Hate Crimes

P

pizzapie

Pathologist
Disclaimers: I don’t own CSI: NY.
Rating: PG
Pairing: Nothing in particular, it may not belong here, but ff.net isn’t cooperating right now.

Chapter 1
“Nice way to start the day, huh?” Stella asked me. I had just arrived at the crime scene in the garden of Tel Aviv Synagogue.

“Another day, another murder, I guess,” I replied. We ducked under the crime scene tape and walked over to Flack. “Who discovered the body?”

Flack pointed to a man talking with a uniform right outside the crime tape. “The gardener. He said he had come to water the garden, and was beginning to walk to the spout when he discovered the body. Walked right in to call 911. He says he’s never seen him before.”

I opened the briefcase by the vic. “Here’s a prayer shawl. Nothing else though. That’s odd. Why carry a briefcase if you don’t put anything in it?”

I looked over at Stella who was searching the vic. She continued my thoughts, “Possible robbery. No wallet on him. There’s bruising around the neck. He was probably strangled but we’ll confirm it with Sid. TOD’s at least twelve hours ago.” Stella took the hat off the vic. He had a covering over his head, and Stella asked, “What’s this?”

I recongnized it immediately and answered, “It’s a yarmulke. The vic’s Jewish,” she said somewhat surprised.

Flack asked Stella, “Any signs of blunt force trauma?”

“Not that I can see.”

The vic was Jewish. I said, “The body was dumped here.”

Flack asked, “How do you know?”

I replied, “I don’t know, I just do.”

“Think it’s a statement?” Flack asked.

“Possibly.” Definitely. A Jewish man gets dumped right by a synagogue. Has to be.

Stella motioned for the techs from the MEs office to take the body. “We’ll let Sid process the rest of the body. There’s some footprints leading to and from the body. Let’s set up a grid and process the scene. Maybe when we get back to the lab, Sid will have finished the autopsy.”

We set up a grid; however, except for two sets of footprints leading to and from the body, and one set of footprints on the perimeter, which I casted, we found nothing. Stella took soil and plant samples, as well as casts of the gardener’s shoes for elimination and we brought everything back to the lab.
---
“Cause of death?” I asked.

“Strangulation. See the petechial hemorrhaging,” Hammerback replied, pointing to the vics eyes. “Small hands. Lindsay, put your fingers on top of the bruises.” After I did, he continued, “See, there not much bigger than yours. I swabbed the neck, in case any epithelials from the perp were there. Sent it up to DNA. I’d say he’s been dead for over a day. See the defensive wounds on his arms?”

Stella replied, “Man this guy put up a fight. No blunt force trauma?”

Hammerback responded, “No. But the scariest thing is on his legs.” Hammerback pulled the sheet back to show us the legs. I gasped and swallowed hard. I looked at Stella who looked surprised. Both legs had swatiskas carved into them. “Antemortem marks. Whoever did this is sadistic, not to mention the other. The cuts aren’t deep enough to bleed out. Also,” he said, pulling out the magnifier, “the edges are pretty ragged, the perp used a pretty dull knife. Possibly a kitchen knife. It’s pretty clear the vic has been redressed.”

Oh my god. “This is a hate crime,” I said. I had to fight to keep my voice from shaking. Stella looked at me, concerned.

“Looks like it,” Stella replied.

“Why would someone just stay around to cut?” I asked. Especially with those.

“He was probably held down. See the bruises around the ankles and wrists. About as old as the ones around his neck.”

“Anything else?” Stella asked.

Hammerback responded, “Your vic was definitely dumped. The report said he was lying on his back, but the lividity would indicate he was lying on his stomach. But otherwise, not really. I sent the clothes up to the lab, and tried to print the neck, but nothing came up. Also sent a sample to tox, but I doubt he was drugged given the fight he put up.”

“Thanks,” Stella replied. Lindsay and Stella headed up to the lab to start processing the evidence.



A/N: Please review. This is my first casefic, so CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is welcome, flames are not.
 
Chapter 2
“So Linds, what do you want? DNA or Trace?” Stella asked me as we headed back to the lab.

“I’ll take trace. I’ll get the fiber Hammerback sent up as well.”

“Well, I guess I’m off to DNA. I’ll check on the prints while waiting on the DNA to run. Can you check with tox later?”

“Sure,” I said, as I headed to the trace lab.
---
I spent most of the afternoon tape lifting the clothes, then moved over to the microscope to look at the tape lifts. I had gone through all except one, when I let out a loud frustrated groan, “Ugggghhh.”

