Now that my school's back in session I'm posting more again...I'll post my stuff weekly so it won't look the same as last year's stuff. Monday, August 20 Biology -Taylor: Why would you miss more than 7 days of school? -Walker: I'll laugh when Taylor misses, like, 20 days. -Me: I'll suspect Walker when Taylor misses 20 days. Band -Mr. Mitchell: Matthew didn't like the trombone. Who does? No one likes the trombone ! Ah! Chad! Chad likes the trombone! David likes the trombone! How 'bout you, Jeremiah? -Jeremiah: Uhhhh...heh heh heh.... Tuesday, August 21 Algebra -Mrs. Perry: You must participate! If you are well enough to come to school, you are well enough to participate! -Matt: No. -Mrs. Perry: Yes. -Matt: I'm sick, I can't do math. -Mrs. Perry: Then go home. -Matt: I can handle that. -Mrs. Perry: Did everyone get 27? -Kaleb: If we didn't will we be punished? -Matt: I have to have a calculator...it's like breathing. -Mrs. Perry: Yeah, breathing is good. -Mrs. Perry: Do you remember back in 3rd grade...or 4th grade...or 5th grade, or 6th grade, or 7th grade, when they tried to teach you fractions and they gave up and gave you a calculator? -Mrs. Perry: I'll teach this to you some more later. -Matt: Good, 'cause I'll be here all year...and probably next year. -Mrs. Perry: If I'm planning on teaching you from a book, you'll probably need a book. -Matt: Noooo!!! -Mrs. Perry: Go to Section 1-3. -Matt: But we only have 20 minutes left. -Jon: Can't we start next week? -Mrs. Perry: Do you need more practice at this? -Matt: Yes, let's do more of it...tomarrow. Biology -Dustin: Are we gonna go back and distroy the lab- I mean, tour it? -Mrs. Douglas: Okay, this is the fire extinguisher. -Jeremiah: Not the eyewash station. -Charlee: You usually play 'Never Have I Ever' with shots of alcohol. -Buster: So, what do you play it with? Kool-Aid? -Walker: No way! We're hard-core! We play with Mountain Dew! It was like, 'Oh, god, not another!'. -Jeremiah: You should play with ammonia...that would last, like, eight seconds. -Buster: I wanna play! -Charlee: You can't. -Buster: Why not? -Jeremiah: We don't have any bleach. English -Mrs. Miers: Don't go to this website, any little 3rd or 4th grader can stick stuff up on it...although I did like the litte cartoon...let's go back to that. OH! It's a Zwinky!...Let's put some clothes on her. (Puts the shirt on the Zwinky like pants) Spanish -Mrs. Hutchings: This is free writing. Write words, phrases, sentances. You can write whatever you feel like. Your options are as open as the sky...I feel like we should all meditate after I said that... Wednesday, August 22 Algebra -Mrs. Perry: Fix it! -Melissa: I'm trying, but I'm stressing! -Matt: Chill, Melissa. -Melissa: You'd be stressing, too if you were setting at Mrs. Perry's desk...it eats things. -Mrs. Perry: HA! I was organized and I tricked you! -Mrs. Perry: We're going to work some equations today. You shouldn't have much of a problem. You worked out 3x+4+13 yesterday. -Jon: We're ready for the test! -Jon: Mrs. Perry, does this problem come out to an even number? -Mrs. Perry: Gosh...I sure hope it does... -Beverly: If you put it in your calculator it says 1.9! -Mrs. Perry: If you put it in your calculator it says 19! -Brooke: If you put it in your calculator it says, 'Give us our homework'! -Mrs. Perry: Oh! Important announcment! Please flush the commodes! There's a little handle on the side, if you push it down everything disappears! -Mrs. Perry: Students, Open House is this Thursday from 6 to 8, bring your parents. Give me something to do for 2 hours. English -Mrs. Miers: There's nothing we can do to help the other students, short of hooking them up to an I.V....I shouldn't have said that, should I? That was mean...I feel bad now. Bad teacher! -Mrs. Miers: (While the tornado sirens are testing) DUCK!!! -Mrs. Miers: I can't get this computer to workl! -Maggie: I hear they work if you throww them up against a wall. -Mrs. Miers: I've heard that, too. -Mrs. Miers: Your reports are due next Friday. -Maggie: By next Friday do you mean three days from now or- -Mrs. Miers: Your reports are due the Friday after this Friday, except for Maggie, her's is due tomarrow. -Mrs. Miers: (To her computer) You had better work or I'm done with you for the day!...I talk to things...Come on, baby! -Maggie: It sounds like she's gambling. -Mrs. Miers: Come on! Come on! Come on!...Is this it?! Is it it?! This is it! This is it! This is it!...I know what you're all thinking, 'What have we gotten ourselves into?' Spanish [Mrs. Free's classroom shares a wall with Mrs. Hutching's room] (We hear Mrs. Free yelling) -Mrs. Hutchings: That's kinda refreshing, I haven't hear Mrs. Free yell since last year. Thursday, August 23 Algebra -Mrs. Perry: Melissa, go turn on the projector. -Melissa: Okay. (Melissa gets the remote to turn on the projector) -Kaleb: You have to stand on a desk. -Melissa:...No you don't. -Kaleb: I know, I just wanted to make you mad. -Mrs. Perry: So, half of the Algebra 2 test you have to take with out a calculator. -Matt: WHAT!?! -Mrs. Perry: Yeah, I know. I e-mailed the test-lady and said, 'You've been teaching us that since these kids were in Algebra 1 to give them a calculator. What's your reasoning?'