Wanting To Belong

Paulina

Civilian
She stopped and stood staring at the building in front of her, butterflies in her stomach as she read the giant plaque

Miami Dade Crime Lab

This is the place. She thought, and taking one more deep breath, she walked up the stairs, opened the door and walked inside.

I feel like I am in a giant goldfish bowl. She thought as she headed to reception.

The building, to her surprise was made entirely of glass and steel, a rather odd choice considering Florida suffered through hurricane season six months out of the year. She noticed the lab was very busy, personnel walking by her, not giving her a second glance. But then, no one ever gave her a second glance…some days she felt completely invisible, just walking amongst people, out of step with everyone else…

Her father used to tell her that marching to the beat of a different drummer was a good thing. She actually used to believe it until she hit high school; then she learnt that her father only told her that to make her feel better…she was his favorite, the baby of the family, and he hated seeing her hurting from the teasing she constantly endured.

I wonder if I will fit in here, she thought, approaching the desk. “Hello, my-my name is Allie Sullivan and I have an appointment.”

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The receptionist looked up and smiled at Allie. “Good morning Miss. Sullivan.” She replied. “The Lieutenant is expecting you…if you would have a seat over in the waiting area, I will tell him you have arrived.”

“Thank you.” Allie replied cheerfully, heading over to a small group of chairs located directly across from the desk. She sat down and took another deep breath, hoping that she did not look or act nervous, those darn butterflies in her stomach unwilling to relinquish their hold on her.

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Lieutenant Horatio Caine, head of the Miami Dade Crime Lab walked down the hallway and towards the reception area. He first stopped at the desk to pick up his messages before walking over to Allie.

He saw a brunette, in her thirties looking very ill at ease in her chair; she was fidgeting and playing with the hem of her skirt. She was clearly nervous and as he got closer he could see she was taking deep breaths.

“Miss Allie Sullivan?” he queried, coming to stand in front of her.

Allie stood up and found herself looking into the brightest blue eyes she had ever seen in her life. “Uh…um…yes…I’m Allie Sullivan.” She stuttered, mentally kicking herself for sounding like such a fool.

“Welcome to the Crime Lab Miss. Sullivan,” he responded. “My name is Horatio Caine and I am interviewing you for the Crime Scene Investigator position you applied for.”

She nodded, unable to get her brain to connect with her tongue to form any kind of coherent statement.

“Come with me then Miss. Sullivan and we shall get this over with.” He replied, taking her by the elbow, in an effort to guide her to his office. The moment his hand touched her elbow, she jumped in surprise, feeling a shock go through her system. He removed his hand quickly, appearing surprised at her reaction and looked at her rather oddly.

“I…I’m sor-sorry.” She said quietly, realizing she may have offended him. She knew this job would not be hers…between her nerves and her stuttering she felt like a fool. Tears were beginning to burn in her eyes, but she was determined not to cry in front of this man…or the rest of the lab for that matter. She had to get through this as best she could…she would cry later in her car when she called her father as she had promised him

“No need to apologize.” He replied simply as they walked down the hall. She quickly glanced at the man next to her and was impressed by what she saw. Standing at about six feet tall, lean, yet muscular, he wore a simple black suit that emphasized his physique and his soft red hair.

He dresses simply, but those clothes are expensive. She thought.

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“This is my office,” he said to her, as they approached an open door. He stopped and allowed her to enter first, he following behind, shutting the door.

Allie sat on the chair that stood in front of his desk and watched him as he came to sit down in his chair. “Let me have a look over your file again briefly.” He said to her, smiling at her.

She nodded as she looked around the office, unaware he was observing her discreetly.

Horatio had to admit he liked what he saw, a tall brunette with curly hair and brown eyes; she wore a dark blue tailored skirt and white blouse. She had on a matching tapered jacket emphasizing her slim waist, no jewelry except a watch and no makeup.

There was something unusual about her…he couldn’t put his finger on exactly what that was however.

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Her credentials were impeccable…graduated at the top of her class from University of Miami in Chemistry and completed her Master’s in Forensic Chemistry, graduating this past spring. She had interned at several Miami labs, her references giving Horatio glowing recommendations when he called them. There was no doubt she would be a valuable asset to their lab, but as a CSI he was not as certain…yet.

“You are interested in a CSI position here.” He remarked.

She nodded. “I am.”

“What about working in our labs?” he inquired. “We do hire civilian CSIs but the risks are greater for you out in the field due to your lack of experience and you not being able to carry a weapon.”

“I am willing to work from the bottom Lieutenant…”she replied. “I am willing to do whatever it takes…and… and the risk is something I am well aware of.”

He looked at her intently for several minutes. “Have you ever been to a crime scene?” he asked her.

“I have to admit that no I have not…”she replied. “The closest I have gotten is crime scene photographs.”