“Stuff not going well?” I looked up to see Laura, one of the trace techs.

“I’ve just gone through seventy tape lifts. Absolutely no foreign trace. And my eyes are about to blur.”

“Well, what I have won’t help much either. The fiber that Hammerback sent up from your synagogue DB,” she said, holding it out to me, “Cotton. I decided to perform a dye analysis with the chromatograph. It’s a black dye used in about fifty percent of the black clothing on the market.”

“So it’s essentially useless.”

“Sorry.”

Laura left to walk away and I turned back to the microscope. Put the seventy-first tape lift under the scope. “What the heck?”

Laura came back over. “Can I look?” I stepped back to let her use the scope. “That looks odd. It looks synthetic though. Run it through the IR.”

“Thanks.”
----
I was the fiber through the IR database, and was on my way to tox, when I bumped into someone. I had my head down, so I looked up to meet the deep blue eyes of Danny. My heart involuntarily quickened, and I quickly said, “Sorry, Danny.”

“That’s okay, Montana. I was looking for you anyway. Hawkes and I went to investigate a crime scene this afternoon, and when Sid called after the autopsy, Mac said to pass it to you and Stella.”

“Why?”

“Body dumped near a synagogue and swatiskas carved into the legs.” I had to swallow hard. “Are you okay?”

I nodded, “Same MO as ours, so it’d be easier for someone to have both.”

“Exactly. Here’s the file,” he said handing it to me. Hammerback’s waiting for you down in the morgue to go over the body really quick. The report is in the folder.” His phone rang. “It’s Mac, I’d better go.”

I opened the folder. Almost identical to the first case, except in this one, there was no footprints found, and it was found by the secretary of the synagogue. Not another case like the other. Swastikas? Aren’t things like this over? I don’t know if I can stand to see this again. I went to tell Stella I was headed to the morgue. She was still in the DNA lab. “Hey Stella, hear we’ve got a new case?”

“No, what’s up?”

I filled her in quickly. “Here’s the file. Danny said Hammerback was waiting to show me the body.” I tried to control my voice.

“I can go if you don’t want to.”

“I’m fine, Stella.” She gave me a look kind of like she didn’t believe me, but let me go on down to the morgue.
-----
“Hey Sid, I hear you’ve got a body for me to see,” I said as I walked up to Hammerback.

“Yeah, I called Mac as soon as I finished the post, because I figured he’d want you and Stella on this case.” He proceeded to tell me his findings. They were virtually the same as the earlier vic, except there was no fiber on this one. “But the legs were different,” he said, pulling the sheet up from the vics legs.

“Three swastikas?” I said, unbelievingly. “But the last one only had two.”

“Are you okay?” Sid asked.

“I’m fine.” Why can’t people just leave me alone.

“Maybe it’s about the number of people who’ve been killed so far.”

“So maybe there’s another victim out there.”

“Unfortunately. I sent samples up to tox and DNA, and sent the clothes up to the lab as well.”

“Thanks.” I left the morgue, my head swimming.


Constructive criticism welcome, flames not
 
Disclaimers: As usual, I own nothing CSI: NY.

Chapter 3
I stopped by the trace lab before heading to talk with Stella again. The report was finished, so I picked it up and looked at the results. Barbie Doll hair? What the hell? But the IR spectrum is a perfect match. Then I remembered I was supposed to go to tox, so I headed there.

“Hey, Bethany,” I said, walking into the tox lab, “would you have the report on the first synagogue DB done yet?”

She walked over to her desk and pulled the top file. “Here it is. No drugs found in the blood.”

“BAC?”

“0.01, most likely arising postmortem. Even if not, he would have still been coherent.”

“Well, that wasn’t much of a surprise.”

“Sorry I don’t have anything more. I haven’t been able to start on the sample from the second synagogue case.”

“Can you page me when you get done?”

“Sure, it probably won’t get done until tomorrow though. I’ve got a couple of other samples I need to run first.”

“Okay, thanks,” I said, leaving the lab.
----
Not finding Stella in the DNA lab, I headed to her office, but I ran into Flack on my way.

“Hey, Linds, I was looking for you and Stella.”

“Well, I’m looking for Stella. I figured she was in her office. I hope you’ve had better luck than I have today on this case. Oh, and did you hear we have another case?”

“No, I haven’t had much luck. What, another case?”

