Dutchie
Coroner
Okay, this is for the Togo thread mostly, and I strongly recommend NOT to read this if you like Natalia. I repeat DO NOT READ IF YOU REALLY LIKE NATALIA AND CAN'T STAND HER BEING...MADE FUN OF.
Also Horatio looks like an idiot, 'cause I liked that. And it's a challenge so...it's weird. Here it goes:
Disclaimer: Making Natalia the mole is something I could’ve done, but I didn’t. So no, not mine.
Summary: Horatio and Eric have gone after Marisol’s killer. Ryan and Calleigh are enjoying a well-deserved vacation. And Natalia…Well Natalia has other things to do.
Somewhere in South America…
“Faster Eric, we’re losing them!” “I’m doing my best, but driving a Hummer through the jungle isn’t exactly easy. If I go any faster, we’ll crash into something.” Eric said. “Then let’s crash into something.” “Look H, I want to catch those bastards too, but if we kill ourselves, that is gonna be difficult.” “Good point Eric. Very…” [sunglasses on] “…good point.”
Meanwhile, on Miami Beach…
“Ahh…perfect.” Ryan said, leaning back. “Could you pass me the sun lotion please?” “Here you are. Nice bikini by the way.” “Thanks. Not looking bad yourself. Could you do my back…?” “Sure.” “Your drinks.” A voice said. “Excuse me, I didn’t quite get that.” Ryan said. “Here are your drinks?” “Better. Not good enough though.” “Just take the drinks will ya?” “Down girl, you are in no position to demand.” Calleigh said. “But…” “No but. Natalia, you screwed up, your fault.” “I didn’t…” “You: Mole. Mole: Bad. Bad: Not good. Not good: Needs to be punished. And that’s what we’re doing right now.” Calleigh said. “What she said.” Ryan agreed. “I’d like some more ice in this.”
South America again…
“There they are!” “Run! Don’t lose them!” “What’s that?” “That, H, is a .22 caliber sniper rifle with a target lock and a range of about nine…” “Don’t play smartass on me, I knew that. DUCK!” [dramatic duck to ground where surprisingly enough no-one gets hit] “You okay H?” “Fine, you?” “Not a scratch.” “Good. Grab a hold on your gun. On my count, one, two, three, go!” [they jump up and start shooting] “Ha, I took out five!” Eric said. “Twenty-six, twenty-seven…” Horatio counted. “Damnit. He always has to win.” “That’s life…” [sunglasses on] “…if you work with Horatio Caine.” “I thought you already had your sunnies on?” “Hey! I’m the one with the last word. Me…” [sunglasses on] “…Horatio Caine.” “You Jane…” Eric murmured.
Okay…Back to Miami…
“Nat, can you move the umbrella a bit to the left?” Calleigh asked. “Yeah, sure.” “No, the other left. No, that’s too far. Bit back…bit more…Not that far!” “Oh come on!” “Just a little further…perfect. Don’t you think Ryan?” “Definitely.” “Can I sit down now?” “You’re standing in my sun.” [Natalia steps aside] “Yep, thanks.” “Can I...?” “Yeah, yeah, alright.” “Hallelujah.” “After you get us another drink.” “Calleigh, you’re being mean. Why can’t I do that?” Ryan asked. “You’re a way too nice guy. Well why are you still here Natalia?”
Let’s see how our action guys are doing…
“Yes, another one down!” “Leave a few for me Eric.” “Aw, but I’m having fun!” “I’m the boss, and I said: leave a few.” “Yes Horatio.” “Good boy. Oh jippie, that one’s mine!” [bang] “Wow, good shot.” “Ah well…you try that one.” “Alright…” “Eric, watch out!” “Ah…” [Eric gets shot, grabs his chest and makes weird face] “Eric, no!” Horatio called. [Eric smiles and unbuttons shirt to reveal a bulletproof vest] “You nasty…” “H, look! It’s Riaz!” “He is going down!” “How would Ryan and Calleigh be doing??” Eric wondered.
Yeah, how would they be doing…?
“You think Eric and Horatio caught that Riaz guy yet?” “Probably not. Who cares, more free time for us.” “Guys…don’t you think I’ve been punished enough?” Natalia asked. “Let us think…Nope, not yet.” “Oh please! I didn’t even tell the feds anything bad! You should punish Cooper, he told something bad! He went out for drinks with the feds, I mean…” “Hmm…I think she actually said something that made sense.” Ryan said. “No?” “Yes. Let’s get Cooper here.” “Oh Cooper? Dan?” Calleigh called. “Yes?” “Would you do us a favor?” “What?” “I’d like a pillow.” “No way…” “Go! Or I’ll shove you up against the wall again. And this time, Calleigh will not be there to save your ass.” Ryan said. “Yes boss.” “Oeh, I like that.” “Me too. Cheers Cal.” “Cheers Ryan.”
Looks like they’re doing fine…but the others…
“We’ve got him! Let’s burn his body! No, let’s cut him into little pieces.” “No Eric, we are letting him decompose here.” “Sounds good. Let’s go back home.” “Back home.” “Horatio…?” “Yes Eric?” “Where are we anyway?” “Somewhere…in south America.”[camera pulls back and raises higher and higher, until we realize they’re standing in the middle of the bush bush]
[We hear Eric’s voice] “But then how do we get home?” [Camera zooms in on Horatio quickly.]
