Muffins For All!: Fluffy CSI: Miami

S

Shining_Zephyr

Victim
A/N: Once upon a time, I liked muffins. I liked CSI: Miami. I liked both of them together. And this means… fun stuff!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own CSI: Miami. If I did, I’d be really rich.


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1. Horatio's Muffin

His day started out as regular as one could think of it. He got up, did anything that need to be done around the house, and walked to the Hummer. He got in, turned on the radio, listened to the grim stories on usually hears in Miami, Florida, and drove to work. It was Saturday, April 2. Saturdays. They were meant to be relaxing, not stressful. Happy, not sad and depressing.

Yep, Lieutenant Horatio Caine sometimes hated the weekends. It seemed as if robberies and murders haunted the halls of the crime lab, whispering, “Death… death…”

He finally arrived at work, but he was about fifteen minutes late. He checked his desk to see if there was anything good or decent, not a murder or robbery case to file. Surprisingly, there was only one thing on his desk, something much out of the ordinary. It made his day seem better already.

Horatio smiled.

It was a muffin.

He usually got stuff from his teammates, like smiles and the rare hug, but he had never gotten food. Especially a muffin. ‘This must be a joke,’ he thought.

Three pieces of paper were under the baked good. He picked up the muffin and the first note. It read:

---

To Horatio Caine:

Muffinism is a type of ‘religion’ in which you give the ones you care about a muffin, the way it relates to them, and a note from the ones you know how much you mean to them. You have been selected to receive the first muffin, a peanut butter muffin.

-Anonymous

---

The detective spotted the next paper, which said “Muffin Description” on it. Shaking his head, he opened it and read:

---

Your muffin is a peanut butter muffin. As the leader, you are usually the one to reach a crime scene first, intent on catching another criminal. Like peanut butter sticking to the roof of your mouth, your CSI: team sticks by your side through thick and thin. However, you can’t just wash them away with milk. You’ll never wash away their feelings of love for you.

---

“This is better than a busload of cheerleaders,” he muttered, putting the description down and picking up the last note, which read:

---

Horatio:

Words cannot describe the impact that you’ve had on my life. You are truly an inspiration to us all, and I hope you’ll keep it that way for years to come.

Calleigh Duquesne

-

H.:

We’ve been through so much together, it’s almost like we’re brothers in the fight against crime. I hope this feeling never dies and we keep this up for years to come.

Eric

-

Horatio,

You comfort the sad and defenseless. You destroy the evil and horror of this world. You ARE the keeper of Miami. Thank you.

Alexx

-

Horatio-

You’ve changed my life so much. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you and your kindness. Much thanks for the opportunity.

Ryan Wolfe

-

Horatio,

I really admire you and your abilities. You know right from wrong every time and are willing to risk your life. Wish I could be just like you.

Ms. Natalia

-

Horatio,

Thanks for everything.

Frank

From the bottom of out hearts, we salute you, Horatio Caine, Lieutenant of the Miami CSI.

---

A gift card for Starbucks slipped out for $25.00.

Horatio couldn’t speak. He knew his team appreciated him, but not like this. How could he not see it before? Maybe he was a little too focused on his job. Maybe today, it was a good day to be alive.

Maybe today, he would keep the new tradition of Muffinism alive.

He saw Eric walking to the evidence lab and smiled.

“I’m going to enjoy this…”

---

A/N: Please review! What do you think?
 
:eek: This is the cutest story I've read in a while.

"This is better than a busload of cheerleaders." :lol: Words cannot describe how much I loved that line.

Great job, I hope to see more! By the way, your descriptions at the beginning were really great for visual people like myself. It all went from pretty serious to light and fluffy--definitely a surprise for some readers. :D
 
Woah! Thanks for the reviews to SpeedsDaughter, speed_cochrane, and MacsGirlMel for reviewing!

---

For Miss Calleigh Duquesne, it was a very sunny day in Miami, Florida. It seemed unusually great to be alive today, and nothing was going to destroy that happiness. She had fun planting that muffin on her boss’s desk, even though she had no idea who did the anonymous note to him about how the muffin represented him.

Unfortunately, the fact that Tim Speedle was dead still haunted her. That was certain.

The woman sighed and went into the evidence lab. She didn’t have any cases she had to work on, but she felt like she was in her comfort zone when she was there. How could she not?

Something caught her eye near the microscopes. It was circular, fluffy…

She grinned. “Muffin.”

