She could tell by the way he turned to face her. His body angled at hers almost as if he wasn’t in control of it. His chest wanted to meet hers in an embrace that was not allowed. His arms searched for her waist. But his mind, well that was elsewhere.
She could tell by the way his eyes pleaded for her, the way they played across her face and sometimes her body. By the way they sometimes avoided her when she wore those low cut tops, scared that she would catch him looking. But none of this mattered. Not a bit because even though Mac Taylor’s body wanted Stella, his head didn’t know it.
Mac Taylor’s mind was deep in thought. It was a muddle of murders, crime and a drumming aching head pain. It beated and rattled like a snare drum and stopped him from listening to his own thoughts, thoughts that he should have been listening to. Mac knew that this way of shutting off his emotions, helped him be a more effective detective. It excluded passion, empathy and lust which he knew got in the way of finding a killer. Unfortunately for Mac the exclusion of these things allowed him not to miss them at a time when he needed them most.
For Stella this was different, she could see Mac’s passion. It spoke to her through his eyes, every connection, and every glance. Sometimes she felt she knew Mac even better than he knew himself. And every now and again she would stroke his cheek, hug him and kiss him just to keep the fading flame of passion in his heart alight. She knew he would be ready someday, to listen to his lust and not drown it out. Someday the drumming of his pain would become the beating of his heart.
When Peyton came, Stella knew that somehow Mac had managed to clear some space in the clutter of his mind. Space for a relationship, but something was wrong. She thought that his body would stop tending to her, his arms would forget to embrace and that he would stop looking; but nothing changed.
Many in the lab had remarked on how happy Mac looked, how different, but that was just a surface. He played it terribly well as he smiled and laughed but Stella knew that his mind was unclear. He still wasn’t listening.
Mac approached this relationship as a job. He ‘tried to make it work’ as if it were a machine. But machines were just bolts and steel, carefully placed and positioned to do the job. Machines lack heart, passion and emotion. Stella knew that although this relationship was working it wasn’t helping. Mac was still deaf to the voices in his heart.
Stella didn’t know how to solve this problem, she didn’t know if she was the answer. Maybe he would realise for himself. But Mac’s machine relationship was breaking down. Peyton was staying in London and now it was doing more pain than good.
Mac rubbed his eyes, they were red and puffy and Stella could see that Mac hadn’t been sleeping.
‘I thought we’d got passed that phase’ Stella said while glancing at Mac.
‘What do you mean’, Mac replied
‘You, not sleeping’
‘Me and Peyton broke up’ he told her ‘something about missing her family’ he grumbled giving Stella enough information but no emotion.
Stella paused, she couldn’t help thinking this was for the best but at the moment Mac was hurting. ‘It would never have worked’ Stella said with almost certainty ‘she drives on the wrong side of the road’ she said with a grin.
Mac knew that Stella was trying to cheer him up. But he couldn’t help thinking there was more to Stella’s statement than she meant. The truth was that Peyton pushed against the traffic. She was pushing hard because she knew men like Mac Taylor didn’t come often, but Mac needed time, time to realise what he really wanted.
‘When was the last time we had dinner?’ asked Stella
‘It was that dog show we had a case on’ Mac replied rubbing his brow
‘Well I think its my turn to take you out’ demanded stella.
They both sat burgers in hands a bench on the edge of Manhattan staring out onto the Hudson river and the magnificent bridge that crossed it.
‘Well this definitely is more civilised than my hot dog’ said Mac sarcastically. ‘I think were getting closer and closer to actually having a sit down dinner.’
‘I used to come here as a child’ said Stella who appeared to be fixated on the little fishing boat that trundled to where ever it was going. ‘Id run away from the orphanage and this is how far id get. Sometimes id imagine that my knight in shining armour would be waiting for me, ready to take me over the bridge and away from this place forever.’
She looked back on the city that she had lived in all her life. She couldn’t imagine leaving now. It was filled with the things she loved, her work, her friends.
Mac looked back at the same city but all he saw was the gaping hole where the twin towers had stood. It was as if someone had wandered into his wood and chopped down a tree. He could feel the pain, the pain of the city.
‘You never left’ Mac stated
‘No one came to rescue me’ Stella said in a matter of fact tone.
Mac did not see this side of Stella often. It had taken him by surprise. ‘I told you once that you were the strongest person I knew’ said Mac in his deep Chicago grumble. ‘You wouldn’t have been the person you are today, the strong dominant woman, if there had been someone there to rescue you.’
Stella knew he was right but maybe she didn’t want to be that person. She knew that behind the solid front of Stella there was a little girl inside, still waiting to be rescued.
