Your Favorite CSI Line From any 3 Shows

Sleight out of Hand
(Mac hands Danny a lighter)
Mac: "You want to do the honors?"
Danny: "Are you lighting your arm on fire in the name of science?"
Mac: "What other job allows you to set your boss on fire? Going once, going twice..."
Danny: "Sold. But if you go up in flames, I get your office?"
Mac: "Fair enough."
 
One of my favorites from Las Vegas:

Sara: I'm looking for Catherine Willows.

Cath: She's out in the field....Sara Sidle.

Sara: I know who I am, I think your a little confused.


I'm good at quoting CSI.
 
in some buried bones at the end when they question the suspect and ask him why he killed his roomie when he says my dads chief of surgery and he expects me to follow in his footsteps and mac goes daddys gonna be very dissapointed lol love that line :p
 
Ryan: (Talking to a guy who they have figured out stabbed himself to avert suspision) "What that means is your a Moron!"
 
I have two favourite's the first one is my signature line and my second is this

[Flack randomly walks up to Stella and says... ]
Flack: "I've slept with a lot of women. Some wild, some crazy, some both."
[Stella gives him a puzzled look]
Stella: Excuse me?
Flack: Carlo's words. Not mine.
Stella: Ah.
Flack: Shoulda swung by the hospital to meet this guy. He's a piece of work. He calls himself the new American playboy. "Lives, drinks, and breathes women." Again, his words. So that in mind, as far as jealous exes go, lot of 'em.
Stella: I'd say Carlo emerges as our primary target.
Flack: Five minutes into the interview, I wanted to kill him. :lol:
 
From CSI:

[after telling Grissom something that Grissom already knows]
Greg Sanders: I guess I should stop trying to impress you.
Gil Grissom: That would impress me.

From CSI Miami:
Calleigh Duquesne: Hi guys, bye guys.
Eric Delko
: [Stopping her] Hey, Calleigh, I heard you busted the stereo man.
Calleigh: Hey, I heard you found out who the car crash victim really is.
Tim Speedle: Yup, he was a bad guy.
Calleigh: You know, maybe not all bad.
Tim: I think the mob would disagree about 1.5 million times.
Calleigh: Yeah, but you know, I was thinking. If he hadn't have stolen from the mob, then he never would have become a beach bum in Florida and then he never would have got picked up by the hurricane. Then if he hadn't got picked up by the hurricane he would have never hit Burton's car, and if it wasn't for hitting Burton's car, Burton would have gotten away with murder.
Eric: [Smiling] Leave it to you, Calleigh, to find something good to come out of a hurricane.
Calleigh: [Smiling] They do alleviate global warming.
[She leaves]
Tim: [to Eric] She's way too cheerful.
******************************
Calleigh:to suspect) There are two ways this goes down, and either way, you're dropping the gun

From CSI: NY

Mac Taylor: [about mosquitoes] Only the female of the species bites.
Stella: Good for her!
 
Oh man. I have so many favorite lines. This following line isn't even my favorite, but it's just HEE-LAIR-EE-US to me right now.

It's not that funny on transcript, but if you watch the scene you're sure for a LULZ moment. I think it's Grissom's facial expression that does it for me.

Regular CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

The scene starts with Nick scrubbing his hands with soap; trying to get the traces of uranium off of his skin.

GRIZ: I hear that uh, Greg found uranium on the swab from Felton's skull.

NICK: Yeah. He says I'm okay but you know Greg. Tell me, am I radiating a green glow?

GRIZ: You'll be fine silkwood.
 
CSI:LV

Grissom: I just got a page from James Watson.
Nick: And I got one from Francis Crick. What's going on, Greg?
Greg: Well, as you both know, Watson and Crick are the granddaddies of DNA. Without their discoveries, I'd have nothing to do all day.
Nick: What have you been doing all day?
 
These are from CSI: NY. They involve Flack's allergies to cats.
First is from the season 2 episode "Zoo York".

Flack sneezes.
Mac: Hey! Sneezing on my crime scene.
Flack: Sorry, Mac. Allergies. Cats. Hate'em.

=======================================

The 2nd is from the season 5 episode "Turbulence".

Just after a beautiful, scantily clad lady walks past him, Flack sneezes.
Flack: Either I'm allergic to half-naked women or there's a cat in here.
Danny: There's a cat in here.
Another beautiful, scantily clad lady comes walking through with a leopard on a leash.
 
Here's a good Tripp line from the season 6 episode "Sunblock". The good Tripp line will be bold and underlined.
Natalia: Let me ask you something, Frank. Do you believe in all this, you know, eclipse affecting people?
Frank: No, I don't believe in that hocus-pocus. It is what it is, it ain't what it ain't, don't make it what it isn't.
Natalia: Okay.
 
Last edited:
Greg Sanders: I guess I should stop trying to impress you.
Gil Grissom: That would impress me.

Greg: I'm like a sponge, I just absorb information.
Grissom: I thought that was my line?
Greg: Yeah, and I absorbed it.
:lol:
 
Hehe, I like Ryan and Eric's lines the other night.

Eric's line about the "cute little leather pants" that Ryan likes to wear. :guffaw:

And then Ryan saying "unless some sort of hoofed creature stole the keys and then proceeded to kill someone" or something like that. :guffaw:

Those two are so funny.

And Frank's line to a suspect "Sit down! I will beat you stupid." :lol:
 
Back
Top