She walked over to the piece of food and examined it. Notes were next to it. The ballistics expert picked up the first note and read:

---

To Calleigh Duquesne:

You’ve been picked to accept the second muffin of Muffinism. As you may know, Muffinism is a type of ‘religion’ in which you give the ones you care about a muffin, the way it relates to them, and a note from the ones you know how much you mean to them. Your muffin is a chocolate chip muffin.

-Anonymous

---

Her eyes widened with delight. Calleigh had always found Muffinism to be a fun topic to work off of. It was like the Secret Santa sort of thing, but in a completely different sense. She never had done it at the lab until the time she was told to write something to Horatio.

Someone had decided to start the religion anew.

She picked up the “Muffin Description” piece of paper and read:

---

Your muffin is a chocolate chip muffin. Your sweet nature causes others to be deliriously happy around you- except for the criminals, of course. They’re nervous that they may get caught up in the way you get caught up with Ryan Wolfe. Everybody knows of your serious ways on the job, but when it comes to social time, you are sweeter than even raw cookie dough. That’s one muffin I’d love to have- you.

---

Calleigh smiled. It was actually ironic for her to get this flavor. She loved chocolate chips with a passion- semi-sweet, sweet, dark, milk, mint, mini, the whole lot of them. Then again, people who did the whole Muffinism thing usually had to know the person inside and out.

Go figure.

The girl picked up the friend note and giggled to herself.

---

Calleigh,

You’ve been a really big help to the Miami team for a good long time. Keep going in your efforts to serve us mot only as a detective, but as a friend to all of us.

Horatio

-

Cal,

A friend needs someone they can lean on once in a while to spill their sorrows and triumphs. You’re the one that I can go to. Thanks!

Eric

-

Calleigh,

A haiku to you:

You are sweet and nice

As the gun expert in here

I love you so much.

Ryan Wolfe

-

Calleigh,

You help one and all at the scenes of every crime. It means so much to Miami.

Alexx

-

Calleigh,

Thanks for giving me advice on both my job and my life. You’re great to each and every one of us.

Natalia

-

Calleigh,

We go together like bread and butter.

Frank

-

Cal,

I don’t think any one saw me write this part right here. I love you.

Tim

We love you so much, Miss Duquesne. Keep up your great work.

---

She blinked as she saw a $25.00 Starbucks gift card slip out.

Tim Speedle? The Timothy Speedle?

---

I know you're all thinking oO (Translation: What is this 'Speed-coming-back-to-life-thing?) He's not coming back to life. I swear! It's a bit of a secret! Thanks for reading this one!
 
Yay!!! Talleigh & CaRWash!!!! XD

I can't remember who's next, and I'm too lazy to check out FF, so I will wait patiently for the next muffin.

Oh great, now I have a sudden craving for blueberry muffins.
 
:eek:

Holy crap, I saw Tim Speedle and almost choked on my pepsi. :lol: I'm interested to see how this is going to play out, especially since it's a bit of a secret. ;)

Chocolate chip muffins really do go well with Calleigh. That's the one type of muffin I'd picture for her.

I hope no one gets a bran muffin. :lol:

Great job, can't wait for more!
 
Oh, I feel like an idiot sometimes. I'm updating the real version on FF, but I want to get it up here after all this is done. Thanks to SpeedsDaughter, speed_cochrane, and MacsGirlMel for feedback!

---

3. Eric's Muffin

“All I want for breakfast is coffee and a fast acting sugary substance that can kick start my morning,” Eric Delko grumbled as he shuffled his way into the Miami Crime Lab. “Namely, a muffin.”

He never really understood the whole Muffinism concept. Whenever Calleigh talked about it, he just got lost in the whirl of the moment. All he knew was the fact that people got food and papers. At least he knew it was about muffins. He wasn’t that clueless.

Eric walked to his desk and found some food next to the picture of his now-deceased sister, Marisol Delko Caine. He bit his lip. Glancing over at the food, his eyes widened. “Muffin. Oh, boy.”

He picked up the note and read:

---

To Eric Delko:

You’ve been picked to accept the third muffin of Muffinism. Muffinism is a type of ‘religion’ in which you give the ones you care about a muffin, the way it relates to them, and a note from the ones you know how much you mean to them. Your muffin is a cinnamon muffin.

-Anonymous

---

“Huh. Never realized that this could apply to me,” he muttered.

It all began to come together. The whole thing about Muffinism. Fun, excitement, food, love, and everything in between. Eric smiled and nodded. He realized how much he enjoyed Muffinism. After signing those notes for Horatio and Calleigh, he had an okay idea with this. Now he knew it by heart.

A note was next to the muffin. He laughed softly, picked it up, and read:

---

Your muffin is a cinnamon muffin. As the underwater expert for your team, you are the one who may do special jobs for certain cases. Your heritage doesn’t matter to other people- it’s your heart and your spice of life that gives the team the zest it needs. Cinnamon does that- it not only tastes good, it looks good, too. Just like you.

---

He raised an eyebrow. Cinnamon.

Eric had a secret weakness. He loved cinnamon rolls. The oozing cinnamon, the dripping icing…. He wanted to eat that muffin.

He hated being hungry sometimes.

He finally spotted the note from his fellow coworkers. Eric opened it and began to read:

---

Eric,

The team wouldn’t be the same without you. You are the one we can go to when we believe something is up with the case. It’s great to have a guy like you in Miami.

-Horatio

-

Eric,

I knew I could get you into this sometime or another. You’ve been so great to all of us.

-Cal

-

Eric,

You’re like the sun on a cold day- always welcomed with open arms. No matter what.

-Alexx

-

Eric,

I’m sorry that we don’t go together when we first met. Look at us now. We’re closer than I ever dreamed of. Thanks, man.

-Wolfe

-

Eric,

Let’s go for dinner later.

-Natalia

-

Eric,

Reach for the stars. I know you can.

-Frank

-

Eric,

Great job molding Wolfe, dude. I’m proud of you for helping him out.

-“Speed”

You’ve definitely dove for success, Delko.

---

A gift card for Starbucks for $25.00 slipped out.

Eric rubbed his eyes. Speed? But he was dead… right?

He pulled out a packet of cinnamon roll frosting and licked his lips.

---

Yays! I posted! And I have a new drable blurb coming here in a while. All about... RICK STETLER?!? Yep. Not enough stories about him, so drabbles'll do the trick here. Thanks for reading!
 
Thank you to those who read and review this thing! Fear the muffins! Yes, I'm hyper. I'm listening to "Through the Fire and Flames" by Dragonforce. Stupid Guitar Hero III... XD

---

Medical examiners usually are ones who take life seriously to try and help those who had some sort of evil occur in their life. Whether it was a sickness or quite possibly a death they were involved in, the ones in Miami show the kindest heart.

It’s no different for Alexx Woods. She talks to the person who died. Give them her deepest sympathy. Tell them that everything will be okay.

Today, though, Alexx didn’t have a case to work on. This surprised her, to say the least. There were rumors going around about how people were getting muffins in every which direction at every which angle. There were also rumors that someone might have been placing a practical joke in Eric and Calleigh’s, saying that Speed was there.

Whoever was doing that was a jerk.

She sighed and returned to the Medical Lab, spotting something out of the corner of her eye on the table. She walked over to see what it was.

A muffin.

She smiled knowingly. Obviously, someone wanted to carry the tradition to even those who worked in a medical facility all day long. Maybe something good would come out of all of this. Even if that Speed person was just trying to lighten the mood. She saw the papers and picked up the first one.

---

To Alexx Woods:

You’ve been picked to accept the fourth muffin of Muffinism. Muffinism is a type of ‘religion’ in which you give the ones you care about a muffin, the way it relates to them, and a note from the ones you know how much you mean to them. Your muffin is a chocolate muffin.

-Anonymous

---

Muffinism. It brought a chill of happiness through the woman like a wave off the coast of the Miami beaches. And chocolate. It was a nice thing to have once in a while, in the M.E.’s mind. Not only that, but it was good if you had it little by little.

She was suddenly really hungry.

The description caught her eye. She picked it up and read:

---

Your muffin is a chocolate muffin. Everyone knows of your true colors in the lab, and that doesn’t stop you from doing your job. Even though you are of a different descent, it makes no difference. Your heart is almost like pure chocolate, sweet and satisfying to the last drop. Sometimes, you can be bitter, though. That’s only when another person gets killed. Other than that, it’s a wonderful thing to have you on the side of good.

---

Alexx simply smiled. Chocolate, huh? Ironic on how the muffin resembled her skin tone.

She finally picked up the friends note and began to read:

---

Alexx,

You’ve been such a big help to Miami and the CSI: team in general. No matter what it is, there’s something about your personality that keeps everything somewhat lighthearted at the scenes. It’s the way you talk to people. That’s why we love your ways.

-Horatio

-

Alexx,

Something always told me that you would be a great friend and coworker. It’s the way thing is life are.

-Calleigh

-

Alexx,

We’re all of different personalities in the lab. Yours is always helpful and sympathetic. It’s wonderful to know that you always care.

-Eric

-

Alexx,

Bliss is of the heart, not the mind. You told me that once when no one could see. I keep that saying locked away in my mind now and use t so often. You’re a great mentor to us all.

