dstined4gr8ness
Police Officer
This was my first CSI:NY fanfic ever. I posted it at ff.net and at dlchem.net, but thought I'd share the DL Love 
It starts a little angsty but I promise it's worth it!!! Enjoy!
Spoilers: Nope
Rating: PG13 just to be safe.
Hear Your Voice
5:45 PM
The first thing Lindsay Munroe noticed when she walked into her apartment was the smell of slightly charred Italian food. It brought a slight smile to her face, but made her heart heavy at the same time. He knew Italian was her favorite; this was his sweet attempt to please her and let her know he cared. After all, she had been beyond foul to him all week and he had been nothing but understanding and patient. With a sigh she leaned against the door and let the heaviness of the last few days wash over her. Carrying this burden alone was proving to be more difficult by the hour. More than anything she wanted to talk about it; to let someone share the weight. Unfortunately the only person in this whole city who understood and know all the deep dark secrets she kept hidden from the world wanted nothing to do with her. And it was all her fault. Her eyes closed as she remembered his last words to her- the frustration and hurt naked in his eyes.
It had been a long day- ok a long couple of months and he was done. With the coldness, the bitterness and most of all the hurt. He couldn’t stand to see her hurt and she wouldn’t let him help.
“You know Lindsay, I just don’t get it. I can’t seem to win with you. I have done everything in my power to support and protect you. I try to be there for you but lately it feels like the harder I try to get close the harder you push me away. So I try to give you space, to let you deal on your own so you can push through. Then you look at me all hurt and puppy eyed and tell me you feel like I’ve given up and abandoned you. Seriously? You’re up, you’re down, you’re like a frigging one woman circus. I can’t keep up. I don’t know what to do about it any more. I don’t know if I can do this anymore, Linds. You have your demons- I get that. But at some point you ARE going to hafta let someone in our you’ll implode. I am more than willing to be that person. So when you’re ready? You let me know.” With that he kissed her on the forehead and walked out.
Lindsay had just stood there, willing herself to say something, anything. To call after him- follow him and tell him that he couldn’t leave her. That she needed him now more than ever, but her body wouldn’t obey and the words just wouldn’t come. Silence.
Tears rolled down her cheeks as she remembered the look on his face before he walked away. It physically hurt to remember his words. They were never the same after that. He wouldn’t stay in the same room with her and she couldn’t meet his eyes. Eventually he started dating again. First Maka, some girls she didn’t know, and finally Jen Angel. So, when someone had asked her out she had half-heartedly said yes. Now, here she was sleeping with a sweet, caring, funny, street smart guy, and all the while she was aching for his best friend. Well his former best friend. There was now obvious tension between them.
Snapping out of her reverie Lindsay dried her eyes and pasted what she hoped was a perky smile on her face as she walked to the kitchen.
“Hey,” she said, perhaps a bit too cheerfully.
“Hey” came the reply “You’re home early! The manicotti is only partially scorched, and I didn’t even get to set the smoke alarms off yet.” He said with mock hurt.
Smiling, Flack leaned to kiss her but at the last second Lindsay turned her head and he got her cheek. A look of confusion and a little hurt crossed his features before he put on a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes and he asked her “Is everything ok?”
“Yeah, it’s nothing. Just a really long day. Mac sent me home early, nothing to do but wait around for results. I think I’m just gonna take a bath and relax before dinner.” She offered him a small smile as in lieu of an apology before walking down the hallway toward her bedroom.
“Okay, well I’ll just call and order from Bellini’s then, huh? Lasagna ok?” he asked watching her closely.
“Perfect. Just make sure you don’t burn down the joint, eh?” She retorted over her shoulder with a pointed look at Flack.
“Ha ha Munroe. Bob Hope is laughing in heaven.”
“HUH! Bob Hope made it into heaven?” she couldn’t help herself. He made it too easy
“Yeah ,yeah, keep walking smart aleck. Flack turned to look for the takeout menu meanwhile mumbling Everyone’s a comedian. It was one time. And just because the fire department came doesn’t mean they were needed.”
