CSI Miami-=Perdu=-

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by HummerHeadlites, May 12, 2009.

  1. HummerHeadlites

    HummerHeadlites Hit and Run

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    OK guys. This is my first CSI fanfic. I decided to write one because I'm a big writer myself anyway and realized it's about time I get myself into one. So this story is actually finished. I'm reediting it which is taking a lot of time and makes it a bit choppy on my part. So if I don't update for a few days that's why. This story was originally called The Seen and Unseen. It was not a CSI fic but I kinda twisted it around into one. I'd have to say this story has been one of my greatest accomplishments...I had over 600 comments on fanfiction when it was out. I miss those days! So I hope you all enjoy it just as much!
    Genre: Mystery, action, angst, adventure, horror.
    Rating: T (PG-13--for violence)
    Story Summery: An unusual event causes Ryan to reminisce on a past event that happened 12 years ago in a mystery that nearly got himself killed--and left a villain craving revenge.

    We'll see if this is any good. It's been ages since I've work anything besides essays. Enjoy!

    Prologue:

    Ryan woke. His body throbbed like a thousand pounds of condensed pressure digging into him. He slowly pushed himself up from his very crooked and painful position at the steering wheel. His head ached from apparently being smashed into the dashboard, where now there was a large dent. He groaned and tried steadying himself. He began checking for any serious wounds. Since he didn’t feel any major pain, Ryan Wolfe, CSI, assumed his condition fine—until he brushed a hand through his hair. His fingers gingerly ran across a substance, matted down by something sticky. Ryan rubbed his scalp and cried out suddenly as it stung with intense pain. He had a huge knot on his head, and the excruciating ache of it suddenly made him nauseous—as well as the blood he noticed smeared over his hand.

    He took a moment to calm his nerves and think. Ryan sat there a moment, collecting his thoughts as his head screamed with pain. He tried remembering the past moments events—but nothing came. Looking around a moment, events began to slowly place back together. They’d been in a wreck. Flashes of the car horn blaring came to mind. Then the radio blasted on, and weirdest of all—the steering went totally dead, and so were the brakes. All he remembered was driving off the road and into a huge ditch… and then the world went completely black.

    He suddenly remembered something and swung around to the back seat, ignoring the pull in his back. Ryan registered his two passengers. Calleigh and Eric Delko had come along to investigate the case of his missing brother, Harry. The GPS had led them down a long road with a dead end. That was when all the commotion happened and the wreck. Ryan bit back the sudden wave to act impulsively as he saw Calleigh and Eric lying motionless. Eric, who sat in the passengers seat, had a trail of blood oozing down one side of his face, and his arm was bent in such an abnormal position that it made Ryan cringe. He quickly checked Delko’s pulse and was relieved to find he was alive and breathing, but he was still worried about the apparent concussion Eric had received to his head, and his broken arm. Then Ryan quickly checked Cal and was faced with the same situation—except Calliegh’s concussion appeared more minor. And she didn’t seem to have any broken bones, just a few bruises.

    Ryan’s gut kicked in and he knew he had to act. He had to get help. The driver’s door was gone, so he had no trouble freeing himself from his temporary prison. But Ryan suddenly screamed as his right foot hit the sand. He clenched his jaw together to lessen the pain as he was instantly flooded with a rush of scorching heat in his leg. He never noticed the pain in his ankle till now. He examined it. Though it felt horrible, he was thankful it only appeared to be a sprain.

    Knowing he couldn’t let a mere sprain stop him, Ryan got to his feet, deciding to ignore the pain and move on. Officer’s lives could be on the line—and he couldn’t risk it. He turned around and winced as he noticed the ditch had smashed the whole front engine of the hummer completely in. Ryan quickly pulled out his cell and began typing in the 911 number—but he suddenly realized his phone was dead. But this doesn’t make any sense… he thought in frustration. That emergency number should always work… All the controls in the hummer where gone. There seemed no way out of this…almost ironic how that happened all in one place.

    Suddenly he heard a faint hum of an engine. Ryan swiveled around and saw just barely on the horizon a black dot. It slowly got bigger and bigger till he could finally make out a dark blue van. Finally! He thought, some help. But just as he was going to wave the vehicle to him—he remembered something. Didn’t Eric mention before that this road led to a dead end? Well then… if it did… what reason would that van has for coming his way? Unless…

    Ryan suddenly raced to the hummer. His scrambled up to Eric and shook him violently. “Delko?” he cried in a trembling voice. “Eric?!” Ryan shook him some more. “Eric… c’mon! I need you to wake up here pal!” But he didn’t. Ryan began panicking. Something was horribly wrong here. Someone had obviously planned the wreck—that would explain why the GPS had led them to a dead end. It all made sense. A GPS uses satellites to send and receive information. If these people had hacked into the stream—they could modify not only the information being sent to the satellite, but also to the GPS. But who would want to track them? And why?