By the time I had filled Flack in, we arrived at Stella’s office. Flack held the door open for me, and I told Stella, “Well, Stella, I hope you’ve had better luck today than we have.”

“Well, I haven’t had much luck either,” she said.

“Damn it. This case is going nowhere.” I banged my fist into the wall.

“Lindsay, calm down. We’re not going to get anywhere with that frustration either,” Stella said. “How about combining everything that we have, and let’s see where that takes us. Okay, Lindsay, you start.”

“All right. Two vics, both found near synagogues. Both with swatiskas carved into their legs, antemortem, probably by a kitchen knife. One has two and the other has three. Sid speculated that it may be how many victims so far, so it’s possible there’s another vic out there. Both killed by strangulation, with hands that aren’t much bigger than mine.”

“I tested the swab the Hammerback sent up from the first vic. No foreign DNA,” Stella continued the story. “I’ve submitted the sample from the second vic.”

Flack interrupted, “Did you try fingerprinting the neck?”

Stella answered, “Apparently Hammerback did, but found nothing useable. Lindsay, go ahead and continue.”

“Wait, the victims were redressed, we should print the buttons and zippers. Well with what we know. The perp was probably wearing gloves. Hammerback found a fiber around the first vics neck, but not the second. Cotton, with dye used about half of the black clothes on the market. Useless. I tape lifted the vics clothes. Only one foreign fiber, a Barbie Doll hair. I have no clue what’s up with that.”

“Maybe the vic or the perp has a daughter. Won’t help much though,” Stella said.

“Tox on the first vic shows no drugs. Not a surprise given that both have major defensive wounds. I don’t have anything else.”

Stella picked up. “I ran the shoeprints. The ones around the perimeter were from the gardeners shoes. So they confirm his story. The other two sets are from tennis shoes, mens size 8 and 9. Which, unfortunately are both common. They’re also from common tennis shoes. So they as well, are essentially useless. I ran the vics prints through AFIS, no matches. Ran the first vics DNA through CODIS, no matches there. No matches in the missing persons database either. Flack?”

“Well, I went back to the synagogue today and spoke with the rabbi. He seemed a bit disturbed, but that’s understandable. He didn’t recognize the guy. He’s apparently not a member of that synagogue.”

“Probably goes to a different one. There’s over a hundred synagogues in this city, and that’s just in Manhattan,” I said. Stella and Flack both looked at me, but I didn’t respond further.

“Well that ruins my plans for tomorrow of visiting all the local synagogues to see if anyone knew who the vic was,” Flack said.

“So, we’ve got two vics that we have no clue who they are, and no evidence worth a damn thing. And this guys going to strike again,” I practically shouted.

“Lindsay, you’ve got to calm down,” Stella said. “You’re getting too emotional.” I looked away and nodded. “I think we need to tape lift the second vics clothes, and print both sets. Flack, maybe you could send something out to all the synagogues.”

“That sounds good,” he said.

“Tomorrow though,” Stella replied, yawning.

“Stella, we can’t…” I protested. Didn’t she understand that we couldn’t delay the case? Didn’t she realize that every moment we waited could mean more deaths?

Stella crossed her arms. “You, Lindsay Monroe, are going home. It’s nine o’clock, and we’ve been working since eight this morning. You are going home, taking a bath, and not coming in until 9 tomorrow morning. I’ll tell Mac to take you off call tonight. Understand?”

“Fine, see you tomorrow.”



Please review. They make me happy
 
Disclaimers: See above
Chapter 4

The next morning, I arrived at the lab at exactly nine o’clock. After dropping my stuff off in my office, I looked for Stella, but I couldn’t find her in the lab or her office. On my way to grab our first vics clothes for fingerprinting, I ran into Mac. “Morning, Mac.”

“Good morning, Lindsay,” he replied. “Stella’s out at another crime scene.” I guess I looked slightly confused, so he continued, “Another body, found near a synagogue. I guessed it might be same MO as your other two cases so I sent her.”

“Another one?” I exclaimed.

“Oh, and Lindsay. Stella mentioned what happened last night with your emotions, when she told me to take you off call.”

I looked down. “Sorry, Mac.”

“You know in this field you have to avoid getting to attached.” I nodded. “It’s hard when you can’t solve a case. But you’ve got to trust the evidence. And use your head, not your heart.” He squeezed my shoulder before walking off.

