1001 things you don't do in a fanfic

pretty_in_pink

pretty_in_pink

Lab Technician
I'm not sure if this is allowed, but since this is the fanfiction forum, I suppose it'd be appropriate. I heard of this in another forum. Basically it's a list of things that readers have gotten tired of and whatnot when reading fanfics. It's NOT to judge or disapprove of a specific fanfic or any specific author. It's pretty much a forum with constructive critcism on what not to do when writing a fanfic.

I'll start:
1. In the immortal words of Ross Gellar: "Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means 'YOU ARE'. Y-O-U-R means 'YOUR.'" It's called a homonym. Please use it right.
2. Danny proposing 5 minutes after Danny and Lindsay's relationship starts, and then Lindsay finding out she is pregnant with triplets 5 minutes after that isn't realistic.
3. Please, for the love of all things holy, don't use chatspeak in your fanfic.
4. No more westerns or musicals. There's only one exception for this rule, and that's a fic on ff.net called The Mysterious Ticking Noise. Kudos to whoever came up with the idea of parodying (sp?) the Potter Puppet Pals. :lol: ;)
5. Cross-overs can be interesting but a x-over between CSI and "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" is a tad improbable. Same goes for "My Little Pony". Sorry guys, but I have to do it.

That's basically how it goes. So, share the cliches, worst one-liners, bad grammar, and anything else that aggravates you so much that you want to choke the bejeesus out of someone.
 
There's the obvious "no Mary Sue" or the male equivelant "Gary Stu"(I laugh at that to no end nowdays because of Gary S playing Stu in The Stand lolol)...That's those characters who are good at everything, have no flaws, super smart,look gorgeous...all at the same time. I know there are other types of Mary Sues, but I can't recall them all...a quick Google (or Yahoo in my case) search should find you some stuff. Including a Mary Sue test to put your characters through so they don't wind up as Mary Sues. It's good for RP characters too when you're making an original/madeup character. Unless you're trying for humor maybe...I did once see someone do a fic titled "The Mother of All Mary Sues" lol

my big thing is another one: I know English isn't everyone's native language, and I greatly admire you foreigners who tackle writing in English, most of you are good :) True, English grammar can be tough for non-native speakers and I don't expect perfection. But I don't like when people don't make sure they at least have halfway decent spelling and punctuation...that's what spell checker and betas are for. (admittedly I often don't get my one-shots beta'd, but long fics I do, and I make sure the short ones are okay on spelling and stuff.)
 
One thing that really really really gets to me is leaving out speech marks. OMFG i have read so many bloody fanfic's were they leave out speech marks and it drives me bananas for God's sakes use them!

e.g.

Hello said Sally How are you?

Very good said Jack

Grrrrr! *tears hair out madly*

Yeah :)

Also try not to swear too much, I know it's nice to make a sentence out of the word f*** but really it get's annoying have people constantly saying things like f*** the f***ing f***ers.

Also don't make your plots more complicated than the Da Vinci code. It's fanfiction not a bloody novel!

Yeah! Apart that and what the others have said happy writing !
 
*nods* and on the opposite end, make sure there *is* at least a little plot and it's not all, er, adult situations.(am treading carefully here so hopefully I'll stay out of trouble) If you like that kind of thing, that's your perrogative, and if it moves the story along, fine, but I get annoyed when it's just there to be there or the fic is nothing but it. Unless that's what your going for...I think it's called PWP, Plot What Plot.
 
^Yeah I have to agree with the smut thing. All smut no plot is a wee bit tedious, but whatever floats your boat.

PWP, Plot What Plot?
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Reminds me of that new Quentin Tarintino film death proof. PWP all the way through but that's off topic

Another annoying thing I find is making everything really ooc! Like someone just becoming all lovey dovey! V. annoying.

Actually while I'm talking about annoying things is stealing movie plots e.g. Taking all the csi ny characters to middle earth and pretty much redoing LOTRS only Frodo is Danny, Sam is Flack, Aragorn is Mac etc. I mean be original! Use your imagination!