...She didn't want to talk to me. So, we'll just keep teaching Algebra 2 the same way as always and the state department can just- -Matt: Suck on my toe! -Mrs. Perry: Why is there no solution? -Jeremiah: Because there's no negative outside the x box. -Me and Mrs. Perry: X-Box. -Melissa:...Do you have to pass a test to get into kindergarten? -Mrs. Perry: You have to take a test, you don't have to pass it. They had you, like, draw pictures. -Matt: I remember, they made you go out on the playground and do jumping-jacks and crap. -Me: They made you skip, I had to practice skipping. -Jeremiah: Sounds like an alcoholics' test. -Jeremiah: I has no bat'trees. -Mrs. Perry: I has no bat'trees...the whole school has no bat'trees. -Mrs. Perry: I'm writing your homework on the wrong day, I've wrote it on the wrong day the whole week, why fix it now? Biology -Mrs. Douglas: Is everybody ready? -Ashley: No. -Mrs. Douglas: What's wrong? -Ashley: I can't find my safety symbols guide in my book...it's, like, it's just not there. -Walker: That's your geometry book. -Ashley: Oh. -Mrs. Douglas: Has everyone found Appendix B? -Jeremiah: I can't find the appendix, but I found the brain. [Mrs. Louks's room and Mrs. Douglas's room share a wall] (Hears someone yelling through the wall) -Jeremiah: Wow. Someone got a butt-chewing. -Mrs. Douglas: This is Mrs. Louks's planning period. -Maggie: Then that was Coach. -Josh: Should someone go see if they need medical attention over there? -Mrs. Douglas: The girl in the picture isn't wearing a heat-proof glove. -Josh: It might be on her other hand. -Me: What if she only has one arm, Josh? -Walker: HA! -Josh:...Then...I'd laugh at her... Band -Jessie: It sounds like a song! -Mr. Mitchell: It is a song. Friday, August 24 Algebra -Kaleb: I bet he's gonna fill his boxing gloves with mercury. -Jon: You saw that on CSI, I saw that episode. -Kayla: Is that a strawberry-o on your finger-o? -Sara: Yeah, I'm married to Strawberry Shortcake's brother. -Brooke: Does she have a brother? -Kayla: She does now! -Blake G.:...But you don't have to do 33. -Jon: It's every third problem...how do you figure that you don't have to do 33 if we do 30? -Blake E.: Blake does ancient Chinese math. -Jon: Hey, Blake, wanna teach me this 'ancient math'? -Blake G.: Sure, stop at 30. -Blake E.: What did you guys get on number 30? -Kaleb: 18. -Blake E.: How? -Kaleb: Black magic. -Mrs. Perry: You'll have an end-of-course test in May. -Beverly: Well, I'm a Senior, so it doesn't matter. -Blake E.: Well, Beverly, you're a Senior in a Junior class, so... Biology -Dustin: Who was it that got their hand caught in the shark they were disecting's mouth? -Mrs. Douglas: I don't know, there've been so many. -Maggie: What happened? -Mrs. Douglas: Someone got their hand caught on the shark's tooh. I don't even think they were in it's mouth. they probably did it on purpose. -Maggie: Yeah, 'I got bit by a shark in Arkansas.'. -Jeremiah: If your name was Constantinople would you rather be called 'Constance' or 'Opal'? -Me: Hmmm...Turkey. -Jeremiah: What about 'Istanbul'? -Me: Yeah. Spanish -Mrs. Hutchings: Jeremiah, you're not supposed to be standing up. -Jeremiah: I'm looking for my pencil. -Mrs. Hutchings: You can do that setting down. -Jeremiah: This is true. -Kayla: Nuh-uh! Only a professional pencil-finder can find a pencil while setting down. -Kayla: I'm gonna be trained as a terrorist so I can find the terrorist. -Walker: I'd like to be trained as a terrorist... (Mrs. Hutchings plays a Cuban folk song) -Kayla: Ooh...this music moves my soul to dance. -Mrs. Hutchings: This version has two verses we don't have the words to. -Kayla: It could mean anything, it could mean, 'The rat runs through the room, runs up the tree...and gets eaten by a rabid squirrel!' -Mrs. Hutchings: What does encantada mean? -Walker: Enchanted. -Mrs. Hutchings: We're more likely to say, 'delighted'. -Walker: I say enchanted....like, 'That's enchanting'. -Mrs. Hutchings: How sweet! -Kayla: Yeah, and I eat flowers for breakfast. -Mrs. Hutchings: What? -Kayla: No, no, no, no...I don't eat flowers for breakfast and Walker doesn't say 'enchanted'! -Kayla: You make me giggle. -Walker: You make me Google.