I've never written any fanfic before and quite honestly I might have some glaring conflict with the canon in here but if you think I have any legs to stand on please say so and I can get on to the fun parts. The way I planned this is to have sortof "the way it all began" and then end up filling in some "after the credits rolled" for the stuff right now. thanks guys! ------------------------------------------------ Grissom watched as Nick was loaded into the ambulance, his face showing none of the myriad of emotions assaulting his brain. Most were the expected emotions from a person who had just watched someone they cared about be buried alive and attacked by fire ants, but also something he couldn’t name. In his quiet reverie, Shel Silverstien’s ‘Whatif” poem seemed to be taking on a whole new feeling. What if that had been me? Would I have gotten out of there? What if it had been me and they didn’t find me in time? What if I died and never even tried to be with her. As if on cue, the very woman his thoughts had led him to spoke behind him. “God, I’m glad we got him.” Sara said, almost to herself. He turned to face her but didn’t speak, still lost inside the maze of his thoughts. She too appeared absorbed in her own thoughts for a moment then spoke, directly to him this time. “It could have been any of us too. I think… I think we take so much for granted, especially with the work we do.” She shook her head, “Sorry, I’m getting all, well…” she smiled, “I’m over-talking again I guess.” The reference to their past conversation jolted Grissom, bringing him back to a time like many others where he hadn’t acted in the best interest of his relationship with the woman he so badly wanted to be able to show his love. “Sara, do you want to go get some breakfast?” Grissom said impulsively. Sara was taken aback for a moment but then smiled. “You know, I actually need a ride home because my car is in the shop. Greg brought me in today and he was going to drive me home but if you don’t mind dropping me off breakfast would be great.” “I believe we have a plan” Grissom replied with a smile.
Well that's a good start but i would love it more if your part were much longer You can also separate the dialogue from the narrating part, it would be clearer for you and for us Anyway i think it can be good if you keep following that way
oops sorry, the stuff where I had their thoughts was in itallics when I typed it on word. I forgot to change it.
please if anyone else was anything to say, tell me. Im writing the next couple parts right now and I should put it up sometime soonish. it'll be longer than that ^ first part, I just wanted to make sure people werent gonna be like "oh my gosh you seem to have never met G & S"
butterflylove206, I love your story about Graves Danger, that was my favorite episode, that was the first one I start watching. You can edit it for 24 hours, you can't double post, that is called spamming, that is a rule. You don't want the Mod. to come in here and smack you, they will because it make them mad if you double post.
OMG!!!i loved it!the Episode Grave danger made me cry at the end when the pulled Nicky out the box!!I was so happy though!
PLEASE don't double post! you can use the "EDIT" button within 24 hours. It just make me angry to repeat the same thing everyday, please read the board rules
really sorry about the double post, I totally wasn't thinking "oh wait thats gonna be a double post" wont happen again ok this might be kinda bad too but bear with me. Constructive crit. is encouraged _-------------------------------------- Minutes later Grissom and Sara were on their way across town. The cool night air blew through the window, toying with a few loose strands of Sara’s hair. She stared out the window, trying to ignore the electricity of his presence. Damm it Sidle what’s wrong with you. You’re past this. Time to move on! ! Despite her self-scolding Sara couldn’t’ help but let the completely illogical part of her think, but for a second that the normal wave of attraction that she normally associated with being near him seemed, not only more intense than it had been since her most recent attempts to suppress it, but it seemed intermixed with an energy of sorts from him. The fact that he kept glancing over at her every few seconds didn’t help matters, as had she not known him, she would have taken them and their accompanying sighs as attraction from him. She mentally shook her head, dismissing the thought as they pulled into the driveway of the diner. “Sara? I can get you something and bring it out here if you want to be getting home, but if you are ok I would enjoy your company.” You’re going to tell her. You’re going to tell her and it’s going to be ok. Life is too short to not even give it a chance. Give yourself a chance. Grissom gave himself a self pep talk in an attempt to slay his own fears. He looked worriedly at Sara. She’s really been affected by all this. Maybe I should give her time to think. His continuing battle of second guesses was giving him the beginnings of a migraine at the base of his skull. “Um, I really do want to get home. Maybe we could have breakfast another day. I’ll just grab some carry-out.” Sara said hurriedly. She needed to get away from him before she said or did something stupid. Why does this have to be like this? Why can’t I just learn to accept him as my awesome, intelligent, not to mention sexy…oh hell. What if I’m not imagining it? He practically said I was beautiful once. But practically isn't definatly. The two grabbed their food and set off to Sara’s apartment, each unaware of the other’s internal battle. -------------------------------------------- too vague? too slow? tell me please!
sorry I don't like it anymore, especially after the shaving scene how can I waste my time in the past! sorry MacsGirlMel
awww ok LOL at your location...I SO wish I could write a CSI/Bones cross. Especially now that Bones had that LV ep.
why can't you? Actually now that you put that image into my head I just might do it sorry I know, chat-y Here I'll redeam myself: I have a new fic up called Here In Your Arms, go read it