“Come in bright and early tomorrow morning…wear comfortable clothing…”he ordered. “I will take you out in the field and see how you fare.”

“Thank you Lieutenant.” She replied.

“I will make a determination based on how you do.” He said simply.

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TBC
 
Last edited:
Chapter 2 In The Field with Lieutenant Caine (Part 1)

“Bright and early Lieutenant?” she asked.

“Be here before eight in the morning tomorrow…”he clarified for her. “Be prepared for a long day as well.”

She nodded. “Understood.”

He closed her file and stood up; the interview was over and she was being dismissed. “Thank you for this opportunity…”

“Don’t thank me yet Miss. Sullivan.” He remarked, opening the door for her.

Allie walked out quickly without giving him a second glance, but she knew he was watching her.

He sat back down after dismissing Allie and opened her file again, spending the next hour re-reading it.

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Allie made it to her car after leaving the Lieutenant’s office and reached for her cell phone to call her father as promised, her hands shaking.

He answered on the first ring and asked how it went.

“It was ok Dad…I am sup-supposed to come br-bright and ea-early.” She replied, still nervous from her encounter.

“Slow down Allie and take your time.” He responded kindly in an effort to get her to regroup and refocus her thoughts and feelings.

“He didn’t exactly give me the job Dad…he is taking me out into the f-field tomorrow…he is testing me.” She explained. “Dad…what if I-“

“Allie honey, it’s ok…I doubt he would hold that against you…”he responded. “I have heard nothing but good things about this Lieutenant Caine.”

Allie sighed into the phone.

“Did you tell him about it Allie?” he asked her gently. “Honesty is the best policy.”

“No Dad…but I was st-stuttering so badly that he could not help but notice it.” She replied. “He gets paid to notice these things…he probably thinks I am st-stupid.”

“Allie…you stop that right now.” he said sternly. “You are certainly not stupid…graduating at the top of your class at University…we are all very proud of you.”

“I’m s-sorry Dad…I know how hard this is for you.” She replied.

“I wish your mother was here my dear…she always knew how to make you feel better.” He said sadly.

“I miss her too Dad…”she said. “But you did fine with us.”

He chuckled into the phone. “That I did…you girls are all an amazing bunch.”

She could hear the pride in his voice and could feel his giant grin oozing through the phone.

“Don’t forget to call your sisters…they are rooting for you.” He reminded her.

“I promise Dad.”

“Allie baby, trust your old Dad on this one…”he said gently. “Just do your best tomorrow; that is all anyone can ask of you.”

She sighed. “Okay Dad…I will call you tomorrow night if it isn’t too late…the Lieutenant told me to be prepared for a long day.”

“Good luck Allie…We are all proud of you no matter what…love you.”

“Love you too, bye Dad.” She replied, hanging up.

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Horatio had to admit to himself that her credentials were top notch and her quick intelligence and skills would only further enhance the already excellent reputation of the lab…he wanted her as part of their team. The fact that she had applied for a position of a CSI was however, unique.

He never had a civilian CSI on his team, although many CSI elsewhere were just that, civilians…they entered the scene, collected evidence and left, heading back to the lab to begin the process of analysis. Although Alexx was a civilian…as a medical examiner it was her job to examine the victim and make a preliminary determination of COD and TOD, the risk she faced at a crime scene was considered fairly low due to the fact of an initial heavy police presence. She was generally long gone before the CSIs had finished their tasks; they were often left with only one or two patrolmen to keep the scene secure.

If I hired her, would they make her feel welcome? He thought. How would they feel about a civilian amongst them?

She had been nervous speaking with him…her stuttering obvious to both of them and he could see how difficult a time she had with it; she was clearly embarassed and he had no doubt she had been teased a great deal over it.

It didn’t matter to him at all; her speech problem did not belittle the fact that she was a smart human being with potential.

Horatio decided to wait and see with Miss. Sullivan…tomorrow he would see first hand what she was capable of.

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That night, Allie lay in bed, wide awake and thought of what the next day would bring…never having been out in the field before she couldn’t even hazard a guess; she assumed that the Lieutenant had something already in mind for her first field excursion…she would just have to wait and see.

Her mind then went to the man himself; the Lieutenant, although polite, appeared aloof…somewhat distant and unfortunately, that was just the sort of thing that made her nervous.

It was difficult for her to control her stuttering once it began and she shuddered as she remembered the endless teasing she received at the hands of her classmates…

"Hey look who’s here…it’s Porky Pig….” One boy shouted, pointing at Allie, then seven years old.

“Th-Th-That’s all f-f-folks.”Another boy mocked. “Stuttering Allie.”

It would go on until the bell rang, indicating that the school day was about to begin. Allie would always come into class last, dreading another day of being asked questions. She hated answering questions…not because she didn’t know the answers, but because she could hear the whispers and giggles from her classmates around her.

She would often ask her father to let her stay home from school because of a stomachache or a headache.

