EyeHeartH
CSI Level One
We were discussing, in the DuCaine shipper thread, our shock that H wasn't there for Calleigh after Hagen shoots himself in '10-7', and naturally my mind got a-churning, so here is the product of my mind's labour.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, but it feels sometimes as if the characters own my heart
Horatio stood on the tarmac, holding back tears, as the last of his family boarded the plane for Brazil. Now that Raymond, Yelina and Ray Jr. were leaving him, a wave of loneliness suddenly swept over him as the engines fired up and the plane lifted off and eventually out of sight. Tears finally trickled down his weathered face, hidden for so long behind his all-too-familiar sunglasses.
“Goodbye,” Horatio managed to choke out, for his reunion with Raymond was all too brief; so many things he wanted to say to his brother, but alas he would probably never get the chance.
The chirping of his cell phone roused him back to reality.
“He...hello?” Horatio muttered.
“Horatio?” Calleigh’s always-cheery voice sounded far different this time. It hinted at sadness on her part.
“Cal...leigh?”
“Horatio, are you okay?”
“Uh...it’s...a long story, Calleigh. Are you...okay? You sound upset.”
Calleigh’s sudden sobbing brought worry to Horatio.
“Oh Horatio...John...he...he...” Her sobs prevented her from finishing her sentence.
“Calleigh, what happened?” Horatio asked, increasingly worried for her well-being.
“He...he’s dead, Horatio.”
“What? Where are you, Calleigh?”
“At the lab. Horatio...” Calleigh said before another fit of sobs consumed her.
“Calleigh, I’ll be right there,” Horatio said before hanging up and running to the Hummer.
----------
Horatio ran through the entrance of the crime lab and searched frantically for Calleigh, at first to no avail. He called her back and inquired of her location, at that time in his office. When he entered, he ran over to her and scooped up her trembling body in his arms.
“Calleigh...I...I’m so sorry about John.”
Calleigh could do nothing but cry into Horatio’s comforting shoulder as he rubbed her back. The fact that she was in pain hurt him even more.
“Calleigh...” Horatio pulled back to wipe the flood of tears from her eyes. She looked up at him and noticed that his eyes were red, indicative of the possibility that he had been crying too.
“Oh, Horatio...” Calleigh muttered through sobs as she cupped a hand to his cheek. “He...shot himself...right in front of me...”
Horatio’s mouth jarred open in shock. “What?”
“I don’t understand...he was just fine earlier...all I wanted was to be his friend, and look what happened.”
Horatio shook his head in disagreement. “Calleigh...this is not your fault. He had some...issues...that he needed to work out. Please do not blame yourself.”
Calleigh dropped her head in shame as Horatio once again pulled her close.
“Then why do I feel so guilty?”
“You shouldn’t, Sweetheart. He had his own way of handling things, and unfortunately he chose to handle it in the worst way possible.”
Horatio felt Calleigh’s lips quiver against his chest. He guided her chin upward with his finger to look at her.
“Calleigh...this is not your fault...okay?” He too, started to sob.
Calleigh collapsed to her knees and covered her face with both hands. Horatio quickly got down with her and cradled her shaking frame.
“Calleigh...please...don’t blame yourself,” Horatio said as his tears fell to the ground.
“Horatio...” Calleigh whispered as Horatio gently removed her hands from her face.
Calleigh saw that Horatio was crying and brought a hand up to wipe them away. Horatio managed a weak smile.
“Calleigh, listen to me,” Horatio whispered. “What happened today...you had nothing to do with it, okay? He was going through some rough times, what with...Raymond, and all.”
Calleigh’s sobs had somewhat subsided. “I’m sorry...about Raymond, Horatio. You didn’t even get to catch up.”
Horatio silently nodded. “I know, but I had no choice.”
Calleigh nodded as well.
Horatio tilted his head, still looking right at her. “It’s going to be okay, Calleigh. We...are going to get through this together.”
Calleigh smiled. “That means so much to me.”
“You, Calleigh, mean so much to me. When you’re hurting, I’m hurting. I can’t imagine going through what we’ve been through without you. You...you’ve made me the man I am today, Sweetheart. You’ve made me appreciate life more than I did before I met you. If it weren’t for you, I don’t know where I’d be right now, if I were even still alive.”
Calleigh put a finger up to Horatio’s lips to silence him. “Horatio...I...I don’t know what to say. I’ve always felt there was...something there...but I never knew what you felt. Every day, when I walk into work, my day becomes ten times better when I first see you. When we’re alone on a case somewhere, sometimes I pray that your hand will accidentally brush mine, or that you’ll bump into me and apologise with that cute little stutter you get sometimes. But now...hearing you say that...now I know that we need each other.”
Horatio nodded. “We do. In case you didn’t notice, we’re complete wrecks without each other!”
Calleigh chuckled. “I felt...so helpless...as I watched John do what he did. I never needed you more than I did then.”
Horatio pulled Calleigh close. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there. I would have done everything in my power to prevent him from doing it.”
Calleigh put her arms around Horatio’s neck. “I know. That’s what I...love...about you.”
“That I put other people before myself?”
“Yes, but that’s also your major flaw. Sometimes, Horatio, you need to watch out for yourself. You’re too valuable to this team...to me...to lose your life because you weren’t watching out for yourself.”
Horatio regarded her with sad eyes. “I’ll remember that...all of that.”
Calleigh closed her eyes and laid her head right underneath his. Horatio rested his head on top of hers and closed his eyes.
“I could sit like this forever and it will never get old,” Calleigh said as Horatio resumed rubbing her back.
“If it helps, I will do anything to make you happy,” Horatio said.
“Oh, Horatio...” Calleigh said, pulling back slightly to look at him.