Lindsay walked into the bathroom via the bedroom and turned the water on as hot as she thought she could stand it, poured some salts into the water, and back to the room to get a change of clothes and wait for her Jacuzzi garden tub to fill up. She pulled her cell out of her purse, all the while waging and internal war. There was no guarantee that he would even answer, let alone talk to her. With a long suffering sigh, she pressed No. 1 on her speed dial and waited.
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6:15 PM
Danny was just starting his shift when his phone started to ring. When he saw the caller ID he sighed. “Montana” it said. For a moment he let a war rage with in him. She hadn’t so much as texted him in over 6 months. He was contemplating answering it when Detective Jen Angel came around the corner.
“Hey, Messer.” Nothing “Hello? Yo, earth to Danny!” The sheer volume of her voice snapped him out of the daze he was in, staring at his phone.
“Huh? What? Oh. Hey.”
“Be still my heart. I’m all aflutter- He notices me.” The sarcasm was beyond evident in her voice. “Who is on the phone that has you so stumped Messer, Jimmy Hoffa calling from the great beyond?“ She snatched his phone out of his hand and looked at the ID
“Montana, huh? Were you going to answer? “she looked at him, eyebrows raised expectantly. “You were, weren’t you? Danny. We talked about this. We agreed it’s easier if you make a clean break. It hurts less.”
“NO.” Danny said “You ranted and I ignored you. I never agreed that that was best.”
“I’m just trying to look out for you Danny, I lov-”
“NO” he interrupted her “Don’t even think about it Jen. You don’t love me anymore than I love you. An you’re not looking out for me, you’re looking out for yourself. It hurts YOU less if I make a clean break. You’re scared that if I talk to her, I’ll drop you like a bad habit.”
Ironically that was the very thing that scared him. She was right. He was still in love with Lindsay and as much as he hated to admit it he would go back to her in a heartbeat if she asked him. His relationship with Jen was nothing more than a rebound and they both knew it. She’d had the hots for him since becoming a homicide detective, and at the first sign of availability she had pounced. He didn’t care enough to end it, because hey, at least she kept the other side of the bed warm sometimes.
Danny was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t see the look of vulnerability and hurt that crossed her face before she said “DB. Central Park West and 15th Street. You have three minutes to get to the truck or you’re walking.” then walked away.
With one last look at his phone he shoved it in his pocket, ignoring the beep that told him he had a voicemail, and started toward the elevator. Fabulous way to start a shift. He punched the down button and as he waited he remembered the conversation that had caused him to change shifts.
“I mean, seriously Danny. What’s the big deal?”
“The big deal is changing teams- I LIKE working with Mac and Stella. I LIKE working with Hawkes. I even LIKE working with Flack and Monta- Lindsay. We are a team. We work well together. We push each other.”
“Do you like pain Danny? Cause you’re just torturing yourself. Watching her. Watching them together. Seeing her, being with her everyday. It’s pathetic. You’ll never move on that way. Besides, I work the night shift, so you won’t b completely alone.”
They had gone back and forth for about 10 minutes when he finally acquiesced. He really didn’t want people to think he was this mopey, dopey, puppy dog He was done hanging around just waiting for her to notice him again. It was one of his biggest regrets- that night- and now she was with Flack. which technically hurt more than it should have because he was with Jen? He stepped into the elevator, punched the Lobby button and rested his hands on the rail and his forehead on the wall. It was going to be a long, long, night.
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9:00 PM
Flack and Lindsay lay on the couch, his arms wrapped around her. They were watching Rent- her choice- but he could tell she was a million miles away. She was always a bit distant with him, but lately she had been so closed off he couldn’t help but worry and it hurt more than a little that she didn’t trust him.
“ You wanna talk about it?” he murmured in her ear.
He felt her shoulders tense briefly, but she turned to him , weariness and wariness evident in her eyes. “There’s nothing to talk about Don. Just a long day. Difficult case, and a victim that reminded me of someone I knew.”
