BLUE NEW YORK (RATED: R - For language and violence)

CSINEWYORK000

Lab Technician
hello everyone,

I'm back with yet another fanfiction. This one is called "BLUE NEW YORK" and when you read the story you will learn why this story has this title. Furthermore, this story does contain certain degree of violence and language - please be advised.

I hope you enjoy this story.
 
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BLUE NEW YORK

"One Mind, One Blood - BLUE"


RATED: R (For language and violence)

Chapter 1 : "The Begining"


EXT. New York.

Statue of Liberty.

Fade to...

Sun is setting on the city streets, casting shadows on the highrise buildings.
City Streets, people are walking about.

Black mustang driving through the city streets, inside is a man.

EXT. New York Downtown. Dusk.

Old beat up neighborhood, broken windows in apartments.
Grafitti on walls, abandonned alleys. Two cars are parked in a middle of a lot, music blaring.

Two men are leaning on one the cars, smoking.

[MUSIC PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND]

CHAMILLIONAIRE "Ridin'"

They see me rollin
They hatin
Patrolling they tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
My music so loud
I'm swangin
They hopin that they gon catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Police think they can see me lean
I'm tint so it ain't easy to be seen
When you see me ride by they can see the glean
And my shine on the deck and the TV screen
Ride with a new chick, she like hold up
Next to the playstation controller is a full clip and my pistola
Turn a jacker into a coma
Girl you ain't know, I'm crazy like Krayzie Bone
Just tryin to bone ain't tryin to have no babies
Rock clean itself so I pull in ladies


Laws of patrolling you know they hate me
Music turned all the way up until the maximum
I can speak for some niggas tryin to jack for some
But we packin somethin that we have and um will have a nigga locked up in the maximum
Security cell, I'm grippin oak
Music loud and tippin slow
Twist and twistin like hit this dough
Pull up from behind and is in his throat
Windows down gotta stop pollution
CDs change niggas like who is that producing?
This the Play-N-Skillz when we out and cruisin
Got warrants in every city except Houston but I'm still ain't losin
They see me rollin
They hatin
Patrolling they tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty

Black mustang pulls up, a man walks out. The two men spotted him.

Man 1: Its about time.

Man 3: Sorry, the traffic was a bitch.

Man 2: You got the goods..?

Man 3: Yeah, You got what I want...?

Man 1 opens the trunk of a car...(White bags of drugs are lying around)

Man 1 : Yeah, right here.

Man 2: Alright let's what you brought...

Third man opens the trunk of a mustang......various types of guns are in the
trunk.

Man 1: What the fuck is this...?

Man 3: Isn't this what you wanted...?

Man 2: Hell No!

Man 1: You call that a gun, man, I can't shoot shit with that.....

Man 3: Look, a deal is a deal. We gotta make the exchange.

Man 2: Whatever man.

The two men exchange and both walk away......
 
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[MUSIC CONTINUES..]

And been a baller that I am I talk to them, giving a damn bout not feeling my attitude
When they realize I ain't even ridin dirty bet you'll be leavin with an even madder mood
I'mma laugh at you then I'mma have to cruise I'm in number two on some more DJ Screw
You can't arrest me plus you can't sue
This a message to the laws tellin them - WE HATE YOU
I can't be touched or tell 'em that they shoulda known
Tippin' down, sittin' crooked on my chrome
Bookin' my phone, tryin' to find a chick I wanna bone
Like they couldn't stop me I'mma 'bout to pull up at your home and it's on
They see me rollin
They hatin
Patrolling they tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty
Tryin to catch me ridin dirty...

The two men take off. The man in the black mustang stays behind.

The man lights a cigarrete, gets in the car and takes off.......

EXT. NEW York - Night melts into Day.

City Streets. People walking about.

Fade to…

EXT. NEW YORK , Apartment building – Day.

Police cars have arrived to the scene. Various flashes of crime scene tape
and Paramedics.

Detective Mac Taylor and his team arrive at the scene. They walk into the building with kits in their hands.

INT. Apartment building, Office.

A man in his 30’s is lying on the floor in a pool of blood. Detective Stella Bonasera puts her kit down
to take pictures of the body.

Stella Bonasera: Single shot to the back of the head.

Mac Taylor studying the body…

Mac Taylor: Single shot to the head – he probable never saw it coming.

Stella Bonasera: This is defiantly murder.

Detective Danny Messer calls out from the living room.

Danny Messer: He defiantly lives here. His belongings are still intact, which

means we rule out robbery…

Stella Bonasera (finishes his sentence): …and look for a more personal

motive.