Sunglasses…on. Hands…on hips. Stare…to the horizon.
“That…[dramatic pause] “…remains to be seen.”
Also Horatio looks like an idiot, 'cause I liked that. And it's a challenge so...it's weird. Here it goes:
Disclaimer: Making Natalia the mole is something I could’ve done, but I didn’t. So no, not mine.
Summary: Horatio and Eric have gone after Marisol’s killer. Ryan and Calleigh are enjoying a well-deserved vacation. And Natalia…Well Natalia has other things to do.
Somewhere in South America…
“Faster Eric, we’re losing them!” “I’m doing my best, but driving a Hummer through the jungle isn’t exactly easy. If I go any faster, we’ll crash into something.” Eric said. “Then let’s crash into something.” “Look H, I want to catch those bastards too, but if we kill ourselves, that is gonna be difficult.” “Good point Eric. Very…” [sunglasses on] “…good point.”
Meanwhile, on Miami Beach…
“Ahh…perfect.” Ryan said, leaning back. “Could you pass me the sun lotion please?” “Here you are. Nice bikini by the way.” “Thanks. Not looking bad yourself. Could you do my back…?” “Sure.” “Your drinks.” A voice said. “Excuse me, I didn’t quite get that.” Ryan said. “Here are your drinks?” “Better. Not good enough though.” “Just take the drinks will ya?” “Down girl, you are in no position to demand.” Calleigh said. “But…” “No but. Natalia, you screwed up, your fault.” “I didn’t…” “You: Mole. Mole: Bad. Bad: Not good. Not good: Needs to be punished. And that’s what we’re doing right now.” Calleigh said. “What she said.” Ryan agreed. “I’d like some more ice in this.”
South America again…
“There they are!” “Run! Don’t lose them!” “What’s that?” “That, H, is a .22 caliber sniper rifle with a target lock and a range of about nine…” “Don’t play smartass on me, I knew that. DUCK!” [dramatic duck to ground where surprisingly enough no-one gets hit] “You okay H?” “Fine, you?” “Not a scratch.” “Good. Grab a hold on your gun. On my count, one, two, three, go!” [they jump up and start shooting] “Ha, I took out five!” Eric said. “Twenty-six, twenty-seven…” Horatio counted. “Damnit. He always has to win.” “That’s life…” [sunglasses on] “…if you work with Horatio Caine.” “I thought you already had your sunnies on?” “Hey! I’m the one with the last word. Me…” [sunglasses on] “…Horatio Caine.” “You Jane…” Eric murmured.
Okay…Back to Miami…
“Nat, can you move the umbrella a bit to the left?” Calleigh asked. “Yeah, sure.” “No, the other left. No, that’s too far. Bit back…bit more…Not that far!” “Oh come on!” “Just a little further…perfect. Don’t you think Ryan?” “Definitely.” “Can I sit down now?” “You’re standing in my sun.” [Natalia steps aside] “Yep, thanks.” “Can I...?” “Yeah, yeah, alright.” “Hallelujah.” “After you get us another drink.” “Calleigh, you’re being mean. Why can’t I do that?” Ryan asked. “You’re a way too nice guy. Well why are you still here Natalia?”
Let’s see how our action guys are doing…
“Yes, another one down!” “Leave a few for me Eric.” “Aw, but I’m having fun!” “I’m the boss, and I said: leave a few.” “Yes Horatio.” “Good boy. Oh jippie, that one’s mine!” [bang] “Wow, good shot.” “Ah well…you try that one.” “Alright…” “Eric, watch out!” “Ah…” [Eric gets shot, grabs his chest and makes weird face] “Eric, no!” Horatio called. [Eric smiles and unbuttons shirt to reveal a bulletproof vest] “You nasty…” “H, look! It’s Riaz!” “He is going down!” “How would Ryan and Calleigh be doing??” Eric wondered.
Yeah, how would they be doing…?
“You think Eric and Horatio caught that Riaz guy yet?” “Probably not. Who cares, more free time for us.” “Guys…don’t you think I’ve been punished enough?” Natalia asked. “Let us think…Nope, not yet.” “Oh please! I didn’t even tell the feds anything bad! You should punish Cooper, he told something bad! He went out for drinks with the feds, I mean…” “Hmm…I think she actually said something that made sense.” Ryan said. “No?” “Yes. Let’s get Cooper here.” “Oh Cooper? Dan?” Calleigh called. “Yes?” “Would you do us a favor?” “What?” “I’d like a pillow.” “No way…” “Go! Or I’ll shove you up against the wall again. And this time, Calleigh will not be there to save your ass.” Ryan said. “Yes boss.” “Oeh, I like that.” “Me too. Cheers Cal.” “Cheers Ryan.”
Looks like they’re doing fine…but the others…
“We’ve got him! Let’s burn his body! No, let’s cut him into little pieces.” “No Eric, we are letting him decompose here.” “Sounds good. Let’s go back home.” “Back home.” “Horatio…?” “Yes Eric?” “Where are we anyway?” “Somewhere…in south America.”[camera pulls back and raises higher and higher, until we realize they’re standing in the middle of the bush bush]
[We hear Eric’s voice] “But then how do we get home?” [Camera zooms in on Horatio quickly.]
Sunglasses…on. Hands…on hips. Stare…to the horizon.
“That…[dramatic pause] “…remains to be seen.”
