CSI Fan Fiction Critique Group.
- Thread starter lostladyknight
- Start date
marymagdalen
Lab Technician
No idea how to put in quotes from three different people, so I hope this makes sense in response to the last three posts!!
Kazalene - Wow! I really never intended to start such a debate! I just thought, "It's the start of a sentence, so it needs a capital." And to rub it in, I just did it again!! :guffaw:
AmandaRuth - I was so looking forward to one of your highly detailed mega-critiques this week! But I'll forgive you. Maybe you could do just a little itsy bitsy review on ff.net? :scream: Hope your week quietens down.
LLK - Whatever will enhance what we're doing here will be good, so yeah, go for it. :thumbsup:
Leni
Kazalene - Wow! I really never intended to start such a debate! I just thought, "It's the start of a sentence, so it needs a capital." And to rub it in, I just did it again!! :guffaw:
AmandaRuth - I was so looking forward to one of your highly detailed mega-critiques this week! But I'll forgive you. Maybe you could do just a little itsy bitsy review on ff.net? :scream: Hope your week quietens down.
LLK - Whatever will enhance what we're doing here will be good, so yeah, go for it. :thumbsup:
Leni
Amanda_Ruth
Witness
I'm sorry, Leni! I SUCK! *thud* I promise to review. It's the least I can do for being such a biotch and not giving you one of my 'highly detailed mega-critiques'! *runs around* DAMN THESE THINGS I NEED TO DO! *runs into a wall* Ow... okay, I'm gonna head off now. I'm wasting precious puppy sitting time -__-
Oh, and Kathy, if moving the FCG to its own site will open up the possibility of stories from other fandoms outside of CSI, CSI: Miami, and CSI: New York, then be my guest. I love the CSIs, but I need my fix of good Bones and House, too. :scream: It gets dull, sometimes. I love all the stories, though, guys! You people rock my world!
Oh, and Kathy, if moving the FCG to its own site will open up the possibility of stories from other fandoms outside of CSI, CSI: Miami, and CSI: New York, then be my guest. I love the CSIs, but I need my fix of good Bones and House, too. :scream: It gets dull, sometimes. I love all the stories, though, guys! You people rock my world!
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lostladyknight
Pathologist
The benefits of moving outweigh the downsides, I think.
1. We'll be able to incorporate more fandoms. Bones, House, Gilmore Girls, etc. I've had people request to do all of the above here and the simple fact is/was we can't. Against the rules.
2. We'll be able to review higher rated fics. I know that my M/R rated pieces need as much help as my T.
3. We'll be able to do more challenges and special projects. I'm even thinking of doing a special project every week. Challenges will also be able to be given more attention if we have more space to organize.
4. We'll be able to have and organize a moderator team and more members. Jodie and I will be able elect a staff and we'll be able to run things more smoothely.
5. We'll cut down on one time posters.
6. We can organize TQ's better.
The downsides:
1. We'll probably lose some membes.
2. We'll lose our archives, or some of them. Some of the stories we've featured have been deleted already though. I'm going to try to say all of our archives for the last few months though.
3. People may not be able to find us as easily.
4. Some of us may not want to incorporate other fandoms. But nothing says we have to critique every week.
1. We'll be able to incorporate more fandoms. Bones, House, Gilmore Girls, etc. I've had people request to do all of the above here and the simple fact is/was we can't. Against the rules.
2. We'll be able to review higher rated fics. I know that my M/R rated pieces need as much help as my T.
3. We'll be able to do more challenges and special projects. I'm even thinking of doing a special project every week. Challenges will also be able to be given more attention if we have more space to organize.
4. We'll be able to have and organize a moderator team and more members. Jodie and I will be able elect a staff and we'll be able to run things more smoothely.
5. We'll cut down on one time posters.
6. We can organize TQ's better.
The downsides:
1. We'll probably lose some membes.
2. We'll lose our archives, or some of them. Some of the stories we've featured have been deleted already though. I'm going to try to say all of our archives for the last few months though.
3. People may not be able to find us as easily.
4. Some of us may not want to incorporate other fandoms. But nothing says we have to critique every week.
Hm, a move is an interesting idea. The only real downside I can see (at least from my point of view) is that this was a great topic for Fan Fiction and really livened things up. It would be a shame to lose such a great thing, even if it means having more freedom elsewhere.
