Here we go, ya'll know the drill. Good luck, Captioneers!
1.
Rick: I really hate Dan Cooper.
Horatio: Why is that, Rick?
Rick: He made fun of my tie. My mother gave me this tie.
Horatio: I don't see anything wrong with that tie, Rick.
2.
Horatio: "What's wrong, Rick?"
Rick: "There was something in that chili you bought me, Horatio! Now hurry up and do your one-liner or I ain't never gonna make it to the bathroom!"
3.
Rick: Go ahead, Horatio. Make... my... day!
Horatio: My lawyers will see you about... those pauses. And if you ever put sunglasses on while doing it... I'll take you to court.
4.
Rick: "Okay Horatio, remember: the first person to look away loses. Staring contest starting...now!"
5.
Stetler: "Hey Horatio, check this out, my best impression of Don Flack! Whadda you think?"
H: *chuckles* "Sorry Rick, I'm afraid even Yelina on a bad day can do a better impression. Nice try though"
Stetler: "OK, how about my impression of you?"
H: *chuckles even harder* "Nope, sorry, not even close, you need to squint your eyes and lower your head more"
Stetler: "Like this?"
H: "More to the side and lower"
Stetler: "How about now?"
H: "Lower"
Stetler: "And now?"
H: "Low-oh it's useless. Ryan, where's Ryan? He can show you"