G
Guest
Guest
CSI: Miami Radio Talk Show by =Horatio=
Horatio: Hi, everyone! Welcome to the show! Today we've taken the liberty of inviting the CSI from Las Vegas to be our pannel to answer all of life's troubling questions. Welcome, guys!
Grissom: Hey! I thought you said this was a business talk show!
Horatio: Well, we needed to get you here.
Grissom: This is an unfair vilolation of my rights. I'm leaving.
Horatio: Someone tie him up.
*!shuffle!**!scream!**!crash!*
Eric: What are you waiting for, Horatio? He's tied up...
Horatio: Okay, and onto our first caller. Hello, what seems to be the problem?
Anonymous Caller : Well, I've got this girlfriend...
Eric: At least he has a girlfriend...Grissom.
Grissom: Huh...?
Sara: Grissom has got only one GIRLFRIEND.....me!
Grissom: You? Oh, come on. (Laughs) You're terrible, Sara.
Sara: I'll show you terrible. (struggles)
Horatio: Caller, you were about to tell us about this girlfriend...?
Anonymous Caller: She's really pretty, and I think she wants to marry me...but she's kinda giving me mixed signals.
Sara: That sounds familiar (looks at Grissom).
Anonymous Caller: Is there some way I can tell whether she likes me or not?
Catherine: Shave off your hair. If she loves you, she'll stay with you.
Anonymous Caller: But then the fleas will have no where to live!
Catherine:………………………………………………………???
Anonymous Caller: Hello? Is someone listening?
Nick: Perhaps you could try confronting the girl and telling her how you feel...if she doesn't love you, at least you'll know.
Sara: DAM it! Why didn't I do that instead?
Eric: Because shaving off your hair is less humiliating than confessing your love to someone like Grissom?
Anonymous Caller: Thanks, I'll try that.
Horatio: Okay, that went well. Our next caller goes by that name "Captain Planet".
Eric: Cool name.
CaptainPlanet: I've got this problem.
Warrick: Haven't we all. I'm sick of this, let's talk about my problems.
Horatio: Sorry, Warrick. There is a time limit to our show.
CaptainPlanet: As I was saying, I'm in the saving-the-earth business.
Eric: Terrible, isn't it?
CaptainPlanet: I'm getting a little tired of having to always save everyone. It put a little pressure on me that the survival of the planet rest on my shoulders. Sometimes I'd like to just like to go on a holiday.
Warrick: Then why don't you? (evil snicker)
CaptainPlanet: Because millions of innocent people will die!
Warrick: It happens.
Greg: I'm bored. Can I open a window?
Grissom: Certainly not, it's too dangerous.
CaptainPlanet: Arn't you all meant to be solving my problem?
Eric: You're a hero, Captain Planet. If you don't want responsiblities, get evil.
CaptainPlanet: I object! Being evil is a stressful job...constantly being outwitted...being doomed for failure the rest of your hopeless existance....
Sara: Captain, you're a hero. No matter what you do, you'll always triumph.
CaptainPlanet: Really?
Sara: The Super Hero law will not permit good guys to lose....it says so on page 1342 in "10001 Things you can't let the main characters do."
Eric: Gimme that. Look, it also says you can't let characters <**!!BEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!**> What a disappointment!
Greg: Cool! What else does it say?
Grissom: Don't let him have the book! We need to shelter him from the evils of the adult world!
Eric: Evils? Who let you look after him, then?
CaptainPlanet: Okay, maybe I will take that holiday!
________________________________________
COMMERCIAL BREAK
________________________________________
Horatio: Welcome back to the show. If you weren't with us earlier, we managed to get the CSI of Las Vegas here. If you've got a nagging problem that you'd entrust to our team, you can reach us at 9555-3728-3452.
Eric: Who's gonna remember that one?
Horatio: Greg, stop sneaking up on me. I will not let you play with my Sunglasses and that's final. Anyway, here's the next caller Andy.
ANDY: Horatio, I think my toys are alive.
Warrick: I used to think my toys were alive.
Grissom: In your case, Warrick, they were. Didn't your parents ever tell you not to play with your victims?
Eric: We won't mention what kind of toys Warrick plays with.
Horatio: How do you mean, Andy?
ANDY: I mean they get up and walk around, and they attack my next door neighbours.
Horatio: Sure they do. My action figures talk to me, as well.
*silence*
Sara: O..K...
Warrick: I'm hungry.
*splash**yell*
Horatio: Will everyone concentrate? Greg, get out of the fish tank! Eric, stop poking Catherine.
Eric: I was just checking to see if her skin dints when I poke her.
Horatio: Okay, Andy. I can't really help you with this one. You may need to talk to your toys and help this admit that they've been hiding something from you.
*clunk*
Horatio: Hey, did everyone watch 'The Nanny' last night? Don't you think it's about time Franny and that Mr. Shefield admitted they love each other? I mean, really, two full seasons...!
Grissom: Um..why are you raising an eyebrow at me, Horatio?
Sara: (giving Grissom the evil eye)
Horatio: Geez. Well, Gil, I was trying to point something out.
Horatio: And that sounds means we're out of time for tonight. But tune in next week, when we'll be broadcasting from The worlds most famous...Bowling alley? How sad is that?
