Road Trip - CSI:Miami - "Crazy Eights"

Riley is still in California. And I have made a Wubba Monster icon, but I won't post it here since it's the Fan Fiction board.

And whew there seem to be mixed feelings about Avery. I like it.

**********

Top of school, Miami, next day

Josh: *kneels, opens kit*

Avery: *runs over* You didn't call.

Josh: *looks up at Avery*

Avery: I thought we were both on this case.

Josh: I don't have to report myself to you.

Avery: I've been asking around the lab and apparently you're supposed to be the nice brother.

Josh: What are you talking about?

Avery: I was talkin' to Verara or whatever her name is.

Josh: Valera.

Avery: Yeah, her. She said you're really nice.

Josh: And?

Avery: And why aren't you nice with me?

Josh: Because I'm your boss.

Avery: So I have to earn your respect.

Josh: That's usually how it works when you start off at the bottom.

Avery: Was everyone mean to you when you first started?

Josh: No, actually. I wasn't really working with the actual CSIs. Well, they're actual CSIs now but they weren't officially when I started. I was working a case with gangs.

Avery: And then?

Josh: And then I assisted on a case involving Calleigh Duquesne.

Avery: What was the case about?

Josh: It's closed so it doesn't matter. Then I worked undercover narcotics for a while so I've earned the respect of my peers.

Avery: You never got into drugs?

Josh: What do you mean?

Avery: Well...A lot of cops who transfer to narco, get involved with that stuff. You know hookers and drugs dealers. They make some friends on the streets and then pretty soon they can't handle thier job as a police officer.

Josh: You watch too many movies.

Avery: So what happened with you? You ever get involved with anyone bad?

Josh: Why are you looking for my street credit?

Avery: I'm just curious who I'll be working with for the remainder of this case.

Josh: You're being transfered to the night shift at the end of the week. I doubt this case will be wrapped up before then.

Avery: So what's it going to take for you to be nice to me?

Josh: *grabs flashlight*

Avery: Right the whole chain of command crap. So you're just going to be an ass the whole time.

Josh: You wanted me to hold your hand?

Avery: No. I don't. Can we just get to work then?

Josh: Sure.

Avery: Give me a flashlight and get out of my way.

Josh: *hands over flashlight*

Avery: *walks away*

Josh: *lifts brow*

Avery: *shines light around*

Josh: *stands, looks over edge* You find anything?

Avery: When I know, you'll know.

Josh: *nods* Fair enough.

Avery: *kneels* Gunshot residue.

Josh: *walks over*

Avery: Barrel of a rifle was sitting here. Great view of the crime scene too.

Josh: Okay start looking for evidence of the actual shooter.

Avery: I know that. *looks around*

Josh: *frowns*

Avery: Down here. *points* On the edge of the building looks like some black material.

Josh: Collect it.

Avery: I am. *grabs evidence* It was hanging off the side so that means whoever it was probably had very long clothes and when he or she turned around, that part was caught on this part of the building.

Josh: Okay we'll get that back to the lab and run a profile on it.

Avery: *nods*

Josh: Great work.

Avery: ...Thanks.

Josh: *walks away*

Hummerhome

Anni: *pushes Carly* Get lost.

Carly: No. It's my popsicle.

Anni: It was mine. I licked it.

Carly: Mine now.

Anni: You licked my popsicle.

Delko: *starts to laugh*

Jess: *slaps Eric*

Delko: Sorry.

Anni: Give it back.

Carly: No.

Anni: That has my germs on it.

Carly: You're part of the family now.

Anni: Um not your family.

Carly: Sure you are. *shoves popsicle in Speed's mouth*

Speed: *wide-eyed*

Carly: *pulls popsicle out* There now you're good.

Anni: *grabs popsicle* Stop passing it around like it's a peace pipe.

Speed: I hate cherry.

Carly: Alright I need another popsicle.

Delko: You stole the last one from Anni.

Carly: WE NEED TO STOP! I NEED MORE! THEY'RE LIKE MY FRIGGIN' CRACK!

Horatio: Calm down. There isn't another Wal-Mart for at least ten miles.

Carly: Where are we going? Where are we going?

Horatio: California.

Carly: Oh when will we get there?

Horatio: Tomorrow.

Carly: Oh so are there popsicles there?

Speed: What is it with you and popsicles?