‘I never trusted men before Frankie’ said Stella opening up. She paused almost scared to go on ‘. ‘No men in my place that was my rule. I thought that he cared for me, loved me, but it turns out I was wrong.’
‘Stella, your trust in men shouldn’t be decided on the actions of a criminal’.
I had no men to trust, I had no father no brother’ ‘it seems that you’re the only man I can trust in this world. I hope you can trust me.
‘I do’
‘Then you’ll trust me to tell you that Peyton wasn’t right for you. You cared for her and that was clear but it was nothing compared to what you had with Clare.
The mention of his late wife made the drumming pain worse. ‘I know that’, Mac replied ‘but after Clare died I became numb to passion and emotion, I don’t think ill ever get that back.’
‘You will, when you’re ready. I can see it in your eyes. You just need to listen to your heart Mac.’
They were silent.
No one knew how much time passed at that moment but the clouds had drawn over and were threatening to burst. A rumble of thunder broke the silence and before either of them could say a word the rain fell from the sky.
Mac pulled up his hood and sat up from the bench. He proceeded to the car in a hurry to keep out of the rain. Stella moved to the railings that separated her from the river. The rain beated against her clothes and face, her curls dampened every second. She closed her eyes and tilted her head to the sky.
Mac opened the door to the car. He looked back at Stella and called her name.
‘Stella you’re getting wet’
She did not reply. Mac couldn’t understand what she was doing. It didn’t make sense. The rain had soaked her by now as it was beating down hard. It polished her skin and dripped off her soft curls. Her shirt had soaked up the fallen precipitation and it clung to her body revealing every curve and contour. Mac noticed how beautiful she looked at that moment; he couldn’t leave her alone in the rain. Mac closed the door and stood by the car; the rain pounded against his coat and drummed a soft white noise.
Why did everything have to make sense? He thought. Why couldn’t this beautiful women stand in the rain. Mac remembered a time when he had been caught in the rain with Clare. It had been in central park 18 years ago and Clare had wanted to run from the rain and protect her hair. Mac had stopped her and had held her body neat kissing her so hard that she had forgotten about the rain.
What had happened? Where had that Mac Taylor gone? Lost in tragedy in pain?
Mac pulled down his hood and let the rain hit his face. The pain started to fade, the rain seemed to be washing it away. He felt that he understood what he had become, what he had missed.
Stella stood; her curls were now a sodden mess. Mac noticed his eyes wandering around her face down her neck and all over her body and even though the rain had created a thick sheet against his vision he had never seen so clearly before.
He approached Stella from behind and stood there until she turned.
‘What have I become?’ he asked her ‘how did I lose the ability to feel to love?’ his eyes moistened. When Clare died a part of me died with her’. Mac had started to choke his words. I became a shell. A tear escaped from his eye it melded with the rain on his cheek and became lost forever.
Mac had started to listen to his heart. Stella stood before him; she couldn’t give him an answer only a solution. She took a step towards him and raised her hand to his cheek like she had done many times before. This time she kissed him. She didn’t move her lips, just placed hers to his. Mac closed his eyes and pulled away. Her kiss had been so tender, so electric but his gaze had not left the floor. She apologised.
‘I’m sorry Mac, I shouldn’t have….’ Stella trailed off and began to the car.
Mac did not turn just said ‘wait’ she looked back at him. He was now soaked as well. Maybe the rain would erase what she had just done. She didn’t regret it though. Stella Bonasera regretted few things and experiencing his soft lips against hers would not be one of them.
Mac approached Stella. She had not seen this look in his eyes before but Stella had no time to think. His chest met hers, his arms wrapped around her waist and he kissed her as hard as he had kissed Clare.
His heart ached as the pain became a yearning desire. He didn’t stop kissing, he couldn’t he wasn’t in control any more. His arms pulled her closer, she never was close enough. Stella became weak her muscles now powerless. For once in her life she was fragile.
Mac stopped kissing and pulled away. He was too embarrassed to look into her eyes. His grip became loose and he got into the car.
None of them spoke on the journey home. They didn’t know what to say. Stella struggled with her gym bag, pulled out a towel and started to dry her curls. Mac did not look at her. He was scared that there eyes would meet and he would remember the feel of her moist lips. He licked his own, he could still taste her.
Stella wondered that if it was the rain that had over come them, if they had been lost in the romance of the situation. She wanted to look into Mac’s eyes and see if there was any regret but she was afraid to turn. They both stared ahead.
Only the steady beat of the windscreen wipers and the rain which it struggled to clear could be heard.
