ladyhunter
Head of the Swing Shift
Summary: Danny reflects Rubens death and how Rikki wound up in his arms.
CSI:NY
Danny/Rikki
Spoilers: Right Next Door
A short piece I had to write after watching that episode.
I Needed to Love You
Danny sat on the small concrete patio out the window of his small Manhattan apartment. He tried desperately not to close his eyes. The beer he was swilling mixed with the combination of working a horrendous amount added to the fatigue he was feeling at the moment. Briefly he closed his eyes as darkness came over him. The darkness was something he had become accustom to. Even since he saw his young neighbor Ruben Sandoval died on a street corner, the darkness of that day hasn’t escaped him.
Sometimes Danny wondered what would happen if he ever surrendered to the darkness, what would happen if he closed his eyes never to open them again. Would he feel any better? Would it ease the pain and confusion he was feeling? Would it ease Rikki’s pain if Danny died as well? More nagging questions for his over-taxed brain.
The warm sun of the New York spring kept Danny from completely falling asleep in his beat up lawn chair leaning up against the huge air conditioner on the small patio. Children’s voices carried up to where he sat thinking about beer number two….or four… somehow he lost count of how many he had actually consumed. It didn’t matter at the moment. All he could think about was how Ruben’s voice should be mixed in with the other children from the neighborhood. He should be playing kick-the-can and tag with the rest of the kids from the neighborhood. Ruben should be ogling over baseball cards and talking about the girls in his class. All of these things Danny briefly remembered from his childhood, all happy things. But Ruben wouldn’t enjoy any of them, he’s dead. He died at the hand of some asshole. The worst part of the situation is that Danny was supposed to be there to protect him; Danny was supposed to be his guardian that day. But Danny failed; the boy got shot and died right in front of him. How was Danny EVER supposed to live that down? How was he ever supposed to look Ruben’s mother in the eye and tell her that it was Danny’s fault that Ruben died?
A quiet knock came from outside his apartment. He didn’t know if he should ignore it or not. The knock came a little louder.
“Alright, alright,” he grumbled getting his tired body out of the chair. He rubbed his aching eyes hoping that whoever stood on the other side of the door was someone he could dismiss easily.
“Rikki,” He breathed. Turned out he was wrong, he couldn’t dismiss her at all.
~~~~
Rikki couldn’t help but feel an attachment to Danny Messer, even an attraction to him. She found herself with butterflies in her stomach every time she saw him in the hall but she hid her attraction. Somehow, though she always managed a smile for him. When tragedy struck both of their lives, it was Danny who she turned to, it was Danny that she took solace in. It was Danny that made her feel like all the troubles of the world vanished when she was with him, and it was Danny who she felt she could love…
He stood there in his kitchen offering to make breakfast for her.
She was wearing his favorite shirt… only. The image of Rikki in his favorite shirt brought a smile to his face.
“I’ll have to take a rain-check on Messer’s famous omelet,” she smiled from across the room picking up the clothes she wore last night.
Danny thought for a few moments as he watched her pick up her clothes.
Danny Messer wasn’t looking for a relationship; he wasn’t looking for much of anything when it came to women. A few women found their way into his bed since moving from Staten Island to Manhattan. One woman in particular caught his eye, Lindsay Monroe. She had come to the New York Crime Lab all the way from Montana on the request of Mac Taylor, the Lab Supervisor. He liked her, he really liked her. She was smart, had nice big brown eyes and a terrific smile. One weakness, he found with her, like all women, was that she talked too much. A quality he found somewhat endearing. She knew her chemical compounds like the back of her hand, much to his surprise. She was much better in the lab than out in the field. Maybe it was better that way, he used to think, that way he could always see her face when he returned to the lab.
His attraction to Lindsay prompted him to ask her out only to have her stand him up. The response she gave him was that …”it’s complicated.” He would have been willing to listen whatever problem she had. Over the year since he asked her out, he found her sending mixed signals to him. Some days she says she wants to have a relationship; other days she blew him off like it meant nothing. These actions confused him. If she didn’t know what she wanted, then how was he supposed to know? Eventually he gave up on pursuing anything with Lindsay Monroe.
Now, Rikki, Rubens mother, stood in his living room with only his favorite shirt on. They found comfort in each other despite the fact that Rikki said that Ruben’s death was not Danny’s fault.
“When are you going wake up and realize that Ruben’s death was an accident, it wasn’t your fault?” Rikki questioned Danny while she was wrapped in his embrace.
Danny wanted to touch her and to love her and to make the hurt go away for both of them. His thoughts were not rational but it didn’t matter to him that she said she was using him so she didn’t want to be alone. He didn’t want to be alone either. The shroud of darkness that he felt after her son’s death was starting to dissipate. It was her that he didn’t want to let go of, it was her that he wanted to hold and to touch and to love.
“Danny, don’t you see, I needed to love you, I needed to feel your arms around me, I needed you to tell me everything was okay.” Rikki sighed into his chest. A tear crept from her eye. His strong hand wiped it away.
She took a few stuttered breaths, “And I don’t want you to stop loving me…”she quietly added.
“I don’t want to stop loving you either; “Danny quietly replied above her head.
“How did we find ourselves here? I mean, had Ruben not died, would I still be here?”