The End
Horatio: Hi, everyone! Welcome to the show! Today we've taken the liberty of inviting the CSI from Las Vegas to be our pannel to answer all of life's troubling questions. Welcome, guys!
Grissom: Hey! I thought you said this was a business talk show!
Horatio: Well, we needed to get you here.
Grissom: This is an unfair vilolation of my rights. I'm leaving.
Horatio: Someone tie him up.
*!shuffle!**!scream!**!crash!*
Eric: What are you waiting for, Horatio? He's tied up...
Horatio: Okay, and onto our first caller. Hello, what seems to be the problem?
Anonymous Caller : Well, I've got this girlfriend...
Eric: At least he has a girlfriend...Grissom.
Grissom: Huh...?
Sara: Grissom has got only one GIRLFRIEND.....me!
Grissom: You? Oh, come on. (Laughs) You're terrible, Sara.
Sara: I'll show you terrible. (struggles)
Horatio: Caller, you were about to tell us about this girlfriend...?
Anonymous Caller: She's really pretty, and I think she wants to marry me...but she's kinda giving me mixed signals.
Sara: That sounds familiar (looks at Grissom).
Anonymous Caller: Is there some way I can tell whether she likes me or not?
Catherine: Shave off your hair. If she loves you, she'll stay with you.
Anonymous Caller: But then the fleas will have no where to live!
Catherine:………………………………………………………???
Anonymous Caller: Hello? Is someone listening?
Nick: Perhaps you could try confronting the girl and telling her how you feel...if she doesn't love you, at least you'll know.
Sara: DAM it! Why didn't I do that instead?
Eric: Because shaving off your hair is less humiliating than confessing your love to someone like Grissom?
Anonymous Caller: Thanks, I'll try that.
Horatio: Okay, that went well. Our next caller goes by that name "Captain Planet".
Eric: Cool name.
CaptainPlanet: I've got this problem.
Warrick: Haven't we all. I'm sick of this, let's talk about my problems.
Horatio: Sorry, Warrick. There is a time limit to our show.
CaptainPlanet: As I was saying, I'm in the saving-the-earth business.
Eric: Terrible, isn't it?
CaptainPlanet: I'm getting a little tired of having to always save everyone. It put a little pressure on me that the survival of the planet rest on my shoulders. Sometimes I'd like to just like to go on a holiday.
Warrick: Then why don't you? (evil snicker)
CaptainPlanet: Because millions of innocent people will die!
Warrick: It happens.
Greg: I'm bored. Can I open a window?
Grissom: Certainly not, it's too dangerous.
CaptainPlanet: Arn't you all meant to be solving my problem?
Eric: You're a hero, Captain Planet. If you don't want responsiblities, get evil.
CaptainPlanet: I object! Being evil is a stressful job...constantly being outwitted...being doomed for failure the rest of your hopeless existance....
Sara: Captain, you're a hero. No matter what you do, you'll always triumph.
CaptainPlanet: Really?
Sara: The Super Hero law will not permit good guys to lose....it says so on page 1342 in "10001 Things you can't let the main characters do."
Eric: Gimme that. Look, it also says you can't let characters <**!!BEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!**> What a disappointment!
Greg: Cool! What else does it say?
Grissom: Don't let him have the book! We need to shelter him from the evils of the adult world!
Eric: Evils? Who let you look after him, then?
CaptainPlanet: Okay, maybe I will take that holiday!
________________________________________
COMMERCIAL BREAK
________________________________________
Horatio: Welcome back to the show. If you weren't with us earlier, we managed to get the CSI of Las Vegas here. If you've got a nagging problem that you'd entrust to our team, you can reach us at 9555-3728-3452.
Eric: Who's gonna remember that one?
Horatio: Greg, stop sneaking up on me. I will not let you play with my Sunglasses and that's final. Anyway, here's the next caller Andy.
ANDY: Horatio, I think my toys are alive.
Warrick: I used to think my toys were alive.
Grissom: In your case, Warrick, they were. Didn't your parents ever tell you not to play with your victims?
Eric: We won't mention what kind of toys Warrick plays with.
Horatio: How do you mean, Andy?
ANDY: I mean they get up and walk around, and they attack my next door neighbours.
Horatio: Sure they do. My action figures talk to me, as well.
*silence*
Sara: O..K...
Warrick: I'm hungry.
*splash**yell*
Horatio: Will everyone concentrate? Greg, get out of the fish tank! Eric, stop poking Catherine.
Eric: I was just checking to see if her skin dints when I poke her.
Horatio: Okay, Andy. I can't really help you with this one. You may need to talk to your toys and help this admit that they've been hiding something from you.
*clunk*
Horatio: Hey, did everyone watch 'The Nanny' last night? Don't you think it's about time Franny and that Mr. Shefield admitted they love each other? I mean, really, two full seasons...!
Grissom: Um..why are you raising an eyebrow at me, Horatio?
Sara: (giving Grissom the evil eye)
Horatio: Geez. Well, Gil, I was trying to point something out.
Horatio: And that sounds means we're out of time for tonight. But tune in next week, when we'll be broadcasting from The worlds most famous...Bowling alley? How sad is that?
The End