Survivor? We Call It Camping ~ Canadian Thread #5

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by Dragonfly, Sep 27, 2007.

  1. Jacquie

    Jacquie Ward Girl Moderator

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    These questions were actually posted on a Tourism website from people wanting to attend the Olympics in Vancouver in 2010. Some one has a very good sense of humour with regards to the answers :lol:

    Now that Vancouver is 6 months away from hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people from all over the world are asking.
    Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website.
    Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!

    Q:I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?(England)
    A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

    Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA )
    A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

    Q:I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the Railroad tracks? ( Sweden )
    A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

    Q:Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? ( Sweden )
    A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

    Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? ( England )
    A: No, but you'd better bring a few extra furs for trading purposes.

    Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? ( USA )
    A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary Come naked.

    Q:Which direction is North in Canada ? ( USA )
    A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

    Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? ( England )
    A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

    Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
    A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

    Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? ( Germany )
    A: No, WE don't stink.

    Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada ( USA )
    A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

    Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
    A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

    Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? ( USA )
    A: Only at Thanksgiving.

    Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round?( Germany )
    A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

    Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )
    A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

    Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
    A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

    Who said we didn't have a sense of humour :lol:
     
  2. allmaple

    allmaple Judge

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    i have seen that list before a few years ago, it is just a joke ;) they have added some new ones since the last time i saw it though.
     
  3. Bellafibs

    Bellafibs Victim

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    Oh God, that's new. Fun stuff ^-^
     
  4. Dragonfly

    Dragonfly ~Queen of Sarcasm~ Moderator

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    Happy Turkey day, all!

    I know it's really tomorrow, but my family generally celebrates on Sunday, so I thought I'd pop in and wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving, to those of us who celebrate it at the proper time of year :lol:
     
  5. Jacquie

    Jacquie Ward Girl Moderator

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    Happy Thanksgiving to everyone whether you celebrate it today or tomorrow :) My hubby and i'll be celebrating on Monday and this year we're sparing the turkey. we're having roast beef and Yorkshire Pud. much easier when there is just the two of us this year. We're still having pumpkin pie though. You's gots to have that :)
     
  6. allmaple

    allmaple Judge

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    hope everyone had a good thanksgiving! i got to celebrate by writing a midterm :(
    not many turkeys in grenada, so i roasted some chickens and had a pot luck! made it canadian by using swiss chalet marinade and dipping sauce :)
     
  7. Axelsonfire

    Axelsonfire Pathologist

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    I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving. I did. I had turkey Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Plus, I saw all my cousins (Well, the younger ones) and spent some time with family. I had some cake last night in celebration of my sister's birthday, which was on Sunday. It had Jack Skellington on it. I also had some apple pie on Sunday :D
     
  8. Dragonfly

    Dragonfly ~Queen of Sarcasm~ Moderator

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    Hmm...

    *Checks calendar* Yep, still November.
    *Checks map* Yep, still in Manitoba.

    So... why was I able to walk home today in a skimpy tank top, and still feel warm when I got there? I actually had to take my sweatshirt off on the way because I was too warm. I think winter forgot about us... not that I'm complaining. But it's about 15 degrees C above average for this time of year.
     
  9. Flack-Angell

    Flack-Angell Rookie

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    I have Canadian relatives. XP not sure if this was relevant, but I posted it anyways.
     
  10. Vildis

    Vildis Lab Technician

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    I saw that list with questions and answers. Some of them were hilarious, but I don't understand one of them. Can someone explain this one, please?

    Q:Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? ( Sweden )
    A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
     
  11. Jacquie

    Jacquie Ward Girl Moderator

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    I have got no idea what they mean. Maybe someone else maybe able to help you out on this one.
     
  12. luf100

    luf100 Coroner

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    Uh, I'm pretty sure that's a sexual reference. If you don't know what a bush is, you might want to urban dictionary that term. Are Swedes known as sexual people? :lol:

    I'm not completely sure though. :borg:
     
  13. Vildis

    Vildis Lab Technician

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    Thanks for that one. Actually used urban dictionary now. But almost everything related to bush is about George W Bush. I am a swede by the way, that's why I asked what it is supposed to mean.
     
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2009
  14. allmaple

    allmaple Judge

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    last night my trivia team here at school got to make the questions (if you win you do the questions for next week. and get rum, it is the caribbean after all!) i decided since there are always american history and european questions i would get them all back with a canadian section! unfortunately, there were two teams with canadians on them... the british group thought a double double would be a kind of hamburger :lol:

    only three and a half more weeks until i am back home!! although i am afraid i will freeze. my mom is picking me up at the airport this year since i land at a reasonable hour, and i told her to bring me sweaters, and jackets, and blankets for the car ride home :lol: while the weather is nice here after 4 months at a time i just want to get off this tiny rock, and go to a mall!! is that bad? :p
     
  15. Jacquie

    Jacquie Ward Girl Moderator

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    allmaple the weather here lately hasn't been bad. We haven't had any snow :shifty: yet :shifty: :D the temperatures have been in the low teens some days and we are getting plenty of SUN :)

    I guess we as Canadians have a lot to teach others from around the world. Geez not knowing a double double :lol: such a classic Canadian order :lol:

    Nope not bad that you're missing out on your Mall shopping. It just goes to show that you can take the person out of Canada but you can't take the Canadian out of the person :)
     

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