Mac Taylor: It means that the victim knew his killer.

Detective Don Flack enters the room.

Don Flack: Hey.

Mac Taylor: Got ID on the vic?

Don Flack looking down at his notes…

Don Flack: Yeah. The vic’s name is Caspian Williams, 30 years old, no
know family.
Rumors have it - that Caspian came from a wealthy family.

Danny Messer: So, maybe who ever killed this guy was after his money.

Mac Taylor: I think its important to take the evidence back to the lab
before drawing any conclusions.

Everyone nodded and continued to collect evidence.

EXT.NEW YORK – EVENING.

Detective Taylor walks into the medical lab, to speak to the medical examiner – Sheldon Hawkes.

Mac Taylor: Sheldon…

Sheldon Hawkes: Hey Mac.

I was able to recover the bullet from our guy.

Mac Taylor: ( looking down at the table, there a bullet lays in bowl) Looks

like a 99mm caliber.

Anything else ?

Sheldon Hawkes: No, unfortunately. This is the bullet that killed him.

There are no defense wounds – he didn’t put up a fight. But I found

this note in his pocket……..( handing the note to Detective Taylor)

NOTE.jpg



Mac Taylor: That’s in Brooklyn. What time did he die ?

Sheldon Hawkes: I would say that he died approximately 2:00 a.m.

Mac Taylor: At the body was discovered at 6:00 a.m. Which gives us a 4 hour window.
Thanks Sheldon.


Detective Taylor leaves the medical lab. Detective Stella Bonasera is in the upstairs alb in her office –Detective Taylor walks in.

Stella Bonasera : Hey, Did Sheldon recover that bullet?

Mac Taylor: yeah, I left it with Danny to be analyzed

Stella Bonasera : I have been doing some research, the Williams family

was quite wealthy, his father – Morgan Williams had a big company, but

when he passed away he left his money to his youngest son – Caspian.

Mac Taylor: So Caspian had siblings?

Stella Bonasera : So his brother returns - to kill his brother and take his

share..?
That doesen’t make any sense …

Stella Bonasera : Maybe it does….If the parents left them more than just

money.

Mac Taylor: So the brothers got greedy and the youngest got in the
way……..

Detective Danny Messer walks in with the ballistics report.

Danny Messer : Hey, I got a partial print off the bullet - got a hit in CODIS. The print belongs to an ex-cop. No picture, location, and just a few old records.

Stella Bonasera : An ex- cop, well that’s odd.

Detective Danny Messer passes the report Detective Mac Taylor.

Mac Taylor: The name is Steven Hunter. Worked in the force for 20 years- was forced to leave due to a personal connection a Yonkers gang connection.

Stella Bonasera : This case gets stranger by the minute - what would an ex-
cop doing at our crime scene?

Danny Messer : yeah, why would the cop be chasing this guy.

Mac Taylor: We have to find him and find out.

Danny Messer : But how, Mac?
There are no locations, no address, almost every record is wiped off.

Stella Bonasera : Almost as If he’s trying to hide himself.

Mac Taylor: He probably gained a lot enemies while working. So, when he left

he didn’t want them looking for him. I’ll have Flack look into it………




TBC…………
 
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I like it so far. But I don't know if the mods will let you go much further because the boards have a PG-13 limit.
 
Re: BLUE NEW YORK

I like it so far. But I don't know if the mods will let you go much further because the boards have a PG-13 limit.


Yeah, youre write I should have been more careful, I didnt realize that.

Well, as far as I wrote - there is no more foul language, and mild violence. My writing is not graphic -it just explains the situation. and I will keep it clean......

Writers promise.
 
^^ Yeah, so far, it's not so much rated R so you wouldn't have to worry about it. I think as long as there isn't any graphic sex scenes or an inundation of extreme violence, the mods are cool.

A good start so far! I love how you put in a visual aspect to the story--the note.

Script fics are my favourite to write and read so I'll definitely be waiting for your next update.

Just a few things I would suggest however, as I always offer a bit of constructive criticism when I review:

You tend to write 'defiantly' a lot. Perhaps you were thinking of 'definitely'? Because defiantly is a completely different word and would change the essence of the sentence.

Also, for scripts, I don't think it's required to write 'Detective Danny Messer' or 'Detective Mac Taylor' during the descriptions every time. A lot of script writers are pretty lax with that. It's your choice, however. :)

Anway, so far so good! Keep up the great work.
 
Hi,


I'm dropping by to say that this thread will be post poned (sp)

for a while, as I will be leaving for Europe. I hope you can bear with me

this time - I will return.




Thnx.
 
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