    A thought crept into Ryan’s mind that nearly made him sick. He had wanted to forget it all these years—but the thought that this storm could come back made his stomach turn.
    Johnson…” he said aloud, instinctively grabbing hold of his belt and resting his hand on his gun.

    Suddenly he heard the engine cut off and knew the van had stopped near them. Ryan frantically looked around the car. The only thing he could think of was getting Eric and Cal away safely. But it was far too late for that. Ryan’s heart nearly stopped when he heard pairs of footsteps rounding the corner.

    Ryan did the only thing that came to mind. He hurriedly jumped back in the front seat and laid his head on the steering wheel—as if he were still unconscious. He would play a little game of ‘possum’ with them. They obviously wanted them dead. So give them a hint and catch them off guard. He hoped it would work anyway.

    "Hey Chris!” a rough Russian accent erupted through the silence. Ryan could feel someone’s eyes on him. It was that moment when he felt horribly uncomfortable and wanted to move or shift about, and then felt as if he had suddenly a million bugs crawling over him…
    “Is ‘e dead?” Ryan could smell the foul breath of the character next to him now. He was checking inside the car—probably at Cal and Eric. Suddenly a cold finger was jammed up his neck—the man was feeling his pulse. Crap…

    “No,” the man next to him answered. “We’ve got three officers down here sir. But they’re still…” His words were cut off immediately by a fist in the jaw. Ryan followed suit by brandishing his gun to the man’s temple. But the Russian’s reflexes were sharp. He twisted the devise somehow from Ryan’s grasp, catching him off guard and throwing the gun against the opposite window. Ryan followed up instantly with a brusque double-kick in the chest of the offender, hissing sharply through his teeth from the pain in his ankle.

    But Ryan regretted the move, realizing his kick had no effect on the immense bulk of the man. Before he could act, the man had jerked him roughly from the car to the ground. Ryan cried out as the back of his head slammed against the edge of the vehicle. Before he could regain his footing, a pair of burly hands seized him by both arms and pinned them behind his back. Ryan fought violently against the man, but was no match when a second Russian came to his attacker’s aid. Both began dragging Ryan towards the blue van.

    "No!” Ryan cried, trying to shove off the iron hands restraining him. “Eric!” he yelled, trying to get their attention as he noticed another Russian drawing towards the hummer, gun drawn. “No…Cal!”

    Though he knew the odds of escape were now slim, Ryan still struggled with every inch of power left in him. Then he saw to his horror three other men walk up to his car and drag the unconscious officers away from it and towards the van.

    No!” Ryan screamed in protest, fighting more than ever now. “You let them go!” He tried kicking his captors away. “Let… me… argh… go!”
    But the men’s hold on Ryan only got stronger as they fastened ropes around him. Ryan now watched helplessly as the men threw Calleigh and Delko into the side of the van and slammed the door.

    A figure suddenly admitted itself from the driver’s seat, and strolled up to Ryan’s crudely restrained form. The man had a black mask on. He walked up to Ryan and stared at him for a long moment. Then he pulled off his mask. Ryan stared in complete horror. He new that malicious smile, those silver eyes.

    Ms. Johnson…

    :devil:
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2009
  2. csifann1

    csifann1 CSI Level Two

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    OMG!! This is awesome!

    See? You have some kind of gift for making videos/icons/banners & now FF's :D

    And that was mean, couldn't you post more? :lol:
    I just can't wait for the next chapter :D
     
  3. Meatball42

    Meatball42 Police Officer

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    Wow, most fics are really lame, but this one seems in character. I'm intruiged! Keep going. Have you planned the whole story, or are you making it up as you go?
     
  4. HummerHeadlites

    HummerHeadlites Hit and Run

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    It's all planned. The plot is very intricate. You basically have to read EVERY detail to understand it at the end. I'm actually in the process of publishing the original version of this with it's original characters. This (the CSI version) is set up a bit different. But it's still got the idea. It's fun messing around with stories like that. And it fits SO well with CSI anyway so I just slid it in. And thank you so much! I only write things if they're original. I like to give my audience something to chew on:)

    And csifann1 thank you so much! I know it does seem like I do everything. But I don't. I just got an artistic eye. I love creating things, like books where I can make my own plots and characters. Now that summer break is here I have so much free time! I feel I could climb a mountain. lol. So I'm writing a book again. It feels so good! Writing this was like my golden years. I had so much fun with it. This book is some 300 pages so...don't expect it to be a simple two-shot! lol.
     