However, I'd definitely still participate and the thought of encorporating other fandoms is very appealing to me! Some may feel more strong at writing say, House or Bones rather than CSI and want to try their talents in that fora.
So in short, I'm fine with it either way and I'd like to still be a part of this talented group of people!
However, I'd definitely still participate and the thought of encorporating other fandoms is very appealing to me! Some may feel more strong at writing say, House or Bones rather than CSI and want to try their talents in that fora.
So in short, I'm fine with it either way and I'd like to still be a part of this talented group of people!
Amanda_Ruth
Witness
*TQ*
Okay, I seem to be in the minority when I say I like song fics. The only exception is when they suck, which is quite often the case. I love writing them, but I never really ever post them. I mean, if I ever posted one, it would be one where it follows the basic theme of a song, but I probably wouldn't incorporate the lyrics. Like... I'd probably say inspired by such and such song, by this person, but I don't know if I'd put the lyrics in. I feel it takes away from the story when that is done. But, like in What He Wants, my challenge fic, I put lyrics in because they helped the story... in my opinion, at least.
But really, song fics are a taste that is acquired, and very hard to pull off when you write them. I try to take it very seriously when I write them, and that means not using a song that I don't know the words to. I mean, honestly, if you don't know the words, and don't think you can trust the lyrics you find online... don't use the song! I hate that. It's so frustrating, when you know the words, to see an incorrect lyric. So, I try to use easy songs. I used one song that I wasn't completely comfortable with in my challenge fic, What I Want, but took creative liberty, because I needed that song to make the story work. But, getting the lyrics right shouldn't be taken lightly, and that's where I end this silly TQ answer.
*Critique*
Okay, I think that I have mentioned before that I am not the biggest fan of Horatio Caine... at all. I think he's a wonderful character, I just never had that much of a fondness for the man who plays him. But I have learned that in fan fiction I don't really see David Caruso when I read H. Caine, I just see Horatio.
This story was no exception. It was very well presented, and the song didn't take over the story in any way. I was quite impressed that you were able to make it clear that Horatio and Marisol were the focus of the story before you even mentioned their names. At least, it was a miracle it was clear to me because I never saw this episode, so... this scene was just another fic for me. It was great, though.
I understand the struggle that Horatio was going through when he agreed to go with Marisol to her chemo session. Not first hand, but my elder siblings don't have the same father as me, and their father had cancer. They saw the after effects of the chemo therapy, and it was very saddening. It's a difficult thing to watch, because they're in so much pain and you don't know how to comfort them. You want to take the pain away so badly, but you just have to sit back and watch as they suffer. It's terribly difficult, and I could only imagine what it's like to go through. I would never wish that on anyone. The conflicted emotions running through Horatio are so real, and it's painful to try and relate to him.
I think what I liked most about this story was how you wrote it as it happened in the first person. Like, describing how the scene plays out from Horatio's perspective. Usually I only see this when it's written from the third person, and it's very... Stephen King when done like that. But this wasn't just a normal first person story, but seemed to be written third person in the first person... if that makes any sense. I liked it, because it was unique. Not something I'm used to. Brava on being creative!
Okay, before I ramble on and on, I think I should get to the bad... *searches* I lied. There is nothing I don't like. Everyone pretty much covered the grammar stuff... and I don't see any glaring spelling errors that make me want to kick you, so... well done.
I think the one thing I didn't like was that you... uh... crap, there really is nothing. Damn... I hate not being able to give constructive criticism. It really doesn't help the writer in the least if all you do is praise them, does it?
Lemme try and find something to tell you so I don't feel like an epic failure. *racks brain* *rereads story* OH! I found something. It's nothing critical, but I got it. The part where you have Horatio scold himself for thinking about himself is followed almost immediately by him wishing he was ready for her getting the treatment. It seems he's reverted back to thinking about himself again. Now this is just my opinion, but I thought you should know.
