calleigh.
"What secret, I want to know, share, share", said Ryan. :devil:
"Screw you Wolfenstien", said Eric.
Once they got to the bar, they ordered beer's al around. Looking around Calleigh seen the gang from NY.
"Oh my God "H", look it's the Wimpy CSI's of NY", said Calleigh.
Calleigh started laughing at her own joke. :lol:
"Stella, Mac, Danny, Flack, over here it's Calleigh".
"Oh God", it's the Messed up Miami gang", said Stella, "Now what"?
"Shit, look at the tight ass "H", and that Cuban Banana, though I must say that Bimbo blonde is looking hot", said Mac.
:devil:"Let's go tease them" , said Danny. :devil:
"I swear if "H" say's anything twice today I'll smash his sunnies", said Mac.
"Oh God, here they come, The Brainless Bunch of NY, said "H". "Pretend to like them", said "H".
:devil:"Hey, what the hell is up Wacky Macky, said "H". :lol:
"Not alot HussyHO", said Mac. :devil:
"Look at you Stella, I see you still have your giraffe legs", said Calleigh. :lol:
"Yeah!, just like you have still have your Bumpkin Butt", said Stella. :lol:
Danny couldn't help but laugh at Stella's comment to Calleigh. :lol: :lol:
"What are you laughing at Dippy Dan", said Eric.
"Bite the big toe Eric", said Danny.
:devil:"No thanks, but Ryan will, with relish", said Eric. :lol: :lol:
"Screw you Eric, you're such a Cuban Ho", said Ryan.
:devil:"Enough of this, said "H", what the hell are you doing here"? "This is our territory", said "H".
"I brought my CSI"s over for a little R&R" , said Mac.
"Well then how about we join together and go make some trouble Miami/NY Style, said "H". :devil:
:devil:"Sounds great to me, let's go", said Mac. :devil:
TBC
MacsGirlMel
Mac's Personal Assistant
ROFL...LV gang, bring the LV gang in for a three way! rofl...is it me or did that sound dirty?
MacsLovlyAngl
Head of the Graveyard Shift
I'm glad you guy's are loving this, :lol: because I've never laughed so hard in my life either, :lol: Every time I re read it I howl. :lol: I'll post more later. It will aslo be about four skits with M/NY, before the LV gang join in.
As everyone piled into "H"s Hummer, they recieved a call for a crime scene.
"Looks like you Idiot's are coming with us, said "H". :lol:
As they arrived at the scene, Tripp was already there.
"Oh for Christ sake's "H", what the hell are they doing here"? said Tripp.
"Why don't you shut your mouth Trippzilla", said Calleigh. :lol:
"Listen you God damn Country Bumpkin, lay off", said Tripp.
"What the hell is up his ass", asked Flack.
"He's just pissy, because he ripped his new pants at the last crime scene", said Calleigh. :lol:
Flack couldn't help but laugh. :lol: :lol:
"Listen you little piece of NY garbage, no one asked you to laugh", said Tripp.
Calleigh whispered to Flack,
"Just call him Trippzilla, he hates it", said Calleigh.
"What have we got Tripp"? asked "H".
"What the hell have I told you about that, you dumb son of bitch, "You already know", said Tripp.
"Listen Tripp, said "H" as he put on his sunnies, "Why don't you disappear", before I put my foot down your throat", said "H".
"Suck it "H", just Suck it". "You and your little NY wimp wanna be's just Suck it". :devil:
"Whatever Tripp, now get lost".
"What the hell do you think your doing Whacky Mac", said "H".
"Just checking the body, HussyHo, so relax", said Mac.
"Listen you dumb **** get your lard ass out of our crime scene", said "H".
"That's it, I've had enough of your crap", said Mac as he knocked "H"s sunnies off his eyes". :lol:
"You Idiot, those things are like $350 bucks a pair", now you can buy me new ones cried "H".
"In your dreams", said Mac.
"What the hell Mac, that wasn't nice to do", said Eric.