  5. csifann1

    csifann1 CSI Level Two

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    When I said you have some kind of gift, I meant that I love your work, I hope you didn't get me wrong ;)

    Did you already posted that in FF.net?
     
  6. HummerHeadlites

    HummerHeadlites Hit and Run

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    Aww! No no! I understood completely:) I just want to make sure that people know I'm good at a lot of things, just not everything. I don't want to seem like I'm coming on this forum just to be the center of attention, ya know? The last forum I was on people got the wrong idea and thought that's what I was trying to do. I was just showing some of my skills and basically they kicked me off.
    I'm in the process of getting it on there. I don't even know if I can rememeber my password for fanfiction.net! lol. It seems it's been years:) If you're a regular member on there do you mind introducing me to some other CSI authors? Do you write any fiction 'cause I'll most definitely check it out.
    **I'm proof-reading the next chapter. It should be up today sometime. Maybe two because I'm off.
     
  7. csifann1

    csifann1 CSI Level Two

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    Good :D
    oh really? That's so bad, everyone has the skills that has, no one has fault, right? If you're good at something, just show to others your work and let's see if they like ;)
    The people of Talk.Csi is all nice :D :lol:
    Oh sorry, I'm not a member there, actually, I don't read many ff's, I wish I'd do, but I don't, I just read when someone suggest me some or when I know the writer is good :D And I don't write ff's either, I wish I could write like some talented people in this forum, but I don't :rolleyes: :lol:
    But I'm sure other people can say to you some good CSI authors :)
     
  8. HummerHeadlites

    HummerHeadlites Hit and Run

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    Re: CSI Miami-=Perdu=- Chapter 2!!!

    Thanks for all the reviews guys! Here's the next chappy. I know it's a bit crappy but things'll start making sense here eventually! Enjoy!

    NOTE: This is set before the ep Wolfe In Sheeps Clothing.

    She stared down at him. That moment of silence was agonizing. Johnson was known for intimidating someone with her eyes rather than her tongue. Power was the ultimate of her existence. She could hold an entire city in her hands, point an order and watch it crumble. As the supreme of the Russian Mob she had no fear, only shred and cruel intuition. Ryan had humiliated her, now he expected to be given the same treatment—only more painful. Johnson had that horrible smile plastered on her face, one Ryan wished more than anything he could slap off. She was enjoying his annoyance, that’s exactly what she wanted. That was the only way to get him to cooperate.

    Johnson smacked the crop she held against her hand as she watched him. It was so quiet now Ryan focused his attention rather on the wind. He could hear it faintly whistling and feel the hot sun scorching his back. If anything his calm would ensure her he wasn’t intimidated by her presence. She never deserved that pleasure. Johnson suddenly walked closer to him and tapped him in the side with her whip. It was an order to stand, as if a mere crop would make him summit. Ryan didn’t need any help. The two men holding him roughly pulled him to his feet before he could even try.

    She laughed as she saw his badge gleam in the light. That hideous, malicious laugh Ryan remembered so well. He remained standing, feeling her sharp gaze move over him—though he made sure to return it with a steady glare.

    “Well, well, well...” she sang with a malicious smile. “Ryan Wolfe. You’ve changed quite a bit since I last saw you. Just a boy, and now look at you. A CSI?” She suddenly wrenched the badge from his belt. She studied it. “Really Wolfe I thought you knew better? One of Horatio’s nearest and dearest aren’t you? As I recall you told me you never wanted to be an officer like your father.” She smiled again. “I take it you changed your mind.” She stepped closer for more effect. “Was it because of me?” She knew he wasn’t going to answer when she saw his jaw set defiantly. He was still as stubborn as ever. “I see...” she said circling him. “You still haven’t forgiven me for our little event at the Melone...” She laughed. “And I’d have to say nor have I.” She stopped and eyed him squarely. “I haven’t forgotten you since the day we parted.”

    Ryan felt a sudden fire surge inside him, but his stubbornness managed to give her a mock smile back.

    “Rhiamon Johnson…” he scanned her for a moment. “You looked as if you’ve aged every day since I last saw you. Or is the Miami sun too harsh on your features?” He watched the color flood her face and her eyes narrow to slits.
    “So is this revenge then…or are you still trying to take over the world?”