And one more thing-IF you are doing a High School fic for god sakes do not make Lindsay get pregnant with Danny's baby and keeping it and being happy. It's not a good idea (teenage pregnancy)

This is my opinion though :)
 
(last post, I promise, so I don't get too 'chatty') I kinda agree...my feelings on those are mixed. They can be fun but my mind won't quit going "those chars wouldn't have known each other then!" lol

I don't see it much fortunately but stereotyping would be a big negative in a fic. I'm not sure about trying to mimic speech patterns...I used to get annoyed in Buffy fandom when people would try to write out Spike's cockney thingy just because it's harder to read. This fandom is a bit better though...at least no one I've seen has tried to mimic Calleigh's twang, for example, in fic. Aiden's Brooklyn speech I've seen it done with once in a while but it's not common either. I can see why they do it but it does make it harder to read. Just MHO though.
 
^Yeah trying to do accent's annoys me!

Another annoying thing is putting tons of details and v. little dialog. Detail is good but not in excess! Another thing is wriitng in txt language! Talkn lke dis al da tme is really annoying and LiKe ThIs aLl tHe ChApTeR is blooming annoying!
 
1) Song fics the problem with these are, the writer is so dependent on the song lyrics that the story ends up weak, and flimsy.

2) :lol: I'm actually guilty of this one too, but sometimes I see authors getting a little carried away with it. And that is Catherine having children -- as in multiple -- in her 40's. :eek: It's a little too ooc.

3) I'm not sure if I should name names, but there is a particular ship I stopped reading completely, because I got real tired of character A being portrayed as a jerk and character b as an angel. Then by the end of the story they fall in love, because character A realizes they were really madly in love with character b. Not only does it stretch credibility in my eyes, but when I see my favorite character maligned....it makes me stop reading.
 
I could be here all day, so I'll sumerise.

1. Spelling the characters name wrong- why? ANY website will tell you how to spell it. AND it's on the back of the DVD's.

2. Clearly having no reguard for the English language - They are called editors and spell checkers people. Also, formatting, like starting a new paragraph when a new person starts speaking.

3. Total lack of characterisation - Calleigh is not going to break apart and burst into tears because someone messed up her desk and Grissom is not going to stop loving his bugs just becasue you don't like them.

4. OC's with no personality - I'm all for adding your own characters to futher a plot or even to stand against the primary but please, give them a purpose, a drive.

5. Lack of research - want your character to have a view on abortion? Great, just find out how abortion works. Find out what the legal limitations on termination are. Your characters Islamic? Wonderful. Do you know what the five pillers of Islam are? Without proper information your story and characters don't seem realistic.


Another annoying thing is putting tons of details and v. little dialog.
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See now I don't agree. I think, in some cases, detail and description can mean more that dialogue. I wrote a story in which I really explored the mind of the character. This story included maybe 3 or 4 lines of diologue in about 2000 words. It seemed to be successful and recieved some good reviews. However, I see your point, sometimes more diologue is much needed. It depends on the story and the purpose.

Okay, I'm done :lol:
 
- Rape. Please, please, please no more stories where Calleigh/Sara/Lindsay/any female character gets raped by their dads, moms, brothers, sisters, dogs, cats, etc., which eventually leads to some male character who the writer loves swooping in and being the knight in shining armor. Story ends when the female character wants to have sex with the male character, which is supposed to be some huge step in her recovery even though it's only been 2 weeks since her rape.

- Fourteen-year-olds writing smut. Just don't do it! I'm sorry, but 99.9% of 14-year-olds are not mature enough to handle smut properly. Some of the words these people come up with for the female genitalia is just UGH. Nobody calls them that in real life, or at least the characters in question have too much class to use those words. Amateur porn != well-written smut.

- Just say no to high school fics.

- For people who post on ff.net: shut up about bad summaries. If you can't write a decent summary, chances are, your story sucks balls anyway and I'm never going to read it.

- The other problem with ff.net is the amount of people who cannot tell the difference between good writing and their asses, so they end up encouraging sucky writers to continue posting sucky stories, increasing the amount of suckage by fifty billion.

- For people who offer to beta: if you can't spell the word grammar, I don't want you anywhere near my story, sorry.
 
umbrello said:

2) :lol: I'm actually guilty of this one too, but sometimes I see authors getting a little carried away with it. And that is Catherine having children -- as in multiple -- in her 40's. :eek: It's a little too ooc.
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^^ Ok, I'm guilty of this too. I am currently writing a fic where :eek: Cath is having children.