“I’ll always be there for you, Calleigh...always.”
Calleigh smiled as she returned to the safety of Horatio’s arms.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, but it feels sometimes as if the characters own my heart
Horatio stood on the tarmac, holding back tears, as the last of his family boarded the plane for Brazil. Now that Raymond, Yelina and Ray Jr. were leaving him, a wave of loneliness suddenly swept over him as the engines fired up and the plane lifted off and eventually out of sight. Tears finally trickled down his weathered face, hidden for so long behind his all-too-familiar sunglasses.
“Goodbye,” Horatio managed to choke out, for his reunion with Raymond was all too brief; so many things he wanted to say to his brother, but alas he would probably never get the chance.
The chirping of his cell phone roused him back to reality.
“He...hello?” Horatio muttered.
“Horatio?” Calleigh’s always-cheery voice sounded far different this time. It hinted at sadness on her part.
“Cal...leigh?”
“Horatio, are you okay?”
“Uh...it’s...a long story, Calleigh. Are you...okay? You sound upset.”
Calleigh’s sudden sobbing brought worry to Horatio.
“Oh Horatio...John...he...he...” Her sobs prevented her from finishing her sentence.
“Calleigh, what happened?” Horatio asked, increasingly worried for her well-being.
“He...he’s dead, Horatio.”
“What? Where are you, Calleigh?”
“At the lab. Horatio...” Calleigh said before another fit of sobs consumed her.
“Calleigh, I’ll be right there,” Horatio said before hanging up and running to the Hummer.
----------
Horatio ran through the entrance of the crime lab and searched frantically for Calleigh, at first to no avail. He called her back and inquired of her location, at that time in his office. When he entered, he ran over to her and scooped up her trembling body in his arms.
“Calleigh...I...I’m so sorry about John.”
Calleigh could do nothing but cry into Horatio’s comforting shoulder as he rubbed her back. The fact that she was in pain hurt him even more.
“Calleigh...” Horatio pulled back to wipe the flood of tears from her eyes. She looked up at him and noticed that his eyes were red, indicative of the possibility that he had been crying too.
“Oh, Horatio...” Calleigh muttered through sobs as she cupped a hand to his cheek. “He...shot himself...right in front of me...”
Horatio’s mouth jarred open in shock. “What?”
“I don’t understand...he was just fine earlier...all I wanted was to be his friend, and look what happened.”
Horatio shook his head in disagreement. “Calleigh...this is not your fault. He had some...issues...that he needed to work out. Please do not blame yourself.”
Calleigh dropped her head in shame as Horatio once again pulled her close.
“Then why do I feel so guilty?”
“You shouldn’t, Sweetheart. He had his own way of handling things, and unfortunately he chose to handle it in the worst way possible.”
Horatio felt Calleigh’s lips quiver against his chest. He guided her chin upward with his finger to look at her.
“Calleigh...this is not your fault...okay?” He too, started to sob.
Calleigh collapsed to her knees and covered her face with both hands. Horatio quickly got down with her and cradled her shaking frame.
“Calleigh...please...don’t blame yourself,” Horatio said as his tears fell to the ground.
“Horatio...” Calleigh whispered as Horatio gently removed her hands from her face.
Calleigh saw that Horatio was crying and brought a hand up to wipe them away. Horatio managed a weak smile.
“Calleigh, listen to me,” Horatio whispered. “What happened today...you had nothing to do with it, okay? He was going through some rough times, what with...Raymond, and all.”
Calleigh’s sobs had somewhat subsided. “I’m sorry...about Raymond, Horatio. You didn’t even get to catch up.”
Horatio silently nodded. “I know, but I had no choice.”
Calleigh nodded as well.
Horatio tilted his head, still looking right at her. “It’s going to be okay, Calleigh. We...are going to get through this together.”
Calleigh smiled. “That means so much to me.”
“You, Calleigh, mean so much to me. When you’re hurting, I’m hurting. I can’t imagine going through what we’ve been through without you. You...you’ve made me the man I am today, Sweetheart. You’ve made me appreciate life more than I did before I met you. If it weren’t for you, I don’t know where I’d be right now, if I were even still alive.”
Calleigh put a finger up to Horatio’s lips to silence him. “Horatio...I...I don’t know what to say. I’ve always felt there was...something there...but I never knew what you felt. Every day, when I walk into work, my day becomes ten times better when I first see you. When we’re alone on a case somewhere, sometimes I pray that your hand will accidentally brush mine, or that you’ll bump into me and apologise with that cute little stutter you get sometimes. But now...hearing you say that...now I know that we need each other.”
Horatio nodded. “We do. In case you didn’t notice, we’re complete wrecks without each other!”
Calleigh chuckled. “I felt...so helpless...as I watched John do what he did. I never needed you more than I did then.”
Horatio pulled Calleigh close. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be there. I would have done everything in my power to prevent him from doing it.”
Calleigh put her arms around Horatio’s neck. “I know. That’s what I...love...about you.”
“That I put other people before myself?”
“Yes, but that’s also your major flaw. Sometimes, Horatio, you need to watch out for yourself. You’re too valuable to this team...to me...to lose your life because you weren’t watching out for yourself.”
Horatio regarded her with sad eyes. “I’ll remember that...all of that.”
Calleigh closed her eyes and laid her head right underneath his. Horatio rested his head on top of hers and closed his eyes.
“I could sit like this forever and it will never get old,” Calleigh said as Horatio resumed rubbing her back.
“If it helps, I will do anything to make you happy,” Horatio said.
“Oh, Horatio...” Calleigh said, pulling back slightly to look at him.
“I’ll always be there for you, Calleigh...always.”
Calleigh smiled as she returned to the safety of Horatio’s arms.