    “Your smart-ass tongue only got you into trouble boy, remember that…” she retorted, her crop now making red marks on her skin as she smacked it harder and harder against her hand.

    Ryan had enough. He pulled at his captors grip to get closer. “You know lady you’re an idiot if you think doing this will get you any profit,” Ryan hissed. “If revenge is all you want with me than fine…but let the two officers go.” He bit back the sting of curses as images of his past forced themselves back into his memory. “You’ve already made my life hell,” he growled through clenched teeth, “…ruined my family, don’t get them into this...”

    “You’re wrong Ryan...” Johnson said, coming even closer. “I haven’t ruined you enough. Your definition of ‘ruin’, in my opinion, should’ve qualified for something far worse. And that is seeing you in chains—rotting in some cramped cell where there’s nothing else to do but ponder all the events that brought you to that final place of suffering and misery.”

    Ryan just glared, fidgeting restlessly under the severity of his bonds. For once the moment of silence let him think of one last point as his gaze shifted to the wrecked hummer.

    “I know what you’re doing. This is about that device isn’t it?” he said, watching for her reaction. “Government has you pinned on that Rhiamon. They know you have it, and they will track you down. It’s only a matter of time.”

    “Thanks to my mole here,” she said smiling, raising his chin with her crop. “And with you gone there’s no more information is there? The government is too slow. By the time they figure out where I am, whole cities will be wiped out. That military device has been modified. It is no longer just a weapon. It now is a weapon of mass destruction. Once major cities are wiped out, then finally the Russian’s can gain a foothold.” She paused a moment and shook her head. “Jail is a nasty place. Rather not go back.”

    “But that didn’t seem to stop you did it? No Johnson, this time they’re not going easy on you. They’ll silence you for good.”

    She came very close and whispered into his ear, “You have no idea what you’re up against. The world you knew is no more, darling.” Johnson backed away, grinning at him as she walked back towards the van. “Say goodbye to your precious friends. You’ll never see them again...”

    Johnson eyed the two men holding Ryan, and nodded to the vast barren beach behind her.

    “Tie him up,” she ordered them. “And make sure you do it right. If he escapes—your lives will pay for it.” She smiled.
    ­________________________________________________
    Whew!
    Review review! Makes me happy!
    K--so hopefully I'll have the next chappy up tomorrow. Make no promises though because the next chapter has to do with a flashback into about 12 years before and I want it to be exactly right before I publish. This is where the mystery begins. Everythings got to fall into place or it's not gonna make sense.
    Love ya guys to death! Thanks to those EPIC fans who left me a review on my first chapter! You guys are freakin awesome! You give my writing muse inspiration:)
     
  9. csifann1

    csifann1 CSI Level Two

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    Re: CSI Miami-=Perdu=- Chapter 2!!!

    YAY :D
    Quite interesting, a little confusing, though. But like you said, it's gonna be all on place, so I'll trust you ;)
    Great chapter :D
     
  10. HummerHeadlites

    HummerHeadlites Hit and Run

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    K guys--sorry about the somewhat long wait. I had a TON of epic action this last week so I had to give writing a bit of a break. This chapter is completely new. It wasn't pre-written. I decided to add it in for a couple of reasons which you'll see in later chapters. It's dedicated soley to my BEST friend in the world--who has been with me since the beginning of my writings here on fanfiction, Brie. Her grandpa is dying in the hospital right now. It's been really hard on her so I wrote this with her in mind.

    This is for you Brie! And also all my wonderful reviewer! Not very many people are getting into it on this site--but it's doing very well on fanfic so I'm not worried:) It WOULD be nice if somemore people would comment on it here--but I guess I doesn't matter. Csifann1 you are awesome!

    This was wrote to the song Corynorhinus from the Batman Begins soundtrack. It goes beautifuly to the scene--so if anyone is interested check it out. It gives the moment a little more feel and emotion. LOVE how music does that don't you?

    Sometimes life can scar you in places. And in the waning of those dark hours, it leaves a hole inside you. A hole so large, and dark, emptied of all love and passion, you’re left shriveled away, wasted into yet another neglected being on this earth. And still you wonder—what’s left for you now? You wear your heart on your sleeve, only to have it stomped on. You’re under a gun, and life isn’t proving any better. Only time will fill this empty place inside. How can a person be that cure, when it was their selfishness that only made that hole bigger?