Flack searched her face and eyes. There always seemed to be a wall between them- like she was shielding herself from him. Keeping him out. Playing second fiddle wasn’t his usual style, but regardless of everything he loved Lindsay. He just wished she would let him in.
“Okay. Well then I’m just gonna head home.” He started to get up, but she stopped him with a hand on his arm.
“Please Don. Don’t go. I don’t want to be alone. Not tonight. Please. Please don’t leave me. Stay. Just stay please.” Her voice faded to a whisper and the tears that had been lingering behind her eyes all night were now spilling over as she implored him not to abandon her.
Flack pulled her into his arms with an inward groan as he kissed the top of her head. He ran his hands up and down her arms and whispered to her “Ok. Shh It’s ok Linds. I’ll stay. I’ll stay.”
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4:00 AM
She couldn’t sleep. Every time she closed her eyes it all came rushing back. The images, the sounds, the smells; it consumed her until she couldn’t breathe. Slowly she eased out of the bed, carefully extracting
Herself from under Don’s arm. He was such a light sleeper.
“Linds?” he mumbled “Y’alrite?”
“Shh” She whispered “go back to sleep. I’m just gonna get some tea.”
“K” he grunted and turned over. A faint smile graced her lips- he was adorable when he was sleepy. His accent was so thick she could hardly understand it. She padded barefoot to the kitchen and put some water on to boil for her tea. She had left a message for Danny when she’d called earlier and hadn’t heard back . Truth be told she really wasn’t expecting to. He owed her absolutely nothing; especially after the way she had treated him. Even so…she glanced at the clock. She flipped open her phone and pressed the speed dial again. She hoped that this time he would pick up.
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Danny dragged himself out of the elevator and walked to his apartment. Jen must have gotten in already because he heard the Ocean Wave CD she played when she was sleeping coming from the guest room as soon as he walked in the door. He couldn’t wait until the inspector declared her apartment livable again. A small fire in the laundry room of her building had left her temporarily homeless, and in a moment of weakness that he would always regret he had offered her the use of his guest room.
Rubbing the bridge of his nose under his glasses he made his way to the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea. Lindsay had hooked him on Peppermint tea to wind down after a shift. Of course he usually put a little whiskey in his to liven things up, but nevertheless it reminded him of her. He had just put the water in his Hotshot to heat up when his phone rang. He answered quickly without looking at the ID because he didn’t want to risk waking Jen. She was crabby when woken.
“Messer.”
Silence.
When not a sound was made he glanced at his phone to make sure the connection hadn’t been lost and saw who it was.
“Montana? You there?”
Nothing.
“Linds? “
“Danny.” came the soft reply.
“You need something?“ he barked, instantly regretting his tone when he heard her sniffle on the other end. Shit. Not he’d made her cry.
“Shh. Ok. C’mon baby. Please don’t cry. I’m sorry. Talk to me Linds. What’s going on?”
For a moment she didn’t say anything and then it all just came pouring out.
“I don’t know Danny. Everything’s just all upside down and backwards. It’s all so messed up. You, me, Flack- everything. I don’t know if I can handle all this right now.” There was a pause before she whispered “I’m leaving the day after tomorrow.”
“LEAVING!!??!?!” he cringed. That had been a little yelpier than he’d intended.
Lindsay gave a watery chuckle.
“Not permanently leaving, Dan. I’m going back to Montana….“her voice faded.
“The trial.” He said, understanding finally dawning on his features. “How long will you be gone?”
“At this point I don’t really know. Three maybe four weeks.”
“Flack know?” It hurt to have to ask, but…
“No. I haven’t told him. He knows I’m going, but he doesn’t know why. Please don’t tell him Danny. It would only hurt him to know that I kept it from him.”
You think you talkin to me about it instead hurts him any less? He knows somethins up, Montana. He asked me if I knew what was goin on with you, but I wasn’t sure if that was what it was.” He stopped when he heard her gasp a little.
