I guess we're gonna have to go with 3 captions -- it's voting time.
1.
Eric: Whew, you'd think that these rich gang members would at least brush their teeth.
2.
Eric: "Dude, I don't lean that way. Wipe that smile off your face."
3.
Eric: Ew, dude. You got, like, something...right there. Your nose, it's hanging. Dude, ever heard of a Kleenex?