Geez, Leni, I can't believe you actually like my critiques. They are so very long and opinionated, I'm surprised anyone tolerates me anymore. :scream: I don't really say much about the fic... I usually just talk about myself... wow... that must be against the rules. Why haven't I been punished. Oh, well. I hope that this was good. I'm not on my game tonight, but it's not one of those stories where I immediately see the flaws, so... if I see something next time I read it, I'll be sure to add it.
Okay, so basically, this entire thing proves just how desperate I am to make people happy at the moment. Oh, and that I'm a big fat liar and can never stick to doing what I need to be doing, and just do what I want. So... Leni, ya got lucky.
Amanda
Okay, I seem to be in the minority when I say I like song fics. The only exception is when they suck, which is quite often the case. I love writing them, but I never really ever post them. I mean, if I ever posted one, it would be one where it follows the basic theme of a song, but I probably wouldn't incorporate the lyrics. Like... I'd probably say inspired by such and such song, by this person, but I don't know if I'd put the lyrics in. I feel it takes away from the story when that is done. But, like in What He Wants, my challenge fic, I put lyrics in because they helped the story... in my opinion, at least.
But really, song fics are a taste that is acquired, and very hard to pull off when you write them. I try to take it very seriously when I write them, and that means not using a song that I don't know the words to. I mean, honestly, if you don't know the words, and don't think you can trust the lyrics you find online... don't use the song! I hate that. It's so frustrating, when you know the words, to see an incorrect lyric. So, I try to use easy songs. I used one song that I wasn't completely comfortable with in my challenge fic, What I Want, but took creative liberty, because I needed that song to make the story work. But, getting the lyrics right shouldn't be taken lightly, and that's where I end this silly TQ answer.
*Critique*
Okay, I think that I have mentioned before that I am not the biggest fan of Horatio Caine... at all. I think he's a wonderful character, I just never had that much of a fondness for the man who plays him. But I have learned that in fan fiction I don't really see David Caruso when I read H. Caine, I just see Horatio.
This story was no exception. It was very well presented, and the song didn't take over the story in any way. I was quite impressed that you were able to make it clear that Horatio and Marisol were the focus of the story before you even mentioned their names. At least, it was a miracle it was clear to me because I never saw this episode, so... this scene was just another fic for me. It was great, though.
I understand the struggle that Horatio was going through when he agreed to go with Marisol to her chemo session. Not first hand, but my elder siblings don't have the same father as me, and their father had cancer. They saw the after effects of the chemo therapy, and it was very saddening. It's a difficult thing to watch, because they're in so much pain and you don't know how to comfort them. You want to take the pain away so badly, but you just have to sit back and watch as they suffer. It's terribly difficult, and I could only imagine what it's like to go through. I would never wish that on anyone. The conflicted emotions running through Horatio are so real, and it's painful to try and relate to him.
I think what I liked most about this story was how you wrote it as it happened in the first person. Like, describing how the scene plays out from Horatio's perspective. Usually I only see this when it's written from the third person, and it's very... Stephen King when done like that. But this wasn't just a normal first person story, but seemed to be written third person in the first person... if that makes any sense. I liked it, because it was unique. Not something I'm used to. Brava on being creative!
Okay, before I ramble on and on, I think I should get to the bad... *searches* I lied. There is nothing I don't like. Everyone pretty much covered the grammar stuff... and I don't see any glaring spelling errors that make me want to kick you, so... well done.
I think the one thing I didn't like was that you... uh... crap, there really is nothing. Damn... I hate not being able to give constructive criticism. It really doesn't help the writer in the least if all you do is praise them, does it?
Lemme try and find something to tell you so I don't feel like an epic failure. *racks brain* *rereads story* OH! I found something. It's nothing critical, but I got it. The part where you have Horatio scold himself for thinking about himself is followed almost immediately by him wishing he was ready for her getting the treatment. It seems he's reverted back to thinking about himself again. Now this is just my opinion, but I thought you should know.
Geez, Leni, I can't believe you actually like my critiques. They are so very long and opinionated, I'm surprised anyone tolerates me anymore. :scream: I don't really say much about the fic... I usually just talk about myself... wow... that must be against the rules. Why haven't I been punished. Oh, well. I hope that this was good. I'm not on my game tonight, but it's not one of those stories where I immediately see the flaws, so... if I see something next time I read it, I'll be sure to add it.