“You didn’t….?”
“No, I didn’t. But you should. If you want this to work you have to let him in. You’ll need him.”
“I need you.” She whispered so softly that he almost missed it. “I need you, Danny. I should have told you that months ago, but the words just wouldn’t come out. I know it hurt you. I know I did, but please. Danny, just-”
“Montana-“ he cut interrupted softly. “Whaddya mean you need me? You don’t- You can’t. He huffed out a sigh of frustration. How you gonna spring this on me at 4 am with my whatever in the next room and you’re boyfriend I’m assuming in the next room?”
“I’m sorry Danny. I don’t mean to stir up drama. I never meant to. I just- I guess I never really moved on completely. I tried to- Lord knows I tried. And I know that what went down between us is on me.
I was a roller coaster, it was my fault. I pushed you out, and putting this on you is totally unfair, but I don’t have anyone else. “Her voice broke a little. I miss you Danny. I miss you so much it hurts sometimes.
“Mmmhmm” he murmured “Miss me, huh?”
“Yes. I know- too little too late, right? Nevertheless it’s true. You have every right to hate me- I get that and I would never deny you that after how I treated you- but Danny? Please. Please don’t hate me forever.“ Her voice dropped to a barely audible whisper. “I don’t think I could live with the knowledge that you’ll always hate me . I don’t think I can do this without you.”
For a while the silence swelled between them as each considered the past and the future repercussions. Finally Danny said softly, “I’ll always have your back, Linds. That never changed. Matter what. Hey, and for the record? I miss you too.”
With that he hung up. It seemed he sat and stared at his closed phone for and eternity before dragging himself to his room an collapsing onto the bed fully clothed.
8 blocks away Lindsay dropped her head onto her arms and sobbed quietly. When did her life become such a painful, dramatic soap opera? She wiped at her tears, grabbed her I pod out of her gym bag and headed to the bathroom for her second bath of the night. As she sank into the bubbles, a single tear made its way down her cheek when she turned the radio on her I pod on and the first song began to play. She almost laughed at the irony
“Honey why you calling me, so late…..”
It starts a little angsty but I promise it's worth it!!! Enjoy!
Spoilers: Nope
Rating: PG13 just to be safe.
Hear Your Voice
5:45 PM
The first thing Lindsay Munroe noticed when she walked into her apartment was the smell of slightly charred Italian food. It brought a slight smile to her face, but made her heart heavy at the same time. He knew Italian was her favorite; this was his sweet attempt to please her and let her know he cared. After all, she had been beyond foul to him all week and he had been nothing but understanding and patient. With a sigh she leaned against the door and let the heaviness of the last few days wash over her. Carrying this burden alone was proving to be more difficult by the hour. More than anything she wanted to talk about it; to let someone share the weight. Unfortunately the only person in this whole city who understood and know all the deep dark secrets she kept hidden from the world wanted nothing to do with her. And it was all her fault. Her eyes closed as she remembered his last words to her- the frustration and hurt naked in his eyes.
It had been a long day- ok a long couple of months and he was done. With the coldness, the bitterness and most of all the hurt. He couldn’t stand to see her hurt and she wouldn’t let him help.
“You know Lindsay, I just don’t get it. I can’t seem to win with you. I have done everything in my power to support and protect you. I try to be there for you but lately it feels like the harder I try to get close the harder you push me away. So I try to give you space, to let you deal on your own so you can push through. Then you look at me all hurt and puppy eyed and tell me you feel like I’ve given up and abandoned you. Seriously? You’re up, you’re down, you’re like a frigging one woman circus. I can’t keep up. I don’t know what to do about it any more. I don’t know if I can do this anymore, Linds. You have your demons- I get that. But at some point you ARE going to hafta let someone in our you’ll implode. I am more than willing to be that person. So when you’re ready? You let me know.” With that he kissed her on the forehead and walked out.
Lindsay had just stood there, willing herself to say something, anything. To call after him- follow him and tell him that he couldn’t leave her. That she needed him now more than ever, but her body wouldn’t obey and the words just wouldn’t come. Silence.
