Quick reason for what went wrong on Saying GoodBye

C

CaptonMatthew

Dead on Arrival
After spending several hours and trying to fix up Saying Goodbye I realized that, 1. the story line was not all that great to start out with. 2. Spelling mistakes were made that should have never been made in the first place.
The best I can do right now is go back and try and rewrite the hole story over again and hope that I can get it right the second time around. So with in the next couple of weeks or months the new Saying Goodbye will be posted on odie productions on blog spot.

But I will post it on here first thanks for all the great tips.
 
I personally think the storyline was just fine, but it was the structure/grammar that may have thrown some people off--like was mentioned in your original thread. I don't think you need to re-write the entire story. I believe, rather, that you could develop on the same storyline. It's often hard to tell what makes a good story in the first couple of chapters. You never know, the entire thing could turn out to be a diamond in the rough! :)

I recommend reading through this thread entitled 'Elements of Style: Grammar Errata and Other Resources '. It's definitely helped me and many other members here with their stories, whether they were new writers or seasoned. This and the advice given in your story thread could really help a lot with the technicalities of your work.
 
I've read through your story and I find that whatever direction you were taking the story could have been good with the beginning. Like you said, the grammar and spelling was what really needed focus. Another thing I might add is description. It might be just me, but the way you wrote the story was brief and it wasn't very detailed. I couldn't get attached to the characters because of the lack of description. It also started very suddenly to me... *shrugs*

Otherwise, the basic outline that I was getting from it was excellent! I do hope you continue it. I also reccomend the thread Geni posted up top - I've used it for my stories and it works wonders. :)

Another little tip - try not to create different posts for the same story. Kinda cluttery, IMO. :)

Sissi
 
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