Okay, BIG question! Need help

E

ericisacutie

Lab Technician
Okay, so I just found my first really, really big crush. He's like three and a half years older than me but I really really like him. I see him at Taekwondo and we smile at at each other a lot and he gives me a hard time. HE comes out of his way to talk to me but I never know if that's just becuase he's being nice. I know there's like a 99 to 1 percent chance that a relationship could ever come out of this, but is it really bad that I like this guy when he's that much older then me? Or is it okay. What should I do, I've tried telling myself to get him out of my mind, but I can't. :borg:

And I can't like anyone my own age because they are all WAY and I mean WAAAYY too in mature. Any advice it would be appreciated. and also if you could tell me a way to sort of losen up around him, not feel so shy and embaressed :( I would greatly appreciate it. THanks!

LRC
 
My opinion is go for something. Try to become more friendly with him and if it seems like you two get along as friends ok. I say be assertive and go for him, you only live once. Who knows could work out could fail only one way to find out.

Remember what Mark Twain said 'I do not regret what I have done but which I have not done' if it works great if not so what you took a shot and what can you do?
 
Calihan said:
My opinion is go for something. Try to become more friendly with him and if it seems like you two get along as friends ok. I say be assertive and go for him, you only live once. Who knows could work out could fail only one way to find out.

Remember what Mark Twain said 'I do not regret what I have done but which I have not done' if it works great if not so what you took a shot and what can you do?
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True good advice there, just stay as friends and see what else happens. Maybe meet up for coffee or whatever lol- and see if you two can hang out at the movies or something like that. If its meant to be sweetie it will be.:vulcan:
 
YEa, that's good advicd guys, thanks. But just I'm afraid if I ever did tell him I liked him it might weird out our friendship, then I really wouldn't feel comfortable around him.
 
He's only 3 and abit years older than you; it's not big of an age gap. Some of my friends have dater girls nearly 8 years younger than them.

As a guy, I'd say just go with the flow. Talk to him, get to know him and let him get to know you. Things happen in its own time, just don't force it. That never works.
 
ericisacutie said:
I know there's like a 99 to 1 percent chance that a relationship could ever come out of this, but is it really bad that I like this guy when he's that much older then me? Or is it okay. What should I do, I've tried telling myself to get him out of my mind, but I can't. :borg:
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My husband is 5 years older than I am. We started dating when I was 16, and let's just say that my parents, and his parents, were not impressed at the time. However, that was 12 years ago and now you wouldn't even know there was an age difference. :)

Don't feel bad for liking him, but in my opinion it might be risky to tell him about it, because you might scare him off. But then, I've been with the same guy for 12 years, so I'm not really up on dating protocol and how to approach men. :lol: ;)
 
with age differences i think it all depends on the people involved, and what your ages actually are. even though it might be a few years, you could be at very different places in your life and want different things. an older guy (by 9 years) was interested in one of my friends, but he turned out to be a creep and only wanted youger girls so he could control them.

that being said, it can absolutely work. i am the worst person at letting guys know im interested in them, so ive got no advice for you there. but maybe take it slow and see how he feels, that way you can maintain a friendship if the other part doesnt work out and not feel weird about it.
 
Age shouldn't matter after you have both turned 18 in my opinion. Just as long as you two are on the same page! I have a friend who's 8,5 years older than me and I think he's going to be more than a friend! At the beginning that I just knew him there was a boundery in between because of the age but as we came friends and got to know each other that boundary dissapeared...

3,5 years is peanuts! Just make friend with him, get to know him and see what comes from that!

For wearing out a friendship... yeah that is always a possibilty. Just decide for yourself if he is worth the risk to become more than to loose him..!?
 
The age different shouldn't make a difference, 2 of my friends are both with older guys one is 10year difference and the other is just over that... and they are both happy.

If you think its something worth persuing maybe its worth the risk. I dated a guy 2/3years older and at the start i wasn't sure we were both quite different but in the end bar the fact we split up 9 months later it was a great risk.... you always think what if, if you don't try it.
 
Elsie said:
ericisacutie said:
I know there's like a 99 to 1 percent chance that a relationship could ever come out of this, but is it really bad that I like this guy when he's that much older then me? Or is it okay. What should I do, I've tried telling myself to get him out of my mind, but I can't. :borg:
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My husband is 5 years older than I am. We started dating when I was 16, and let's just say that my parents, and his parents, were not impressed at the time. However, that was 12 years ago and now you wouldn't even know there was an age difference. :)

Don't feel bad for liking him, but in my opinion it might be risky to tell him about it, because you might scare him off. But then, I've been with the same guy for 12 years, so I'm not really up on dating protocol and how to approach men. :lol: ;)
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Okay, so I guess I made a typo, I'm 15 and he's 19....... that makes it really bad doesn't it? But I guess since you were 16 and he was five years older it's about the same right??
 
ericisacutie said:
Okay, so I guess I made a typo, I'm 15 and he's 19....... that makes it really bad doesn't it? But I guess since you were 16 and he was five years older it's about the same right??
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Learning those your and his ages makes things a bit more difficult in my opinion for you.

I'm 17 and a guy and here's what I can tell you from personal experience.

If you want to date him, guys like closer to their age or slightly older women.
Also it depends on the type of age difference which can make it sort of weird as well. You can have a difference in age but it depends what the ages are of people. For example I'm 17 and when my sister is home I will occassionally hang out with her and her friends who are in their low twenties but I wouldn't hang with a 13 year old. It's a four year difference in either direction but 13 to 17 has more differences that 17 to 21. Good luck, if you want to talking with me about it PM me.
 
ericisacutie here's my humble piece of advice for you. I am almost 20 years old, and kind of the pessimistic type, and from what I understand you're 15 and the guy is 19. I think you should follow what your heart tells you. But, given the fact that there is the age difference, I have learned from personal experience that 19 year old boys (not all of them, but a very important majority) have strong...instincts if you catch my drift. If you think at any given moment that the guy wants something that you are not able to offer him just don't force yourself into doing it just for his sake. If he can't understand you, then he's not worth it. I am not saying that your relationship is bound to fail, I'm just saying that you are young and you should put yourself first. Follow your heart, but don't forget the brain. I hope the guy is the right one for you.
Best wishes, Emma
 
Um, usually I'm a optimistic sort of person, and always look for the happy ending etc. But as much as one can say to follow your heart, and I'll say follow the heart, please realize this! He's 19, you're 15. Of age, and not of age. I know it hasn't stopped many people before from this situation, but there is always that selected few out there that look at the consequences of this sort of situation. There are implications when getting involved with a minor, and they may not want to get tangled up with that. Friends are one thing!

Just a personal observation and opinion though...one of many. Good luck either way though!
 
So, I don't think that age is an issue, if you're ready to deal with the fact that a 19 year old may want things that you're not ready for. I'm 17, I dated a guy that had just turned 20 and was going to college. It's not as big a gap, but there is the pressure.
I agree that you should at least try and see what happens, because you never know if something beautiful will come of it. It could be love, or it could just be a crush, either way you should see what happens. Start casual, like coffee and hanging out, and don't be afraid to tell him how you feel.
 
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