Tears rolled down her cheeks as she remembered the look on his face before he walked away. It physically hurt to remember his words. They were never the same after that. He wouldn’t stay in the same room with her and she couldn’t meet his eyes. Eventually he started dating again. First Maka, some girls she didn’t know, and finally Jen Angel. So, when someone had asked her out she had half-heartedly said yes. Now, here she was sleeping with a sweet, caring, funny, street smart guy, and all the while she was aching for his best friend. Well his former best friend. There was now obvious tension between them.
Snapping out of her reverie Lindsay dried her eyes and pasted what she hoped was a perky smile on her face as she walked to the kitchen.
“Hey,” she said, perhaps a bit too cheerfully.
“Hey” came the reply “You’re home early! The manicotti is only partially scorched, and I didn’t even get to set the smoke alarms off yet.” He said with mock hurt.
Smiling, Flack leaned to kiss her but at the last second Lindsay turned her head and he got her cheek. A look of confusion and a little hurt crossed his features before he put on a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes and he asked her “Is everything ok?”
“Yeah, it’s nothing. Just a really long day. Mac sent me home early, nothing to do but wait around for results. I think I’m just gonna take a bath and relax before dinner.” She offered him a small smile as in lieu of an apology before walking down the hallway toward her bedroom.
“Okay, well I’ll just call and order from Bellini’s then, huh? Lasagna ok?” he asked watching her closely.
“Perfect. Just make sure you don’t burn down the joint, eh?” She retorted over her shoulder with a pointed look at Flack.
“Ha ha Munroe. Bob Hope is laughing in heaven.”
“HUH! Bob Hope made it into heaven?” she couldn’t help herself. He made it too easy
“Yeah ,yeah, keep walking smart aleck. Flack turned to look for the takeout menu meanwhile mumbling Everyone’s a comedian. It was one time. And just because the fire department came doesn’t mean they were needed.”
Lindsay walked into the bathroom via the bedroom and turned the water on as hot as she thought she could stand it, poured some salts into the water, and back to the room to get a change of clothes and wait for her Jacuzzi garden tub to fill up. She pulled her cell out of her purse, all the while waging and internal war. There was no guarantee that he would even answer, let alone talk to her. With a long suffering sigh, she pressed No. 1 on her speed dial and waited.
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6:15 PM
Danny was just starting his shift when his phone started to ring. When he saw the caller ID he sighed. “Montana” it said. For a moment he let a war rage with in him. She hadn’t so much as texted him in over 6 months. He was contemplating answering it when Detective Jen Angel came around the corner.
“Hey, Messer.” Nothing “Hello? Yo, earth to Danny!” The sheer volume of her voice snapped him out of the daze he was in, staring at his phone.
“Huh? What? Oh. Hey.”
“Be still my heart. I’m all aflutter- He notices me.” The sarcasm was beyond evident in her voice. “Who is on the phone that has you so stumped Messer, Jimmy Hoffa calling from the great beyond?“ She snatched his phone out of his hand and looked at the ID
“Montana, huh? Were you going to answer? “she looked at him, eyebrows raised expectantly. “You were, weren’t you? Danny. We talked about this. We agreed it’s easier if you make a clean break. It hurts less.”
“NO.” Danny said “You ranted and I ignored you. I never agreed that that was best.”
“I’m just trying to look out for you Danny, I lov-”
“NO” he interrupted her “Don’t even think about it Jen. You don’t love me anymore than I love you. An you’re not looking out for me, you’re looking out for yourself. It hurts YOU less if I make a clean break. You’re scared that if I talk to her, I’ll drop you like a bad habit.”
Ironically that was the very thing that scared him. She was right. He was still in love with Lindsay and as much as he hated to admit it he would go back to her in a heartbeat if she asked him. His relationship with Jen was nothing more than a rebound and they both knew it. She’d had the hots for him since becoming a homicide detective, and at the first sign of availability she had pounced. He didn’t care enough to end it, because hey, at least she kept the other side of the bed warm sometimes.