I stood there for a minute, my thoughts swarming. I knew Mac was right, but I didn’t want to admit the real reason I was getting so involved.
----
I was printing our first vics clothes when Stella found me in the lab. “Morning, Lindsay. We may have another case. I was just at a crime scene, same MO so far. Sid’s doing the autopsy now. He’s going to call me when he’s done.”

“Yeah, Mac mentioned it. Um, Stella,” I said, looking down, “I’m sorry about yesterday.”

“It’s okay, Linds. I just thought you needed to take a break. You can’t do your best work when you’re so emotional.”

“I know. And Mac gave me a lecture this morning, too. I just…” I replied, abruptly stopping.

“I just what?”

“Nothing,” I lied. Stella gave me a look like she didn’t believe me, but didn’t say anything further on the topic. “How’s the printing going?”

“Not well, I’m almost done, and I haven’t found anything usable yet.”

Stella got the bag with the second vics clothing. “Well, I’ll start tape lifting these. Oh, and I checked on the DNA from this vic. No matches in any database.”

A few minutes later, I had finished with the printing. “Nothing usable here. Want help with the tape lifts?”

Suddenly, Stella’s phone rang. “Bonasera… Sure, I’ll be there in a minute.” Closing her phone, she told me, “That was Hammerback, I need to go to the morgue. Why don’t you take the shirt, since I’ve got the pants?”

“Sure.”
---
I was half done with the shirt when Stella got back. “So?”

Stella went back to processing the pants as she said, “Same MO. Four swatiskas this time.”

“Damn it. Oh, and tox called about the second while you were gone. Nothing.”

“Well, let’s hope there’s something on the clothes or from the third vic.”
----
However, there was nothing. Two weeks later, we were basically in the same situation. We’d had fifteen more vics, usually two or three on the same day. We’d discovered what probably was the first vic in addition, in a garden behind a synagogue close to where I lived. Most of the vics had been identified by the rabbis of the city; however, none were found close to the ones they attended. We’d performed a wound reconstruction, but all it told us was that a kitchen knife had performed the cuts.

We hadn’t had any new vics in the past few days. Flack had gotten word out to all of the rabbis in NYC to be alert for possible victims, and all the rabbis had warned their members about it; I knew.

I was getting very frustrated and worried. Stella and Flack were as well, although not nearly as much as me. Almost everyday Stella kept telling me, “Eventually they’ll mess up and leave us some evidence.” I wasn’t really believing it anymore, and was beginning to think that Stella didn’t either.

Mac was about to pull the case, seeing as we weren’t getting anywhere.
-----
The next day was supposed to be my day off, but I got a call to a crime scene, again at a synagogue, at nine that morning, along with Stella.

This time it was the rabbi who had discovered the body. He acted surprised when I arrived at the crime scene. I tried to keep my face emotionless, although Stella stared at me after that.

Same MO, virtually everything else the same. Stella was looking at the tape lifts while I fingerprinted the clothes.

I had almost given up hope for fingerprints, when I got one of sufficient detail. However, I was sure it was just the vics, but when I compared the partial to the vics ten card, there were no matches. I submitted it to AFIS and waited. In about five minutes the computer beeped and I turned towards the monitor. I about screamed at what it said.

Positive Match.

Please review!
 
Dislaimer: See above

Chapter 5
“Stella, get to the fingerprinting lab, now,” I said over the phone, as a hit print on the computer screen.

“Sure,” she replied, sounding confused.

It only took Stella a minute to arrive. “I got a hit in AFIS to a partial from the clothing.”

“See, I told you they’d make a mistake at some point,” she said, picking up the printout. “Joseph Alan Richardson. Convicted of two counts of disturbing the peace and arrested twice on hate crime charges. Unpaid fines. Well, we can get a warrant for his arrest that way. Known associates, National Socialist Movement.”

It was hard for me to swallow, especially that last sentence. Even though it wasn’t a major surprise. “That’s a neo-Nazi group.” Stella looked at me, question on her face. “I say we have Flack bring him in for questioning.”

“And get a warrant to search his apartment.”

“Don’t you think they’d have been smart enough to throw it away?”

“Oh, Hammerback sent up a sample from one of the last vic’s cut. It showed some of the other vics DNA profiles.”

“Okay, so apparently these people are idiots.”

“Yeah, but if it helps us get them, so be it.”
----
For me, it was hard to process Joseph’s apartment. The first thing we found was hate literature of all types everywhere. I had to swallow down my vomit at one moment looking at it. We found a kitchen knife that tested positive for blood. We also found two lists: one of all the synagogues in NYC, and a second of all the synagogues we had found bodies at.
---
“So, Joseph, recognize this guy?” Stella asked, passing a picture across the table.