But I can see where you guys are coming from. Writing smut is way harder than it sounds. Please if you attempt to do so, get a beta, they will make it easier, I promise.

Yes, do research on your characters and the storyline you want them to take. Examples.. How would Cath take it if Lindsey got pregnant? What would Grissom do if his mother died? How would Brass handle Ellie coming back to his life?
I think you get it, right?

Let me just clear things up here..
I am not the best writer, and I have enjoyed reading almost every story here, but sometimes where there are obvious spelling and grammar mistakes, it makes it hard to read. Again, I am not critizing anyone or anyone's work it's just things that I notice.

The main thing about writing is that the more you do it, the better you get. :D
 
Well, I am criticizing :) But I'm not directing it at anyone in particular.

I'm all for improvement, it's one of the most important things a writer can do. I guess that can go on the '1001 things you do do in a fanfic' :D. That's why LLK started the fanfiction critique group on here (see my signature) which is designed to encourage improval on both ends.

As for the smut, I admire anyone who tries. I wrote my first a few months ago and we so scared about the response. Luckily it was all good :lol:

But yeah, there are too many childish porn fics out there. And too many 'lets have the main character get raped' fics. What we do to these poor characters.
 
I worte an extenxive fanfiction guide with the help of a friend of mine. It's called "Keeping Your Beta Happy." I wouldn't mind linking to it if you're curious about reading it.

The thing about Islam and knowing the Five pilars, I thought that was funny (whoever said it) because I said almost the same exact thing in my guide.


As for Catherine having children, no it's not likely, but it's not impossible.



My mother was in her 40's when she started having children. She lost a daughter when she was 29 and it took her more than a decade to feel like trying again. My father was also in his 40's. So yeah it's not the norm, but women do have children at that age... So just consider that. I'm not saying that it is right or wrong just not as impossible as you sometimes want to think.

What gets ME is Catherine getting pregnant, not going to the doctor at all, and ending up with a perfect pregnancy without a hitch. I mean there would almost absolutely be complications. I mean, my mother almost died giving birth to my older brother... pregnancies hardly ever come off completely without a hitch, and the older you are the harder it is.

And Adorelo is absolutely right that's exactly why I started the Critique Group because I think that we can all learn a lot from each other and even from writing critiques and reading the ones submitted by other people.
 
Elements of Style: Grammar Errata and Other Resources is one of the best resources on this site and I recommend it to anyone who is thinking about writing a fic and doesn't know where to start.

LLK, you should post your guide. :) I wouldn't mind reading it.

adorelo said
5. Lack of research - want your character to have a view on abortion? Great, just find out how abortion works. Find out what the legal limitations on termination are. Your characters Islamic? Wonderful. Do you know what the five pillers of Islam are? Without proper information your story and characters don't seem realistic.
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You said it! :) Research is pivitol, especially for fics pertaining to CSI. Need to find out the crime rate in Vegas, Miami or NY? Spend a few minutes on google. Want to explain how a bullet embalism works? Wikipedia is a Godsend.

Please don't make things up as you go along. The writers for CSI have consultants and the internet, a fic writer should as well.

-Like many others, spelling the characters' names properly is essential.

-One's mother accent (Ie: The author's accent) should not seep into a CSI fic. As much as it may pain some to hear, CSI is an American show with American characters, thus writing a fic using Canadian/British/Australian/whatever slang (especially when there's dialogue between the CSI characters) creates poor characterization. Brass wouldn't say "Have a gander at the chesterfield eh?" but rather "Take a look at that couch over there." We will want to keep these characters as the CSI writers intended them, right? Of course I understand some can't change the way they think, but it helps to make these characters as 'real' as possible and as much in character as possible.

As for smut/rape, I won't comment too much on it but one thing: Please no incest. It's a reality but not something the majority of the public want to read.
 
That was me LLk and that's where I got it from.

I think people would like it if you linked.

I'm always wary of wikipedia, it can be... difficult

As for accents, people like Calleigh and Nick can have they accent intensified in stressful situations. It happens naturally.
 
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