Carly: I'm Australian.

Speed: What does that have to do with anything?

Carly: It doesn't.

Katie: HA!

Calleigh: What?

Katie: Nothing. My subconscious now picks up quotes from another life that we'll not mention because the world will implode.

Calleigh: ...

Ryan: Was I around for this?

Katie: No not for another two sea....Nothing.

Ryan: Huh?

Calleigh: Nothin' Ryan.

Ryan: Ah alright. See I feel a little lost with everyone.

Calleigh: Don't be, you'll fit in fine. *smiles*

Ryan: *smiles*

Colton: *kicks Ryan*

Ryan: OW!

Horatio: Children, stop hitting and kicking.

Ryan: He started it.

Colton: You started it. Stop hitting on my girlfriend.

Ryan: I wasn't doing anything. It was Calleigh's fault.

Calleigh: *gasp* I think not.

Megan: Can we keep it PG for two minutes please?

Missy: I haven't said anything in FOREVER.

JC: You're not the only one. *eats popcorn* It's much more fun to listen to them bicker about nothing.

Missy: I hear ya.

Miami Lab three hours later

Josh: *walks over* I've been looking for you everywhere.

Avery: *hands over paper* I have your results sir.

Josh: *looks at paper* A trench coat.

Avery: Yeah whoever was wearing it was on the roof of that school and I doubt the janitor dresses like a business man.

Josh: The victim's husband works in an office downtown.

Avery: You think we should talk to him?

Josh: I think so. Let's go to his office.

Avery: Sure.

Wellner.co

Josh: *picks up family picture* You have an impressive firm here Mister Wellner.

Wellner: Thank you. My offices pride themselves on moral conduct and a work ethic that can't be beat. That and the successful business part. *smiles*

Josh: What exactly does your firm do?

Wellner: I hire defense lawyers that can't get a job anywhere else. They have good skills just not the incentive to get the right degrees. I give them a chance here.

Josh: That's very kind of you.

Wellner: Yes, it is.

Josh: You were informed that your wife was killed yesterday and yet you're back at work.

Wellner: It's terrible I know, but my firm shouldn't stop because of one death.

Josh: Your wife died. You don't even take a sick day?

Wellner: I loved my wife but I love my career more.

Josh: Enough to kill?

Wellner: What are you insinuating?

Josh: Nothing.

Wellner: It seems like you're implying I killed my wife.

Josh: I didn't say that.

Wellner: I didn't kill anyone. I was here when she was murdered.

Josh: Have you seen your daughter yet?

Wellner: ...

Josh: So she's still at the police department.

Wellner: I don't know, you work there. You find out.

Josh: *frowns*

Avery: *looks at Josh*

Josh: *slaps folder onto table* Your wife was shot in the head. It cracked open when she hit the pavement and your daughter witnessed it. Your wife is rotting in the morgue and you're here looking at spreadsheets and calling your business partners. What the hell kind of husband and father are you?

Wellner: I don't have to listen to this. Get out of my office until you have something substantial to prove.

Josh: Don't leave town. *leaves*

Avery: ...Okay. *leaves*

Halls

Josh: *walking*

Avery: Whoa, what's your problem.

Josh: I don't like him.

Avery: Uh yeah clearly. Did you have to treat him like that?

Josh: No offense but you're not exactly in a position to argue my professionalism.

Avery: You went off on him for no reason.

Josh: You don't know what it's like to have a family, do you? When one of them dies you do not sit in your office all day like nothing happened.

Avery: People grieve in different ways.

Josh: That's not grief that's arrogance.

Avery: Maybe but you don't have the luxury of judging anyone. Until we can prove he's any less than a businessman, back off.

Josh: *stops walking* I'm a little tired of babysitting you.

Avery: Babysitting? I'm the one making sure you don't make an ass of yourself.

Josh: Why don't you just go back to the lab.

Avery: What is your problem?

Josh: I don't have a problem!

Avery: Yeah you do!

Josh: Get out of my face.

Avery: No.

Josh: *glaring*

Avery: *crosses arms*

TBC.............

 

:lol: I love it when that happens. Not when the world implodes, because that's kinda annoying, but, er... you know what I mean...

Hmm... this Avery girl... I'm not sure what to make of her...

Great work, Geni

 

Thank you for the wonderful reviews everyone. They always brighten my evening.

