I think I was only smacked once as a kid. And to this day I still remember what it was for and it is something that I have never ever done since! But with my parents it was always an explanation about why we shouldn't have done what I did, and how they were disappointed in our choices which for some reason upset me a lot more, and then it was off to the porch to think about what we had done (apparently they didn't think that the bedroom should be a place of punishment, which I guess makes sense, I still love to spend time in my room and I might not if I had spent a lot of time being punished in there.) But there was the threat of the 'jam spoon' if we were being naughty my Mum would get it out and put it on the bench and that was enough. I don't think that smacking is necessary, my parents managed to control 6 kids without it. (I think we all only got smacked once, for really bad stuff) but I do think that attitudes vary a lot depending on where you are from. In NZ most people when I was a kid viewed it as acceptable, I mean most kids were smacked. Although because we have a huge ethnic mix we have a lot of very extreame views. We also have a lot of problems with child abuse, so there is no corporal punishment in schools etc. I won't be smacking my kids when I have them, I will probably employ my parents techniques, since they seemed to work.
ohh i dont see what the big fuss is about if the kid does something really bad a good clip 'round the ear hole sorts it out, when a kid is good they should be praised when a kid is bad it needs to be punished and if that punishment is a small smack to put them back in there place so be it!
I actually think a slap on the bottom or the back of the hand when a child is misbehaving is perfectally okay. Here, where I live, no corpal punishment in schools. But at home, there's no beating, but a tap is okay. Say you have a two and a hald year old, we'll call him Sammy, who's screaming at the top of his lungs because he wants a cookie before dinner. You're in the kitchen, and he's standing infront of you at the stove. Sammy: MOMMY, I WANNAA COOKIE NOWWWW! You: No, after supper, Sammy. So he continues to scream. You insist that he stops and he ignores you. So, you kneel down to his level and slap him on the bottom to get his attention - He stops crying because you got serious. But beating, or any type of physical abuse is NOT okay. I think I got smacked once as a young child, maybe eight, because I was misbehaving and yelling at my parents infront of their friends. My mom reached around and slapped my bottom, and I shut up and went inside. Something like that. But I've never been SPANKED, or slapped. Now, I think there's a big difference between a tap and a bare-bottom or panty-clad spanking. I'm against hitting with an object like a spoon, but, as I said, a tap on the bottom or hand is a-okay in my books.
I got that once when I was 5 or 6 for being a disrespectful litte brat...and it only took that one time for me to learn my lesson. I think that spanking is a neccesary form of discipline...esp in the toddler years. My parents never baby-proofed our houses, we kids would just get a slap on the hand when we touched something we weren't supposed to. And today I have no inclination to go hit someone, I learned to be respectful and learned good self-discipline as well. When I was little there was always lurking in the back of your mind..."you might be sorry you did this type of thing" when I wanted to do something bad. And I will admit...I still get the occasionally slap on the head for mouthing off. And I'm 18!
There was a similar law that tried to pass here in Georgia about a year ago where spankings were said to be 'unlawful and considered a form of abuse.' Personally, I think that there is a right way to discipline a child and a wrong way. When I was real young I did get the occasional belt treatment but no marks were ever made I came away all the better for it. Those are spankings. Actually beating a child is something I am 100% against. It doesn't take much for them to learn their lesson and no matter how bad what they did was, no child should be smacked in a harmful way so as to leave marks.
I don't think that smacking children is always the answer... but some kids do need a good spankin! Although there is usually a better form of punishment that would be more effective then spanking... My parents would wash my mouth out with soap sometimes when I'd said something horrible and I would get threatened with the wooden spoon but my parents never actually hit me with it caus' I was good! hehehe...
it depends on why you smack them. normally it isnt to inflict pain its to scare them and get the message across. you have a problem if you want to inflict pain. but normally its more to get a message across say they run towards a road, then i think its ok to give em a light smack to get it into their heads not to run out onto open roads. normally you shouldnt actually do it hard, its more the scare that should leave a lasting impression on them.
I have three kids, two of which are grown now, and I never spanked or hit them. I found other ways to let them know they did something wrong or were in trouble.
I remember if swearing while eating, dad hit with a spoon...straight to forehead :lol: Which has caused me that nothing annoys me more than guys who have cap or hood on when they sit and eat (or something). oceanbirth, it's great that you've had other ways but because people are so different - kids are so different that sometimes there is no other way. I once watched interview..child psychiatrist...talked about traditional Finnish has been that kids have been taught from the beginning that they need to survive alone. Learn to survive alone because no one will help. So erm...here I guess there is other issues as well (and it causes mostly our dark personalities and shy and quiet people)
it makes sense that people would hit their children, but it can emotionally scar them, and somethimes it can gradually escalate. if the child is smacked across the face, then that is wrong, the child should not be hit if it cause him'her pain. If the cihld cries than it is definitely worng.
They only did it once or twice... and it worked! I think it was when I swore and I never swore after that... for a while anyway
well there has also been the question raised if the soap can poison you, so that can also be an issue. My parents sometimes spanked me but i don't really remember it very well, and i guess i turned out ok (but just LITTLE LOOPY!) lol YAY!
i agree it totally depends on the kids. i know i was a TERROR as a child and the only way to stop me was to give me a whack to the bum. seriously i was the worst lol. and while the smacks never hurt that much is was more the shock and all. i remember one time i smacked back... ROFL kids shouldnt be smacked to inflict pain. it should be to scare them into realising what they did was wrong. and DEFF only on the backside, no where near the face. OMG my dad did that to me once, i called my the C word when i was 5 :lol: i've never looked at soap the same way, i can still taste it... YUCK!
they have a child psychologist on the today show right now talking about spanking children and has given some interesting statistics. in 30 years of studying, spanking as a form of discipline has not shown to be an effective way to change behaviour in children. it puts a temporary stop to it, when the child is shocked that theyve been hit, but they will do the bad behaviour again. also in the study, 85% of mothers said they spanked their children and 10% said it worked. not worth it if you ask me, there are much better ways to deal with kids.