"Whatever you Cuban Banana", just process your crime scene", said Mac. :lol: :lol:
Calleigh and Stella were wandering around looking for evidence.
"Holy Shit", said Stella, "Is that what I think it is".
"Crap, it is, "H", "H" called Calleigh, come here quick".
They all started running towards Calleigh and Stella when Mac fell in a rabbit hole. :lol:
"Auh!!! help me you Idiots I fell in a hole, "Hey, get back here now", "Come on you bags of shit, I'm stuck", cried Mac.
"SUCK IT BACK MAC, yelled Danny, we'll be right there as soon as we finish here".
As they were all looking at the hand Calleigh and Stella had found, some one was coming towards "H"s Betsy Hummer.
"H", "HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH", yelled Mac, your Hummer, your Hummer "H". :devil: :devil:
TBC
As everyone piled into "H"s Hummer, they recieved a call for a crime scene.
"Looks like you Idiot's are coming with us, said "H". :lol:
As they arrived at the scene, Tripp was already there.
"Oh for Christ sake's "H", what the hell are they doing here"? said Tripp.
"Why don't you shut your mouth Trippzilla", said Calleigh. :lol:
"Listen you God damn Country Bumpkin, lay off", said Tripp.
"What the hell is up his ass", asked Flack.
"He's just pissy, because he ripped his new pants at the last crime scene", said Calleigh. :lol:
Flack couldn't help but laugh. :lol: :lol:
"Listen you little piece of NY garbage, no one asked you to laugh", said Tripp.
Calleigh whispered to Flack,
"Just call him Trippzilla, he hates it", said Calleigh.
"What have we got Tripp"? asked "H".
"What the hell have I told you about that, you dumb son of bitch, "You already know", said Tripp.
"Listen Tripp, said "H" as he put on his sunnies, "Why don't you disappear", before I put my foot down your throat", said "H".
"Suck it "H", just Suck it". "You and your little NY wimp wanna be's just Suck it".
:devil:"Whatever Tripp, now get lost".
"What the hell do you think your doing Whacky Mac", said "H".
"Just checking the body, HussyHo, so relax", said Mac.
"Listen you dumb **** get your lard ass out of our crime scene", said "H".
"That's it, I've had enough of your crap", said Mac as he knocked "H"s sunnies off his eyes".
:lol: "You Idiot, those things are like $350 bucks a pair", now you can buy me new ones cried "H".
"In your dreams", said Mac.
"What the hell Mac, that wasn't nice to do", said Eric.
"Whatever you Cuban Banana", just process your crime scene", said Mac. :lol: :lol:
Calleigh and Stella were wandering around looking for evidence.
"Holy Shit", said Stella, "Is that what I think it is".
"Crap, it is, "H", "H" called Calleigh, come here quick".
They all started running towards Calleigh and Stella when Mac fell in a rabbit hole. :lol:
"Auh!!! help me you Idiots I fell in a hole, "Hey, get back here now", "Come on you bags of shit, I'm stuck", cried Mac.
"SUCK IT BACK MAC, yelled Danny, we'll be right there as soon as we finish here".
As they were all looking at the hand Calleigh and Stella had found, some one was coming towards "H"s Betsy Hummer.
"H", "HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH", yelled Mac, your Hummer, your Hummer "H". :devil:
:devil:TBC
Need4Speed
Coroner
HAHAHAHAHA!!!! OMFG!!!!!! ROTFLMFAO!!!!! that was hilarious!!!!!!! OMFG!!!!!!!! HAHAHA!!!!! HEHEH!!!!!!! that is GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHA!!!!!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
MacsLovlyAngl
Head of the Graveyard Shift
As everyone watched in Horror, some kid started spray painting Betsy Hummer with with nasty words. :devil: :devil:
"Get him, yelled "H", grab that little piece of shit", said "H".
The kid took off before "H" and the gang couldn't reach him.
"This is your fault Mac, you dumb ass moron, because of you and your clumbsiness, Betsy has been assulted and violated", said "H".