***********

Hummerhome

Megan: CARLY!

Carly: What?

Megan: Stop taking my soda and drinking it.

Carly: I got thirsty.

Speed: Can't you get anything for yourself?

Carly: I could but I don't want to.

Calleigh: Alright Horatio the map says you have to take the next right.

Horatio: The map is wrong.

Calleigh: But y-

Horatio: The map is WRONG.

Calleigh: Okay.

Megan: What if the map is right?

Horatio: It's not.

JC: Don't we have Onstar or something?

Delko: We ripped it out so we could install the gigantic shades.

Horatio: You never know when the sun is ready to burn your cornias.

Delko: Oh I think we'll know. It'll be the day when HELL FREEZES OVER! *cackles*

Katie: Wubba.

Delko: *screams*

Carly: ...None of that made sense.

Katie: STOP THE HUMMERHOME!

Horatio: *presses breaks*

Katie: *runs outside*

Calleigh: Where's she going?

Carly: Who knows. *runs outside*

Anni: *runs outside*

Megan: *runs outside*

Horatio: Yeah yeah we get it. Everyone's running outside.

Outside

Katie: IT'S AN ORANGE! We're close.

Carly: What are you talking about?

Katie: Oh I was hoping we'd get to meet the cast of The O.C.

Horatio: Pfft in your dreams. No one *puts on shades* takes my timeslot.

Katie: What timeslot?

Horatio: Nothing. They never had a timeslot for...Anything. Lost on the other hand...*narrows eyes*

Calleigh: Are you okay?

Horatio: What? Oh I'm fine. I just don't want to run into another CSI: Pensacola incident.

Calleigh: Oh yeah, them.

Speed: And I was stuck cleaning up Belmontes' house. Jerks.

Delko: Hey you made the mess.

Speed: No I didn't. I got in trouble.

Delko: For what?

Speed: For acting like a baby.

Delko: Oh...But you're always a baby.

Speed: *punches Delko*

Delko: OW.

Ryan: Oh I remember that show! Bryan Ralph was my favorite.

Colton: *frowns* Of course he was.

Ryan: Whatever happened to that show anyway?

Jess: It got canceled in it's fifth season because it started to suck.

Ryan: Oh. So what happened to the actors?

Jess: They're working at the local Burger King. Although I think Ratio's working for Oprah now, I'm not sure.

Ryan: Poor Barry Guggenheimer. His show failed miserably because of a bunch of writers. Shame.

Jess: Well let's stop talking about it before the SBC snipers go after us. I'm afraid of that tv station. It's like the most powerful in the world.

Horatio: Not *puts on shades* Powerful enough.

Calleigh: ...You just put those on.

Horatio: I took them off when no one was looking.

Speed: So why are we still all kneeling over a rotten orange?

Katie: Because I can almost smell the California air. *stands* I always had a lot of fun here.

Speed: I don't think being kidnapped by a homicidal maniac constitutes as fun.

Katie: Oh no I meant when I was raising Lori by myself because you were an ass and beat the hell out of me.

Everyone: *looks at Speed*

Speed: I...Okay.

Katie: *frowns*

Speed: What?

Katie: You should have gone to jail.

Speed: Losing you was enough of a prison.

Anni: *looks at Speed*

Speed: ...Awkward. Okay. Um...Just forget I said anything.

Anni: *slaps Speed*

Speed: OW.

Delko: Hey this is fun. *slaps Speed*

Speed: OW.

Ryan: *slaps Speed*

Speed: OW.

Calleigh: *slaps Speed*

Speed: OW.

Horatio: *lifts hand*

Speed: *flinches*

Horatio: Nah, he's had enough.

Carly: So where are we going first? Fresno? Santa Cruz? Palm Springs? Los Angelas? Santa Monica? San Diego? Santa Barbara? San Fransisco? Some other...Sans and Santas?

Ryan: Santa Clause?

Horatio: We'll go wherever the highway leads my friends. And it leads *puts on shades* To California.

Calleigh: ...Did you just put another pair of shades over your shades?

Horatio: Yes.

TBC.................

 

Thanks for the reviews, as always!

:lol: I miss Ratio and his reading glasses of justice. What a cool nerd.

