CSI:Miami Road Trip- We've Travelled a Long Way

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Miles Pass Below

[Hummerhome]

Katie: *knocks on door* Are you finished being secluded?

Speed: No.

Katie: But I'm not all hyper anymore.

Speed: I don't care.

Katie: ...You're not doing what I think you're doing are you?

Speed: KATIE!

Katie: It's an honest question.

Speed: No.

Katie: So can I come in?

Speed: No.

Katie: Why not?

Speed: I'm reading.

Katie: What are you reading?

Speed: The bible. What else would I be reading?

Katie: Why are you reading the bible?

Speed: Because I'm actually reading the newspaper.

Katie: Oh, anything good?

Speed: Well there's this one article that says wives should not bug their husbands while they try to read the paper.

Katie: Funny. Let me in.

Speed: No.

Katie: .....POLICE OPEN UP! *bangs on door*

Speed: I don't have to listen to you.

Katie: I'm your wife.

Speed: So?

Katie: So open the door so we can make Speedle babies.

Speed: As I recall, the last two times didn't work out so well.

Katie: So?

Speed: So my kids die more often than I do.

Katie: I HAVE NEEDS!

Speed: Yes scream that louder, I don't think the entire state of whatever we're in heard you.

Katie: COME ON!

Speed: No.

Katie: But it won't take longer than a minute. I promise.

Speed: ...I'm not letting you in.

Katie: Fine, I'll just have to man rape you.

Speed: Uh, yeah kind of impossible.

Katie: Why?

Speed: I'm stronger than you.

Katie: So?

Speed: So if I push you into a wall, that's the end of the man-raping.

Katie: You wouldn't do that. You're a changed man. A very changed....MAN.

Speed: Stop it.

Katie: Come on Tim! Open the door.

Speed: *opens door* Okay, go on in.

Katie: Thank you.

Speed: *walks out, shuts door, locks door*

Katie: HEY! YOU LOCKED ME IN!

Speed: Bye. *walks away*

Katie: COME ON THAT'S NOT FAIR!

TBC........
 
Great he opens the door, leaves, and then locks me in. Well poop on a stick! Where's the fun in that. lol. "I HAVE NEEDS!" haha I've shouted that before....in the road trip, not in real life. lol. Great update can't wait for more.
 
Haha, OMG man rape that was really something good to read after a long ass day at work!
 
cool!!! I want a little Hummer! :D
Except that Australia is stupid and doesn't have the cool products that North America and Canada have...

Ooo, yesterday in English class, I had bought this Caramello Koala (chocolate with caramel in it), and when I opened it, half of the koalas head had broken off, and I thought of the RT and yelled "MAN DOWN...I mean KOALA DOWN" and people were just looking at me... ah, it was funny :lol: and the chocolate was yummy :D
 
carlz31 said:


Ooo, yesterday in English class, I had bought this Caramello Koala (chocolate with caramel in it), and when I opened it, half of the koalas head had broken off, and I thought of the RT and yelled "MAN DOWN...I mean KOALA DOWN" and people were just looking at me... ah, it was funny :lol: and the chocolate was yummy :D
Click to expand...

ahahh that was funny!! :lol: :lol:
 
:lol: That was funny.

My Life's Gone Down, What Do I Do

[Hummerhome]

Katie: *knocking on door* Speed?

Speed: *leaning against door* Yes dear?

Katie: Can I come out now?

Speed: Are you going to behave?

Katie: Yes sir.

Speed: How do I know you will?

Katie: Well I've stopped screaming.

Speed: Good.

Katie: Can you open the door please? I have to go to the bathroom.

Speed: Oh, sorry. *opens door*

Katie: HA! SUCKER! *kisses Speed*

Speed: 0_0

[Out in Hummerhome area]

Calleigh: Horatio, I don't feel so good.

Horatio: Maybe it's the heat.

Calleigh: No, the air conditioner is on.

Horatio: Maybe it's gas.

Calleigh: It's not gas.

Horatio: Are you dizzy?

Calleigh: A little.

Horatio: Maybe you should go lie down.

Calleigh: I can't. I have a headache.

Horatio: So you can't lie down?

Calleigh: I don't want to move or I'll puke.

Horatio: Did you eat a bad taco?

Calleigh: TIM!

[Other side of the room]

Speed: Yeah?!

Calleigh: Get over here!

Speed: *runs over* What? What's the matter?

Calleigh: Something's wrong.

Speed: With what?

Calleigh: Eric... ME!

Speed: How do you feel?

Calleigh: Dizzy, I have a headache, and I feel nausiated.

Speed: Maybe you have the flu.

Calleigh: I don't think it's the flu.

Speed: ...The baby?

Calleigh: I don't know.

Speed: Horatio drive to a hospital.

Horatio: I can't just magically find one.

Speed: Just find one!

Horatio: Geez...Who died and made you Horatio?

Speed: Cal, come lie down.

Calleigh: *grabs Speed's hand* Okay.

Katie: *walks in* What's going on?

Speed: She's sick.

Katie: With what?

Speed: I don't know.

Calleigh: *lies down*

Speed: Did you need a glass of water or...Something?

Calleigh: No, I feel like I'm going to blow chunks.

Speed: That's attractive. *looks up* Katie get a wet cloth or something.

Katie: Do I have 'Tim's slave' tattooed on my head?

Speed: *concerned look*

Katie: ....Okay I'm getting one.

Speed: *looks down* When did you start feeling sick?

Calleigh: A few minutes ago, but I didn't say anything. I thought it was gas or something.

Speed: *sigh* Great.

Calleigh: What? Is this bad?

Speed: Well it's not good.

Calleigh: Why is it that anyone who has your DNA ends up dying?

Katie: *walks in* Here's your cloth.

Speed: Thanks. *grabs cloth* You feel any better?

Calleigh: If a damp cloth could heal a miscarriage, then yeah, I'm super.

Speed: This isn't funny.

Calleigh: What do you care?

Speed: Incase you forgot, this is my kid too.

Delko: I can't believe you've had more kids than trips to the dentist.

Speed: *frowns*

Delko: Well maybe she just has gas.

Calleigh: Does burning, piercing pain in all directions usually mean gas?

Delko: How long have you been holding in the fart?

Speed: Eric, stay out of this.

Katie: Are you okay Cal?

Calleigh: No, if feels like there's a babillion fafillion knives jabbing into me. *points to Speed* THIS IS YOUR DOING SPEEDLE.

Speed: Can you calm down?

Calleigh: WHY!

Speed: Because you're going to make things worse.

Calleigh: How did your parents even have two kids? You can barely have ONE!

Speed: Okay, Calleigh, you need to calm down.

Calleigh: I CAN'T CALM DOWN I'M DYING!

Speed: You're not dying.

Delko: Speed's not the father of anyone else's baby is he?

Everyone: *looks at Delko*

Delko: ...*puts hands up in the air* Just trying to make sure.

Speed: How are you feeling?

Delko: I could use a good belch, but I'm good.

Speed: Not you.

Calleigh: A little better.

Speed: Okay, just don't get excited and lay here.

Katie: Well you really did it this time genius.

Speed: *stands up* Don't.

Katie: Don't what?

Speed: We're not going to start an argument about this.

Katie: Is it my fault you slept with her? Is it my fault your kids don't last that long?

Speed: *shakes head* This is just great.

Delko: Really? I thought the situation was kind of gloomy.

Katie: Tim, I'm not trying to start a fight with you.

Speed: Well look what we're doing. Fighting.

Katie: I'm not fighting. I was making an observation.

Speed: Do you really think this is the time to be bringing up how unloyal I was to you in the past?

Katie: Actually, considering everything this is the perfect time.

Speed: I don't have time for this.

Katie: What are you going to do? You're not a doctor.

Speed: And you're not exactly all peaches and cream either but I guess we all have to learn to live with ourselves.

Katie: And you think I'M the one fighting?

Speed: You seem to be pretty good at it.

Katie: Me? You're the one insulting everything that can talk.

Calleigh: TIMOTHY SPEEDLE!

Speed: *looks down* What?

Calleigh: THIS IS YOUR DOING!

Speed: Yeah you already said that, and don't call me Timothy.

Horatio: Who has the map?

Calleigh: I had the map.

Horatio: Where's the hospital?

Calleigh: Uh, sorry I can't exactly get up and search for you, I'm in the middle of being stabbed by a DEMON SPEEDLE BABY!

TBC.........
 
HAHAHA AWWWW The Speedle babies the next Damien. Awwww. ANd Great nice timing Calleigh I just got out of the room and you had to ruin it. lol. Anyways update soon please.
 
:lol: DEMON SPEEDLE BABY! Haha...Eric and Calleigh always DID think he was posessed.

When Worlds Collide...

[Hospital]

Horatio: *walks up* How's she doing?

Speed: I don't know, I didn't ask.

Horatio: You aren't going in?

Speed: Her room? No I don't think so.

Doctor: *walks up* Which one of you is the husband?

Speed/Horatio: *blank stare*

Doctor: ....Where's her husband?

Horatio: She doesn't have one.

Doctor: Where's the father?

Speed: I'm the father.

Doctor: But you're not married.

Speed: No, my wife's in the Hummerhome.

Doctor: So who's she?

Speed: The mother of my children.

Doctor: You're....Serious?