“I’d like to think so,” his lips pulled into a smile.
CSI:NY
Danny/Rikki
Spoilers: Right Next Door
A short piece I had to write after watching that episode.
I Needed to Love You
Danny sat on the small concrete patio out the window of his small Manhattan apartment. He tried desperately not to close his eyes. The beer he was swilling mixed with the combination of working a horrendous amount added to the fatigue he was feeling at the moment. Briefly he closed his eyes as darkness came over him. The darkness was something he had become accustom to. Even since he saw his young neighbor Ruben Sandoval died on a street corner, the darkness of that day hasn’t escaped him.
Sometimes Danny wondered what would happen if he ever surrendered to the darkness, what would happen if he closed his eyes never to open them again. Would he feel any better? Would it ease the pain and confusion he was feeling? Would it ease Rikki’s pain if Danny died as well? More nagging questions for his over-taxed brain.
The warm sun of the New York spring kept Danny from completely falling asleep in his beat up lawn chair leaning up against the huge air conditioner on the small patio. Children’s voices carried up to where he sat thinking about beer number two….or four… somehow he lost count of how many he had actually consumed. It didn’t matter at the moment. All he could think about was how Ruben’s voice should be mixed in with the other children from the neighborhood. He should be playing kick-the-can and tag with the rest of the kids from the neighborhood. Ruben should be ogling over baseball cards and talking about the girls in his class. All of these things Danny briefly remembered from his childhood, all happy things. But Ruben wouldn’t enjoy any of them, he’s dead. He died at the hand of some asshole. The worst part of the situation is that Danny was supposed to be there to protect him; Danny was supposed to be his guardian that day. But Danny failed; the boy got shot and died right in front of him. How was Danny EVER supposed to live that down? How was he ever supposed to look Ruben’s mother in the eye and tell her that it was Danny’s fault that Ruben died?
A quiet knock came from outside his apartment. He didn’t know if he should ignore it or not. The knock came a little louder.
“Alright, alright,” he grumbled getting his tired body out of the chair. He rubbed his aching eyes hoping that whoever stood on the other side of the door was someone he could dismiss easily.
“Rikki,” He breathed. Turned out he was wrong, he couldn’t dismiss her at all.
~~~~
Rikki couldn’t help but feel an attachment to Danny Messer, even an attraction to him. She found herself with butterflies in her stomach every time she saw him in the hall but she hid her attraction. Somehow, though she always managed a smile for him. When tragedy struck both of their lives, it was Danny who she turned to, it was Danny that she took solace in. It was Danny that made her feel like all the troubles of the world vanished when she was with him, and it was Danny who she felt she could love…
He stood there in his kitchen offering to make breakfast for her.
She was wearing his favorite shirt… only. The image of Rikki in his favorite shirt brought a smile to his face.
“I’ll have to take a rain-check on Messer’s famous omelet,” she smiled from across the room picking up the clothes she wore last night.
Danny thought for a few moments as he watched her pick up her clothes.
Danny Messer wasn’t looking for a relationship; he wasn’t looking for much of anything when it came to women. A few women found their way into his bed since moving from Staten Island to Manhattan. One woman in particular caught his eye, Lindsay Monroe. She had come to the New York Crime Lab all the way from Montana on the request of Mac Taylor, the Lab Supervisor. He liked her, he really liked her. She was smart, had nice big brown eyes and a terrific smile. One weakness, he found with her, like all women, was that she talked too much. A quality he found somewhat endearing. She knew her chemical compounds like the back of her hand, much to his surprise. She was much better in the lab than out in the field. Maybe it was better that way, he used to think, that way he could always see her face when he returned to the lab.
His attraction to Lindsay prompted him to ask her out only to have her stand him up. The response she gave him was that …”it’s complicated.” He would have been willing to listen whatever problem she had. Over the year since he asked her out, he found her sending mixed signals to him. Some days she says she wants to have a relationship; other days she blew him off like it meant nothing. These actions confused him. If she didn’t know what she wanted, then how was he supposed to know? Eventually he gave up on pursuing anything with Lindsay Monroe.
Now, Rikki, Rubens mother, stood in his living room with only his favorite shirt on. They found comfort in each other despite the fact that Rikki said that Ruben’s death was not Danny’s fault.
“When are you going wake up and realize that Ruben’s death was an accident, it wasn’t your fault?” Rikki questioned Danny while she was wrapped in his embrace.
Danny wanted to touch her and to love her and to make the hurt go away for both of them. His thoughts were not rational but it didn’t matter to him that she said she was using him so she didn’t want to be alone. He didn’t want to be alone either. The shroud of darkness that he felt after her son’s death was starting to dissipate. It was her that he didn’t want to let go of, it was her that he wanted to hold and to touch and to love.
“Danny, don’t you see, I needed to love you, I needed to feel your arms around me, I needed you to tell me everything was okay.” Rikki sighed into his chest. A tear crept from her eye. His strong hand wiped it away.
She took a few stuttered breaths, “And I don’t want you to stop loving me…”she quietly added.
“I don’t want to stop loving you either; “Danny quietly replied above her head.
“How did we find ourselves here? I mean, had Ruben not died, would I still be here?”
“I’d like to think so,” his lips pulled into a smile.