“No,” he sneered.

“Well, this is an old picture of Joshua, what about this one?” she continued

“No, I don’t recognize him,” he lied through his teeth.

Controlling my anger was taking all my energy, so I let Stella ask all the questions.

Stella continued through pictures of about half of our vics before I couldn’t control myself anymore.

“Quit the bull shit, Joseph. We’ve got the vics blood on your knife, bruises that match the size of your hands, and your prints on the vics clothes,” I said.

“All right, fine, you got me,” he said nonchalantly, “I killed them. But do I feel sorry, heck no.”

“You know you could at least show a little remorse,” I screamed angrily to him, almost in his face.

“Remorse? For helping make the world a better place?”

“What the fuck?! Making the world a better place by killing twenty people?”

“Those Jews? Those people don’t deserve to live.”

“What!?” I exclaimed.

“Monroe,” Stella shouted.

I ignored her, “Those Jews?”

“The only thing I’m remorseful for is that I didn’t get to kill more.”

I was reaching to shove the guy when Stella grabbed my arm, and said to the two uniforms, “Get the guy out of here.” The two uniforms handcuffed Joseph and led him out of the room.

I kept trying to pull my arm away, but Stella kept a firm grip on it. “Let go,” I said angrily. She did.

“Sit down,” she said, angrily. I had never seen Stella this angry, I had never even seen Mac this angry. She waited until I was seated before continuing, “Detective Monroe, what just happened in here?”

I had to blink back tears. I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t sure whether I’d scream or burst out crying.

After we were both silent for a few minutes, Stella continued, “Lindsay, you completely lost it in there. You almost assaulted the guy. You’ve been far too emotional in this entire case, although I had just been chalking it up to frustration, that’s not it. I want to know why?”

“Stella…” I said weakly.

“Look, Lindsay, we’re not leaving until you tell me why so unless you want to be here until the end of shift, start talking.”

I looked down, “I’m Jewish.”

“Oh, I’m taking it Mac doesn’t know.”

“It’s not in my file.”

“Lindsay, you should have never been on this case.”

“Mac wouldn’t dare take you off a case if someone had killed a Greek Orthodox person.”

“Lindsay, that’s not really the point. This wasn’t just a murder, it was a hate crime. I soon as we figured that out, you should have gone to Mac and requested to be taken off the case.”

Damn it. I know she’s right. I didn’t that Stella was also berating herself for not figuring this out. “I just didn’t want my religion to affect my job.”

“Well, Lindsay, I’m sorry to have to say this, but it just did. You could wind up getting suspended for this.”

I hung my head. “I know.”

“Well, you need to go talk to Mac.”

“Stella, I can’t…”

“Look, either you go, or I will. And don’t doubt it. Mac will be far happier if he hears it from you rather than me. I’ll finish up this paperwork.”

I knew I was beat. “All right.”


A/N: I don't agree at all with the statements made by the suspect here, but I thought it was necessary for the story. I know that we have no clue what religion Lindsay belongs to (if she does at all), but for this, I had her be Jewish.

Please review! (Probably only one more chapter left- I know the case is over, but I want to finish up with Lindsay's explosion)
 
It is an interesting twist, and it's not the first time I've seen similar things done with chars (another fandom), but I like it as long as the story's good. Which this one is, very good so far. Can't wait for more :)
 
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Last chapter!
Disclaimers: I own nothing.

I went to the restroom and just sat, with my head in my hands, in a stall before heading to Mac’s office. I knew I needed to both calm down and gather up the nerve to go speak with Mac. At first, I started crying over the tone Stella had just used with me. And over the fear of what Mac was going to do. I’d never seen her that angry; in fact, I don’t think I’d ever seen Mac that angry. However, the longer I sat there, the harder her words bore down on me. I knew I’d screwed up. I sat there, crying, for almost a half hour before I had calmed down. I left the stall and tried to wash all evidence of crying off my face.

I bumped into someone on my way out. “Oh, sorry, Stella.” I said, looking up

“Have you been to see Mac yet?” she said, looking at my face.

“No, I’m headed there now. Umm. I’m sorry about losing it on you. I needed to …”

“Don’t worry about it. I don’t think any less of you. And I’m sorry that I yelled at you like that, but I was afraid it was the only way to get through to you at that time. I had tried three times to get your attention, and you either didn’t hear or ignored it. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” I looked at her. “Oh, come on, Lindsay, it’s obvious you’ve been crying.”