.................................................
hope you liked it and i hope that it was too long. Plse tell me if you liked it and wether i should carry on with the story or not.
ps.smacked rules :devil:
She could tell by the way his eyes pleaded for her, the way they played across her face and sometimes her body. By the way they sometimes avoided her when she wore those low cut tops, scared that she would catch him looking. But none of this mattered. Not a bit because even though Mac Taylor’s body wanted Stella, his head didn’t know it.
Mac Taylor’s mind was deep in thought. It was a muddle of murders, crime and a drumming aching head pain. It beated and rattled like a snare drum and stopped him from listening to his own thoughts, thoughts that he should have been listening to. Mac knew that this way of shutting off his emotions, helped him be a more effective detective. It excluded passion, empathy and lust which he knew got in the way of finding a killer. Unfortunately for Mac the exclusion of these things allowed him not to miss them at a time when he needed them most.
For Stella this was different, she could see Mac’s passion. It spoke to her through his eyes, every connection, and every glance. Sometimes she felt she knew Mac even better than he knew himself. And every now and again she would stroke his cheek, hug him and kiss him just to keep the fading flame of passion in his heart alight. She knew he would be ready someday, to listen to his lust and not drown it out. Someday the drumming of his pain would become the beating of his heart.
When Peyton came, Stella knew that somehow Mac had managed to clear some space in the clutter of his mind. Space for a relationship, but something was wrong. She thought that his body would stop tending to her, his arms would forget to embrace and that he would stop looking; but nothing changed.
Many in the lab had remarked on how happy Mac looked, how different, but that was just a surface. He played it terribly well as he smiled and laughed but Stella knew that his mind was unclear. He still wasn’t listening.
Mac approached this relationship as a job. He ‘tried to make it work’ as if it were a machine. But machines were just bolts and steel, carefully placed and positioned to do the job. Machines lack heart, passion and emotion. Stella knew that although this relationship was working it wasn’t helping. Mac was still deaf to the voices in his heart.
Stella didn’t know how to solve this problem, she didn’t know if she was the answer. Maybe he would realise for himself. But Mac’s machine relationship was breaking down. Peyton was staying in London and now it was doing more pain than good.
Mac rubbed his eyes, they were red and puffy and Stella could see that Mac hadn’t been sleeping.
‘I thought we’d got passed that phase’ Stella said while glancing at Mac.
‘What do you mean’, Mac replied
‘You, not sleeping’
‘Me and Peyton broke up’ he told her ‘something about missing her family’ he grumbled giving Stella enough information but no emotion.
Stella paused, she couldn’t help thinking this was for the best but at the moment Mac was hurting. ‘It would never have worked’ Stella said with almost certainty ‘she drives on the wrong side of the road’ she said with a grin.
Mac knew that Stella was trying to cheer him up. But he couldn’t help thinking there was more to Stella’s statement than she meant. The truth was that Peyton pushed against the traffic. She was pushing hard because she knew men like Mac Taylor didn’t come often, but Mac needed time, time to realise what he really wanted.
‘When was the last time we had dinner?’ asked Stella
‘It was that dog show we had a case on’ Mac replied rubbing his brow
‘Well I think its my turn to take you out’ demanded stella.
They both sat burgers in hands a bench on the edge of Manhattan staring out onto the Hudson river and the magnificent bridge that crossed it.
‘Well this definitely is more civilised than my hot dog’ said Mac sarcastically. ‘I think were getting closer and closer to actually having a sit down dinner.’
‘I used to come here as a child’ said Stella who appeared to be fixated on the little fishing boat that trundled to where ever it was going. ‘Id run away from the orphanage and this is how far id get. Sometimes id imagine that my knight in shining armour would be waiting for me, ready to take me over the bridge and away from this place forever.’
She looked back on the city that she had lived in all her life. She couldn’t imagine leaving now. It was filled with the things she loved, her work, her friends.
Mac looked back at the same city but all he saw was the gaping hole where the twin towers had stood. It was as if someone had wandered into his wood and chopped down a tree. He could feel the pain, the pain of the city.
‘You never left’ Mac stated
‘No one came to rescue me’ Stella said in a matter of fact tone.
Mac did not see this side of Stella often. It had taken him by surprise. ‘I told you once that you were the strongest person I knew’ said Mac in his deep Chicago grumble. ‘You wouldn’t have been the person you are today, the strong dominant woman, if there had been someone there to rescue you.’
Stella knew he was right but maybe she didn’t want to be that person. She knew that behind the solid front of Stella there was a little girl inside, still waiting to be rescued.