Okay, so basically, this entire thing proves just how desperate I am to make people happy at the moment. Oh, and that I'm a big fat liar and can never stick to doing what I need to be doing, and just do what I want. So... Leni, ya got lucky.
Amanda
marymagdalen
Lab Technician
Boy, do I FEEL lucky!!! :beer: Next time I see ya I'll buy you a pint just to say thanks!
Leni
lostladyknight
Pathologist
Anyone want to be featured next week?
Also, Jodie and I are working hard and it looks like we WILL be moving. I'm actually considering making the move on June 7th.
Is there a problem with that for anyone?
Also, Jodie and I are working hard and it looks like we WILL be moving. I'm actually considering making the move on June 7th.
Is there a problem with that for anyone?
Amanda_Ruth
Witness
Not a problem here. I may even give you your first feature If this stupid Bones fic wouldn't be such a PITA, then it'd be done by now!
Anyhow, I can't wait for the move, really. It'll be much better for us, in my opinion, if we can get out of this little hidey hole and expand. We'll be so much better off in a separate environment... though I am going to miss checking for updates on Talk. *sniffles* Ah, nostalgia, back off, dude!
Amanda
If this stupid Bones fic wouldn't be such a PITA, then it'd be done by now!Anyhow, I can't wait for the move, really. It'll be much better for us, in my opinion, if we can get out of this little hidey hole and expand. We'll be so much better off in a separate environment... though I am going to miss checking for updates on Talk. *sniffles* Ah, nostalgia, back off, dude!
Amanda
Jennifer
Lab Technician
TQ: When you are writing stories that incorporate song lyrics how do you choose? Why? Where do you find them? How do you know they are just right?
With the exception of the story I wrote for the challenge where we had to incorporate a song by the group Queen, I have never, and will never, write a story that incorporates song lyrics. I'm not a fan of song fics at all, and most of the time when I read them, I don't bother to read the lyrics. To me they're just plain distracting. While I may be inspired by a song, (as others have noted) rarely does an entire song fit a story...so I may write a story loosely based on some lyrics in a song, but I'll never incorporate the lyrics into it.
Critique:
I said above that most of the time when reading a song fic, I don't read the lyrics, and honestly when I first read the story...I didn't read the lyrics. Then I thought to myself that I wasn't being fair, so I went back and re-read the story AND read the lyrics as well. And frankly...I'm impressed! As the others have said, you really wove the lyrics into the story so well, they fit perfectly with what the story was conveying.
As for the story, I was pleasantly surprised by it because I felt the whole Horatio & Marisol storyline was pulled off rather ineptly by the writers, producers, and anyone else that had a hand in it. It was as if the H&M thing was a last minute thought that they just threw into the last several episodes of that season and the whole thing was rushed. It irritated me that she never looked like a cancer patient, never looked like she went through chemo treatments. And don't get me started on how they completely failed to make it look like H&M were in love. So, it was a nice surprise to read a story where that love was conveyed so well, and where Marisol was portrayed as really being sick.
That brings up characterization. You nailed Horatio, especially with this:
Maybe it’s because this is what I always have to do. I have to be there for people. Protect and serve. I’m not sure which this is. Maybe both. Maybe neither. I can’t protect you from what you’re going through. I can’t do anything about it. Except just be here for you.
As for Marisol, this was the only part I saw where it was out of character (at least, in my opinion), but I'm glad you did it:
You look so pale, so thin. Your smallest movements suggest a frailty beyond your years.
Marisol never looked sick in the show, never looked pale or fragile...and that's why I'm so glad you wrote that line. While the show didn't portray her as being "...pale, so thin" you certainly did. The writers could have used you.
Suggestions...I have none. The story was beautifully done. I'd like to read more like this from you...perhaps E/C.
*********************************************************
Leni...thank you SO much for the Notepad suggestion. I was using Word and it gave me fits each time with having to edit my posts for those stupid tags.
LLK...I agree with the move, although I don't write anything other than CSI:M, I'd love to read submissions from other shows. And if doing so would open this group up to more people, I'm all for it.