Speed: No, I just thought it would be fun to take responsability for a life that doesn't belong to me. Hey if you listen carefully, you can hear the rest of the women in this hospital becoming pregnant right now.

Doctor: Is he okay?

Horatio: You wouldn't happen to have time to get his head examined would you?

Doctor: *looks at Speed* So you're the father? I mean seriously? Because I don't really have time to play games.

Speed: No way. Horatio here is the father. He loves to screw women half his age. He even marries them too. What a standup guy.

Horatio: *frowns* Hey, I do not screw them. I only marry them.

Speed: Yeah, whatever.

Doctor: I need someone to sign these forms so one of you has to be the father, and I'm pretty sure it's not both of you.

Speed: I am, give me the forms.

Doctor: *hands over forms*

Speed: *looks down* ...Uh, surgery?

Doctor: She's unconscious so she can't make the decision.

Speed: And you expect me to make the decision?

Doctor: We don't have time.

Speed: What are the odds?

Doctor: It's about a 60/40 chance. But both of them might die.

Speed: What about without surgery?

Doctor: Your...Lady friend might live, but the baby might not.

Speed: *looks at Horatio*

Horatio: Hey don't ask me, I didn't sleep with her.

Speed: What do you think I should do?

Doctor: Either way, one of them might die or both.

Speed: I really don't think I c-

Doctor: Look, we don't have enough time to debate this.

Speed: No surgery.

Doctor: Are you sure?

Speed: What, did you need it written in my blood? No surgery.

Doctor: You do realize the baby might die.

Speed: I know.

Doctor: Okay. *runs away*

Speed: *angry sigh*

Horatio: Come on, let's go wait in the waiting room.

Speed: Couldn't they have called it something other than the waiting room? Why not the 'happy-fun sitting area'?

Horatio: Let's go.

TBC.........
 
Happy Fun Sitting Area. Oh Speedy you never suprise me. lol. And hahaha why did Marisol instantally pop into my head when Speed said woman half Horatio's age. lol. And awww the baby might die and even Calleigh if he went through surgery. That's sad. lol. Update soon please.
 
It is sad...I figured everyone needs some drama every now and then. I suppose that's why we're all CSI fans. ;)

..Wow I've had to correct every single word I've spelled so far. I must be losing my mind.

I Want His Wings

[Hospital]

[3 hours later]

Doctor: *walks in* Gentlemen?

Horatio/Speed: *stand up*

Doctor: We....Couldn't save the baby.

Speed: *sigh*

Doctor: And your friend is in a coma.

Speed: *blinks* ...Coma?

Doctor: If you weren't a religious man before, you should think about it now. *leaves*

Horatio: I'm sorry.

Speed: *frowns* Religious? He wants me to pray?

Horatio: If you f-

Speed: Excuse me. *leaves*

Horatio: *sigh* Oh Speed.

[Stairwell, Hospital]

Delko: *walks around corner* Hey, I found a broken soda machine. You want a free soda?

Speed: *sitting on steps* No.

Delko: *sits down* Horatio just told me what happened. That kind of sucks huh?

Speed: Yeah.

Delko: Well hey better luck next time. *laughs*

Speed: *frowns*

Delko: Oh hey maybe there was some iced tea in that machine. Did you want some iced tea?

Speed: *shakes head* No, you can go get whatever you want.

Delko: This is the second broken machine I've found. It's like luck is on my side this year.

Speed: *leans on Delko, starts to cry*

Delko: ...Uh...Wow...Okay....*pats Speed on the back* Let it all out buddy.

Speed: Eric....W-why does this always happen to me?

Delko: Maybe you're cursed or..Posessed or something...No, seriously I don't think this has anything to do with you.

Speed: *sigh*

Delko: *rubs Speed's back* I'm sorry man.

Speed: *nods*....You're a good friend Eric.

Delko: I am? ....There's no punchline?

Speed: *sits up* No.

Delko: Ah I see....

Speed: Sorry I got your shirt all wet.

Delko: Well it wouldn't be the first time...It's just that all the other times it's usually women crying on me, not men.

Speed: *rolls eyes*

Delko: But hey, what are friends for?

Speed: Thanks man.

Delko: You're not going to....Sleep with me now are you?

Speed: *punches Delko*

Delko: Aaaand...I ruined it.

Speed: Just don't tell anyone else alright?

Delko: Why would I ever tell anyone? No one needs to know you feel vulnerable enough to cry on my shoulder.

Speed: Shut up.

Delko: You want to go get...A drink or something?

Speed: I'm pretty sure they don't have alcohol in hospitals.

Delko: I saw one across the street.

Speed: It's not a strip club is it?

Delko: ...Well if you don't look behind you while you're at the bar, it doesn't have to be.

Speed: *frowns*

Delko: I'll pay.

Speed: Deal.

TBC.......
 
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