‘I never trusted men before Frankie’ said Stella opening up. She paused almost scared to go on ‘. ‘No men in my place that was my rule. I thought that he cared for me, loved me, but it turns out I was wrong.’
‘Stella, your trust in men shouldn’t be decided on the actions of a criminal’.
I had no men to trust, I had no father no brother’ ‘it seems that you’re the only man I can trust in this world. I hope you can trust me.
‘I do’
‘Then you’ll trust me to tell you that Peyton wasn’t right for you. You cared for her and that was clear but it was nothing compared to what you had with Clare.
The mention of his late wife made the drumming pain worse. ‘I know that’, Mac replied ‘but after Clare died I became numb to passion and emotion, I don’t think ill ever get that back.’
‘You will, when you’re ready. I can see it in your eyes. You just need to listen to your heart Mac.’
They were silent.
No one knew how much time passed at that moment but the clouds had drawn over and were threatening to burst. A rumble of thunder broke the silence and before either of them could say a word the rain fell from the sky.
Mac pulled up his hood and sat up from the bench. He proceeded to the car in a hurry to keep out of the rain. Stella moved to the railings that separated her from the river. The rain beated against her clothes and face, her curls dampened every second. She closed her eyes and tilted her head to the sky.
Mac opened the door to the car. He looked back at Stella and called her name.
‘Stella you’re getting wet’
She did not reply. Mac couldn’t understand what she was doing. It didn’t make sense. The rain had soaked her by now as it was beating down hard. It polished her skin and dripped off her soft curls. Her shirt had soaked up the fallen precipitation and it clung to her body revealing every curve and contour. Mac noticed how beautiful she looked at that moment; he couldn’t leave her alone in the rain. Mac closed the door and stood by the car; the rain pounded against his coat and drummed a soft white noise.
Why did everything have to make sense? He thought. Why couldn’t this beautiful women stand in the rain. Mac remembered a time when he had been caught in the rain with Clare. It had been in central park 18 years ago and Clare had wanted to run from the rain and protect her hair. Mac had stopped her and had held her body neat kissing her so hard that she had forgotten about the rain.
What had happened? Where had that Mac Taylor gone? Lost in tragedy in pain?
Mac pulled down his hood and let the rain hit his face. The pain started to fade, the rain seemed to be washing it away. He felt that he understood what he had become, what he had missed.
Stella stood; her curls were now a sodden mess. Mac noticed his eyes wandering around her face down her neck and all over her body and even though the rain had created a thick sheet against his vision he had never seen so clearly before.
He approached Stella from behind and stood there until she turned.
‘What have I become?’ he asked her ‘how did I lose the ability to feel to love?’ his eyes moistened. When Clare died a part of me died with her’. Mac had started to choke his words. I became a shell. A tear escaped from his eye it melded with the rain on his cheek and became lost forever.
Mac had started to listen to his heart. Stella stood before him; she couldn’t give him an answer only a solution. She took a step towards him and raised her hand to his cheek like she had done many times before. This time she kissed him. She didn’t move her lips, just placed hers to his. Mac closed his eyes and pulled away. Her kiss had been so tender, so electric but his gaze had not left the floor. She apologised.
‘I’m sorry Mac, I shouldn’t have….’ Stella trailed off and began to the car.
Mac did not turn just said ‘wait’ she looked back at him. He was now soaked as well. Maybe the rain would erase what she had just done. She didn’t regret it though. Stella Bonasera regretted few things and experiencing his soft lips against hers would not be one of them.
Mac approached Stella. She had not seen this look in his eyes before but Stella had no time to think. His chest met hers, his arms wrapped around her waist and he kissed her as hard as he had kissed Clare.
His heart ached as the pain became a yearning desire. He didn’t stop kissing, he couldn’t he wasn’t in control any more. His arms pulled her closer, she never was close enough. Stella became weak her muscles now powerless. For once in her life she was fragile.
Mac stopped kissing and pulled away. He was too embarrassed to look into her eyes. His grip became loose and he got into the car.
None of them spoke on the journey home. They didn’t know what to say. Stella struggled with her gym bag, pulled out a towel and started to dry her curls. Mac did not look at her. He was scared that there eyes would meet and he would remember the feel of her moist lips. He licked his own, he could still taste her.
Stella wondered that if it was the rain that had over come them, if they had been lost in the romance of the situation. She wanted to look into Mac’s eyes and see if there was any regret but she was afraid to turn. They both stared ahead.
Only the steady beat of the windscreen wipers and the rain which it struggled to clear could be heard.
.................................................
hope you liked it and i hope that it was too long. Plse tell me if you liked it and wether i should carry on with the story or not.
ps.smacked rules :devil:
