~Quotes You WON'T Hear # 3~
- Thread starter Need4Speed
- Start date
delkosgirl88
Hit and Run
that would be too funny. i would probably die laughing if that were ever actually shown on Miami or any other CSI
Carolyn_333
Pathologist
I call this set of quotes "Stetler's Offense". I couldn't come up with 20 questions or I'd call this set of quotes "20 Questions".
#1...Stetler: Horatio, If I told you I broke your sunglasses and those you are wearing are a cheap knock-off copy of them, would you be mad at me?
Horatio: YES..
#2...Stetler: Frank, do you use Depends?
Frank: NO!
#3...Stetler: Dr. Price, have you ever slept with an IA office.
Dr. Price: *SLAP*
Stetler: Guess not.
#4...Stetler: Ryan, do you have the correct time?
Ryan: *looks up at the name on this post then down at the signature* Oh no. It's her. Carolyn3843. She may be going by ChristmasCarol_12.22 till after Christmas but it's her. Stetler, ask her for the time. I'm outta here.
#5...Stetler: Alexx, who would you rather make out with on the autopsy table, me or Horatio?
Alexx: *SLAP, backhanded SLAP*
Stetler: Never mind
*Mac Taylor and Lindsay Monroe are in Miami working on a case that started in New York.*
#6...Stetler: Eric, are you the real father of CSI: NY's Lindsay Monroe's baby?
Eric: *PUNCH in the nose, SLAP, backhanded SLAP*
Lindsay: *PUNCH in the nose, kick in the shins, SLAP, backhanded SLAP, Judo flip right on to the floor*
Stetler(on the floor): Sorry I asked.
*Stetler gets up.*
#7...Stetler: Speedle's ghost, show yourself. I have a question for you.
Speedle's ghost: Here I am. What's the stupid question.
Stetler: Have you ever made out with Marisol's ghost?
*Speedle's ghost takes in a deep breathe then exhales blowing Stetler across the room into a wall. Marisol's ghost then appears and starts making anything not bolted down fly at or fall on Stetler.*
Stetler: Sorry!!! I'm sorry!!! Please stop.
*the 2 ghosts disappear and everything gets quiet* * Stetler lets out a BIG sigh of relief.*
#8...Stetler: Calleigh, has anyone ever called you a "dumb blonde"?
Calleigh: NO. And you better not be or what Eric, Lindsay Monroe, Speedle's ghost and Marisol's ghost did to you will be nothing compared to what I'll do.
Stetler: I'm not calling you a "dumb blonde". I'm just asking has anyone else.
Calleigh: NO.
#9...Stetler: Natalia, would pose naked in Playboy magazine?
Natalia: NO. *SLAP*
#10...Stetler: Valera, would you come to work tomorrow in the smallest, skimpiest bikini you can fit in?
Valer: *SLAP* *backhanded SLAP* NO!
#11...Stetler: Mac Taylor, is it true you and Horatio found a place where Gay marriage is legal, so the 2 of you secretly went there and secretly got married?
Mac: *SLAP* NO!!! *backhanded SLAP*
....
Stetler has now insulted, offended or angered just about everyone.
#12...Stetler: ~Carolyn3843, Carolyn318, CreepyCarolyn_333, ChristmasCarol_12.22~, whatever name you like best. Do really hate me this much?
Me: Yes. No. I used to, but not anymore. However, this is ~Quotes You WON'T Hear~. So what do you expect?
Stetler: Good point. I'm outta here. *Stetler takes off running.*
Me: Oh no you're not. *I take off after Stetler along with Horatio and everyone else in the lab that Stetler insulted, offended or angered.*
~Carolyn318 was my original Talk CSI member name, Carolyn3843 is my current Talk CSI member name, CreepyCarolyn_333 was my Halloween name till just after Halloween here at Talk CSI, ChristmasCarol_12.22 is my Christmas name till after Christmas here at Talk CSI.
#1...Stetler: Horatio, If I told you I broke your sunglasses and those you are wearing are a cheap knock-off copy of them, would you be mad at me?
Horatio: YES..
#2...Stetler: Frank, do you use Depends?
Frank: NO!
#3...Stetler: Dr. Price, have you ever slept with an IA office.
Dr. Price: *SLAP*
Stetler: Guess not.
#4...Stetler: Ryan, do you have the correct time?
Ryan: *looks up at the name on this post then down at the signature* Oh no. It's her. Carolyn3843. She may be going by ChristmasCarol_12.22 till after Christmas but it's her. Stetler, ask her for the time. I'm outta here.
#5...Stetler: Alexx, who would you rather make out with on the autopsy table, me or Horatio?
Alexx: *SLAP, backhanded SLAP*
Stetler: Never mind
*Mac Taylor and Lindsay Monroe are in Miami working on a case that started in New York.*
#6...Stetler: Eric, are you the real father of CSI: NY's Lindsay Monroe's baby?
Eric: *PUNCH in the nose, SLAP, backhanded SLAP*
Lindsay: *PUNCH in the nose, kick in the shins, SLAP, backhanded SLAP, Judo flip right on to the floor*
Stetler(on the floor): Sorry I asked.
*Stetler gets up.*
#7...Stetler: Speedle's ghost, show yourself. I have a question for you.
Speedle's ghost: Here I am. What's the stupid question.
Stetler: Have you ever made out with Marisol's ghost?
*Speedle's ghost takes in a deep breathe then exhales blowing Stetler across the room into a wall. Marisol's ghost then appears and starts making anything not bolted down fly at or fall on Stetler.*
Stetler: Sorry!!! I'm sorry!!! Please stop.
*the 2 ghosts disappear and everything gets quiet* * Stetler lets out a BIG sigh of relief.*
#8...Stetler: Calleigh, has anyone ever called you a "dumb blonde"?
Calleigh: NO. And you better not be or what Eric, Lindsay Monroe, Speedle's ghost and Marisol's ghost did to you will be nothing compared to what I'll do.
Stetler: I'm not calling you a "dumb blonde". I'm just asking has anyone else.
Calleigh: NO.
#9...Stetler: Natalia, would pose naked in Playboy magazine?
Natalia: NO. *SLAP*
#10...Stetler: Valera, would you come to work tomorrow in the smallest, skimpiest bikini you can fit in?
Valer: *SLAP* *backhanded SLAP* NO!
#11...Stetler: Mac Taylor, is it true you and Horatio found a place where Gay marriage is legal, so the 2 of you secretly went there and secretly got married?
Mac: *SLAP* NO!!! *backhanded SLAP*
....
Stetler has now insulted, offended or angered just about everyone.
#12...Stetler: ~Carolyn3843, Carolyn318, CreepyCarolyn_333, ChristmasCarol_12.22~, whatever name you like best. Do really hate me this much?
Me: Yes. No. I used to, but not anymore. However, this is ~Quotes You WON'T Hear~. So what do you expect?
Stetler: Good point. I'm outta here. *Stetler takes off running.*
Me: Oh no you're not. *I take off after Stetler along with Horatio and everyone else in the lab that Stetler insulted, offended or angered.*
~Carolyn318 was my original Talk CSI member name, Carolyn3843 is my current Talk CSI member name, CreepyCarolyn_333 was my Halloween name till just after Halloween here at Talk CSI, ChristmasCarol_12.22 is my Christmas name till after Christmas here at Talk CSI.
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C.H.E.A.R.
Pathologist
Wow, okay then. Let me create another funny one now!
Man: Hold on! Hold the elevator please!
Eric: Shit, him again! Close it, close it!
(Ryan and Eric, press the close botton frantically)(it closes)
Ryan:Fffew!
Cal:That's not nice, guys.
Ryan: I've been running from him all day!
Eric: Me too, he's as annoying as hell, Cal.
Ryan: Haha, we'll never see him again
(BOOM)(the elevator stopped)
Cal: Looks like we REALLY won't see him again. Now we're stuck!
Eric: Damn, I was just heading home!
Ryan: I heading to H.
Cal: I was heading to the bathroom, now this happens.
Ryan: I'll call H. and tell him we're stuck (on the phone) Hey H., we're stuck, okay, bye.
Eric: What did he say?
Ryan: He said 'where?'
Cal: SO why didn't you tell him?
Ryan: ops
Eric: So call him back!
Ryan::angryrazz: Make me.
Cal: I'll do it then (picks up phone and Ryan grabs it)
Ryan: Haha, I got your phone.
Eric: :censored: Ryan stop playing, I wanna get out!
Ryan: Okay...(on phone) It died.
(Eric grumbles and shoves him)SMASH!
Cal: Now look what you did! You broke my phone!
Ryan: It's not my fault Eric pushed me!
Cal: It wouldn't have fallen if you weren't playing around for him to push you. UGH!:scream: I need to use the bathroom! (sinks to the floor)
Ryan: Just hold it, Calleigh.
(Eric ran to the other corner and took out his phone)
Eric: Yeah, H. We're stuck in the elevator, please get us out. Cal wants to use the bathroom. (hangs out)
Cal: You didn't have to tell him!
Eric: You seemed urgent, so I...
Cal: Shut up!
Eric: Okay, I'm sorry.
Ryan: Someone's cranky when they want to use the bathroom. (he sang)
Eric/Cal: Shut up!
Man: Hold on! Hold the elevator please!
Eric: Shit, him again! Close it, close it!
(Ryan and Eric, press the close botton frantically)(it closes)
Ryan:Fffew!
Cal:That's not nice, guys.
Ryan: I've been running from him all day!
Eric: Me too, he's as annoying as hell, Cal.
Ryan: Haha, we'll never see him again
(BOOM)(the elevator stopped)
Cal: Looks like we REALLY won't see him again. Now we're stuck!
Eric: Damn, I was just heading home!
Ryan: I heading to H.
Cal: I was heading to the bathroom, now this happens.
Ryan: I'll call H. and tell him we're stuck (on the phone) Hey H., we're stuck, okay, bye.
Eric: What did he say?
Ryan: He said 'where?'
Cal: SO why didn't you tell him?
Ryan: ops
Eric: So call him back!
Ryan::angryrazz: Make me.
Cal: I'll do it then (picks up phone and Ryan grabs it)
Ryan: Haha, I got your phone.
Eric: :censored: Ryan stop playing, I wanna get out!
Ryan: Okay...(on phone) It died.
(Eric grumbles and shoves him)SMASH!
Cal: Now look what you did! You broke my phone!
Ryan: It's not my fault Eric pushed me!
Cal: It wouldn't have fallen if you weren't playing around for him to push you. UGH!:scream: I need to use the bathroom! (sinks to the floor)
Ryan: Just hold it, Calleigh.
(Eric ran to the other corner and took out his phone)
Eric: Yeah, H. We're stuck in the elevator, please get us out. Cal wants to use the bathroom. (hangs out)
Cal: You didn't have to tell him!
Eric: You seemed urgent, so I...
Cal: Shut up!
Eric: Okay, I'm sorry.
Ryan: Someone's cranky when they want to use the bathroom. (he sang)
Eric/Cal: Shut up!
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Ryan: Horatio, you forgot your sunglasses.
Horatio: No, I didn't. I'm not in the mood to wear them today.
Horatio: No, I didn't. I'm not in the mood to wear them today.
C.H.E.A.R.
Pathologist
HAHA ops! I was just following someone when I posted my first long one. Okay I'll small them up a bit.
Carolyn_333
Pathologist
This is as short as I can do.
Horatio: Did you see that?
Ryan: What?
Horatio: Did you see that?
Ryan: See what?
Horatio: Mr. Wolfe, did you see that?
Ryan: Did I see what, Horatio?
Horatio: Never mind.
For those of you who might wonder what Horatio saw that Ryan didn't. Speedle's ghost was mooning Horatio. Yes, that's right. Speedle's ghost turned his back on Horatio, dropped his pants, bent over and gave Horatio a full view of his behind.
Horatio: Did you see that?
Ryan: What?
Horatio: Did you see that?
Ryan: See what?
Horatio: Mr. Wolfe, did you see that?
Ryan: Did I see what, Horatio?
Horatio: Never mind.
For those of you who might wonder what Horatio saw that Ryan didn't. Speedle's ghost was mooning Horatio. Yes, that's right. Speedle's ghost turned his back on Horatio, dropped his pants, bent over and gave Horatio a full view of his behind.
C.H.E.A.R.
Pathologist
I think it would fit it more if Eric asked Ryan if he saw it. He's the hallucinating, but that good though.
Carolyn_333
Pathologist
DEAD THREAD ALERT!!! You know what that means, don't you? Yes. It means I'm gonna try to revive this thread.
The title of the "Have You Ever...?" thread gave me the ideal for this.
Jesse: Have you ever...
Ryan: No. I never.
Jesse: Well, you should.
Ryan: I beg your pardon.
Jesse: If you will let me finish. I was gonna ask: have you ever...(notices Walter on the other side of the glass wall pointing and snickering)...have you ever wondered what Walter is pointing and snickering about?
Ryan: No. But I'm beginning to. What is he pointing and snickering about?
Carolyn333: That's for my next post.
Jesse: Carolyn333?
Ryan: Yep.
Jesse: Ah. To be continued, folks.
Carolyn333: Hey! That's my line!
Jesse: Sorry.
Carolyn333: mmm. Okay. You're too tall, dark and handsome to stay mad at. So, I forgive you...this time. But don't let it happen again.
Jesse: It won't. I promise.
Ryan(in sing song voice): Carolyn333's got a crush on you.
Jesse: Oh...shut up. Making me blush.
TO BE CONTINUED...
The title of the "Have You Ever...?" thread gave me the ideal for this.
Jesse: Have you ever...
Ryan: No. I never.
Jesse: Well, you should.
Ryan: I beg your pardon.
Jesse: If you will let me finish. I was gonna ask: have you ever...(notices Walter on the other side of the glass wall pointing and snickering)...have you ever wondered what Walter is pointing and snickering about?
Ryan: No. But I'm beginning to. What is he pointing and snickering about?
Carolyn333: That's for my next post.
Jesse: Carolyn333?
Ryan: Yep.
Jesse: Ah. To be continued, folks.
Carolyn333: Hey! That's my line!
Jesse: Sorry.
Carolyn333: mmm. Okay. You're too tall, dark and handsome to stay mad at. So, I forgive you...this time. But don't let it happen again.
Jesse: It won't. I promise.
Ryan(in sing song voice): Carolyn333's got a crush on you.
Jesse: Oh...shut up. Making me blush.
TO BE CONTINUED...
MacsGirlMel
Mac's Personal Assistant
Horatio: *pouts* It's NOT FAIR! Taylor gets to get married and be happy, why couldn't I? The writers didn't *have* to kill her!