    Twelve years before…

    The only thing he felt was cold. Everything around him was still. Even the trees didn’t sing. The only thing that did was the pounding of his heart. It beat against his chest again and again and again, a constant tormenter, reminding him he was still alive. Life…the word meant nothing to him suddenly. It was at that moment in his life that for once he wished he could die. A lonely tear streamed down his face, the first since her death. He felt like a bottle, never admitting his deepest feelings. But now, nothing seemed to matter anymore. Those tears were for his mother, and she would rest knowing her image was remembered.

    He’d asked God “why?” since the day she died. What was life that it should be taken so carelessly? Somehow it didn’t seem right that he should still live when his mother lay before him, her breath all wasted away. Existence was frail. More than ever before it sat before him, reminding him how important the smallest of moments are.

    He felt his teeth grind together in outrage as they lowered her into the earth. Of all people his mother deserved better. It didn’t seem right that her life should end this way. End with her body broken, what was left of her corpse now resting in a fashioned box. Of every life that had passed in that place, men and women, children and soldiers, why did his mother’s soul now have to rest alongside theirs?

    She was beautiful as the dusk hit her, the last light to ever rest against her skin. Flowers glowed fresh, crowning her still frame. Her face was the only thing left unharmed. The rest of her lay swallowed by the shadows of her new prison. Ryan Wolfe stood there, his knees grinding against each other, the only thing keeping him on his feet. Memories of her silent voice still rang in his ears. It was the only thing left of her now. He could still feel the reassuring touch of her cold hands as they grasped his once more. Never again would he touch those hands, or look into those eyes. Never again would he feel her presence.

    He watched as the morning sun as it rose out of the mist, suppressing a burst of light between the wake of the cemetery trees. Like fingers it reached for the lonely, silent pillars of stone. The graves of so many, sunlight glowing off the polished marble like a force of emanate energy. “The dead are the light, Ryan, as I will be.”

    “Ryan?”

    The name made him flinch. He knew that voice. The cold texture of it would warrant him to leave. But he wouldn’t. His mother was worthy of more than desertion. He was reminded of his mother’s old dog, whom stood by her, always faithful to the end. Now it was his turn to be that loyal image, even when the others were not.

    A hand pressed his shoulders. Ryan made no attempt to move or even acknowledge the person.

    “Ryan, son, it’s time,” his fathers gruff, sandpaper voice calmly stated.

    Ryan’s head lowered, afraid his dad would see the tears scarring his face. He wiped them furiously away with the palm of his hand, knowing his dad would scold him for admitting any kind of emotion at all. “Emotion clouds your thoughts and causes you to make mistakes,” his father had yet to remind him. Ryan didn’t need reminded. As far as he was concerned his father’s advise was crap. What did he care if his dad didn’t approve? His mother was dead. He had a right to morn her passing.

    “I’ve booked a few rooms in the hotel down the street,” Mr. Wolfe said, now grabbing his son’s arm. “The boys need their rest.” He watched his son’s stoic gaze linger on the grass beneath his feet, the morning breeze blowing strands of dark hair into his eyes. “It’ll take time to heal from this, son, but I’m sure in the next few weeks you boy’s ‘ll be fine. Really.”

    Ryan still remained unmoved. His father’s grip increased it’s hold on him, now pulling him from the place he’d stood for the last four hours.
    “C’mon son, the cab is waiting…”

    Ryan followed him reluctantly, never taking his eyes off his mother’s grave, now resting alongside the rest of her ancestors. He knew now why his dad chose to bury her so far away from home. It was so he could forget her. It might cause him to screw up his job—not like it already had. Ryan wanted to scream, he wanted to kill something. But it only came out as simply a farewell.

    “I love you mom…” his voice rasped, tears landing like rain at his feet--leaving a pool of memories behind.

    hmm--k. So I know it's a bit on the slow side. But I thought the emotion would help round out the story and Ryan's history a bit. Also I wanted to introduce the tension taking place between him and his father. It's gonna start getting exciting so hang in there! Everything has a purpose in this story:)
    Review review! It's better than gummy worms and jellybellys!
     
  11. csifann1

    csifann1 CSI Level Two

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    oh gosh, I'm late for school so I can't read the chapter now, but I'll later :D
    Damn school :scream:

    I think this chapter was really good, it's was slow like you said, but everything in their time ;) It was good to know the relation Ryan had with his mom, and the relation he has with her dad. Great work.

    So looking forward for the next chapter :D

    See? I told ya I'd come in here to read it :p
     
    Last edited: May 26, 2009
  12. addictedtoSpeed

    addictedtoSpeed Judge

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    I don't read fanfiction as a general rule but I had to check this one out and I am really enjoying it so far HummerHeadlites! Keep it coming!
     

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