Chapter 5 - Emotionally Sara arrived at the lab with some apprehension. It was not only because of what she might find out that had happened at the scene, which caused Greg to think it his fault, but also because of the reaction of her other co-workers, how they would treat her now. She wanted to learn what exactly had happened, but at the same time she did not want to think about their loss. And her co-workers would remind her of it with the whole of their behavior towards her. She would have preferred it for now, if they just treated her as usual. She wanted to shut out her grief for the time being; it would only hinder her in her inquiry, would only hinder her being rational exactly then when she needed to be that. Sara entered the building and felt the glances on her. The looks from the people from dayshift that had just begun, and the glances from some techs from her own shift who were on their way home. Word had traveled fast, obviously, and unsurprisingly. The message of the death of one of their own – be it from police department or from the crime lab – always got around quickly. And that Sara had been involved as well had apparently gone around with that message as well. She avoided the glances, ignored them as far as she could. It came now to Sara’s mind that she did not even know where to go first. She could not head to Grissom’s office anymore; she could, but nobody would be there anymore. She wondered who of the graveyard shift would still be at the lab at this time of the day at all, especially after what had happened. And Sara wondered where she should start. Where to start asking questions. Probably they would have questions for her first. It would be the normal procedure. She could be happy, if they told her anything, especially before she had given her own statement, but even after that. And she wondered who “they” were. Who would take over the investigation of the happenings on the scene, of the shooting, of Grissom’s death? Sara was interrupted in her thoughts when Nick suddenly came out of the room she had just been walking by. He called her name and she turned to him, her face almost expressionless. Her first reaction on seeing Nick would have been a short smile, even if it was a forced one, but she could not smile at him now, feeling it was inappropriate. But neither did she want him to think that she was close to falling apart. So she settled for nearly no expression, just like she wanted to feel nothing right now. Nick interpreted her look as a sign how hurt and upset she actually was. He was giving her a hug before she really realized what he was doing. Sara winced from the touch on her injured arm and freed herself from Nick’s hug awkwardly. “Sorry,” he said quickly. “Never mind. That’s nothing.” She pointed at her arm shrugging. Nick did not seem to be too convinced; her flinching when he had touched her had been evidence enough that it was not nothing. “How are you?” he asked. “I’m fine,” she ensured him quickly. Nick had not expected a different answer from her. “Greg’s at the hospital?” he asked then and Sara nodded. “How is he?” “He’ll be alright,” Sara replied, but her friend had noticed her brief hesitation. “Really?” he asked worriedly. “Yeah,” Sara said firmly, but added after a moment, “He’s in shock.” Greg clearly was. That had to be the explanation for everything. “We all are,” Nick replied softly. Sara was silent and after a moment she said goodbye to him quickly, brushing past him. Realizing that she still did not know where to go she turned around to him again and asked, ignoring his slightly puzzled expression, “Is Catherine here?” Sara figured she was, unless she was out for work. Sara doubted that Catherine would just go home in a situation like this one. As a matter of fact, she was probably their supervisor, now that Grissom was dead. Ecklie would have to confirm it, but Sara did not doubt that he would. “She’s in Grissom’s office,” Nick answered quietly, and Sara frowned, wondering bitterly if Catherine had already taken over there. “She’s doing some paperwork that has to be done,” Nick added quickly, seeing Sara’s change of expression. “Of course,” she replied simply. She was about to turn around again and walk off, when Nick spoke again. “If you need anything…” Sara nodded, finally smiling now. “I’ll call you, if I need anything,” she promised. Nick nodded as well and Sara marched off into the direction of Grissom’s office. The door to it was open and Sara could see Catherine sitting at the desk, writing. It was not the first time that she saw her this way. Before Catherine had become supervisor and had gotten her own office, she had on two or three occasions taken over Grissom’s paperwork, when he had been out of town, for a case or a conference of course, since Grissom never took vacation. Then Catherine had been sitting on the desk just like now. Sara remained standing in the door frame before the other woman looked up. “Sara, you haven’t been at home, have you?” Sara only looked at her silently and Catherine sighed. “Of course not.” “I need to know what happened.” Sara sounded determined. It was of course clear that she meant the shooting, but Catherine could have asked her what she meant exactly, since Sara had been there at the scene after all, but she knew that Sara wanted to know the particulars about Grissom’s death. She doubted however that it was the right time for Sara to talk about that, and it was not like that Catherine herself had a clear picture of what had happened so far. “You’d better go home and get some rest,” she told her therefore. Sara’s eyes narrowed angrily. “Already playing the boss, are we?” She did not really know what had driven her to say this, but Catherine sitting at Grissom’s desk, doing Grissom’s work, after he was not even dead for twelve hours, and then even trying to tell her what she had to do, while she wanted, needed, to find out what had happened for Greg’s sake, had likely something to do with it. Catherine looked at her sternly. She knew that Sara’s stress level was high, just like everybody else’s of course, but there was not really a point in entering the conflict she was trying to push her into. “I don’t know exactly what happened, and I don’t know how much you should know before you’ve given your statement,” she started explaining. “What I’ve heard from the officer who was with Gil is that they were in the room at the far end of the warehouse when the officer heard Greg calling for help in the next room. He went over to him and that was when the shooting started,” Catherine offered. “Why did Greg call for help? Did he see one of the perps before it started?” Catherine shrugged. “I don’t know. We’ll have to ask Greg himself.” Sara seemed to be in thoughts for some moments, before she asked quietly, “Why does he think it’s his fault?” Catherine realized that Sara was worrying for Greg, additionally to all the other things that were pushing everybody on their shift to their edge now. She apparently did not only grieve for Grissom, but was at the same time obviously not able to feel relief that Greg had gotten off lightly, that he was - at least physically - on the way to recovery. Sara was afraid that Greg blamed himself. Greg had not been like himself when Catherine had spent him a short visit earlier, but she had thought it were only the normal after-effects of what had happened, even though Sara had hinted that he was thinking it is fault. Catherine had not taken that seriously. But remembering Greg’s behavior earlier, she thought now that Sara might be right, and that her concern was justified. The question was only why Greg could think that he was to blame. That was what Sara wanted to find out of course, but Catherine did not know it either. “Because he called for help which left Gil alone,” she could only guess. “That’s the only idea I have.” She shook her head. “But as he couldn’t know that the perp would start shooting in the other room, this doesn’t make it his fault.” Catherine made a long break, looking at Sara who seemed to be on the verge of tears. “The coroner told me that Gil was instantly dead when he was shot,” she explained Sara sadly. “The officer probably couldn’t have done anything, even if Greg hadn’t called him away.” TBC
Chapter 6: Insistently Greg woke up to the sound of the door of the hospital room being shut. He opened his eyes just a crack to see whether somebody had entered or left. To his relief the latter seemed to be the case as he did not detect anybody in the room. He was not keen on seeing anybody. The last person who had been here when he was awake had been Sara and Greg had pretended to sleep. He did not know if she had bought that. She had called his name several times, but had left then. Under normal circumstances Greg would have expected her to be more insistent. While he was longing to see her, to take her into his arms, he was at the same time afraid of meeting her. He could not look her into the eyes. And he was afraid of what she would say. He had actually been surprised that she had come back at all after he had told her that it was his fault. She had not left directly. Had he expected her to? He did not know. The door was opened again and Greg looked up, seeing a nurse glancing into the room. She smiled at him for a moment, before she turned her head to a person who was obviously standing outside although Greg could not see them. “He’s awake now,” she said cheerfully and stepped aside to let the other person enter the room. Greg was a bit disagreeing that she had not even asked him if he wanted to see anybody, but how could she know that he did not? He especially did not want to see Sara who was walking into the room now, wearing a smile like the nurse had. Only Sara’s seemed rather strained and Greg could not blame her. The nurse left them alone and Sara sat down in the chair next to the bed, breathing a soft “Hey.” “Hey,” Greg returned, knowing he could not avoid some conversation now. There was no possible way he could pretend to be sleeping again. “How are you doing?” Sara wanted to know, and Greg was surprised at the care that still sounded through her voice. “Not too bad,” he replied. It was true. He was still feeling somewhat sore and was having a minor headache, but apart from that he was feeling quite okay, physically that was. He did not know though, how he would feel if he had not been given the pain meds he had received this morning. “That’s good.” Sara smiled again, still strained though. “How are you?” Sara shrugged. “I’m alright,” she answered, without thinking about it even a moment. Greg hoped she really was. She took his hand in hers and leaned in slowly to kiss him. Greg did not want to, could not understand why she was doing this, but he did not turn away, but let himself fall into her kiss, trying to forget the guilt for a moment. Sara was hugging him, and he felt as if her embrace had never felt as warm before as it was now. “I’m so glad you’re okay,” she whispered. “You mentioned that,” he was almost joking weakly. Sara drew back a bit, but did not let go of him completely but was still holding on his shoulders, frowning slightly. “I could not take losing you as well,” she said quietly, and then it was as if she was regretting what she had just said. Greg had broken eye contact with her the moment she had spoken. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but Sara was the first to speak again. “It’s not your fault, Greg. Not at all,” she told him insistently. “It’s not your fault,” she repeated slowly. Greg closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath, while Sara finally let her arms drop from his shoulders. “It is,” he opposed. He opened his eyes again, but did not directly look at her. “You can examine it from every possible angle, Sara. It is my fault. I didn’t kill Grissom, no, but if I hadn’t been so stupid, he could still be alive.” “It’s not stupid to call for help, Greg,” Sara interjected weakly, after a moment of dead silence. “If I hadn’t foolishly tried to shove that board aside, I wouldn’t have needed help,” Greg stated crestfallenly. “Nobody could help him anymore, Greg,” Sara tried again quietly. "Grissom, he died instantly. It didn’t matter if the officer was there or not.” “Maybe the man would have noticed something before, it could have alerted him,” Greg argued. Sara had folded her arms by now and leaned back in her chair, an angry expression crossing her face, the earlier strained smile was long gone. “Okay,” she said now irritated. “If you insist on it… It’s your fault!” She jumped up from the chair, turning to go. “I hope you’re happy now,” she threw at him, before she rushed out of the room. And Greg was hurting. Hurting out of guilt, because of Sara, and because of her assumption that he could be happy now. He had just wanted that she knew the truth. That she knew exactly how he was to blame. And somewhere deep down he had probably hoped that she would forgive him, after he had confessed everything. ************************************************************ Sara was rushing blindly out of the room and nearly collided with a man who was just walking up towards it. “Hey,” he stopped her, holding her on her arms. Sara looked up to him and Warrick smiled at her. “How are you doing?” he wanted to know. “Not too bad,” she replied, realizing then that she was repeating Greg’s earlier words. “How’s Greg holding up? I was just about to pay him a visit.” Sara looked at the floor. “Not so good,” she said quietly. “What’s wrong with him?” Warrick asked worriedly. “Physically he’s going to be fine…” Sara answered evasively. She rubbed her eyes. “He’s so stubborn,” she said heatedly. “He’s insisting that it’s his fault that Grissom’s dead.” Warrick did not ask after the why, but hugged her firmly, seeing the tears coming up in Sara’s eyes. She was sobbing into him now and Warrick looked around for a place where he could bring her that was a little more private than the hospital floor. Greg’s room definitely was not an option. Warrick took her hand and led her slowly to the waiting room at the other side of the floor. It was not exactly private either but better than the hallway. He made Sara sit down and watched how she was slowly collecting herself, dabbing her face with a handkerchief. When she was breathing more calmly, Warrick dared to speak again. “I’m sure Greg’s going to get better,” he said, convinced of that himself. “Maybe he’s right after all,” Sara whispered and Warrick looked at her questioningly. “Maybe it’s really his fault.” Warrick did not understand why Sara was taken that into consideration now. As far as he could tell, it was not Greg’s fault, no matter how much Greg had maybe tried to convince Sara of the opposite. He did not really understand Greg there either, but could at least imagine that it was a symptom of the shock he was likely in. And a result of the fact that he was alive, while Grissom had died. Warrick could just hope that the same was the case for Sara, that it was just an attempt to deal with all the emotions that had to amount in her and all the confusion of her own feelings and Greg’s self-accusation. “I don’t think it’s Greg’s fault,” he tried to soothe her now, unsure how much success he was even expecting. “You’ll both see that soon,” he said somehow more to himself. Sara was nearly ripping on her handkerchief that she was still holding in her hands. “I can’t lose him, too,” she stated hopelessly. Warrick knew that Greg was not in any fatal danger now. Sara meant another kind of loss. TBC
I'm glad you like it! Chapter 7 - Hopelessly Sara had not come back that day and neither had she the next. Most of Greg’s other friends from the lab had dropped by at the hospital though, but they had seldom experienced Greg as subdued as he was during these visits. It was in the evening of the next day that Catherine came, but not for the first time. It was very obvious that she intended to stay longer, even bringing some food that she apparently considered as healthy choices for Greg. “For a change from the hospital food,” she explained to him, smiling. Greg returned her smile weakly. “I’m going to be released tomorrow morning,” he told her quietly. “I won’t need all this stuff,” he added. Catherine lifted her eyebrows. “I didn’t want to sound ungrateful,” Greg apologized quickly. “I can take it with-“ “Who’s going to get you?” Catherine interrupted him with her question. Greg shrugged. “I could take a taxi…” It was not the answer Catherine was waiting for. “Where will you go?” she added softly, but intentionally raising the question that was mostly on her mind. “Home, I guess.” Catherine nodded quietly. “Are you going to be alright?” she asked then, and Greg knew she was not speaking about his health. “I guess.” “Greg… I heard about you and Sara…” “You did?” He was rubbing his forehead, touched uncomfortably by her statement. It was an issue between him and Sara, something they had to clear between themselves, even though it was quite hopeless in Greg’s mind. “Warrick told me.” Greg nodded slowly. He picked up one of the bananas Catherine had brought with her, starting to peel it. “I hope she didn’t leave our place,” he admitted then quietly, fiddling around quite vainly to get rid of the fibers on the fruit, focusing on this task just to avoid Catherine’s gaze. “I don’t think she went anywhere,” she told him. She had not heard anything about Sara having left Greg’s place. Actually Sara had been burying herself so much in her work in the last two days that Catherine doubted that Sara had had time to find another place to stay. And neither Nick nor Warrick had mentioned anything about Sara staying at their places. “I don’t know what to do,” Greg stated hopelessly. “I can’t blame her if she leaves, but I don’t want her to.” Catherine shook her head. She actually would blame Sara if she just left Greg alone in a situation like this. Greg and Sara had been living together for more than a year. Sara just could not abandon him right when he needed her. And it was clear that Greg needed her. It was Sara who would have to convince him that Grissom’s death was not his fault. Catherine doubted that Greg would accept any attempt of convincement from any other person. “Talk with her. Tell her about what you think and what you feel,” Catherine advised him. She sensed that only this way Sara would see why Greg was claiming so stubbornly that it was his fault. That only this way Sara would find out how she could take away his feeling of guilt; that only this way Greg would see that Sara was not blaming him, and that she did not intend to leave. The last two points Catherine could only hope though. Warrick had told her that Sara was actually considering accepting Greg’s confession. Of course, if Sara forgave Greg, and convinced Greg that she was doing that, they would still be able to move on, to live on together. But Catherine feared that Greg would never be able to let go of the guilt then, something that might even affect his ability to work as a CSI, if he was afraid of making a mistake on a scene. And Catherine did not want that. She was mourning for her friend. And it had been Grissom, next to Sara, who had helped Greg on the way to the position he was now. Catherine did not want that Greg gave up on all of that. “We talked already. And see where it led us to,” Greg said now. Catherine could not believe her ears. She had never seen Greg that hopeless and discouraged. “Talk with her. If you fight again, then fight. Anything’s better than this,” Catherine waved undirected in the air, losing somewhat her patience. “And now eat your banana,” she added with a slightly threatening undertone. ****************************************************************** The next morning Greg was just signing his release forms, when he saw a brunette woman approaching him, but stopping then some distance away from him. His hand trembled slightly when he put his name on the paper in front of him. He was not quite prepared for that, having assumed that either somebody else from the lab would come to get him home or that he would have to take a taxi. At least he had expected that he had still some time to prepare until he would have to face Sara, if she was still at their home at all. Now she was here, however, but maybe just to pick him up and bring him to the place, only to tell him that she had moved out or was just about doing it, or maybe she would even tell him to leave, but Greg could not imagine her being so harsh, since he was just being released from the hospital after all. Greg took a deep breath, trying to calm his rushing thoughts. He smiled at the nurse who was taking the last form he had had to sign, and turned around to Sara then. “Hey,” he greeted her, not really knowing what to say at all. The last thing she had said to him had been angry words, and they had been justified in a way. Much more anger from her would be justified actually; he was at least partly responsible for the death of Sara’s boss, her maybe longest friend, if that was the right word to use for their relationship, and the man she had possibly loved. Nothing Greg could say seemed appropriate. So it was more than a relief when Sara came over to him and took his hand in hers. She was pulling him softly into