With the exception of the story I wrote for the challenge where we had to incorporate a song by the group Queen, I have never, and will never, write a story that incorporates song lyrics. I'm not a fan of song fics at all, and most of the time when I read them, I don't bother to read the lyrics. To me they're just plain distracting. While I may be inspired by a song, (as others have noted) rarely does an entire song fit a story...so I may write a story loosely based on some lyrics in a song, but I'll never incorporate the lyrics into it.
Critique:
I said above that most of the time when reading a song fic, I don't read the lyrics, and honestly when I first read the story...I didn't read the lyrics. Then I thought to myself that I wasn't being fair, so I went back and re-read the story AND read the lyrics as well. And frankly...I'm impressed! As the others have said, you really wove the lyrics into the story so well, they fit perfectly with what the story was conveying.
As for the story, I was pleasantly surprised by it because I felt the whole Horatio & Marisol storyline was pulled off rather ineptly by the writers, producers, and anyone else that had a hand in it. It was as if the H&M thing was a last minute thought that they just threw into the last several episodes of that season and the whole thing was rushed. It irritated me that she never looked like a cancer patient, never looked like she went through chemo treatments. And don't get me started on how they completely failed to make it look like H&M were in love. So, it was a nice surprise to read a story where that love was conveyed so well, and where Marisol was portrayed as really being sick.
That brings up characterization. You nailed Horatio, especially with this:
Maybe it’s because this is what I always have to do. I have to be there for people. Protect and serve. I’m not sure which this is. Maybe both. Maybe neither. I can’t protect you from what you’re going through. I can’t do anything about it. Except just be here for you.
As for Marisol, this was the only part I saw where it was out of character (at least, in my opinion), but I'm glad you did it:
You look so pale, so thin. Your smallest movements suggest a frailty beyond your years.
Marisol never looked sick in the show, never looked pale or fragile...and that's why I'm so glad you wrote that line. While the show didn't portray her as being "...pale, so thin" you certainly did. The writers could have used you.
Suggestions...I have none. The story was beautifully done. I'd like to read more like this from you...perhaps E/C
.*********************************************************
Leni...thank you SO much for the Notepad suggestion. I was using Word and it gave me fits each time with having to edit my posts for those stupid tags.
LLK...I agree with the move, although I don't write anything other than CSI:M, I'd love to read submissions from other shows. And if doing so would open this group up to more people, I'm all for it.
lostladyknight
Pathologist
I'd like to say this is the last time I'm going to bring up the move, but it's not. However I do have a question for you.
How do you feel about moving tomorrow?
I'm incredibly eager to move because I'm just plain excited.
IF I work hard I'll be able to move us Tomorrow. Instead of posting the new featured fic here tomorrow, I'll post a tutorial about how to move to the new site and we'll start from there.
Though you'll have to understand that there will still be several kinks to iron out. IE. The new rules. Procedure for posting M rated pieces, etc.
If you guys want, I can be ready. I may wish to enlist some more help. (If anyone has messenger and doesn't mind giving me an hour or so, please PM me.)
Also, I can take my time and move us next Sunday.
The choice is yours.
ETA: Might still be looking for a fic to critique next week. However I think I'm going to do something with your Character Projects.
How do you feel about moving tomorrow?
I'm incredibly eager to move because I'm just plain excited.
IF I work hard I'll be able to move us Tomorrow. Instead of posting the new featured fic here tomorrow, I'll post a tutorial about how to move to the new site and we'll start from there.
Though you'll have to understand that there will still be several kinks to iron out. IE. The new rules. Procedure for posting M rated pieces, etc.
If you guys want, I can be ready. I may wish to enlist some more help. (If anyone has messenger and doesn't mind giving me an hour or so, please PM me.)
Also, I can take my time and move us next Sunday.
The choice is yours.
ETA: Might still be looking for a fic to critique next week. However I think I'm going to do something with your Character Projects.
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lostladyknight
Pathologist
Totally OT post.
I *love* your siggy. Truly.
That's gorgeous.
I'm actually feeling myself a little attracted to Eric right now.
I *love* your siggy. Truly.
That's gorgeous.
I'm actually feeling myself a little attracted to Eric right now.