Danny was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t see the look of vulnerability and hurt that crossed her face before she said “DB. Central Park West and 15th Street. You have three minutes to get to the truck or you’re walking.” then walked away.
With one last look at his phone he shoved it in his pocket, ignoring the beep that told him he had a voicemail, and started toward the elevator. Fabulous way to start a shift. He punched the down button and as he waited he remembered the conversation that had caused him to change shifts.
“I mean, seriously Danny. What’s the big deal?”
“The big deal is changing teams- I LIKE working with Mac and Stella. I LIKE working with Hawkes. I even LIKE working with Flack and Monta- Lindsay. We are a team. We work well together. We push each other.”
“Do you like pain Danny? Cause you’re just torturing yourself. Watching her. Watching them together. Seeing her, being with her everyday. It’s pathetic. You’ll never move on that way. Besides, I work the night shift, so you won’t b completely alone.”
They had gone back and forth for about 10 minutes when he finally acquiesced. He really didn’t want people to think he was this mopey, dopey, puppy dog He was done hanging around just waiting for her to notice him again. It was one of his biggest regrets- that night- and now she was with Flack. which technically hurt more than it should have because he was with Jen? He stepped into the elevator, punched the Lobby button and rested his hands on the rail and his forehead on the wall. It was going to be a long, long, night.
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9:00 PM
Flack and Lindsay lay on the couch, his arms wrapped around her. They were watching Rent- her choice- but he could tell she was a million miles away. She was always a bit distant with him, but lately she had been so closed off he couldn’t help but worry and it hurt more than a little that she didn’t trust him.
“ You wanna talk about it?” he murmured in her ear.
He felt her shoulders tense briefly, but she turned to him , weariness and wariness evident in her eyes. “There’s nothing to talk about Don. Just a long day. Difficult case, and a victim that reminded me of someone I knew.”
Flack searched her face and eyes. There always seemed to be a wall between them- like she was shielding herself from him. Keeping him out. Playing second fiddle wasn’t his usual style, but regardless of everything he loved Lindsay. He just wished she would let him in.
“Okay. Well then I’m just gonna head home.” He started to get up, but she stopped him with a hand on his arm.
“Please Don. Don’t go. I don’t want to be alone. Not tonight. Please. Please don’t leave me. Stay. Just stay please.” Her voice faded to a whisper and the tears that had been lingering behind her eyes all night were now spilling over as she implored him not to abandon her.
Flack pulled her into his arms with an inward groan as he kissed the top of her head. He ran his hands up and down her arms and whispered to her “Ok. Shh It’s ok Linds. I’ll stay. I’ll stay.”
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4:00 AM
She couldn’t sleep. Every time she closed her eyes it all came rushing back. The images, the sounds, the smells; it consumed her until she couldn’t breathe. Slowly she eased out of the bed, carefully extracting
Herself from under Don’s arm. He was such a light sleeper.
“Linds?” he mumbled “Y’alrite?”
“Shh” She whispered “go back to sleep. I’m just gonna get some tea.”
“K” he grunted and turned over. A faint smile graced her lips- he was adorable when he was sleepy. His accent was so thick she could hardly understand it. She padded barefoot to the kitchen and put some water on to boil for her tea. She had left a message for Danny when she’d called earlier and hadn’t heard back . Truth be told she really wasn’t expecting to. He owed her absolutely nothing; especially after the way she had treated him. Even so…she glanced at the clock. She flipped open her phone and pressed the speed dial again. She hoped that this time he would pick up.
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Danny dragged himself out of the elevator and walked to his apartment. Jen must have gotten in already because he heard the Ocean Wave CD she played when she was sleeping coming from the guest room as soon as he walked in the door. He couldn’t wait until the inspector declared her apartment livable again. A small fire in the laundry room of her building had left her temporarily homeless, and in a moment of weakness that he would always regret he had offered her the use of his guest room.