"Jesus "H", it's not a God damn woman, said Mac, "now get me out of this piss ass hole before I shoot you all", yelled Mac.
Once they had gotten Mac out of the hole, Danny and Eric went to pick up the hand.
"Oh for Christ sakes "H", stop blubbering", said Mac.
"Bite me Mac, first you break my sunnies, and then you show no sympathy towards Betsy here".
"Come on "H", said Calleigh, I'm hungry, let's get this evidence back to the crime lab and then we'll get something to eat, while the gargage fixes Betsy".
"Christ Calleigh, is that all you think about, stuffing your face?
"No you Cuban pinhead, I think about constantly kicking your Cuban ass", said Calleigh.
As everyone piled into the Hummer, silence could be heard all around, that is until Danny blew it by farting. :lol: :lol:
"What the hell is that toxic smell"? said Calleigh.
"Awwwee!!!! that's rancid, who the hell blew it, I'm smothering in here", said Eric.
"Calleigh did it", yelled Danny. :devil:
"You lying piece of shit". Calleigh turned around and punched Danny in the mouth.
"You God damn cow, you busted my lip and now you have blood all over Betsy here".
"Calleigh what the hell", said "H", hasn't Betsy been through enough", yelled "H".
"You listen to me , you bloody whinny ass idiot, It's just a God damn piece of metal, so suck it back", and get over it".
Everyone started laughing as Calleigh lost it, and started kicking "H"s seat, five blocks from the crime lab. :lol: :lol:
"Stop it Calleigh, Calleigh, stop it now, or I'll make you walk back to the Lab".
"That's it", said "H"
As he got out of the Hummer, Calleigh jumped into the front seat and left "H" standing in the dust. :lol: :lol:
"See you back at the Lab, Dirt Bag". :devil: :lol: :lol:
TBC
"Get him, yelled "H", grab that little piece of shit", said "H".
The kid took off before "H" and the gang couldn't reach him.
"This is your fault Mac, you dumb ass moron, because of you and your clumbsiness, Betsy has been assulted and violated", said "H".
"Jesus "H", it's not a God damn woman, said Mac, "now get me out of this piss ass hole before I shoot you all", yelled Mac.
Once they had gotten Mac out of the hole, Danny and Eric went to pick up the hand.
"Oh for Christ sakes "H", stop blubbering", said Mac.
"Bite me Mac, first you break my sunnies, and then you show no sympathy towards Betsy here".
"Come on "H", said Calleigh, I'm hungry, let's get this evidence back to the crime lab and then we'll get something to eat, while the gargage fixes Betsy".
"Christ Calleigh, is that all you think about, stuffing your face?
"No you Cuban pinhead, I think about constantly kicking your Cuban ass", said Calleigh.
As everyone piled into the Hummer, silence could be heard all around, that is until Danny blew it by farting. :lol: :lol:
"What the hell is that toxic smell"? said Calleigh.
"Awwwee!!!! that's rancid, who the hell blew it, I'm smothering in here", said Eric.
"Calleigh did it", yelled Danny.
:devil:"You lying piece of shit". Calleigh turned around and punched Danny in the mouth.
"You God damn cow, you busted my lip and now you have blood all over Betsy here".
"Calleigh what the hell", said "H", hasn't Betsy been through enough", yelled "H".
"You listen to me , you bloody whinny ass idiot, It's just a God damn piece of metal, so suck it back", and get over it".
Everyone started laughing as Calleigh lost it, and started kicking "H"s seat, five blocks from the crime lab.
:lol: :lol:"Stop it Calleigh, Calleigh, stop it now, or I'll make you walk back to the Lab".
"That's it", said "H"
As he got out of the Hummer, Calleigh jumped into the front seat and left "H" standing in the dust. :lol: :lol:
"See you back at the Lab, Dirt Bag".
:devil: :lol: :lol:TBC
MacsGirlMel
Mac's Personal Assistant
ROFL...I'm amazed you aren't getting reprimanded and loving it at the same time. More soon!