“I’m worried about what Mac…”

She interrupted, “Look, you have every right to be worried. He’s got the right to suspend you over this. But you’ve got to face it, now or later. Before or after I tell him. And possibly before or after he gets a call from IAB. It will be easier now.” I nodded. She reached over to squeeze my shoulder while saying, “Look, is he going to lecture you? Oh, yeah. But I doubt he’ll do anything else.” She let go before saying, “Now, go.”

I nodded before heading to Mac’s office. Mac was working at his computer when I knocked on his door. “Do you have a minute?” I asked.

“Sure, come in.”

I sat down across the desk from him. “Umm.. I just lost it down in interrogation,” I said, hanging my head. I continued to recount everything that happened down there, from my yelling, to nearly shoving the guy, and Stella’s reprimand.

“Lindsay, I thought we’d had the conversation a couple of weeks ago on getting too emotional.” He sounded disappointed.

“I’m sorry, Mac, I’m Jewish. And the synagogue that our last victim was found out is the one I attend.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I just didn’t want my religion to affect the job. Christians don’t have to worry about this.”

“Well, that’s the sad state of affairs. But, affecting your job is exactly what happened here. Can you honestly tell me that you would have lost it if you weren’t Jewish?”

“I doubt I would of.”

“Exactly. You nearly shoved him?” His voice grew at the end.

I hung my head and nodded. “You can thank Stella that I didn’t.”

“Why did you?”

“He was saying how the vics deserved it, being Jews…”

Mac interrupted me, continuingly quietly, “All right, Lindsay, I’m not saying that you weren’t provoked, but ultimately, it’s your responsibility to control your temper. Why didn’t you get out of there?”

At this point, I would have preferred to be yelling at me. This disappointment was worse. “I just wasn’t thinking.”

Mac opened his mouth, but his phone rang. “Taylor… Can you hold for a minute? Lindsay, I want you to think about what you would have done had Stella not been in there with you. And exactly where you went wrong here. Hello,” he said back into the phone.

I could tell Mac was angry. I knew I’d gone wrong in the interrogation, but I guess the real mistake was earlier. I wasn’t sure exactly what I would have done if I was alone in there. I was so deep in thought that I didn’t hear a bit of Mac’s conversation.

“Monroe.” Mac sounded somewhat irritated. “I’ve been calling you for the past minute.

“Oh, sorry Mac, I was just thinking.”

“That’s okay. So, what would you have done had Stella not been there, if it had just been you?”

“I’m not sure.” I saw Mac’s look darkening, and quickly continued, “I’m really not. I hate to say it, but I think it’s likely that I would have pushed the perp.”

“And if you had, what would have happened?”

“You would have suspended me.”

“For a couple of weeks. But you need to look at the bigger picture. What about the case?”

I thought for a minute. “It could have gotten thrown out.” I looked down.

“Look at me,” Mac ordered. “It could have, at least with an aggressive attorney. Probably won’t happen, because neither judges nor juries are very lenient on hate crimes anymore, and you do have a confession. I just wanted you to think about the potential repercussions.”

“It’s not fair that my religion should affect the case. Court’s aren’t supposed to look at an investigator’s religion.”

“That may be true, but it will happen. You know where you went wrong here, don’t you?” I nodded. “As soon as you figured out this was a hate crime, you should have come to me and told me. Religion isn’t a factor in hiring, but it does affect the job. It’s your responsibility to make sure I’m aware of anything that could affect it, and your responsibility to make sure you’re not in situations where you could lose it.”

“I understand.”

“The call… That was IAB. Apparently, your perp, Joseph somebody, has already filed a complaint.”

I grimaced. “That was fast.”

“I do appreciate finding out from you beforehand. I can defend you a bit better that way.”

I looked away. “So, am I suspended?”

“If IAB had their way, you would be, but no. But you are getting an official reprimand on your file. Sorry, but I can’t do anything less. And, I’m not going to make this an order, but I’d like for you to visit the department counselor. I’ll give you paid time to go.”

“Thanks. Is that all?”

He nodded. “You can go.” I had reached the door when he called out, “Lindsay, you’re a good CSI. Just control the temper, okay.”

I nodded. I later decided to visit the department psychologist, but I still had nightmares for months afterwards. Some of them were of pictures of the vics, but others were me losing it again, but instead of Stella pulling me back, I either shoved the guy or even killed him.



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