Ok, so I went to see the babysitter again today. She wasn't too happy to see me since I shared my insider info last time, but I was able to placate her with an envelope full of gift certificates to the nearest gas station convenience store. That bitch loves her some honeybuns and Bud Light.
So, here's the scoop:
jkladis wanted to name the baby Carmine Jr after its dad, but Carmine didn't want to
claim the kid, much less give it his name. There was a bit of a spat in the hospital that resulted in a doctor getting a spork to the eye after
jkladis grabbed it from his lunch tray and hurled it across the room. Fortunately for Carmine, and unfortunately for the doctor,
jkladis has shitty aim and instead of impaling Carmine's family jewels, he almost put the doctor's eye out. (But don't worry, the doctor will be just fine.)
In the end, Carmine had to concede to putting his last name on the birth certificate (under threat of media coverage), but he refused to give the kid his full name (which makes sense, especially considering that he still doesn't know the gender--nor does he
want to know). So
jkladis had to compromise and name the kid after the cat. Who in the hell names their kid Mookie Giovinazzo?? As if it wasn't going to have enough problems looking like that? *sigh* Oh well, none of my business.
After we'd used some of the gift certificates to stock up on honeybuns and Bud Light, I was able to get the babysitter slightly intoxicated and she shared this juicy little story:
The cops ended up at the house one night after the neighbors complained. Apparently, Carmine had the audacity to suggest that their little bundle of joy bears a striking resemblance to Mr Bean and, one can assume,
jkladis took this to mean that Carmine was accusing him of stalki--er, being with another man.
jkladis was not pleased, and there may or may not have been an incident with a heavy bowl of fruit.
Fascinating. It's almost like an episode of
Cops, minus the rednecks.
Oh, and in case you were wondering, I snapped a picture of the babysitter (still in her curlers, poor dear).
What, you didn't think
jkladis was going to let Carmine hire some young hottie, did you?