the direction of the exit, without saying anything and Greg figured it was best to stay silent as well, until she said something. Or was she expecting something from him? He glanced at her and saw that she was frowning slightly and it made him wonder if she was trying to find something to come up with as well. The silence was getting unbearable for Greg, so he was asking a helpless question. “Where have you parked your car?” “Right over there,” Sara pointed a little distance ahead. Greg felt strange that this had been the first exchange between them since two days ago. Sara did not let go of his hand until they reached her car. The drive was silent like most of the walk to the car had been. Greg switched through several radio stations, just to fill the silence, but one was more obnoxious than the other, at least to Greg’s ears right now. Sara unlocked the door to their apartment, but let Greg enter at first. The apartment was tidy, but one thing Greg definitely noticed immediately. “You’re still here,” it was half a statement, half a question and he turned to her, looking at her, the insecurity still shining on his face. “Of course I am,” she responded. “Unless you want me to leave,” she added quietly. Greg stared at her, wondering why she was actually putting this choice in his hands. As if this question needed to be risen at all. Greg hoped that Sara knew that deep inside. And if she did not, he still would have to show her. TBC
Chapter 8: Insecurely Sara had not even gone home. She had left the hospital directly for the lab, her angry exchange with Greg still on her mind. She did not really know if she was feeling angrier, sadder or more scared about everything. What she knew was that she could not deal with everything right now. She had tried, she had tried it for Greg’s sake, but he had been little help, and in fact, had only aggravated the situation. If he was stubbornly claiming that it was his fault, then he could have it that Sara accepted exactly that. But he could not expect her to be there for him then and listen to his self-accusations, could he? Sara sneaked into the lab almost unnoticed, retreating into a quiet room, burying herself in an amount of unlogged evidence. The lack of two CSIs at once had not exactly helped their shift that had been swamped with work anyway. And when, if, Greg returned to work was really standing in the stars right now. Sara sighed, focusing on the paper in front of her again. If it had been possible, she would have liked to lock the door behind her, making sure to work without any disturbance, or any intrusion of a person who only meant well. But as things were, she could not hide completely and had to expect that somebody, most likely Nick or Warrick, would come soon. Or Catherine, trying to send her home again, Sara thought in a new wave of anger. It was a few hours later that she realized that she had apparently been wrong, for nobody had entered the room she had been working in the whole time. Where was everybody? Sara made her way to the break room, expecting to find some of her co-workers there, but the room was empty. She set up some coffee, if only to have not gone to the break room in vain. She did not really need the caffeine, she was still way too edgy to feel even close to tired. While the coffee was brewing, she figured that all three CSIs that were left on her shift were probably out on scenes. It was actually logical. Nobody had apparently wanted or dared to call her for field work, but as she had seen at the amount of work herself, crime had not stopped only because they were two CSIs down. They would need a replacement either from another shift or from another lab soon, especially if Greg did not return to work. Sara did not want to think about that possibility. She could not imagine working in the lab with both Grissom and Greg gone. Sara had not seen much of her co-workers in the following hours either. Then she had avoided them, and they knew obviously well enough to leave her alone. She had stayed at the lab for most of the day, only dropping by for a couple of hours at home to catch some sleep and fresh clothes. During their next shift Nick had finally approached her. “Greg isn’t doing so well,” he said and Sara guessed that he had visited Greg at the hospital. She noticed that Nick had not even asked after her well-being, probably not expecting an enlightening answer anyway. “Mentally,” Nick added now, when Sara did not react on his statement. “I know.” Sara sighed, and she knew as well that Nick was telling her that because he thought that she could do something about it, had to do something about it. “You know that he’s going to be released tomorrow morning, don’t you?” Nick looked at her questioningly. “Of course I do.” Actually Sara had not known that. She could not believe that she had cared so little to not inquire after that. “I’m going to get him home.” At least she knew it now and could prepare herself for it. And could show Greg that she still cared for him. “Good,” Nick nodded. “If you two need anything…” “We’ll be fine.” Sara smiled weakly for the first time. She had been there early to make sure Greg did not have to wait. She watched him signing some forms before she approached him. He looked better than the last time she had seen him. He greeted her, glancing at her