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Her dad had suggested to her when she first told him of the interview to be honest and just tell the Lieutenant about her stuttering…maybe she should have done that and just gotten it over with, but it was too late to do anything about it now…

She was afraid because the more she focused on trying to control her stuttering, the less she would focus on whatever the Lieutenant threw her way…and he made it clear that a determination would be made on her abilities in the field. She was already at a disadvantage by her lack of experience…

I wonder why he even called me in for this interview in the first place. She thought. Maybe I should just call in to the lab tomorrow and cancel it.

Allie then remembered her Dad’s advice…as long as she did her best, that is all anyone, including Lieutenant Caine could ask. She kept repeating it to herself, over and over again until she truly believed it to be so. Tomorrow she would do well and she would not stutter…she would prove to her potential future boss that she belonged in the world of CSI.

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Dressed in a pair of jeans, t-shirt and sweater, and a pair of worn but sturdy hiking boots, Allie arrived at the crime lab parking lot by half past seven, hoping her choice of attire would be fine with the Lieutenant. It would be one less thing to worry about and therefore, one less thing to be nervous about.

She parked her car and killed the engine; getting out of the car she took the familiar walk to the lab building and entered, once again walking directly towards reception, a mere twenty four hours later.

“Good morning.” Allie greeted the receptionist. “I am here to see the Lieutenant…he is expecting me.”

The woman looked up and smiled. “Your name?”

“Allie Sullivan.”

“Have a seat over there and I will call him for you.”

Allie nodded and once again found herself once again sitting in the waiting area, watching various people walk by, all with serious expressions on their faces as they quickly headed to their various destinations deep within the recesses of the crime lab.

The lab’s almost perfect solve rate was no secret to anyone who lived in Miami, even the entire state of Florida was likely aware of this lab’s successes; a person would have to be living under a rock not to have heard of Lieutenant Caine and his team…a team that was handpicked and so tightly knit…

If I got this job, would they accept me…an outsider, into their family? Allie thought. I have to be crazy to think I would get this job…belonging to this elite group…people clearly at the top of their game…

She shook her head, quickly ridding herself of the negative thoughts and attempted to focus on the advice her father had given her…Just do your best that is all anyone can ask of you.

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Horatio, having received the call that Allie Sullivan had arrived, left his office and walked down the hallway, exactly as he had done the previous day. He arrived at reception and once again retrieved his messages first.

In the moment that it took to reach Allie, he saw that she was considerably more at ease then yesterday; gone was the fidgeting and playing with her clothes, although he was certain she was still extremely nervous…unsure of herself perhaps…or of knowing she was entering into unchartered territory.

It was likely a little of both. He thought, coming to stand in front of her again. “Miss. Sullivan, good morning.”

Allie, lost in her own world, jumped at the sound of his voice, looking up at him briefly before standing up.

“I am sorry I startled you.” He said.

“Oh…n-no…I was just th-thinking.”She replied, mentally cursing her inability to control her stuttering in front of this man. “I’m s-sorry.”

He smiled at her with a smile she found disarming. “There is absolutely no need to be sorry.”

“I am ready…bright and early.” She replied quickly, regaining her composure.

He nodded. “Good, let’s get going then...this will be a long day.”

After receiving a temporary badge to wear, Horatio and Allie headed to one of the SUVs parked in the lot and got in. Turning over the engine he glanced over at her.

“Ready?” he asked her.

She nodded, returning his quick glance with one of her own.

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They drove in silence for about forty five minutes before coming to a stop outside a large warehouse in the industrial section of Miami. He killed the engine and looked at her again. “This is it.”

She looked carefully at her surroundings.

Horatio made no move to get out of the vehicle and Allie turned to look at him, her brain shouting at her to stay calm…to stay focused…to just follow his lead…

"Tell me what you see.” He demanded.

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TBC
 
I am a new member looking to post fan fiction and have had some bad experiences elsewhere...I love to write mainly on Miami and Vegas characters and I sure hope you all like this story.

:)
 
It looks good so far :)
Sadly some people can be stupid when it comes to reviews...it's one thing to give constructive criticism but some idiots only know how to complain and that drives me nuts too.
 
Paulina. My computer is either acting up or cbs has taken all of the fanfics off. I cannot get in. and I cannot get updated on any of the fanfics. I had a question on the cara/horatio saga. Also on Destiny's Child and Belonging.
Also I need to find out if Braillebaby has posted any more on Happiness for H. I would appreciate some help on this please. I am very upset about this. What I would like to know on cara/horatio are we going to find out whether she finds her biological parents or finds infromation on them. Also if they have anymore children. I sure hope so. dollydarwloo
also in case i forgot her is my email address again. dollydarwloo@yahoo.com
I was also wondering if csidcfan has gotten over her writers block. I am interested in her two fics. one entitled "Bloodlines" and the other "Heaven Sent" Thank You for your help
 
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