New CSI Story CSI:Team Trauma Part 1

S

Speedle03

Dead on Arrival
The scene opens up on the las vegas strip showing casinos people gambling away their life's savings. It switches over to a hotel room at the beautiful Luxor Hotel. There is a man lying on a bed flipping through channels getting bored with the same old shows Seinfeld,That Seventies Show that kind of stuff he gets bored of channel surfing and goes to a bar to get a drink. The man becomes drunk and has to be walked up to his room by two employees. He decides to go to bed.

The next morining CSI Supervisor Gil Grissom and CSI Level 3 Nick Stokes are called to the luxor the drunken man who had been channel surfing the night prior now lays lifeless on his bed with a fork in his throat. Captain Jim Brass is questioning the hotel maid who found him like this. "Maid says that she came to clean his room at about 10:30 this morning as usual and his door happened to be wide open so she walked in and found the man stabbed with a fork." Grissom looks over to a table near the door and sees a plate of unfinished steak with a knife and no fork. "stabbed with his own fork,that's cold. The scene goes black the CSI Intro begins to play.
I hope you guys liked part one of CSI: Team Trauma.I will post the next part in a couple of days so hang in there its comming soon. All i can tell you is that the team suffers through a terrible loss hence the name Team Trauma. There will be 4 parts to this story maybe 5 so just be patient they are comming.
Title: Team Truama
Author: Speedle03
Rating:pG-13 Violence,Alcohol-Drug refrences
 
i can answer that question no it is not warrick this story has nothing to do with the past couple of seasons sara is in it and so is warrick we'll say this story takes place around the second or third
 
Is that the teaser?

Interesting. You might want to space description and dialogue separately so they stand out more...

Speedle03 said:
The scene opens up on the las vegas strip showing casinos people gambling away their life's savings. It switches over to a hotel room at the beautiful Luxor Hotel. There is a man lying on a bed flipping through channels getting bored with the same old shows Seinfeld,That Seventies Show that kind of stuff he gets bored of channel surfing and goes to a bar to get a drink. The man becomes drunk and has to be walked up to his room by two employees. He decides to go to bed.

The next morining CSI Supervisor Gil Grissom and CSI Level 3 Nick Stokes are called to the luxor the drunken man who had been channel surfing the night prior now lays lifeless on his bed with a fork in his throat. Captain Jim Brass is questioning the hotel maid who found him like this.

"Maid says that she came to clean his room at about 10:30 this morning as usual and his door happened to be wide open so she walked in and found the man stabbed with a fork."

Grissom looks over to a table near the door and sees a plate of unfinished steak with a knife and no fork. "stabbed with his own fork,that's cold."

The scene goes black the CSI Intro begins to play.

I hope you guys liked part one of CSI: Team Trauma.I will post the next part in a couple of days so hang in there its comming soon. All i can tell you is that the team suffers through a terrible loss hence the name Team Trauma. There will be 4 parts to this story maybe 5 so just be patient they are comming.

Title: Team Truama

Author: Speedle03

Rating:pG-13 Violence,Alcohol-Drug refrences
Click to expand...

Also, you might want to include more description, about the location, clothes and thoughts of the characters, just like they do in the books. It might make the story flow better.

Looking forward to more.
 
No problem, as a university graduate in English I am always around to help. I just have one more question.

Are you planning to write the whole story in third person present tense? It is usually difficult to write and can make it hard for readers, which is why most stories are written in the first or third person immediate past or first person present tense.

If that doesn't make sense to you, don't worry, it didn't to me at your age either :)
 
it will be some third person but it will aslo have some of the characters points of views in ther rest of the story
 
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