insecurely. She took his hand and pulled him gently to the exit. There was no need to stay at the hospital longer than necessary. It was not the right place to talk, as their last angry encounter had only shown even more so. Greg did not say anything and it worried her at least a bit. Was he angry at her? Or was he just unsure what to say, afraid she would blow up at him again? Knowing Greg, the second possibility was far more likely. “Where have you parked your car?” he asked finally and Sara was glad that the silence was broken, even if only with a trivial question. “Right over there,” she said. Their next exchange did not come before they were at home. Right after he had entered their apartment, Greg had turned to her. “You’re still here.” It had almost been a question. “Of course I am. Unless you want me to leave.” She did not really now why she had added that. She did not really think it possible that Greg did not want her there. There had been no indication that he was feeling this way. Sara dropped down onto the edge of the couch, looking at the floor, pondering sadly how she could save any of their relationship. She did not feel like there was anything she could do. There was no point in saying that she was sorry; she was not even sure if she was. She was of course sorry for the outlook of them breaking apart, sorry for how everything was going, but was she sorry for anything she had done? There was not a point in telling Greg that it was not his fault either. She had done so again and again, and he had not listened, had not believed it. And she did not know what else she could do, not even knowing if she wanted to do more about it. Maybe she could just accept that he blamed himself, maybe he was to blame after all. That did not mean that she wanted to lose him though. She looked up, seeing that he had sat down in the armchair opposite of her. “That wasn’t a broad hint telling me to pack my stuff, was it?” he questioned now, apparently trying to at least pretend to make it sound less serious than it actually was. Sara shook her head quietly. “I don’t know in which of my words you interpreted that,” she almost laughed. Greg shrugged. “Just making sure.” Sara smiled briefly. “What about getting some lunch?” she suggested. “Shouldn’t you get some sleep? You were up all night, I guess,” Greg said, but stood up. “It’s alright.” Greg had never answered her question, but Sara guessed that she could safely assume that he wanted her to stay. Maybe things were not going that bad after all. There were still many unresolved issues between them, Greg’s fault or not-fault at the happenings at the scene being only the most tormenting one that would even be a re-opened wound when the lab would report on the incident, but Sara was glad that Greg was there, that they could look back on a stable relationship that had been holding for more than a year now, and that hopefully would hold out these times as well. Sara did not really want to think about any alternative. TBC
A/N: Yeah, you wouldn’t have expected this anymore, huh? Well, it’s been a while, but I thought that it would be a nice idea to finish this story. Chapter 9: Slowly Greg turned the key around in the lock and opened the door, stepping back to let Sara enter first. She walked slowly into their apartment and Greg followed her, after he had closed the door behind himself quietly. Sara had gone into the living room, facing the window there, but Greg doubted she was actually looking outside. The sun was shining brightly into the room, and once Sara turned around, Greg was hardly able to see her face for he was blinded by the light. It had been a friendly day, weather-wise, the actual occasion being much sadder. During Grissom’s funeral Greg had suspected that Sara tried to force herself to remain calm, to not cry, and he had been worried about it, for he doubted it to be a good idea for her to shut in her grief. But short before the end of the ceremony Sara had not been able to hold herself together anymore and had finally cried openly. Most of the ceremony had gone by in a fog for Greg, he caring mostly for Sara, at the same time trying to say goodbye to Grissom himself. Now he was approaching her, taking her into his arms. Sara seemed surprisingly relaxed in his embrace, and Greg smiled sadly, nestling his head onto her shoulder. Sara drew back after some moments. “What about me getting us some food? Are you up for Chinese?” she asked, and again she appeared rather calm and relaxed. Greg hoped it was not just show. He nodded. “Sure.” She smiled faintly, stepping to the phone and dialing a familiar number. A few minutes later the order was taken, and Sara turned back to Greg. “You’re coming back to work tomorrow?” she asked then. As far as she had heard from Catherine, Greg had announced that, more or less that was. “IAB’s finishing their report and everything…” Greg replied slowly. “So you’ll come back tomorrow?” she insisted. Greg avoided her gaze. “You don’t think they’ll blame you in any way?” She stepped towards him. “Greg, we’ve been through this…” Sara reached out, grabbing his arm. “Come back to work…” She caught his gaze now. “I miss working with you.” She pulled him towards her, kissing him lightly. Greg smiled faintly. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ She could hear the sounds coming from the different labs, but the hallway was deserted safe for her. The door of the office in front of Sara was open, the room itself empty. Catherine was not here. Sara knew exactly where she was, but did not really want to think about it right now. She walked carefully into the room, leaving the door only a crack open. Nobody had cleared the room yet, put things away. Catherine had not changed anything either. Sara could see that she had cleared some space on the desk in order to be able to do the paperwork she had to do, but Grissom’s stuff was still there. So were the rest of his things in the room, his books and his strange collection. Sara looked around in the room sadly. She jerked around when she suddenly noticed that another person had entered the room, and her eyes fell on Catherine who was standing in the door. “I can go…” the blonde woman started. Sara shook her head slightly. “It’s okay.” After all, this was Catherine’s office now. It was her who could kick Sara out actually. Noticing the file in Catherine’s hand now, she asked, “Is this…?” Catherine nodded. “Yeah, the report from IAB. I still have to sign it.” She sighed, walking around the desk and laying the file on it, grabbing a pen. Sara who was standing a few feet away, looked into the direction of the paper, but was not able to read anything which would probably have been rather futile anyway, since the file was apparently dozens of pages thick. Catherine put her name on one of the papers, closing the folder then and turning around to Sara. She caught the sight of the brunette, obviously figuring what Sara had been looking at. “If you want to read it, go ahead, but it’s not really advisable. I mean, I don’t know if you really want to read the excerpts from the coroner’s report and everything…” Catherine shrugged, watching Sara closely. “No,” Sara shook her head. “I just wanted to know…” She paused. “… Greg?” Catherine fixed her with her gaze. “Sara, I thought we’d cleared that. It wasn’t Greg’s fault. And this report,” she picked up the folder again, “doesn’t say so either.” Sara breathed out slowly, a weight falling from her. Catherine was still watching her. “You’re not blaming him, are you?” she asked, some sharpness in her voice. “No, of course I’m not,” Sara replied quickly. Catherine nodded, smiling weakly. “I think Warrick could need a hand with his case,” she told Sara now. “He’s in the AV lab.” Sara nodded, leaving Grissom’s former office slowly. “If you see Greg anywhere, take him to help you,” Catherine called after her. Sara turned briefly back to her boss, giving her a weak smile and a nod. Sara made her way to the AV lab, but glanced into every room she was coming by to see if Greg was in there. She finally found him in the smallest layout room. His back was to the door; he was leaning over the table, going over blood-stained clothes, cutting off samples. He had apparently not heard her coming. Sara hesitated for a moment before she knocked lightly at the open door. “Hey,” she added quietly after a second. Greg turned around to her, motioning to the clothes that were spread on the table. “I’m helping out Warrick on his case,” he explained. Sara nodded, smiling at him faintly. “I was just searching for you to ask you to do that.” Greg nodded as well, turning back to his work, and Sara stepped towards the table, stopping next to Greg. She looked at the fabric in front of them. “You’ve heard about the report?” she asked quietly. Greg gave a short nod, continuing to cut the cloth he was holding. “Nick told me,” he answered. “And Catherine did as well.” Sara nodded, watching Greg working for a minute. “I’m going to help Warrick, too.” “Yeah.” Greg did not look at her, like she would have wanted. She hesitated to leave. “Are you alright?” She looked at him from the side. “How am I supposed to be?” he returned, not pausing in his work. Sara put a hand on his arm which finally made him to. “Do you think I’m feeling great?” she asked him openly. Greg turned around to her at last. “It wasn’t your fault,” he stated, sorrow in his voice. Sara looked at him sadly. “It wasn’t yours either,” she reminded him. “Do I have to hit you over the head with that damn report?” Her voice had become agitated and Greg could see a shimmer of tears in her eyes. “No,” Greg answered slowly, laying an arm around her back and rubbing it lightly. “Good for you. It looked heavy,” Sara said jokingly, but crying by now. Greg wanted to stop the tears but knew that he would not be able to, that his only option was to be there and wait, trying to keep calm himself, knowing that it would not help if he fell to pieces again as well. “Greg…” Sara sobbed, looking at him, her eyes reflecting anger and sadness. Greg could not really be sure that she was not blaming him deep inside and had just told him the opposite because she thought she had to do it. He would not be able to do anything, if she told him now that she felt that way, told him to go. He took her into his arms anxiously, holding onto what were maybe the last few seconds he would be holding her. She was crying more quietly now, repeating his name after a minute. “Greg…” she said quietly, “… just hold me.” The End
Wow that was a great ending. Such a good fic, so sad in parts but very well written I love the "just hold me" at the end So sweet.