With a sudden movement Lindsay sat straight up in bed. She listened for the sound that had woken her up but she could not hear anything. Except for...
No, there was no sound in the night, not even the breath of her husband. Was it the silence in her ears, the complete absence of sound, that made her feel insecure?
Of course.
What else?
With an almost desperate glance at the door, she waited for it to open and a sleepy man to walk into the bedroom, back only from the bathroom or Lucys room. But in the second her eyes fell on the dark wood of the door, she knew that would not happen.
Of course not.
How should it?
It was deep in the night, but Lindsay had not even been asleep for half an hour before the feeling of unsafety had awoken her again from her first sleep in days. She was dressed, could feel her hairtag halfway out of her ponytail, a strand of red blonde hair falling on her face, and even her shoes still on her feet.
Ready to go by the call.
For hours she had been at home, waiting for the call, thrilled and fearful of what it would bring. Lucy had felt her mothers anxiety and responded to it, the child, usually sleepy after a meal of milk, would she not fall asleep today but whine for a long time, craving for vicinity and love. Love that, at the moment, was enclosed deeply in her mothers chest, buried by fear and worries, love that she was not ready to give, in case she had to give it to her husband for the last time.
It had been three days since the incident.
Since their obsequy for Jessica that had ended out almost in obsequies for all of them.
And that might end out in a memorial ceremony for Danny.
Three days in which Lindsay had hardly said a word, in which she had walked around like a ghost, barely able to react on whatever, not willing to leave the hospital until Stella had dragged her.
Being sat in a car seat, almost violently, and driven home into an empty flat, holding her sleeping daughter for hours in her arms, all this were blurry memories in her head though all that had happened today.
Still Lindsay had not moved, still sitting, looking into the darkness, listening to the absent sounds. The dim light of anything on the street outside made the tear on her cheek glisten.
Would she end up as a widow?
Would Lucy end up as an orphan?
She did not even know if she wanted an answer on that question.
A sound in the neighbor room made her finally move.
A baby’s whine and the sound of a moving blanket alarmed her, and she got up.
Her right shoe was halfway off her foot and she almost stumbled on her way to the baby’s room.
Lucy was still asleep. Her tiny hands were in fists and her mouth was moving as if she was trying to talk to someone. Every now and then her whole body moved a little bit and she gave sounds that seemed like crying. Watching her little daughter sleeping, Lindsay felt herself relax a little bit. But only for a few seconds.
A sound came to her ear, loud, tearing the peace of the night apart and making her heartbeat’s speed increase. Lucy opened her eyes and twinkled into the darkness.
The phone.
Fast steps brought Lindsay to the phone desk.
Reaching out for it, she hesitated.
What if...?
Behind her back she heard Lucy whine, a baby, awoken in the middle of the night by a strange sound that wouldn’t stop.
Lindsay answered the phone.
Mac.
“Did I wake you up, Lindsay?”
“No, no. I...couldn’t sleep.”
“I assumed so. Can you come? It’s about Danny.”
Her heart felt as if it would stop moving every second.
“What...?”
“He is awake. Asking for you. And Lucy.”
The tears that ran down her cheeks this time were filled with delight, and and relief, and love.
No, there was no sound in the night, not even the breath of her husband. Was it the silence in her ears, the complete absence of sound, that made her feel insecure?
Of course.
What else?
With an almost desperate glance at the door, she waited for it to open and a sleepy man to walk into the bedroom, back only from the bathroom or Lucys room. But in the second her eyes fell on the dark wood of the door, she knew that would not happen.
Of course not.
How should it?
It was deep in the night, but Lindsay had not even been asleep for half an hour before the feeling of unsafety had awoken her again from her first sleep in days. She was dressed, could feel her hairtag halfway out of her ponytail, a strand of red blonde hair falling on her face, and even her shoes still on her feet.
Ready to go by the call.
For hours she had been at home, waiting for the call, thrilled and fearful of what it would bring. Lucy had felt her mothers anxiety and responded to it, the child, usually sleepy after a meal of milk, would she not fall asleep today but whine for a long time, craving for vicinity and love. Love that, at the moment, was enclosed deeply in her mothers chest, buried by fear and worries, love that she was not ready to give, in case she had to give it to her husband for the last time.
It had been three days since the incident.
Since their obsequy for Jessica that had ended out almost in obsequies for all of them.
And that might end out in a memorial ceremony for Danny.
Three days in which Lindsay had hardly said a word, in which she had walked around like a ghost, barely able to react on whatever, not willing to leave the hospital until Stella had dragged her.
Being sat in a car seat, almost violently, and driven home into an empty flat, holding her sleeping daughter for hours in her arms, all this were blurry memories in her head though all that had happened today.
Still Lindsay had not moved, still sitting, looking into the darkness, listening to the absent sounds. The dim light of anything on the street outside made the tear on her cheek glisten.
Would she end up as a widow?
Would Lucy end up as an orphan?
She did not even know if she wanted an answer on that question.
A sound in the neighbor room made her finally move.
A baby’s whine and the sound of a moving blanket alarmed her, and she got up.
Her right shoe was halfway off her foot and she almost stumbled on her way to the baby’s room.
Lucy was still asleep. Her tiny hands were in fists and her mouth was moving as if she was trying to talk to someone. Every now and then her whole body moved a little bit and she gave sounds that seemed like crying. Watching her little daughter sleeping, Lindsay felt herself relax a little bit. But only for a few seconds.
A sound came to her ear, loud, tearing the peace of the night apart and making her heartbeat’s speed increase. Lucy opened her eyes and twinkled into the darkness.
The phone.
Fast steps brought Lindsay to the phone desk.
Reaching out for it, she hesitated.
What if...?
Behind her back she heard Lucy whine, a baby, awoken in the middle of the night by a strange sound that wouldn’t stop.
Lindsay answered the phone.
Mac.
“Did I wake you up, Lindsay?”
“No, no. I...couldn’t sleep.”
“I assumed so. Can you come? It’s about Danny.”
Her heart felt as if it would stop moving every second.
“What...?”
“He is awake. Asking for you. And Lucy.”
The tears that ran down her cheeks this time were filled with delight, and and relief, and love.