Rubbing the bridge of his nose under his glasses he made his way to the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea. Lindsay had hooked him on Peppermint tea to wind down after a shift. Of course he usually put a little whiskey in his to liven things up, but nevertheless it reminded him of her. He had just put the water in his Hotshot to heat up when his phone rang. He answered quickly without looking at the ID because he didn’t want to risk waking Jen. She was crabby when woken.
“Messer.”
Silence.
When not a sound was made he glanced at his phone to make sure the connection hadn’t been lost and saw who it was.
“Montana? You there?”
Nothing.
“Linds? “
“Danny.” came the soft reply.
“You need something?“ he barked, instantly regretting his tone when he heard her sniffle on the other end. Shit. Not he’d made her cry.
“Shh. Ok. C’mon baby. Please don’t cry. I’m sorry. Talk to me Linds. What’s going on?”
For a moment she didn’t say anything and then it all just came pouring out.
“I don’t know Danny. Everything’s just all upside down and backwards. It’s all so messed up. You, me, Flack- everything. I don’t know if I can handle all this right now.” There was a pause before she whispered “I’m leaving the day after tomorrow.”
“LEAVING!!??!?!” he cringed. That had been a little yelpier than he’d intended.
Lindsay gave a watery chuckle.
“Not permanently leaving, Dan. I’m going back to Montana….“her voice faded.
“The trial.” He said, understanding finally dawning on his features. “How long will you be gone?”
“At this point I don’t really know. Three maybe four weeks.”
“Flack know?” It hurt to have to ask, but…
“No. I haven’t told him. He knows I’m going, but he doesn’t know why. Please don’t tell him Danny. It would only hurt him to know that I kept it from him.”
You think you talkin to me about it instead hurts him any less? He knows somethins up, Montana. He asked me if I knew what was goin on with you, but I wasn’t sure if that was what it was.” He stopped when he heard her gasp a little.
“You didn’t….?”
“No, I didn’t. But you should. If you want this to work you have to let him in. You’ll need him.”
“I need you.” She whispered so softly that he almost missed it. “I need you, Danny. I should have told you that months ago, but the words just wouldn’t come out. I know it hurt you. I know I did, but please. Danny, just-”
“Montana-“ he cut interrupted softly. “Whaddya mean you need me? You don’t- You can’t. He huffed out a sigh of frustration. How you gonna spring this on me at 4 am with my whatever in the next room and you’re boyfriend I’m assuming in the next room?”
“I’m sorry Danny. I don’t mean to stir up drama. I never meant to. I just- I guess I never really moved on completely. I tried to- Lord knows I tried. And I know that what went down between us is on me.
I was a roller coaster, it was my fault. I pushed you out, and putting this on you is totally unfair, but I don’t have anyone else. “Her voice broke a little. I miss you Danny. I miss you so much it hurts sometimes.
“Mmmhmm” he murmured “Miss me, huh?”
“Yes. I know- too little too late, right? Nevertheless it’s true. You have every right to hate me- I get that and I would never deny you that after how I treated you- but Danny? Please. Please don’t hate me forever.“ Her voice dropped to a barely audible whisper. “I don’t think I could live with the knowledge that you’ll always hate me . I don’t think I can do this without you.”
For a while the silence swelled between them as each considered the past and the future repercussions. Finally Danny said softly, “I’ll always have your back, Linds. That never changed. Matter what. Hey, and for the record? I miss you too.”
With that he hung up. It seemed he sat and stared at his closed phone for and eternity before dragging himself to his room an collapsing onto the bed fully clothed.
8 blocks away Lindsay dropped her head onto her arms and sobbed quietly. When did her life become such a painful, dramatic soap opera? She wiped at her tears, grabbed her I pod out of her gym bag and headed to the bathroom for her second bath of the night. As she sank into the bubbles, a single tear made its way down her cheek when she turned the radio on her I pod on and the first song began to play. She almost laughed at the irony
“Honey why you calling me, so late…..”