-Ryan

-

Hey, Alexx.

Thanks for everything. For being the examiner, for teaching everyone how to love and anything else I left out.

-Natalia

-

Alexx,

Thanks for helping me out.

-Tim

Keep helping the defenseless, Alexx Woods. It’s what you do.

---

The gift card fell out, $25.00, as usual.

Speed? Alexx shook her head. That was something even she probably couldn’t figure out.

---

Meanwhile, up in heaven…

Timothy “Speed” Speedle was busily typing on a computer under a secret file.

It was codenamed “MUFFIN.”

---

I'm still scared that I did that. Ah, sweet memories. Too sweet memories...
 
Here's a muffin you all may enjoy...

---

5. Ryan's Muffin

Ryan Wolfe was cleaning up his desk and trying to make sure that no dust got on anything in the room. Poor guy couldn’t help it. He was OCD- that stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. And he was quite obsessive over this new Muffinism thing he had started today.

Yes, Ryan started Muffinism. He needed some fun in the office. It was a joy to do these sorts of things, and he always wanted to do a haiku for Calleigh. He never found the guts to do it. But with a muffin able to do pretty much anything in the world. And say even the deepest of feelings.

He decided he had finished his cleaning finally and heard a rustling of papers. Darn it. Someone knocked off the pages of his report. He grimaced and saw…

A muffin.

He raised an eyebrow. Some people catch on quick in the lab.

He walked over to it and looked at the three familiar pieces of paper under the muffin. “Someone really knows how to pull a prank on the prankster,” he mumbled. He picked up the first piece and read:

-

To Ryan Wolfe:

Muffinism is a type of ‘religion’ in which you give the ones you care about a muffin, the way it relates to them, and a note from the ones you know how much you mean to them. You have been selected to receive the fifth muffin, a vanilla muffin.

-Anonymous

-

Vanilla muffin? Was there even such a thing? No matter. It sounded good just the same.

And so did the fact that Ryan had his own muffin now. It made him so happy that he had gotten the lab into the spirit of food and happiness and personification…

Aw, who cares? Muffins were cool!

He smirked and looked at the next piece of paper. You all know it was the muffin description…

-

Your muffin is a vanilla muffin. Even though you have yet to find a place in the lab after these two years, you still help out in every possible way. You’re the sweetener- vanilla is the same way. It’s always a welcome addition to any dessert or some sort of sugary substance. And we all need that in our lives. Now I’m really hungry…

-

Ryan laughed out loud. It was amazing how something like this spread so fast around the lab. This was awesome. Who knows? Maybe it could get to New York someday. That was a possibility.

He reached for the note from his friends.

-

Mr. Wolfe:

It’s strange that we’ve known each other for only a few years, and yet you are growing up to be one of the most incredible CSIs I’ve ever seen. Good work. Now, about these muffins…

-Horatio

-

Ryan,

I know you love me, sweetest. Truth be told, I love you, too. Amazing how two lives can connect with each other, huh? It’s strange, though, too… and I went too deep. Love ya, sweetie.

-Calleigh

-

Wolfe,

Well, here we are so many months later, and amazingly enough, we’re tighter than brothers. Awesome, huh? You’re amazing.

-Eric D.

-

Ryan,

You’ve been so wonderful to us all. I want to thank you or everything that you have done to help lift our spirits.

-Alexx

-

Hey, Ryan,

I think I owe you one for everything you’ve ever done around here. You’re wonderful, you know that?

-Natalia

-

Ryan,

Don’t joke about cosmetic surgery ever again.

-Frank

-

Ryan Wolfe,

I know we’ve never met, and I know we never will meet, but I want you to know what a great CSI you are becoming. You’re amazing to everyone, and I am so proud that you are on the team.

-Timothy ‘Speed’ Speedle

Ryan, you are so great to us all. Keep being you’re sweet self.

-

Everyone knows what fell out next.

Ryan blinked. Speed? As in the one who died before he came to them?

Now this was scary…

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

“SPEED!” a voice roared. “Are you still doing that muffin file?!”

He looked over his shoulder. “Yes, sir! I’ve got one muffin left, sir!”

“Well, go talk to your former boss. Now!

He rolled his eyes. He never disobeyed his boss in Heaven.

---

Um, reference to cosmetic surgery is for 4x10, Shattered. Yep... no time on my hands WHATSOEVER...
 
o_O OMG, I LOVE this!!! This is so freakin' funny! Lol

*dies laughing* I love how Speed's up in Heaven typing on a secret computer file... Lol Keep it up--PLEASE! XD
 
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