And in Cali, they're going to do all sorts of crazy things. It's going to be a blast...Well hopefully not literally. I don't want them to blow themselves up or anything, that would be tragic. And about Avery and Josh, I'm going to keep tight-lipped about them. Muaha.

*************

Hummerhome

Horatio: *on the phone* Alright I see. So we can't get a hotel room until you get my Visa numbers. Okay well what if I don't want to give you my Visa numbers? That's just too bad.

Calleigh: Oh Horatio just give the Visa numbers.

Horatio: No you let me handle this. Okay woman I want to know one good reason why you need my Visa numbers...Uh huh...Uh huh....Uh huh...Good deal. I don't have a Visa though.

Katie: Oh man CHEEZITS! When did we get these?

Missy: Um those look kind of old. The package looks green.

Katie: Nonsense, it adds character. *eats cheezits*

Delko: You're going to die from those.

Katie: No I won't.

Jess: Are you sure that's healthy?

Katie: Sure. As long as I don't choke.

Jess: HORATIO!

Horatio: What? Why are you yelling at me?

Jess: Make her stop eating those.

Horatio: Never. I can watch over people but I-

Delko: We know, you can't make decisions for them. Enough already.

Horatio: What? It's my catch phrase. That and "I will get you" and then there was....I don't know but there was SOMETHING.

Calleigh: Your phone's ringing.

Horatio: Oh good. *opens phone* Ho-Caine here how may I direct your call? ...STETLER! Hi...Um...No why? ....I'm on a toad rip...I mean road trip...What? No. No I didn't leave your chili in my microw....I'll call you back. *closes phone*

Everyone: *staring at Horatio*

Speed: He left what in your microwave?'

Horatio: Nothing. He's never been near my microwave. Ever. Got it? Good.

Speed: No I don't 'got it'.

Horatio: None of your beeswax.

Jess: *runs up, kisses Horatio*

Horatio: *wide-eyed*

Jess: Just makin' sure.

Horatio: *clears throat* ...Make sure of what exactly?

Jess: Nothing. But now I've kissed every guy here.

Ryan: What about me?

Jess: I don't want to get near you.

Katie: *stuffs face with cheezits* These are really good once you get past the fact that it tastes like fuzzy garbage.

Calleigh: That's disgusting.

Megan: And not to mention not very healthy. Although we've gone over that.

Colton: I think we should shove the whole bag down Ryan's throat.

Ryan: Hey! I didn't do anything wrong! And I don't want to get fat.

Katie: Are you saying I'm fat? If anyone's fat, it's Anni.

Anni: HEY! I'm p-

Speed: *kicks Anni*

Anni: -retty! Wait why am I not allowed to say that other word?

Speed: Because you didn't want to seem like a hypocrite, remember?

Anni: Oh yeah.

Horatio: There's California! Hotel California here we come.

Megan: That was lame.

Horatio: I know.

Hotel in California

Horatio: *walks up to front desk* Excuse me miss, the valet man said he couldn't park my vehicle.

Woman: What kind of vehicle is it?

Horatio: Hummerhome.

Woman: ....What?

Horatio: It's a motorhome.

Woman: If you have a motorhome, why are you staying at a hotel?

Horatio: You know I've been asking myself that same question for a long time now.

Woman: ...I'll get someone to park the Hummer thing.

Horatio: Thank you ma'am.

Woman: I also have three rooms available. 405 and 407.

Horatio: They aren't corresponding rooms?

Woman: No they are.

Horatio: Oh good.

Katie: *sitting in fountain* Man this is fun it's like a bird bath for humans.

Anni: *running around fountain* I FOUND A PENNY! I FOUND A PENNY!

Jess: You guys are getting me soaked.

Katie: Oh suck it up and join the fun.

Speed: *grabs Anni* Will you get out of the fountain?

Anni: *jumps out* I made us three cents.

Speed: Great I'll put it into a college fund now will you get over here and stop playing in the water?

Anni: *smiles* College fund?

Speed: You have a problem with that?

Anni: No way cowboy I think that's great.

Katie: Ooh who's going to college?

Speed: I am.

Katie: Why?

Speed: Um...Because I want to...Broaden my horizons.

Katie: You already have a job.

Speed: Yeah but I've always liked...College food.

Katie: Riight...The food. *walks away*

Anni: *slaps Speed*

Speed: What was that for?

Anni: College food?

Speed: You wanted me to say chicks?

