A Funny day at the Lab (A CSI:LV fic)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Guest, Jul 10, 2006.

  1. Guest

    Guest Guest

    A Funny day at the Lab

    Inside the Crime Lab. Sara is seated at a table, intently studying her organizer. Greg is standing by the light switch and keeps flicking the lights on and off.

    Sara: Greg, what are you doing?

    Greg: My homework.

    Sara: Your homework involves turning the lights on and off every five seconds?

    Greg: No. I just like to do it.

    Sara: Knock it off!

    Greg: Why?

    Sara: Because I said so!

    Greg: Why?

    Sara: Because I'm older and you have to do what I say!

    Greg: Why?

    Sara: Because you're just a kid!

    Greg: Oh.

    Catherine enters.

    Greg: Hello Catherine.

    Catherine: Why do you keep calling me "Catherine"?

    Greg: Because it's your name?

    Catherine: Oh. Yeah, that is a good reason. I mean, what else would you call me?

    Greg: "Cath"?

    Sara: "Catherina"?

    Greg: "Cathy"?

    Sara: "C.W."?

    Greg: "Catherine Willows"?

    Sara and Catherine look at Greg blankly for a second.

    Greg: What???

    Sara: I don't know. What?

    Greg: That's what I just said.

    Catherine: No, that is what Sara just said.

    Greg: Sara said what?

    Sara: Exactly.

    Catherine: What exactly?

    Sara: Exactly what.

    Greg: What???

    Sara: Now you've got it!

    Catherine: I have a head ache.

    Greg: Me 2.

    Sara: No, you mean "me too".

    Greg: Whatever. Wanna play Blue ball, Catherine?

    Catherine: Sure! Lets let Blue play 2. I mean "too". Where is Blue anyway?

    Greg: I don't know. Here Blue!! Here boy!! (whistles and claps hands)
    Blue comes running into the lab, dragging Grissom behind him by the leg.

    Greg: Hi Grissom!

    Grissom: Greg, have you fed Blue lately?

    Sara: Blue! Bad dog! Drop Grissom!

    Blue just looks at her.

    Greg: blue, drop Grissom.

    Blue spits out Grissom's leg.

    Grissom: Thanks. Yuck! Dog spit.

    Catherine: Here, catch!

    She throws a ball to Greg. Greg leaps after the ball and lands on a table top to catch it. Catherine jumps up on the table to catch Greg's pitch. She, Greg, and Blue keep tearing around the diner and causing all sorts of chaos in general.
    The ball sails by Nick Stokes narrowly missing his head.

    Nick: What are you tryeeng to do? Pleaze! You are cauzeeng a frightful commotion! Do not jump up on zee table! Ack! Ztop eet!

    Catherine: Heads-up!

    She wings the ball from the counter top and over Grissom's head. Grissom ducks slightly to avoid the ball.

    Grissom: Whoa!

    Greg: I got it!!!

    He leaps off a table top and goes soaring into Grissom, knocking him flat on his back. Greg catches the ball.

    Greg: I GOT IT!!!!!!

    He scrambles off Grissom and throws the ball to Blue.

    Grissom: Stop throwing the ball!... Oh.... Pain.....

    Sara: Greg! Catherine! Stop it!

    Warrick enters.

    Warrick: Hey, ya'll. (the ball cruises by almost taking his nose off) HEY!!!

    Catherine: (catches the ball) Got it!!! (she hurls the ball to Greg)

    Warrick: Geeze! You really gotta limit these 2 on energy shakes.

    Sara: Don't you mean "two"?

    Warrick: Nah. Same difference.

    Sara: Oh. Yeah, that's true.

    Warrick: Whut're ya doin' on th' floor, Griss?

    Grissom: Trying to regain enough energie to stand up.

    Warrick: Oh. Wey-ell if that's all, Ah'm gonna order a shake. Say Nicky', how about a Vanilla shake?

    Nick: Do you mind? Zee name iz "Nick".

    Warrick: Yeah, yeah, whatever. How 'bout muh shake?

    The ball comes screaming in. Warrick ducks just in time, but it smacks Nick in the face.

    Nick: OoooOooh........Zat iz EET!!!! I QUEET!!!!! .......For zee second at leazt.

    He storms out.

    Grissom: Oh perfect! How am I going to find another CSI?

    Warrick: Yeah. Now how'm Ah supposed ta get muh shake with?

    Sara: Grissom, get off the floor.

    Grissom: Okay, but I don't think it's gonna.....

    He gets up and is immediately slammed from behind by Catherine. He crashes face first into the floor.

    Catherine: (catches the ball) I got it!!!!

    She climbs off Grissom and wings the ball.

    Grissom: Case in point.

    Warrick: Doesn't that hurt?

    Grissom: Yeah, but I'm kind of used to it.

    Warrick: Oh. Sorry Ah asked.

    Grissom: That's okay. (Grissom gets up and sits cross-legged on the floor.) This should be safe.

    Warrick: HIT THE DIRT!!!!

    Warrick and Sara dive for cover, slamming Grissom into the floor *again* as Blue soars overhead after the ball. Greg and Catherine race after him.

    Grissom: Guess not.

    Sara: This is terrible!

    Grissom: I know, that's the third time in five seconds that I've been slammed into the floor.

    Sara: No not that! I mean I didn't schedule any of this for this second!

    The whole team (exept Sara) :Whatever Sara!

    The End
     
  2. MissMurder

    MissMurder Lab Technician

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    *rolls on the floor with laughter* :lol: :lol: :lol:
    Amazingly funny Crimescene17 :D. Totally hilarious :D
     
  3. stokeluver

    stokeluver CSI Level One

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    crap! thats funny!
     
  4. BurnedToast

    BurnedToast Coroner

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    ^_^ That was really funny! Poor Grissom, isn't even safe cross-legged. -sniffles-
     

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