Anni: At least it would have sounded like the truth.

Outside lab, Miami

Josh: *opens car door*

Avery: *runs over* Sir, I have a problem.

Josh: You don't have to call me 'sir'. What's the problem?

Avery: I don't think I processed the Trace right.

Josh: What do you mean?

Avery: Well I got a match but it doesn't make sense.

Josh: Match to what?

Avery: A trench coat.

Josh: And? What's the problem?

Avery: It said it was liquid latex. No one wears a liquid latex trench coat.

Josh: I don't think you processed it wrong.

Avery: So why's it latex?

Josh: There are some stores in Miami that sell...Questionable items.

Avery: *smiles* Like what?

Josh: You know what.

Avery: Well we have one sick murderer.

Josh: Yeah.

Avery: Does this mean we have to check out the store? Because I narrowed one down.

Josh: You knew the whole time.

Avery: I didn't know how to just come out and say it without sounding weird.

Josh: Which shop?

Avery: One on the 'questionable' part of town. We should go and see if the guy used a credit card.

Josh: Most people use cash in those places.

Avery: We won't know if he or she did until we check.

Josh: This case just keeps getting weirder. Okay get in the car.

Avery: Thanks.

Questionable store, downtown

Josh: *stops*

Avery: What are you waiting for? Get inside.

Josh: Um...Maybe a woman would be best at doing....That sort of thing...In those places.

Avery: Chicken.

Josh: I am not chicken.

Avery: So let loose and be yourself.

Josh: This is myself.

Avery: No it's not.

Josh: How would you know?

Avery: *pushes Josh*

Josh: AH!

Clerk: *looks up from till*

Josh: HI THERE! I'm looking for something.

Clerk: ...Did you fall into the right store there buddy?

Josh: Oh you! *laughs* Silly silly willy. Ha, okay so I gots a question okie doke? Alrighty. *hands over paper* I'm lookin' for one of these.

Clerk: ...One of what.

Josh: Oh it's one of those itty bitty trench coat thingies. GIRLFRIEND get over here! *grabs Avery* She's just a little shy.

Avery: *nervous smile* What are you doing?

Josh: *frowns* Being myself. *smiles* So where can I find one of these suckers? Oop *covers mouth* Poor choice of words. *laughs*

Clerk: *stares blankly*

Josh: OH COOL this one glows in the dark. *lifts box* Hey now that's handy.

Avery: *covering eyes* Oh my God.

Josh: *drops box* OH! OH! Hey are these on sale?

Clerk: Sure.

Josh: Haha yeah not cheap enough. Okie doke OH! I was wonderin' if you had one of those uh eyelash curler things. Mine broke.

Clerk: Those are across the street.

Josh: Oh yeah! Okay thanks. Now, where are the trench coats?

Clerk: In the back, I'll show you to them.

Josh: Thank you kindly young lad.

Clerk: I'm 45.

Josh: 45, 22, it's all the same to me!

Clerk: *walks away*

Josh: *skips*

Avery: ...Oh lord.

Back room

Clerk: Here they are.

Josh: Oh goodie. *sniffs trench coats* That my friends is the smell of liquid latex.

Clerk: Yeah they're pretty popular among costume parties.

Josh: Hey AVES!

Avery: ...What.

Josh: Check it out check it out. *grabs Avery's hand* Doesn't that feel smooth?

Avery: *pulls hand away* You know what, I'll go wait in the car.

Josh: *grabs Avery* HA ha not so fast my friend. You dragged me here so you're going to enjoy this.

Avery: *frowns*

Josh: So did anyone buy one of these lovely things recently? A man? A woman? Anyone?

Clerk: We sell maybe one a month.

Josh: OH GOODIE! May I please see the clientel list or something of that sort? Or oh maybe they paid with a credit card. *laughs*

Clerk: ...Why would you need to see a list?

Josh: I'm big on names. I'm lookin' for love and I'm too cheap to use a dating site.

Clerk: ...Ah. Well even if we did have a list, you can't have it.

Josh: *jumps up and down* Oh why not! Come on please? I swear I'll love you forever if you get me that list!

Clerk: No. This is previlaged information. You want to leave my store now, bub?

Josh: *lifts badge* I'm going to need that list.

Clerk: ...

Josh: If you wouldn't mind, bub.

TBC.................